INSTINCTS VS. LOVE
1395 Words
NATALIA
“Why did you follow me?” I asked, probably a lot later than I should.
It’s been almost ten minutes since we left the pack territory. I didn’t even get to retrieve my things, and I also left my phone and car, but that was the least of my concerns.
“I heard you crying,” Tristan answered, still focused on driving.
“I wasn’t,” I quickly denied because I really wasn’t. At least, not when we were together. I painfully endured until I was far enough and was also sure that he wasn’t tailing me earlier. I would have seen him if that were the case.
He slightly shook his head,” You were. I don’t know how, but I heard you. I just guessed where you’re going.”
I couldn’t respond, both because I was amazed and because I couldn’t make sense of what was happening anymore. It should have been impossible for that to happen. It’s not like we were mated, and even if we were, only those who have marked each other and developed a deeper bond could hear each other’s thoughts.
My eyes darted ahead, and I realized that Tristan was driving the opposite way back home. He wasn’t moving towards his pack territory either.
“Alpha, where are we going?” I asked, close to getting nervous at how he was acting. I didn’t mean to sound like I was accusing him of anything, but I’m having a hard time distinguishing my memories from this reality.
I saw the pain in his eyes after my remark. “I know you got scared of how I reacted last time, and I still owe you a huge explanation, but please don’t be afraid of me, Talia. I promise I won’t hurt you. Never.”
My heart sank hearing the desperation in his voice. He misunderstood my reaction, but his words still hit me. I was reacting like this because he hurt me with memories that only I remember, and he didn’t even know.
I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to blurt out the truth, and pushed myself to stay calm instead.
“Where are we going?” I repeated, more calmly this time.
“I don’t think you’d appreciate being in our house right now. I just want to bring you somewhere… calmer. If that was possible.” He explained, voice faltering a bit.
He didn't say much and simply waited for my response.
“Okay.” I agreed, not having much choice anyway.
Silence enveloped us, but it didn’t take long before we stopped. I looked outside the window and saw a beach ahead. Before I knew it, we were already sitting at the shore. The sound of the waves and the calm sky made me feel at ease.
I didn’t expect him to be right about this place, but I feel a little better about it.
“Thank you for bringing me here.” I opened the conversation, though I wasn’t sure if I was ready for what I was going to hear next.
“I always go here whenever I feel overwhelmed by things. I’m glad it does the same thing to you.” He turned to me, bracing himself to say something more.
He held my hand tightly as if I would disappear if I slipped away, “Talia, about the thing I said, I wanted to tell you but needed time to gather my thoughts… it was the reason behind the odd things that you have probably noticed happening to me. It’s because-”
“You’re mated to Lorelei,” I cut him off, only because I couldn’t take hearing it from his own mouth.
His eyes widened. “Since when did you notice?”
I pressed my lips, wanting to say that I knew even before they had met. “Since the first time you’ve met. I saw the way you look at her and how furious you are because of her condition.”
Tristan couldn’t respond for a good moment. His eyes glimmered for a second, but I couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind.
Maybe there is one more chance I could make this right.
“I know we’re married out of duty to our packs, but now that you have your mate, maybe they would understand if we wanted a divorce-” This time, he was the one who cut me off, “Is that what you want?”
I was taken aback by his question. My wolf, as stubborn as I was, was already yelling at me to tell the truth. At least tell him what I truly feel.
Despite everything, I still love him. I love him even if it hurts my entire being. I love him, even if it’s wrong on so many levels.
And that was my greatest sin.
“Does it matter what I want?” I ended up answering.
I almost flinched when I heard my wolf whimpering, yelling out in opposition to my decision. It also reminded me how much we had failed in the past, but the circumstances were different now.
Tristan’s hold on my hand tightened a bit as he gave a small nod, “It does because I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to force you either.”
It was my turn to be surprised, not expecting his response. I thought once I gave him permission to let me go, he wouldn’t think twice and gladly take it.
“Talia, everything I said in the past before we got married was nothing but the truth, and it doesn’t change in a snap because I found my fated mate. I love you, and for the first time, I question the goddess why she didn’t let us be fated mates instead. I’m truly sorry for not telling you, but it wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Believe me, please.”
My heart melted with his words. I’ve been asking the same thing for ages, asking why it couldn’t be me when I was the first to arrive in his life.
“Talia,” Tristan called my name, pulling me back to my thoughts. He cupped my face, expectation in his eyes. “Do you really want to end this?”
My lips trembled. Every rational thought in my mind tells me to let it go, to protect myself before I get hurt again, but my heart, ever so stubborn, desperately pleads otherwise.
“I don’t want us to end,” I admitted and felt my entire being at ease after telling the truth, “I love you so much that I was ready to fall over and over again if it meant that we’ll be together, but you’re mated to someone else. How do I even fight for you when it’s fate that I’m against?”
I felt him tensing up with my remark. Even if everything he said was true, it doesn’t change the fact that he was fated to someone else.
“I’ll sever our bond. I’ll reject Lorelei.”
I stared at him, completely dumbfounded. “What?”
“I made up my mind. I’ll reject my bond with her. You’re my wife, and you’re the one I love.” He bit his lip, “But not now. If I do that to her in that condition, it might not just break her. It might kill her.”
As extreme as it sounded, a mate bond is the most powerful bond werewolves could have. They say that those who have severed the bonds will always carry an empty part of their hearts and souls that could never be mended in several lifetimes. It shatters the soul, especially for the rejected one.
Tristan was right. With Lorelei’s physical condition, severing the bond could really kill her.
“Once she recovers, I will do it.”
My chest tightened. It would also hurt him, yet he was willing to give up the chance to be with his fated, not just in this lifetime but several more, to make up for it.
“What if… what if you regret it?” I couldn’t help but ask. It was a huge sacrifice.
“I won’t. What I feel for Lorelei is mere instinct. Yours, on the other hand, is real. It’s been real for years.”
- Writer
