Chapter 21Those first days were strained and difficult. The pleasure of Joy's company was contradicted by the tense pain of Lu Sin's illness and anger. I was torn between them, between the return of the intense longing that had accompanied Joy's presence since that first moment when I saw her in her mother's arms and the desire to comfort and console my friend and companion. Joy was forced to accept her new surroundings, her new place in the world, and our darkened schedule. She hadn't yet recovered from the shock of her parent's passing, a fact I discovered only nights after her arrival when I heard her sobbing quietly into her pillow. In that moment I knew my downfall, my error in judgment in bringing her to that place of solitude. I had come to terms with the old desire I bore for Lu Si
