Rough: Books 8-9

Chapter 2-2

"I'm sorry for the wait. I just wanted to shower quickly,” he said, when he saw her sitting at the table sipping a glass of water. He still wasn't sure if Mia had heard him the first time.

"Don't worry, that's alright. I'm sure it felt good,” she replied. He took a look at the table. He was impressed with how much effort she had put into it all. The table was set, with the food in a serving bowl in the middle. He hadn't had any of Mia’s cooking before and as his senses took over him the wonderful smell of food was almost too much. It took everything inside of him not to shove his face into the bowl filled with spaghetti bolognese which Mia had already mixed. He took a seat across from Mia as she offered him something to drink.

"Just some water please." He couldn't help but feel like royalty with the treatment Mia was giving him. He wasn't sure he deserved it after what he had put her through before the k********g and he felt guilty. She didn't seem to mind giving him the attention as she placed a glass in front of him and poured some iced water into it with a gentle smile.

"How are you feeling?" Mia asked as she took a seat after pouring him some water. She didn't want to baby him but she also didn't expect him to do everything on his own. She was okay with taking on the responsibility of helping him for a few days, just to make sure he didn't strain himself. She knew he was a strong man but everyone needed help now and again when they weren't able to help themselves.

"I'm feeling much better after my nap. My body doesn't feel 100 percent itself yet but I'm sure it'll be back on track in no time,” he replied. Mia was pleased to hear such a positive attitude from Sage, she would probably still be a wreck if the roles were reversed.

"I'm so glad to hear that. It must have been a lot to go through,” she said as she tiptoed around the topic gently, not wanting to make it obvious that she wanted to talk about it. She was desperate to know how he had been throughout the experience, he hadn't said much about it at all which for Mia was strange. Most people wanted to talk about their trauma, but Sage ignored it. She noticed that was a pattern of his, ignoring things around him.

"It was,” he stated, not leaving much room for the topic to go any further. It wasn't enough for Mia.

"You know, you can talk about it if you want. You don't have to keep it all inside to deal with alone. I'm here for you,” she said gently while she looked into his blue eyes. The feeling of love for him oozed out of her every pore. She could almost physically see it reach across the table and touch him, but luckily it was just her imagination.

"I know I can talk about it but I just don't want to," he said sternly. He always worked through things his own way and in his own time. He didn't need help from anyone. Actually, he knew that wasn't entirely true considering what had happened to him when he had been so helpless but he knew he didn't have to talk about it, especially to Mia. If she knew how weak he had felt and how he had almost wished for death he knew she would think less of him and he didn't want her to think any less of him than she already did. He knew she must've lost whatever respect she had for him when he had been so cruel to her so he could only imagine how much respect she'd have for him if she knew what he went through.

"You could look into therapy if you don't want to talk to me,” she suggested. Although she wanted to be the one to help him, she knew there were other options.

"I don't need to talk to some shrink about my feelings. I don't need someone to give me drugs or coping mechanisms to work with,” he said irritated. He wished she would just drop the topic, but she didn't.

"No one says you have to take any drugs, Sage, but I don't think it's healthy to just let everything boil inside,” she said.

"Mia, do you not think I went through therapy when I left the army? Do you think it helped? It didn’t. Nothing can change what has already happened and there's no need for me to harp on about it,” he said. He knew that although he hadn't spoken about what had happened to him, everyone knew he had been the only survivor.

"I'm sure you did and maybe it didn't help then but it could be good if you go again,” she replied.

"If it didn't work for me then, what makes you think it would work for me now?" he said.

"We could look into a different kind of therapy. Something that could make you feel more alive. It doesn't have to be the typical therapy everyone goes to,” she said.

"I appreciate the thought, Mia, I really do, but I'd really like to just leave it alone if you don't mind,” he replied sternly. Mia decided to drop the subject, knowing no matter what she said he wouldn't change his mind.

They proceeded to eat dinner in silence, both not wanting to say anything to the other that could make the conversation any worse than it already was. The air around them was tense as they avoided eye contact.

Once Sage had finished his plate of food, he looked at Mia as she stared vacantly at her plate while she ate. He was grateful for everything she had done for him but he knew there was no way he would talk to her or anyone else for that matter about what was going on in his head. He was strong enough to deal with it on his own.

"Thank you for dinner, it was delicious,” he said as Mia finished her plate. She was a slow eater he noted.

"It was my pleasure,” she smiled at him, although it didn't really reach her eyes. He had hurt her feelings like he always did, although this time he hadn't meant to.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to head back to bed,” he said as he pushed his chair back so he could stand, feeling a pinch of pain shoot through his legs as he stood. He held his facial expression together, not wanting to give his pain away. He really hoped that by the time he woke up the next morning the pain would be nonexistent, he needed to get his strength back but it would be hard if he continued to be in pain.

"That's quite alright,” she replied, "you need your rest." She didn't fight him. She had already lost every battle with him so there was no point trying anymore.

"Thank you. Would you like some help cleaning up?" he asked.

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it,” she said. Sage stared at her as she smiled with reassurance.

"Okay then, well, goodnight,” he said. He turned and headed for his room once again.

Mia cleaned the dishes, taking her time cleaning the rest of the kitchen as well. She knew it had been a traumatic experience for Sage and she wished she could help him but he was stern when he said he didn't want any help and so she decided it would be better if she just left the topic alone. She hoped that if he needed her he'd go to her when he was ready but she knew that was highly unlikely. Once the kitchen was spotless and everything was packed away neatly, Mia made her way to her room where she showered and got into bed. She was also exhausted from the last few days. She hadn't realized how much of a toll it had taken on her until her head hit the pillow and she fell asleep happy knowing Sage was at home, just a few feet away from her.

Sage stood in the hallway with a handful of packets filled with groceries with his back toward Mia.

"What are you doing?" Mia asked. Sage, however, didn't move. He didn't respond to Mia at all. She walked around him so she could see his face. When she took a closer look she noticed he didn't have much of a facial expression. He stared vacantly ahead as if he was seeing something she couldn't.

"Sage, are you okay?" she asked with concern laced in her voice.

He finally registered her voice as his eyes focused on her face, a smile forming across his lips.

"Hi, yeah, sorry I got distracted there,” he replied. Mia looked into the direction he was previously facing, wondering if there was anything there. She noticed nothing.

"What were you looking at?" she asked.

"Weirdly enough, I was looking into the future,” he said. Mia couldn't understand what he meant.

"What do you mean? Can you see the future now?" she asked teasingly.

"Haha," he laughed, "nothing like that, silly. It's like I came into the house and I could picture myself doing this for the rest of my life. I could picture myself coming home with shopping, coming home to you and this house,” he said as he looked around. Mia reached forward and took the shopping from his hands and put them on the ground. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I can picture that too,” she replied, the thought of their future making her smile.

Mia continued to dream of her and Sage, she couldn't help her subconscious from making them an item in her mind. She smiled to herself while she slept, thinking of Sage.