A White Moon

Falling Deep

“Olivia, yours and Aurora’s clothes are really dirty. You should go and change.” I haste out to say.

They look down at their clothes and see the spots on the knees of their leggings. They look appalled, then run off to their room and I breathe out a sigh in relief. But that’s all for nothing because when I turn around to face them both Dora and Ellie stands with their arms crossed.

“Spill. Now.” Ellie says.

“Don’t even think about lying. I will use my Luna voice. If that doesn’t work I’ll take on extreme methods.” She smiles diabolically when my head starts to shake. No, she wouldn’t use the love of her life like that! “…In other words, I will tell Logan you are hiding something.”

“Fuck.” I curse under my breath and cross my arms. “Where are the boys?”

“The twins are with their dad downstairs and Noah just went with Makela and Robert.”

“Alright. What about the girls?”

Dora’s eyes cloud over as she mind-links. Ten seconds later she’s back and ushers us to her office.

“The nannies will go be with the girls.” When she closes the door behind her, she walks around her desk to sit in her lounging set. Ellie and I take our own seats and I start to spill.

“…Keaton snuck away and went with us to the playground and then we left the girls with Jake, Carmen and Gemma. We walked over towards the la- Wait a minute! Dora you never told me about Logan! Why should I tell you about Keaton or Kayden?!”

“Because now that you have found you mate… or mates. I will tell you. You just must go through your own experience first. I will, of course, tell you the more important stuff you need to know about s*x. But other than that, you need to get your own experience.”

I sigh and studies her face for a bit.

“We kissed.” Ellie and Dora jump up and down on their seats and I hide my face in my hands. I whisper out the last part. “It was incredible. I thought I was flying..”

When I take my hands down they are both looking at me with the biggest smiles.

“What?” I ask.

“That’s what I’m feeling when David kiss me. The first one and every single time after that. The butterflies, warmness…” Ellie smiles dreamingly. “His hugs are the best!”

“That is so funny.” Dora says and looks at Ellie. “Before you, I didn’t think David had a warm side. He’s always been so stiff and serious. He still is around everyone other than you.”

“Yeah. That was my impression of him too, before my wolf told me it was him. For her it’s always been him, they are eternal soulmates.” Dora and I gasp. There is true soulmates, most common, chosen mates, which is also common, and eternal, which are the rarest. ”They’ve been reborn together for a long time, they’ve also had pups around the world. She won’t tell me where she’s been because she says it doesn’t matter, her pups are all gone by now and maybe her latest life’s great-great-grandchildren are alive.” Ellie smiles to herself as her wolf reminds her of something, I guess?

“She and her mate sacrificed their love for an important mission the Moon Goddess needed them to do. Her gift back to them was allowing them to be reborn together, forever. She says he has been like that since day one and she loves him. More than life itself.”

I looked at Dora and there were tears in her eyes. Me? I had a lump in my throat and tears were streaming down my face.

“That is so beautiful Ellie.” I blurt out.

“Yeah.” She grins.

Then we heard a knock on the door.

Dora smile and says. “Come in baby.”

The door opened and Logan looked at us. Each of us, then stayed at Dora.

“My love. The meetings are done for today, so the barbecue starts in about an hour. You want to take a shower together?”

“I’d love to honey. You are so sweet.” Dora’s smile warmly and it tugs at my heart. My heart that is split in two and does not want to be without either piece a single moment more.

Dora stands up to walk over to Logan. Ellie stands up and stretch her hand towards me. I take it and stand up. “Well, I better find my man to see if he has time before his shift starts tonight.”

“I can always change his shift if you want Ellie.” Logan offers.

“No. Thank you Alpha.” Ellie smiles gratefully towards Logan. “He loves me more than his job, but he likes his job a lot and he values what he is doing to keep our people safe.”

Logan nods before he and Dora leaves us. Ellie walks towards the staris but not before she sends a wink my way.

I walk into my room. Before I get to do anything else I get a mental picture from Ellie on Kayden in the staircase. “Prince Charming is looking for you.”

“Thank you Ellie.” I leave me room and walk down the stairs to find him waiting for me between the third and fourth floor.

He looks down at his hands and I have a few seconds to look him over. I’m absolutely positive that he knows I’m here. He is a werewolf after all.

He looks a bit more relaxed than before when I saw him.

“You know.” I say and he looks up and his vibrant blues are staring into my soul. “It´s crazy that we just met this morning. And so much has happened already.”

I think back on everything that happened since I took the boys out to the playground this morning. The Alphas and Betas were supposed to stay until tomorrow.

“The girl, Ellie, said I could wait here for you. I didn’t want to make the Beta and Gamma thinking I would be a threat to their families.”

“Aaron and John will be fine. They are really good guys.”

Just as I was finished saying that I heard small steps behind me. I turn around to meet the eyes of the future Beta, Henry, Aaron’s son. “Good evening Beta Henry. What can I do for you?”

Before he could stop himself the kid's face lit up with a smile when I referred to him as Beta Henry. Then he calmed himself down.

“Hello Elle. Alpha.” He nods towards Kayden. “Elle. Will you please escort your guest down from here? My mom just put my baby sister down. She’s teething and has a bit of a fever. I’m sure Mrs. Willis could sneak you guys a treat before dinner if you ask her.”

“Absolutely. Thank you for being so very thoughtful, Henry.” I answer him with a smile.

Henry salutes and turns around. I turn to face Kayden; he just stares after Henry.

I send a quick mind-link to Aaron. “Hey Aaron?”

“Yeah Elle. What’s up?”

“Your kid is the coolest little guy!” I state.

“I know. But what are you referring to?”

“He just broke Alpha Kayden. Words only!”

“I am so confused? I’ll talk to him.”

“No, no, no. Be very, very, proud of him. He was very grown-up and mature.” I get a sense of Aaron laughing and I cut the mind-link to focus on Kayden again.

“Where can I get one of those?” Kayden said and chuckled.

I showed with my hand that we should continue down the stairs. “Sorry. He is one of a kind. Although the future Alpha Xavier is quite similar. And their parents would definitely notice if you took one home with you.” I look at him and wink.

“Yeah I bet.” He thinks for a while. “Well. I’ll have to get my own then.”

It feels like someone pulls the rug from under my feet and I’m falling deep. Down under the surface and beyond the galaxy. The walls seems to cramp in on me, I get a lump in my throat that clogs my air supply. Tears threaten to burst out of my eyes.

I turn towards the wall with both my hands beside my head and try to focus my breathing. But the thought of being Kayden and Keaton’s mate and not being able to give them children hurts so profoundly that it demolish every other thing I try. The memory block I’ve put up from that day crumbles like breadcrumbs.

** FLASHBACK **

My head hurts and the fog that consumed my head lifted ever so slowly and starting to feel a lot of pain in my stomach. My whole body hurts. My head feels like cotton candy, in a not so good way, and it hurts when I tried to remember what happened. It was really hard to formulate thoughts and even harder to process them.

“What are you doing out here at 5 a.m.?!” Dora yells at me. But she’s not angry at me.

“Where.. is here?” I whisper, still woozy and my head partially full of cotton clouds.

When she didn’t answer I tried to look up at her, she just stared at my stomach. Logan sat beside her and he too looked at my stomach.

“What?” I whisper.

They don’t answer but instead Logan placed himself in position to lift me up. Even though I could feel he was being incredibly careful I could feel the stab of pain in my stomach. It is like drawer of knives tumbling around in there! I’m just not able stop the scream that tares through me and leave my throat sore.

“We’re going to take care of you.” Logan says soothingly.

…

“DO something doc!” my sister says through clenched teeth. Logan pulls her into his arms but that does not stop her from looking furiously at the doctor.

“… I need to do x-rays” he wheels me out. I’m so scared alone in that small room.

Later, when a nurse wheels me back in I see my sister and Logan staring at me. Not meeting my eyes.

“I’m sorry.” The doctor says. He takes a seat in the chair. “Her uterus has been removed. I will give her medicine for the pain.”

“Does this mean what I think it means doctor?” my sister ask lowly, through clenched teeth.

“I am sorry.” Is the only thing I hear.

My sister takes my hand, with the other one she strokes my tears away.

“Don’t cry sis’. I will always be here for you, Elle. Always.” We cry together for what seems like hours.

** FLASHBACK ENDS **

As I come out of the flashback, the first thing I feel is all out deep-seated swallowing fear. It is so strong and potent. I’ve never felt it so strong before. I can’t breathe and I feel myself start hyperventilating. I have no control over my body. Unfamiliar words pop up in the midst of the confusion, panic attack.

“Elle. What’s going on?” I hear Kayden ask but I can’t answer. My throat is too cramped. I’m feeling dizzy, I close my eyes to try and help with the dizziness, my head hurts and my heart is beating a million times a minute.

Rochelle! You must breathe!

My wolf desperately tries to take control over my body, I desperately try to give it to her, but there is no luck for either of us. We are equally powerless in this situation.

I feel my wolf’s presence fade out and for a few milliseconds it adds on the fear. My legs start to give out. Then I feel strong hands grab a hold of my arms and turn me, the second later I feel lips on mine.

Tingles spreads all over me, my lips part in response to his. His tongue invades my mouth. I feel myself coming back and the warmness from his lips thaws my stiff body and it is spreading everywhere.

The feeling of falling deep is gone and now I am back. My brain starts working again and thus my control over my body is back, I slowly break the kiss and open my eyes to see Kayden’s face. His eyes are closed, but there is a wrinkle in his forehead that I do not like.

Well, no s**t. You scared the crap out of him and his wolf. I had to go to Kayden’s wolf and was about to tell him to kiss you when Kayden did it himself. Now I’m beat, so I’m out.

Oh. I don’t know what surprised me most: That Kayden kissed me to help me out of the panic attack or that my wolf talked to his wolf, when we're not from the same pack or mated and marked.

I see Kayden’s eyes open and I stare into his heavenly blues. I smile shyly towards him, then I lean towards him again.

“Thank you.” I whisper in his ear. Then I kiss my way back to his mouth. I pull him with me and pull out the keychain I always carry around my neck. The key to the library.

When did you get so bold??? My wolf asks.

Hush! Otherwise, I will stop!

Don’t! I love it! She purrs.

We make it to the library in less than two minutes. I lock up the door and then lock it behind us. I look around the place and no one is in there. Good!

My hands get to work fast, and cup his cheeks. I pull him towards me and kiss him like my life depended on it. It did four minutes ago. Kayden follows and pulls me closer; his hands go under my dress skirt. One finds it way between my legs. I stiffen.

“Relax. I’m not taking you here. I’m just going to use my hand. Maybe my mouth.” He groans against my lips. I shake to loosen my shoulders and start kissing him again.

His hand pulls my panties to the side and two fingers’ slide between my lower lips. I start to moan but his mouth captures mine. “You have to be quiet my love.” I nod even if I have no intention to be quiet as pleasure rolls over me in waves. His fingers continue their relentless path and soon one finger slips into my warmness, he starts to massage and push in and out. He twists and turns his finger, all the while he never breaks the kissing between our lips.

He adds another finger and I groan.

“My love, you are so f*****g tight.” He grunts at the resistance he is facing, he push through and adds another one and I’m gone. I feel a pounding pressure in my lower stomach as euphoria rips my body in half.

My head slams back and I hit my head, but I barely notice, as an orgasm shakes my body senseless. “Oh! My! Goddess!” I scream into his mouth.

His fingers pull out but he doesn’t stop, he pulls on my bud and my body winces involuntarily to try and comprehend with the pleasure. He is torturing my bud for a few more seconds and then push all three fingers back in. By now I’m nothing more than a panting mess shaking from pleasure as another orgasm hits my body.

“Oh. My. Gooooooooooodd- Don’t! Stop!” I pant and beg.

When I hit my third orgasm in five minutes, everything went completely black.