Scarred by Moonlight

Chapter 9: Tears and Tequila

The silk pajamas felt strange against River’s skin. Soft and luxurious, they were a far cry from the well-worn cotton concert shirts she usually slept in. Estella had insisted on them—peachy pink and elegant, tailored perfectly to each of their bodies. The Bloody Crescent’s Gamma female was nothing if not excessive and a consummate perfectionist, and River could almost admire the confidence with which she dictated their “girls’ night aesthetic.”

Estella sat cross-legged on her bed, this being her private “Goddess Room” on the Gamma’s floor. Everything was pink, with hints of gold and ivory. It was hell for anyone but a girly girl like Estella, but for some reason, River had always felt warm and safe here. It was the kind of space where problems seemed distant, even if they never really disappeared.

Of course, Estella’s phone was glued to her hand, fingers flying as she texted Grayson with a private smile. No idea how she got the man to agree to be away from him for an entire night, but knowing Estella, she’d be sneaking out later to see him.

Ashley, sprawled across the mountain of decorative pillows, was elbow-deep in a bag of chips, crunching loudly as her dreadlocks fell into her face. She too was texting, but her face remained a neutral mask. Ashley was always the queen of hiding her emotions behind a smile and a joke, a skill River couldn’t help but envy.

Meanwhile, River sat quietly by the window, staring out into the darkening sky. The buttery popcorn in her lap remained untouched. Her mind was on the scent of cedar, the rumble that reverberated through her soul, and a set of emerald eyes that pierced through every wall she’d built around herself. Her body still ached for him. She clenched her thighs, trying to banish the feeling.

What did the kiss even mean to him? Did it mean anything at all?

“You’ve been weird all day,” Ashley said suddenly, tossing a pillow at River. It hit her square in the chest. “What’s up with you? You look like you just found out Santa Claus isn’t real.”

River glanced over at her friend, guilt gnawing at her. She knew she was dragging the energy of the room down. “I’m fine. Sorry.”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Booo! You’re a terrible liar. Spit it out.”

“Yeah,” Estella chimed in, looking up from her phone. “We’re supposed to be bonding, not sulking. So, what gives, mami?”

For a moment, River hesitated. She’d spent the entire day replaying that kiss in her head, trying to make sense of it—of him. But there was no sense to be made. Olrun had kissed her with a fire that burned through every wall she’d built, only to pull away and leave her shivering in the cold. Her mate. Her alpha. And yet, she felt nothing but confusion.

She looked at her friends, their curious gazes pinning her in place. Would they understand?

“It’s the alpha. Olrun,” she said finally, her voice quieter than she intended.

Ashley froze mid-bite, leaning forward. “Olrun? What about him?”

River swallowed hard, staring at her hands. “He kissed me.” Her voice cracked, and she felt her cheeks flush with shame. Why did it feel like she was confessing a crime?

The room went utterly silent. Ashley’s jaw dropped, crumbs scattering onto the blanket, while Estella dropped her phone onto the plush carpet with a loud thunk.

“He what?” Estella exclaimed, leaning forward as though she hadn’t heard correctly.

“He kissed me,” River repeated, the words tasting both sweet and bitter on her tongue. “And then… he walked away. Like it didn’t mean anything.”

“Oh, my goddess,” Ashley muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. “Olrun Blackfyre? Kissed you? Wait... did it mean something? Are y'all sneaking and freaking?”

“Like, full-on kissed you?” Estella asked, her voice rising.

“Yes,” River snapped, her emotions suddenly overwhelming her. “We’re... I think... we’re mates. But he doesn’t act like it.” Her voice cracked further as she lowered her head, tears threatening to spill. “And it felt… perfect. It felt like the bond. And then he just—just left.”

Estella’s face softened. “Oh, River,” she whispered, but before she could say more, Ashley blurted out, “I’m sleeping with Beta Ryker.”

The confession hit River like a slap, momentarily snapping her out of her turmoil. “b***h, what?”

Ashley’s cheeks flushed, but she pressed on. “I know it’s stupid, okay? But, on theme with tonight’s fuckery, we’re mates.” She pushed her dreads back with an annoyed huff. “I know he’s sleeping with other women, but when we’re together… he’s so sweet. He makes me feel like I’m the only one that matters.”

Estella groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Ashley, no. You’re better than this. Being some beta’s humping post, mate or not, is not behavior we are letting leave this room.”

Ashley rolled her eyes, “It’s not just s*x, Stella. When he's with me, I see a whole other side of him. A part that’s reserved just for me. Besides, what happened to women supporting women?”

Estella deadpanned, “Never in stupidity, Ash. If he really loved you, I mean truly loved you, he would show the world. Not just the four walls of his funky beta penthouse.”

River, still reeling from her own heartbreak, felt anger bubbling to the surface. “Ash, you are better than this. You’re worth so much more than being someone’s backup plan.”

Ashley flinched but didn’t argue, her gaze dropping to the half-empty bag of chips. “It’s not that simple, River. You don’t understand—”

“I understand perfectly,” River interrupted, her voice sharp. “I understand what it feels like to want someone so badly, you’re willing to settle for scraps of affection. But that’s not love, Ashley. Love isn’t supposed to hurt. And it’s not what you deserve.”

Ashley’s eyes glistened, but she didn’t look away.

“You’re not wrong,” Estella said, her tone unusually serious. “Mates are supposed to fight for us, not make us feel like we have to fight for their attention. Ryker doesn’t deserve you, Ash—not the way he’s acting now.”

Ashley sighed, swiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “He’s not all bad, you know. When he’s with me, he’s… different. He’s kind.”

River softened, her voice gentler now. “Then make him be that person in public. Don’t let him take you for granted. He has to earn you, Ash. Promise me you’ll make him earn you.”

Ashley hesitated, her lip trembling, but finally she nodded. “Okay. I promise.”

The tension in the room eased slightly, though the air still felt heavy. Estella clapped her hands together, breaking the somber mood. “Well, that’s enough of that. Someone plug in the damn mixer. We need margaritas after all this damn boy drama!” She began cursing in Spanish as she opened her nightstand drawer.

River couldn’t help but smile faintly as she watched Estella pull tequila from her nightstand. Despite the chaos, there was comfort in their sisterhood—a reminder that even if the men in their lives failed them, their friendship would always be a crutch to lean on.