Serena: Would you love me less if my name was Eva?
Misery:Yes.
Misery: But not like, by a lot.
I bury my face in the pillow to laugh and cry at the same time.
I WAKE UP A FEW HOURS LATER, ON FIRE.
Pouring sweat.
Shivering.
In pain so visceral, I am willing to do anything, absolutely f*****g anything to not feel it. Even something as drastic as dying.
I roll out of bed and drag myself to the shower. Loud whimpers spill out of me, and I slap a hand against my mouth, until I remember that Koen won’t be home until morning. If I use his bathtub, he won’t know. Or care.
I stumble across the hallway, taking three pit stops on the way— two to dry heave, and one to just collapse for a little while. As one does, I tell myself. Totally normal. Nothing to see here.
My head spins as I pull my
