Damned but mine

Chapter 3

MELANIE

Work was my only escape from home and school. When I arrived at the bar, someone thoughtfully held the door open for me. It was strange not to see Jake, the usual doorman, who was built like a tank. I had the afternoon shift, which wasn’t as busy as the night shifts; those must be hell for the night crew.

Working usually helped me forget my bad days, but goddamn, whoever was in charge of the music right now needs to seriously reconsider their playlist—it’s awful.

Checking the time, I saw it was already 3:36 PM— I was two hours late. However, no one seemed to care, especially since boss was rarely around. My shift was supposed to start at 1:30 PM, but Brielle often covered for me, making excuses because of my school

“You look tired, love,” Brielle remarked with a laugh as I slumped into my spot beside her behind the bar.

Brielle, five years my senior, should be in college by now, but she couldn't afford the tuition. Instead, she worked tirelessly here at the bar every single day.

“Want some?” she teased, flaunting a glass of wine she hadn’t even paid for. I reached out to take it, but she quickly brought it to her lips and gulped it down.

“Seriously?” I said, unamused.

She shrugged. “That’s what you get for being late,” she replied, and I rolled my eyes. “And besides,” she added with a sly grin, “you’re not of age, haha.” She chuckled in my ear as I nudged her away and got to work.

“So, how was your day? I’m guessing it was, hmm, messed up?” she asked. I was about to respond when I noticed her outfit. Brielle always favored revealing clothes, a style she somehow managed to pull off effortlessly. If I wore something like that, I'd feel completely out of place.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked, puzzled, glancing down at her clothes. I shook my head, assuring her it was nothing.

“Anyways, I hear the boss is looking for you.”

“Boss?!” I exclaimed in shock. He was rarely around, so why was he here today, and why was he asking for me?

Brielle shrugged. “He said you should come to his office as soon as you arrived. He probably wants to give you your pay for the month,” she repeated, shrugging again.

I sighed, wishing it were only about the pay.

“Hey, you! You can’t step on those!” Brielle shouted at a drunk man who was about to step on broken glass. “These f*****g old men never listen. I’ll be right back, Mel.” She hurried off, and I nodded, knowing she wouldn’t be back anytime soon.

I asked someone else to cover the bar and headed to boss’s office. Outside his door stood two bulky men. Ignoring them, I reached for the doorknob, but loud, irritating laughter from inside made me pause. I knew those high-pitched voices didn’t belong to him.

“f**k this,” I muttered, swinging the door open since no one bothered to knock around here.

Standing emotionless, I watched as everyone inside panicked, hastily covering themselves. The boss gestured for the ladies to leave, one of them crawling out from under his desk.

“You... you are late,” he stammered, clearing his throat and buttoning up his shirt. He stood and zipped his pants, laughing awkwardly. The ladies hurried out, clutching their clothes to keep them from falling off.

“Last I checked, no one really cares around here,” I replied, referencing his comment about my lateness. “Anyway, Brielle said you asked for me.”

“Why do you always sound so unamused? Live a little, it’s quite fun,” he laughed, but I remained expressionless. “Fine, I’ll be out of your hair,” he said, looking down at his desk and grabbing an envelope. He walked over to me, stopping just inches away, and handed it to me. “I figured you’d need more cash for school.”

When I first started working at the bar, I pretended to be of age, but he quickly found out I was a high schooler. He always had his employees followed and investigated because he didn’t trust anyone—not with the shady side jobs going on around here.

"Instead of giving you your pay in bits, here,”

I hesitated to take it because one of the cardinal rules of the street is never to trust anyone. Boss wasn't someone l'd trust with anything; he always seemed to have an ulterior motive. Nonetheless, I grabbed the envelope from his hand. I don’t give two f***s about any of those worries; I just need money.

"I have to go now. Brielle is waiting, and I'm sure she can't handle all the work alone." I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back to face him.

"Of course," he said, his weed breath hitting my face and making me stifle a gag. He slowly ran his hand down my cheek until it settled on my chin. I looked up at him, still as unamused as ever. "Pretty chin you have there. You know, I always tell my wife how I love girls with cleft chins. I have a soft spot for those," he said, his eyes fixed on my chin.

"That soft spot will change if you don't get your f*****g hand off my face," I retorted.

He quickly threw his hands in the air, pretending to surrender. Even though he was my boss, I gave him the same attitude I gave everyone.

He began to retract his steps back to his seat. "I like you, Mel," he said, pointing at me as he sat down and started swinging around in his chair. "Even though you're only a bartender and a young one at that, you're still very feisty."

I rolled my eyes subtly. "I'll take my leave then," I said and walked to the office door. I fiercely wiped my cheek and chin, trying to rid myself of the feeling of his touch as I exited.

Making my way back to the bar stand, I saw Brielle chatting with a man, seductively running her finger along his hand. She was good at this-entertaining men or women who wanted nothing more than to be with her. She was very beautiful, and it was easy to see why people were so captivated by her. As I got closer, she quickly told the man to leave, and he obliged, giving me her full attention.

"Was it your pay?" she asked as I joined her behind the bar.

"Yeah," I replied with a sigh.

"Don't tell me he did that again," she said, and I nodded.

"Very soon, I’ll have his hand cut off. Maybe then he’d lose the soft spot he has for girls with cleft chins," I hissed.

"Damn, girl! I’ve missed you," she laughed, bringing her lips close to mine, making me smile as I playfully pulled away. It was as if we didn't see each other every day.

Two hours later, my shift was over. Ready to leave, I looked for Brielle to say goodbye, but she was busy making extra cash dancing on the pole, entertaining guests. Deciding not to interrupt, I left silently.

The night shift always gave me the creeps; that’s when things got intense around here, and I didn’t have the energy for it.

***

Our godforsaken, torn couch was upside down, with shattered glass everywhere. I tiptoed through the chaos, puzzled by the scene. Papers were scattered all over the floor, and I picked one up, wondering if Mom was struggling with her writing again. I scrunched up the blank sheet and tossed it aside. The house was much messier than usual and eerily quiet—too quiet.

"Anyone home?" I shouted, still navigating through the mess. "Anyone alive?" I muttered, chuckling at my own dark joke.

"Melanie?" I heard my mom's voice from the kitchen. "Is that you?" She asked, her footsteps approaching.

"How.. how was work today?" she asked as she got closer. I squinted, furrowing my brows to make sure I wasn't seeing things, but then she looked down at the floor.

"It's nothing," she chuckled guiltily, gesturing towards her face.

"What the f**k do you mean 'nothing'?" I said, rushing towards her and grabbing her face by the chin to lift it. My eyes widened in shock at the sight of her swollen face and busted lips. "Who did this?" I demanded, rage bubbling up inside me.

Just then, I heard an irritating voice from behind me.

"Hey, Mel." I snapped my head towards the stairs at the sound of his footsteps. It was my mom’s boyfriend. He glanced at us but continued towards the kitchen without a care. When he reappeared, he was holding two bottles of beer. He walked past us, stepping on the broken glass without a second thought, and balanced himself on the other couch. Grabbing the remote, he switched on the TV.

"What happened to your face?" I asked, even though the answer was painfully obvious. It wasn't the first time I'd come home to see her like this, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

"It's nothing. Let’s just forget about it. How was your day? How was your first day back at school?" she asked, trying to change the topic.

"What the f**k happened to your face?" I shouted, not giving a damn about school right now.

"Woah, woah, kid!" he interjected. I turned my gaze to him, my eyes already bloodshot with fury. "Do you mind quieting down? You and your mom can take this elsewhere; I'm trying to watch an important match here."

Watching him laugh and gulp down his beer, my rage intensified. I wanted to hurt him, to make him suffer and scream in pain just like he did to my mom. Worse, I want to kill him.

"Melanie, no." My mom’s voice trembled with urgency. She must have sensed my intentions because she grabbed my arm to stop me, but I pushed her away.

"Was it you?" I asked, though the answer was obvious.

"What?" He took another gulp of his beer, feigning ignorance.

I clenched my fist so tightly that my nails dug into my palm. Biting down on my lower lip, I struggled to control my anger. "Was it you that did that s**t to her face?" I pointed at my mom, and he looked at her with a nonchalant expression.

He soon giggled. "Oh that, what if I did, kid?" He stood up from the couch and walked toward me until we were inches apart. He was much taller and bigger than me, but my lack of fear made me feel superior.

So help me God, because the ways I’m thinking of harming this man are unhealthy. "Why did you do it?" I asked, trying to calm every nerve in my body by asking what felt like a stupid question.

"Well," he said, bringing his pinky to his ear, "I was horny and she kept refusing. Do you know how much I put into this f*****g house? Our feeding? When I want it, she should always be available, not depriving me.” He shifts his gaze to my mum, practically undressing her with those eyes.

“You,” I chuckle trying to grab the situation as what I’m hearing is unbelievable. “You beat her up because you were f*****g horny?”

“Kid! Don’t you ever talk to me in that manner or you’ll be asking for your…”

Suddenly, I burst into laughter, cutting him off. He stopped in his tracks, furrowing his brows in confusion as he looked at me. I laughed hard for a good minute, tears streaming down my face from laughing so much.

"You think so?" I asked, still smiling.

He blinked rapidly. "I... I know so." He stuttered, probably thinking to himself, what kind of crazy girl is this?

I moved even closer to him, looking up, eye to eye. "You can’t do s**t," I whispered. "And you know why?" I moved even closer, my voice lowering. "If I wanted you dead, I would have done it a long time ago. Nice and clean, quiet without a sound. You’d probably be wandering in the afterlife wondering how you died." I said, emotionless, and watched as he gulped, blinking rapidly again.

"She may be soft," I pointed to my mom, "but don’t think for a second that I am." A smirk spread across my face as he tried to hide his fear but failed miserably.

I turned around to walk away when suddenly my mom grabbed my wrist. Without saying a word, I forcefully removed myself from her grip and made my way upstairs.

My room was in the attic; it was more comfortable there, away from the constant quarrels and beatings my mum receives from the crazy boyfriend she keeps clinging to. I quickly hopped onto my bed and pulled out a burger, fries, and a Coke from my bag. Ever since my mom's boyfriend moved in, I stopped eating with her. The attic was my sanctuary, a place where I could find some semblance of peace.

NICK

Staring at the clock on the wall, I sat behind my reading desk, tapping my feet nervously on the floor and unconsciously biting my nails. I quickly stopped when I realized what I was doing. The urge to check my i********: account was overwhelming. It had been weeks since I last logged in. Perhaps Rosé was hurting as much as I was and had sent me something on i********:?

Motivated by this thought, I left my seat and hopped onto my bed, grabbing my phone quickly and began logging in.

Now on my feed page, the first picture that popped up was her. Despite everything, she still managed to capture a smile. She was beautiful, as she always had been. Smiling widely, I swiped to the next picture, and my smile dropped as I saw her kissing a guy on his cheek. I sat up abruptly in bed.

“Who’s this?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowed as I enlarged the picture. It dawned on me that I hadn't even looked at the caption.

My jaw dropped suddenly at the sight of it. “Even though I haven’t known you for long, I’m so happy you came into my life at the right time."

“The f**k?” I cussed loudly as I rushed to the comments. Lots of people were in support, even some of my friends, I could tell from their usernames.

I chuckled, then laughed, then chuckled again, trying to convince myself otherwise, even though it was clear as day. I’m probably dreaming, and I need to wake up because what the f**k?

I saw his name tagged and went to his page to examine further. It was my first time seeing him “How come most of my friends know him? Did he join when I came here?” I asked myself.

I began going through all his pictures when suddenly I stopped. “What the f**k am I doing?” I thought to myself. Right now I looked stupid, really stupid.

Quickly, I left his page. As much as I wanted to log out and pretend I didn’t just see that, I still craved to check out her page. Maybe, just maybe, our picture was still there. I took a deep breath as I entered her page.

A page that once had countless pictures of us now had nothing of us, not a single picture of me again. There were lots of the football team, but I wasn’t in any, almost like I didn’t even exist in that world.

I rubbed my temples. “f**k!” I forcefully hit my fist on my bed. I was here, hoping I could make everything right, but it seemed like no one cared. The first week we moved here, I called, I texted, I left f*****g voicemails, but she didn’t even reply to any. At least we could have talked it out. Things could have gotten better, or we could have…

“f**k,” I muttered under my breath as I slowly calmed myself down.

I went to our chatroom and wanted to click on the call slot. I was tempted, desperate to hear her voice again, but I took it upon myself not to. Maybe she was finally in a good place, and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin her day, bringing up our quarrels and all.

*

The next morning, I wake up with a throbbing headache. I could say that’s what I get for lurking around Rosé and some of my friends' i********: pages, not eating much last night, and not getting enough rest.

Today is only my second day, and I’m already feeling awake and miserable. Staying in bed any longer would just make me stare at the ceiling and overthink everything, so I decided to keep myself busy instead.

It was only 6:01 AM when I was already ready for school–very unlike me. I made my bed, probably just to jump right back into it when school was over. Grabbing my bag, I exited my room.

Making my way downstairs, I could hear some movement coming from the kitchen. It was probably Mum since she likes waking up early and making sure I have something to eat before I go. I stopped midway at the kitchen door and watched her dance to a rhythm she was humming as she prepared something, not noticing me.

“Mum,” I said, my voice low, which she didn’t catch. “Mum!” I said louder this time, and she suddenly flinched, turning to me in a second.

“Oh my God! You scared me,” she said, breathing out as she held onto her chest.

“You’re up early,” she remarked, and just as she was about to return to what she was doing, she quickly turned to me again, eyes wide open. “You’re up early?!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said as I took a seat, understanding clearly what she meant. “I guess I don’t want to be late.” I shrugged, and her eyes widened. Even I couldn’t believe I just said that.

“That’s...that’s good,” she said, trying to sound excited but still very shocked. She walked up to me and placed her hand on my forehead, but I quickly removed it within seconds.

“Jeez, I’m fine,” I said.

“So...so nothing happened?” she asked, and my mind flashed back to everything I discovered yesterday, making me sigh tiredly.

I rubbed my temple, sighing again. “I said I’m fine,” I repeated, this time more seriously.

“Oh...okay,” she said, returning to what she was doing.

Soon, I glanced around and realized something. “Where is he?” I asked.

I saw my mum roll her eyes. “What do you mean by ‘he’? He’s your father, you know,” she said, and I could honestly care less.

“How long are both of you going to keep this up anyway?” she asked, looking at me with one hand leaning on the cabinet and the other resting on her waist. “Both of you are behaving so childishly. When he’s not around, you ask about him. When you’re not around, he asks about you. But when both of you are in the same place, finally seeing each other, it becomes hard for either of you to say a word. I know men love hiding their emotions, but in my house, there will be no cussing at each other. Am I clear?” she asked, her eyes directly on me. Not that I could keep to that, but I nodded anyway.

“And since you want to know about your father, he’s still asleep. He came back late from work last night,” she continued.

“Food is ready,” she said, walking towards me with a plate. “We’re having French toast,” she said with a smile as she placed the plate on the table. “Eat well, love,” she said, patting me gently on the shoulder.

I could finally go on my own without Mum insisting on dropping me off. Thanks to Diana showing me around a bit yesterday, I was able to prove to Mum that I knew my way around. Well, the bus driver did most of the work, but I was still seventy percent sure I could find my way alone.

Another day of loud chatter greeted me as I walked into the school. Suddenly, loud banging music echoed through every corner of the premises. I turned around to see a Ford truck driving in, capturing everyone’s attention. Minding my business, I began walking again when suddenly...

“Nick!” I heard my name over the loud music. The voice sounded so familiar. “West!” I heard my name again, and I turned around to see Frank waving from the same Ford truck.

Quickly, I turned back around, pretending as though I hadn’t seen him, and slid my hands calmly into my jean pockets. Soon, the music grew louder, assuring me the truck was right behind me. I sighed, knowing very soon I’d be...

“Nick.” I flinched a bit when I noticed the truck was now beside me. There were about six other guys on the truck, some of the same faces that had sat with me in the cafeteria. “You… You didn’t hear…”

“Hey man!” I said before he could finish his sentence, hitting him with a smile, and they all did the same.

“We’ll talk inside,” Frank shouted, and the guy I assumed was Thomas drove away at full speed.

Presently, inside the school building, I began taking out some books from my locker when I saw the football team approaching me.

“West!” Frank shouted, hitting me hard on my shoulder. I almost cussed out but smiled instead. And what’s with him always shouting my name? I’m not deaf.

“How you doing, man?” I asked.

“I’m good, man,” he replied, while his other friends went about their day, leaving just the two of us. “Diana said she dropped you at your place yesterday.”

I nodded, chuckling because that could be interpreted differently, but I didn’t care. “And how was practice?” I asked, knowing full well they didn’t have any.

He looked around as if checking to see if anyone was listening and gestured for me to come closer, which I did. “We ditched practice,” he said quietly and then laughed loudly at his own words. I followed suit, even though I found nothing funny about it, and I already knew.

“We had a little party at someone’s house. It’s our thing to have a guys' party on the first day of school. Cool, right?” He chuckled, and I nodded.

Suddenly, the bell rang, making me sigh in relief.

*

The class door flew open, causing everyone to turn suddenly. Standing in the doorway was that girl, one hand on the door and the other on her knee, panting loudly. It looked like she had tried to come on time but couldn’t quite make it.

With one hand still on the door and the other raised, commanding the class to wait, she soon stood tall, flipping her hair back with force. Clasping her hands together, she walked towards Mr. Eric, greeting him loudly with a dramatic bow. I stifled a laugh, unsure if she was making a scene on purpose. The unamused look on Mr. Eric's face made it worse; you could tell he was done.

“I must say, it’s so nice to see you after your math class, which just ended like,” he looked down at his watch, “yeah, ten minutes ago.”

“I… I can explain,” she stammered.

“What was the excuse yesterday?” Mr. Eric asked, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Oh yeah,” he smacked his forehead and chuckled, “how could I forget, it’s always family issues with you. It’s starting to seem like you see me as a fool.”

“I don’t…” she started to say.

“Melanie, I’m not in the mood for your made-up stories.”

“I don’t make up stories…”

“If I let you off again today, you’ll probably do the same tomorrow,” he said, cutting her off each time.

“I can ex…”

“Detention after school!” he finally declared. I thought as much.

“I don’t think that can work out. I have work after school. I can’t miss that.”

“To your seat, Melanie. I don’t care if you have…”

“It’s Mel,” she cut him off, earning gasps from the class while I couldn’t help but chuckle. She really doesn’t know how to read the room, does she?

“Did you just correct me while I’m scolding you?” he said, his face looking like it was about to explode.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”

“That is it, detention for one more hour and that is final.”

“But… But I can’t.”

“Get to your seat, Melanie, you’re disturbing the class.”

“I’m sorry for cutting you off, I swear it just slipped out, but I can’t have detention for two hours. I’ll lose my jobs and…”

“And what? You’re a student, you don’t need jobs,” Diana shouted from the crowd, and everyone mumbled in support.

“What?” Melanie said, her whole expression changing as she turned to Diana. She chuckled and finger-combed her hair back. “What did you just say?”

Diana cleared her throat. “You heard me right. Besides, get to your seat already. Like Mr. Eric says, you’re distracting the class.”

Melanie chuckled. “I’m a student, I don’t need work,” she repeated Diana’s exact words. “Easy for you to say. You’ve got mama and papa to hand you everything you need, no wonder you’re a f*****g spoiled brat.”

“Melanie!” Mr. Eric shouted. “I’m not going to stand here and allow you to insult someone.”

“Then she should keep her mouth shut. Do you think I want to work? I work for a f*****g reason,” she said, her words making the class go mute, even Mr. Eric. “Not everyone has it easy. Not everyone has parents who are rich and spend lavishly on their children. Not everyone gets to be happy going home. Some of us would prefer to be anywhere but home. Not everyone can wish for a better future. Not everyone can…”

“That’s enough, Melanie. You’ve done enough this morning,” Mr. Eric said. “And just so you know, detention for two hours for obstructing class, insults, and cussing, and that is final.”

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Whatever.” She began making her way to her seat, not even bothering to beg again.

“b***h,” Frank muttered in a low tone as she walked past him, clearing his throat. His word was heard by people around him, which made them stifle their laughter.

Melanie stopped in her tracks. “Call me a b***h one more time, and I swear to God, I’ll have your f*****g tongue cut off,” she warned him silently, not wanting to get the teacher’s attention.

“Why don’t you sit down as Mr. Eric instructed and shut the f**k up, b***h,” he said with a smirk.

Suddenly, I saw her left hand squeeze into a fist. “You f*****g asshole,” she shouted, delivering a solid punch to his face, nearly making his head rotate. The whole class gasped in surprise, even I was shocked. She almost rushed at him again when other guys quickly stood up and grabbed her, holding her tightly. I stifled my laugh because the look on Frank’s face right now was hilarious; he looked like someone who was about to soil himself. This is why it’s not good to mess with just anyone.

“Melanie!” Mr. Eric shouted, panicking as he made his way towards the scene. He grabbed Frank’s face, noting that his lip was now busted. “My goodness! You boys should take her to the principal’s office. I can’t handle you right now.” He pointed to the door, and quickly they began dragging her out of the class.

“Please, we need to take you to the infirmary was the last thing the teacher said while he escorted Frank, with some other students following behind too, including Diana and the football team.

I’m just excited class has been disrupted again, all thanks to the same person.