A TOUCH OF INSANITY

chapter five

I am trapped again and the feeling of this town made me claustrophobic, and all I could think of was the constant memories and pain that I had to go through and so you won’t blame me that when the picnic ended I had already started packing my bag to leave this place. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with my grandfather it was that I would rather not be with him than be in a place I was constantly drowning and not being saved. As I drove home I listened to my voicemail, one from Mimi and the other from an unknown number, I listened to the unknown number first because I knew if it was important Mimi would have constantly called me

“Hello…..umh…this is henry,” he said sounding nervous

“well...I was just calling to check up on you….and if you could hang out….not in a romantic way, just as friends….because when girls hear you are single they think that you are ready to jump into another relationship…when you have not f*****g healed from the last one…..Ummm…basically am saying if you would like to be friends” he said squirming his words and that caused a smile on my face. As much as I wanted to be friends with henry I don’t think it is a good idea, mostly because of his brother and the rest is that I don’t trust male friends still the same reason I have not still called Sean even if he still leaves messages in my voicemail. We are used to be a trio until I decided to fall in love with one of them if that was love because that love was toxic and dangerous to my health and those around me. I played Mimi’s message

“Hey, b***h…..well your keys are with your neighbor and so sp I kind of stole your pink shirt….” I wonder which of the pink shirt she took…it had better not be the chiffon shirt, that basically my favorite pink out of all the pink clothes I had

“no not the chiffon one,” she said like she knew what I was thinking

“..well the one that is kind of like sweater…and I know what you think” but Mimi always brings clothes to my house, If we were dating she should have her own Mimi cupboard which she does so why was she taking my stuff

“…I swear…..I forgot to dry clean the clothes I have at your place” she said and as I heard the last voice call I turned off my phone. I entered the house and all I could feel was how I was welcomed with the emptiness of loneliness, I dropped my keys and headed to my closet where I kept my hidden memories, pictures of my family. I picked a picture filled with Anna at her recital; she was a genius in the piano playing

“You have to come to my recital,” she said

“Go away, Anna,” I said slightly pissed “can’t you see that I am busy” I shouted

“no” she insisted, I rolled my eyes forgetting that she got her stubbornness from me which I got from my mother, she was as stubborn as a bull when wants to get something

“what do you want?” I asked as I turned to face her

“I want you to come to my recital,” she said as she handed her invitation with a smile

And the tears started rolling down without me realizing, of the memories in which could only memories and I could feel the pain. The pain of being alone, my heart was screaming to be heard and I found myself reliving the same pain of the loss. I scattered the box in which I kept the pictures on the floor and I looked at my desk and saw a scissor and all I could think of the thought of slitting my throat at least I could join my family in death. I moved close to the desk and gripped the scissor with my brain calculating where I need to cut to get a swift death as I draw the scissor to my hand, I found myself breathing harder than normal, and immediately I threw the scissor on the floor and walked out of the house and I could think was that even in suicide I was a coward. I walked down to the nearest bar and order as much drink as I could and all I wished is that I wanted to drown myself in this alcohol. As I take my tequila shot I hear someone familiar talking to me

“aren’t you underaged to drinking” Clark kent said as he sits beside me

“am 24 years old,” I said and he looked shocked to hear

“I took a gap year,” I told him feeling like I need to explain to him

“doesn’t mean you should drink excessively,” he said with a hint of concern and disapprove

“I had a shitty day, I don’t need you to make it worst,” I said taking another. As I try to order another one he stopped me and my eyes were on him pleading for him not to ask me why I was like this, but I had a feeling he already knew

“I think you need to stop,” he said sternly

“My parents died today,” I said shaking a little, I wasn’t going to tell him that it wasn’t only my parents that died and that I was alone in this world, But just enough for him not to stop the alcohol from coming in cuz I need to feel the numbness

“oh,” Daniel said and I could feel the pity in his eyes “what do you want me to do” he offered and I said the next craziest because I didn’t want him to leave

“We could do body shot” and his eyes popped out like I had just said the most ridiculous thing and I found myself laughing hard, I looked around to see if there was anyone in the university and all I could see was a bunch of old men and waste ass drunkard

“come on there is no one here” and the next thing he said shocked me “okay but nothing sensual” and I found myself blushing because It made me want to do bad things to him

The bartender brought our drink and the night got more fun, I take a shot before I started with licking the salt from his wrist after which I sucked the lime, we started safely that was until I put the salt on my neck and I looked at him daring him to lick me and he stood up moving close to me and he licked my neck, his tongue circled around my skin and he slightly grazed me with his teeth and my throat let out a soft moan and then sucked his lime. I placed the salt on his neck to return the favor and his hands found my waist as I sucked his neck and when I was done, his pupils were dilated and I took the shot and sucked the lime. This time he placed the salt on my collar bone close to my breast and licked it but he didn’t stop with licking it, he rolled his tongue around the area and I could feel myself getting wetter and I found myself more daring I took the lime and put it in between my lips daring him to suck it from my lips, he moved a lot closer to me and gently bend his head and his other hand caressing my neck and he slowly sucks the lime from my mouth and when he was done I was more turned on than I was before I took my first tequila shot with him and the air was tensed and his eyes had said that he had a mistake, he shifted back and his hands left my body.

“I think we should get you home,” he said and I nodded because I could not find my voice at that electrifying moment

“is your place far from here,” he asked and I shook my head and he led me out of the bar. We entered the cab together as I whispered my address to him, he held me close but not too close but just enough to hold me steady and all I could think of was that I wanted him closer. The ride was short as we reached the front of my apartment, I could feel my stomach clenching and my throat dry and the feeling of vomiting was constant. I held his hand tighter and I could feel my body ready to vomit everything out and immediately Daniel assisted me to the flowering plant and I vomited all content of food and as soon as I did that I started feeling dizzy

“hey….steady” as he held me in the waist, he opened the door and directed me to my bedroom, the room was still scattered with pictures, but he didn’t say anything he simply just took me to the bathroom and brushed my mouth as I sat on the toilet seat

“do you take care of people like this,” I said slugging my words

“yeah,” he said calmly

“then who takes care of you,” I asked

“no one,” he said with a hint of sadness and I stopped talking to let him continue brushing my mouth and as soon as he was down, he was ready to go but I held him by his cloth

“I want to bath,” I said immediately removing my top before he decides he didn’t want to stay, and as soon as I did he turn away

“ok….I will wait” he said as he left the bathroom. When I was done bathing I was a little sober but the effect of the alcohol was still there. I saw him sleeping and so I curled into the bed but as soon as I did that it stirred him up to wake up and he stood up ready to go but again I stopped him, something I had done throughout the day, stopping him from walking out of my life

“stay” I whispered and he sat down on the bed moving the hair on my face and taking it to the back of my neck

“I can’t,” he said with tenderness, something he won’t show me if we weren’t drunk

“it lonely here…I don’t want to be alone ..please,” I said

“I will stay” and with that, I drifted to sleep