Love like a Calm Wind

A Father's Agony

Your mother...

THAT DAY my father was in rage.I can hear his curses from inside.He was so frantic.I even heard a loud thud from a glass.I reckon he threw it furiously.

He keep cursing the governor and if anyone would hear it he can be sued bigtime.I didn't know how long he has been cursing and throwing things like a madman.I just cried and cried till I fell asleep.

In the morning,the house seems quite.So quite that it gives me chills.I know something is up.The maids keep looking at me with worry in their eyes.But none of them spoke a word.What could be it?

I reached the dining table and I instantly move backwards when I saw my father sipping something on his cup.Our dining area is large enough for a family.It's noit very grand since my father had no interest in renovating our any part of our house.It stayed the same for years.

He didn't look at me but I am sure that he sensed my presence.The maid looks like she's in the verge of tears.She even look at me like she blame me for coming down.

I was about to walk back when I heard a loud thud.By instinct I look back and I saw his cup broken and the little coffee in it spilled on the table.The maid rushed to the kitchen leaving me and my father alone.He look at me with pure resentment in his eyes.

I may loath my father but that doesn't mean I do not fear him.I know him for years.He's a short-tempered man.Probably the reason why my Mom died back then.I do not dwell on it too much.The way he moves,his attitudes and his aggressiveness.I do not care back then.It's just one day when I saw him hit my mom and that made me hate him the first time.

"You brat!!!"nanggigigil niyang sigaw.With teeth clenched hardly he managed to sound a bit calm but rage still visible."H-how dare you!!!You ungrateful b***h!!"

Is there something I should be grateful of?

"You are really like your mother!Mahilig kumapit sa mayaman!!Hindi nakontento sa isa!!Why?!"habang unti-unti siyang lumalapit.Kitang-kita ko ang panggigigil at labis na galit sa mata niya.

Unti-unti akong nanghina.Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako makakalabas ng buhay sa labis na galit na ipinapamalas niya.Nakakatakot.

My hands trembled when I saw him coming close.My eyes began to swell.Ang nasa isip ko ay kahit anong oras ay hihimatayin ako sa kaba.Namimingi ako sa sobrang lakas ng t***k ng puso ko.Pero mas namingi ako ng isang malakas na sampal ang dumapo sa mukha ko.

Agad na nag-unahang pumatak ang mga luha sa mata ko.My eyes get blurry.I face my father only to see him gets even more furious.He hates weaknesses.

"Sa lahat ba ng mamamana mo sa Mommy ay pagiging mapaghangad?!Ano bang meron sa mga taong iyon na hindi maputol-putol ang koneksyon niyo sa kanya!!"Siguro sa tagal ng panahon na galit siya ay ngayon niya lang ito nasabi.Matagal na panahon din siguro siyang may kinikimkim.Pero imbis na pag-usapan iyon ay sinarili niya hanggang sa hindi niya na kinaya.Naging masahol ang ugali niya.

Nagtaasan ang balahibo ko ng tumawa siya ng malademonyo.Tiningnan ko siya at nakita ko ang pamumula sa kaniyang mata.Is he?

"Alam mo ba?Na ang taong iyon ang pumatay sa Mommy mo?Syempre hindi!!Kasi nagawa mo pang makipaglandian sa anak ng kabit niya!"

Doon sumabog ang galit ko.Bakit kailangan niyang isisi sa iba ang kasalanan niya?Hindi ba maatim ng konsensiya niya?

"No!You killed Mom!I hear you!I heard everything!"I shouted at the top of my lungs.Yes,I heard you!I heard my Mom's last scream!

Nakita ko ang gulat sa mukha ng taong nasa harap ko.Napatigil ako ng makita ang nasasaktan niyang mata.Unti-unti siyang lumayo.Ngunit hindi ako nakontento.Siguro sa tagal ng panahon na gusto ko siyang sumbatan ay naipon lahat sa loob ko.

"You murderer!I hate you!I hate you,Dad!You and your bitches!"Finally,after years I got to say that to him.

A lone tear trickle down his face.He smile sadly at me.

"Your mother..."and he look up at the ceiling andd continued."didn't even think of you when she did it."

He look at me."So...you think I killed my wife.The love of my life?"He said slowly.

"You love her?But you a***e her!"

He laughed but with no humour."I did?When did I ever hurt your mother?"

I couldn't believe it.For the first time after my mother's death he looks like the father I've grown up with.The one who gave me piggy back ride whe I'm exhausted from playing.The one who sent me off too school.I couldn't believe it.

To be continued...