my Rapist my Lover

my Rapist my Lover 3

It's been a month since Sandile bought the place he offered me a job but my pride wouldn't let me take it. I had decided to go home for few days just to clear my head I was worried about the next chapter of my life I really didn't know what it had im store for me but I could tell that I was on a road to struggle and poverty. Also, I had a son to think of in whatever I do I wanted my son to have everything I ever wanted as a child with me having no job meant he will not go to a private school as I had wanted to. His father, that is a story for another day.

I am squashed in a taxi backseat with three huge ladies who have been eating since the taxi took off if I had a choice I would have taken a bus but I decided on a last minute that I was going home. Sandile will find an empty house when he comes to my place he really has helped me over the past two months after I lost my job I even agreed to be his girlfriend for the benefits not that I loved him, I hope he finds someone who loves him as he deserves to be loved he is such a kind person just not for me. I found myself smiling thinking about him, could that be love. Not! I enjoyed his company that's all.

I got to my home town Mandeni around about 5am I called my drunkard of a cousin to come and fetch me I knew he was still coming from a party now or accompanying his "one night stand". He picked up almost immediately and told me he would be there in a few minutes. My aunt had just woken up sweeping the yard that's what she does every morning before she can do anything at all. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me as I made my way to the house.

"Ngiyathemba awuxoshiwe njalo" she just had to. (Let's hope you're not fired)

"Morning, I am really tired can we talk after I wake up"

She just looked at me then shook her head not thatI blamed her I was known to be the troublesome one in the family. I dragged my suitcase to the house amd took it to my room. My son was still sleeping I was going to see him when I wake up.

My name is Minenhle Zuma I was born and bred in a small town called Mandeni in KwaZulu-Natal. I am the only child from my mother's womb she died while giving birth to me. My father is somewhere in our location he drinks day in and day out he is just useless, he always asks for R10 when he sees me. My aunt took me in she had no choice really. At the age of 16 I was raped but I never told anyone about it that is how I conceived my son, I did not tell anyone because I was ashamed I thought maybe there was something wrong with me that made provoke the guy. It must have something I was wearing since I liked short things and I was half drunk since I was coming from a party. Till this day I don't remember the face of the guy who raped me my mind must have blocked it to protect me. At first, I didn't love my child he was a constant reminder of what happened but as time went on I grew fond of him he loved me tirelessly, he showed me love I never got I connected to him in a way

I can never connect to anyone. I made a vow to live for him.

At the age of 18 I passed my grade 12 at that time my son was 2 years old, my results were not that good so I was luckily accepted at MUT to do Diploma in HR which I dropped out on second year since I had no financial means of carrying on so I had to that is love I ended up in Joburg earning peanuts.

I woke up to find my son playing with my eyes trying to open them, I smiled and woke up.

"Look at you all grown" I said tickling him he laughed while trying to hide his face he was still shy even at 6 years old. I decided to wake up anyway it was round about 3pm. Lihle was following me around, it's like he was scared that I was going to disappear well I last saw him 2 years ago I don't blame him. My aunt gave me my food and told me to do the dishes after I was done even at 21 years I was still ordered around like I was some child.

"You will cook supper for the whole family"

I agreed well it's not like she was asking me, well my aunt is strict and rude at times we don't really get along but we love each other if you get what I mean. She raised me I will forever be grateful for that.

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