I Got Together with My Crush's Rival

Chapter 4: The Real Part

I went to the market with Evan because I wanted to, and I hated how simple that was.

We met by the old clock tower. He had a canvas bag over his shoulder and a list on his phone. The market filled the pedestrian street with folding tables, handmade soap, winter vegetables, and a folk trio playing beside a coffee cart.

Evan bought a jar of honey from an elderly vendor who called him "young man" and asked if he was eating enough. He bought me a paper cone of roasted almonds, then insisted I take the last handful because he had already had lunch.

"You're very generous with food," I said.

"I have a strong belief in snacks."

"You have a strong belief in other people's snacks."

"I contain multitudes."

We stopped at a table of secondhand books. I picked up a battered collection of essays and found a note tucked inside the cover, written in blue ink: For the day you need to remember the world is bigger than this room.

I showed Evan.

"That's a good note," he said.

"Do you think the person who wrote it knew whoever found it?"

"Maybe. Or maybe they hoped the book would outlast the room."

I glanced at him. "You always talk like you're auditioning for a thoughtful-person award?"

"Only when I'm nervous."

The admission quieted me. Around us, shoppers moved through the narrow street. Evan stood with his hands in his jacket pockets, waiting.

"Why are you nervous?" I asked.

"Because I like spending time with you, and I'm not sure how you feel about me."

I thought of Noah's plan and the lies still sitting between us. I could have told him then. I could have stopped the whole thing while it was still small.

"I like spending time with you too," I said.

"Good." His shoulders relaxed. "That's a start."

We wandered through the rest of the market. I bought a small clay bowl with a crooked blue rim. Evan found a booth selling old postcards and chose one with a drawing of the town's riverfront before the mills closed.

"You're collecting evidence?" I asked.

"Proof that the town once had better buildings."

He asked if I wanted to get dinner. I said yes. We went to a place with picnic tables under heat lamps and shared a plate of roasted potatoes. When he reached for one, his hand brushed mine. He paused, then looked at me.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

I felt my heart thud once, hard.

"Yes."

The kiss was gentle. He didn't rush it or make a show of it. His hand touched my cheek, and the warmth of his thumb made the whole market seem suddenly distant.

I kissed him back.

Then my phone vibrated in my coat pocket.

I didn't check it. I couldn't. For the first time since Noah made the request, I wanted to keep something for myself.

On the walk back, Evan took my hand. I let him.

When I got home, Noah was at the table with Lila's name on his open screen. He looked up when he saw me.

"Good date?"

"Good."

"You kissed him?"

The question was too quick. "How do you know that?"

"I don't. I was guessing." He closed his laptop. "Did you?"

I shrugged off my coat. "That's between me and Evan."

Noah blinked. "Okay."

The silence that followed felt unfamiliar. I waited for him to laugh, to say he was only asking because of the plan. Instead he stood and poured himself water.

"Lila invited me to a movie," he said. "Just us."

"That's great."

"I think she's starting to see me differently."

I set my bag on the chair. "Because Evan stopped asking?"

"Maybe." Noah's gaze stayed on the glass in his hand. "Maybe she just needed space."

I heard the uncertainty beneath his words. I didn't know if I was relieved or angry.

"Then maybe you should tell her what you want, instead of treating Evan like the only thing in your way."

"I have told her."

"Have you told her you like her?"

He looked at me. "Not exactly."

"Then you haven't."

Noah's mouth tightened. "I don't need a lecture."

"I wasn't trying to give one."

"You're acting like I asked you to do something terrible."

I looked at him, at the boy I'd loved in small, quiet increments until wanting him had become a habit. "You asked me to get close to someone so he would stop being competition."

"And you said yes."

The words landed cleanly between us. He was right. I had said yes.

"I did," I said. "That doesn't make it a good idea."

He sighed and sat down. "I thought we were helping each other."

"How am I helping myself?"

"You get to spend time with Evan. You seem to like him."

I hated how true that was. "I didn't like him when you asked."

"Maybe you do now."

"Maybe."

Noah watched me for a moment, then looked away. "So what happens?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to keep seeing him?"

"I don't know."

He didn't ask me to stop. He didn't ask how I felt about the kiss. The unanswered part of me wanted him to notice that I had come home different.

Instead, he said, "I should get ready. Lila's picking me up in twenty minutes."

He left for his room. I stood alone in the kitchen, holding the crooked blue bowl I'd bought.

My phone buzzed.

Evan: I had a really good day. I'd like to do it again.

I read it twice before answering.

Me: So would I.

I didn't tell Noah.