The Ninth Door

Chapter 7 - Ghosts of the Pasts

Annette

As soon as we entered the Junction, I felt its cold grip. Even though I knew the house had been fully renovated since my mother’s death and that its temperatures were monitored and regulated, it still felt like I was that little girl again. Cold and uncertain. The night my mother died, the place felt like a giant freezer but that was because the place was in shambles, the cold air blasting in and the walls damp with neglect. What happened then added to the chill, one that had taken over my soul. They all wanted me to forget it, but it still invaded my nightmares and even my waking hours. Being a different person – Annette Fairly – didn’t help.

I shook away the feeling as much as I could, but not before I rubbed my upper arms vigorously. My teeth almost chattered, but most of what I felt was psychological. The heater wouldn’t be able to warm and calm it.

“You feel the cold, too, don’t you?” Emmerich asked, and I wondered if he meant a cold that wasn’t just physical. He scanned the interior in wonder, with his frown emphasizing the premature crease between his thick eyebrows. My eyes lingered on him, in awe of how it looked like he belonged here, wearing Silas’ cashmere padded leather jacket and jeans. The modern clothes hugged his muscular body, one that was honed by practical training rather than the gym. His boots added to his imposing height, and I had the strong urge to cling to him but I had to shake away the feeling of being a damsel in distress. I had been working for years to disentangle myself from this identity.

“Yes, but logically, I know I shouldn’t,” I answered, fortunately finding the words to answer. Showered and shaven, Emmerich had been a needed distraction. I had never been this close to a handsome man who wasn’t related to me by blood. But more than his looks, something inside him seemed to emanate something even more attractive – the promise of safety and resilience. Piercing green eyes that sometimes shifted to a different color turned to me. He was like a vacuum, with its endless spirit creating a funnel that seemed to suck me in.

“No. It feels warmer now,” he admitted as we went past the foyer to follow Mrs. Winter to our rooms. His eyes were still on me, a question hanging there. I inwardly shook myself. I shouldn’t be staring at this man for too long. I couldn’t be attached to someone who had to leave after possibly my life’s grand adventure – of opening nine, possibly non-physical doors.

“This place is now more modern. There was a time it was chilly, especially during the years it was uninhabited. We had let this place go to near ruins, but realized that it was better to have control over it. What was it like for you from where and when you were?”

Emmerich’s frown went deeper as he listened. Then, his gaze seemed to turn inward as if he was imagining his life appearing before us.

“We had begun using wall fireplaces, a vast improvement over merely having a fire on the hearth. There were tapestries everywhere. Dusting them was tedious, but they were necessary, especially during the winter months.”

“Ah. I almost wish I could see your place the way you’re seeing mine.”

“I wouldn’t wish that on you, Sienna,” he said thoughtfully. “It doesn’t have your life’s comforts. It’s grimier and more violent. People died young.”

“But you would still want to go back home there?” I asked before I could stop myself. Of course he would want to. He had his life waiting for him there. His mother and Lady Mary would be waiting. His presence here was forced upon him.

It took him a few more beats than I expected before he responded. He had looked confused at first as if he was disoriented about where he was.

“Yes. Of course.”

“Will you be marrying Lady Mary after you’ve successfully accomplished our mission?” I chided myself for asking too many personal questions.

“Perhaps.”

It was a simple answer. It floated like the motes of dust swirling between us. Strange. The whole place looked and smelled clean, and yet these specks floated in front of us.

“Let’s go, you two. Sorry about that. I had the keys with me. Then, they weren’t for some reason. Silly old me,” Mrs. Winters said, sounding breathless when she rejoined us. I barely even noticed that she left us alone there. Two valets came to carry our bags to our rooms. There was a time when the Junction’s servants were all cat shifters. This time, I couldn’t tell. I didn’t dare ask Uncle Stefan.

“It’s not a problem, Mrs. Winter,” I assured her.

“So, are you taking one room or two? We now live in modern times. Emmerich, we used to have a Bride’s room. It’s where the brides to be had to sleep before marriage. I’m pretty sure it never stopped lovers from staying in the same room. You two decide.”

Warm crept over my skin, spreading from my face to my chest. I imagined I looked more like a strawberry about to burst with my blush dotted with freckles. Emmerich gave me a questioning glance. I knew he would take my cue since this is my world.

“We’ll take the adjoining rooms, Mrs. Winter. Emmerich may need to stretch out tonight. He’s tired and I sometime, uh, move too much in my sleep.”

The housekeeper looked at me with barely disguised pity, and I felt a little bit of myself shrink inward. She knew that every attempt I had to sleep well here had always failed. I always submerged myself into nightmares.

“Emmerich needs to be near you to hear your cries, Sienna. The bed is large enough for the two of you and more. The mattress is one of those no-disturb ones. You can stay on your end and not disturb Emmerich on his.”

His eyes were on me, yellows mingling with the greens. They seemed to say that I could trust him, and I knew then that I could.

“Okay, but just get the adjoining room ready, too,” I said softly. I knew what was coming. I wouldn’t be here if not for the need for revenge and getting my mother back in some form. Emmerich shouldn’t have the choice to watch over me as an unpaid bodyguard or get his body’s rest in the other room. He was the leopard prince, after all. He should be welcomed accordingly.

Mrs. Winter opened the door to what I knew to be the bigger of the two adjoining rooms. The emperor-sized bed might have the modern no-disturb mattress but the dark red canopy and the antique wooden, carved frame provided it with an old-world look. I giggled nervously just as Emmerich audibly exhaled.

I knew what he was thinking. It felt like a bigger, more comfortable version of a bed from his time and place.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I asked, instead, as Emmerich and I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room with the servants depositing our luggage inside.

“It’s glorious,” Mrs. Winters corrected. “This is your home, Sienna. Yours and Silas’s and Joy’s. One day, unless he sweeps you away from here, which I hope he won’t, Emmerich will be part of the Junction, too.”

Something flashed in Emmerich’s eyes as the housekeeper said the last line, and I wondered how he felt about becoming part of this place. It might be my wild imagination, but I could hear the vibrating growl coming from his throat. It wasn’t a purr – not all. He wasn’t completely pleased, and I couldn’t blame him. Mrs. Winters didn’t know that he would never be part of this place. He would have to leave as soon as we accomplished our mission.

“I would love for him to feel at ease here.” I was surprised at the honesty in my words. I couldn’t think of him as a mere visitor, even if that was what he was. The low growls continued, making my palms clammy.

Was Mrs. Winters hearing it?

I couldn’t really call attention to it by telling him to stop. When I glanced at the elderly housekeeper, there was a knowing smile on her face. Could she have guessed?

“I’m leaving the two of you to unpack and rest. We’ll have dinner in a couple of hours.”

“Formal?” I asked, thinking back to when I was a child loving the dress up nights in the Junction.

“It doesn’t have to be with just the two of you this time, but tomorrow, your Uncle and cousins will be here. Did you bring some formal clothes?”

“Yes, Mrs. Winter. We did.”

How could I explain to Silas why Emmerich would be wearing some of his clothes here in the Junction? He probably had too many clothes and some were classic styles that would be common on other men that he wouldn’t notice anyway. God, I hoped not. He probably would chalk it to coincidence and would joke about good taste and all that. Other pieces were brand-new and unworn, but meant for Silas’s rare visits. They were now Emmerich’s own.

“Alright then. See you later.”

She left so quickly and with barely any sound except for the softest click of the door. I sat on the foot of the bed, suddenly feeling tired.

“It’s just the beginning of the journey and I’m already exhausted,” I admitted. “We could just wear these clothes to dinner.”

“I agree,” he murmured.

“But that means we can’t rest on the bed with these dirty clothes on.”

He chuckled, remaining standing in the middle of the room, facing me as my back longed to just rest on the mattress.

“Is this what you consider dirty here in your world, Sienna?”

“Rules are rules. Somehow, they are stuck in me. I always thought I would be safe as long as I followed the rules. Look where it got me. Orphaned. Lonely. Depressed.”

“None of those are your fault. There’s nothing you can control. If you’ve ever seen my world, you’d see that there, control is even more of an illusion. You can die any minute from disease, war, assassination, and poisoning.”

“I’ve read the sanitized version of your story several times when I was young. I always thought of the glamorous part of being a knight, all honor and glory.”

“The sanitized version is well and good. But the reality? That was what gave the whole thing the honor and glory in the first place. You can never feel your wins just as potently if not for the losses. If not for the wounds.”

“The ghosts of my pasts are what make who I am, Emmerich. My mother’s rape and murder. An anonymous father. A need for revenge. Of course, there’s the curse over my family, hanging heavy on us for generations.”

“Being a shifter is a curse, but it can also be a blessing, Sienna Kelley,” he growled, this time, more distinctly. “Let the cat in you rise.”

“What’s the most interesting thing about leopards?”

A mischievous glint in his eyes revealed an amused Emmerich. He laughed soundlessly with his eyes squeezed shut and he shook his head in amusement, as if recalling something. I was surprised by that burst of sunlight.

“W-what is it?” I asked, laughing.

“It’s not good for maiden’s ears.”

“Think of me as one of your knights,” I commanded, straightening my back and lifting my chin.

“Your sanitized version never mentioned that leopards mated for days, not leaving their mates alone. And they -.” He stopped, noticing how I was gaping at him. It was embarrassing to say that my cheeks heated up again.

“Forget about it, Sienna. I apologize for being inappropriate.”

“I asked. You also didn’t give me all the details.”

“Perhaps another time. We need to focus on opening the first door.”

He probably wanted to go back to Lady Mary as soon as he thought of mating like a shifter. But was she a shifter, too? Was I?

“Welcome back, Sienna,” a girlish voice whispered in my ear. I willed myself not to fear. I would need to talk to the ghosts of this house and face the ghosts of the past if I wanted answers and doors opened.