Passion for the Field

Take me home

Emma sat in the passenger seat gazing out the window. Just focus on the directions she told herself. Just get home and you can get refocused. Hes just a guy driving you home. Dr. Bennett glanced over at Emma. She was intriguing. He had met numerous people in his work both as a psychologist before grad school and during his college career but she was different in a way he couldn’t put his finger on right in that moment. She was beautiful in an understated way. Her hair was thick and wild with spiral curls. It brushed against her face in a way that made him want to tuck the strand behind her ear. He had never seen hair like this before. She didn’t wear makeup but that only enhanced her appearance because she had a natural skin that radiated. Her brown eyes bestowed a kind of intensity that made her seem ethereal. Like he wanted her to bare her soul just so he could understand her. This was an unusual feeling for Alexander. Women had always flocked to him but they were usually so vapid and simple that he brushed them off. He had never had a serious relationship despite his mother trying to set him up with her friend’s daughter. No one could meet him at his level. Here he was with this woman who was throwing him for a loop. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking about as he pulled away from the party but he suddenly wished he could read her mind. “What way are we going to? He asked as he slowly turned toward the main highway. “Oh! I live near the university” Emma replied startled. “Ok I know my way back there” Alex quipped. “So where did you do your undergrad?” Alex continued trying to make conversation. “Here” Emma said quietly. I have worked in Dr. Andmonsen’s lab since I was a freshman. Continued on for my masters and now I am working on my PhD” Alex nodded. “Thats a long time to be in one place” he remarked.

Despite already knowing the answer Emma asked Alex about his degrees. Prestigious universities and enviable post doctoral positions. On track to becoming one of the great minds in psychology. Emma turned back to the window as the car cruised down the interstate back toward the university. “What kind of music do you listen to?” Alex continued. “I don’t listen to much, I am almost always in the lab or out working for the project” emma responded without looking back from the window. “What kind of world is there without music?” Alex continued on. Emma smiled but quickly replied “I listen to what other people play but I don’t have a strong sense one way or the other.” Alex smiled softly at Emma. He remembered being in his doctoral program years ago. How he too lived and breathed his work. Emma was obviously in a similar situation. “Well if you ever want some suggestions let me know. I love music” Alex responded. “I think I’ll stick with what I know” Emma said. They continued to drive until the exits started to show State. Emma told Alex where to get off and guided him towards her apartment. She lived in a complex a few blocks from the university on the 3rd floor. Because the semester was not in session it was still quiet on the street and in her complex. Alex managed to find a parking space right near the front door. Putting the car in park Alex turned to face Emma in the car. “Would you like me to walk you up to your door?” Alex asked. “Oh I don’t think that would be necessary” Emma responded. “Theres almost no one here yet anyway”. Alex locked his eyes with hers and couldn’t help himself but continue to look at her. She looked so beautiful there in the street lights in front of her place. Her hair brushed against her cheek and all he could think about was touching it and moving it away from her face. God he wanted to touch her. “What is this “ he wondered to himself. A world traveler he had never felt like this before. So enamored so entranced. Never mind that she was a student in his department. With that Emma broke the spell that was happening between them and said, “I better get going”. “Will you be in the lab tomorrow?” Alex asked almost involuntarily. He had to know he would see her again. “Yes” Emma replied. “We have a standing all hands meeting every Monday morning, I will send you the invitation”. “Great “ Alex said. “I guess I will see you tomorrow”. “Yep, thank you for the ride” Emma said. “It was no problem” Alex replied. With that Emma opened the car door and walked through the front door of her building. Even though she didn’t look back she knew Dr. Bennett was watching her as she walked in the door. She smiled to herself as she pushed the elevator button. He had felt something between them too. She was sure of it but what could this relationship ever be. He was a full professor in his early 30s and she was an obscure graduate student. She probably would even be able to get a job in academia. Competing with hundreds or even thousands of other graduates for faculty positions would likely relegate her to teaching classes at a community college. Emma sigh as the elevator journeyed to the third floor. Whatever her feelings were she knew she had to focus on her academics and her thesis. This was just a silly crush on a man she could never be with. Undoubtedly he would get to know her and what spell he was under would be broken. Yes it was time to put it out of her mind and focus on what was in front of her. She unlocked her apartment and went straight to bed sleeping off the confusion she felt in that moment.