The Last Letter

28

Chapter XXVIII

As usual, mom was sleeping on the couch in front of the tv as we made our way inside. Ben told me not to wake her up and he’ll just give the flowers and chocolates to her later. Ben tiptoed up to my bedroom, while I refrigerated the chocolates making sure I wasn’t making any noise.

We put our things at my study table and then he went to lay on my bed. While me, the owner of the bed opened my window completely and dragged a chair to sit there.

“So where are we again?” I asked.

“At your room joke. How will I give those to Suzanne?” He said pointing at the Valentine stuff.

“Hmm…” We are both thinking about the way Ben could give those things to Suzanne without getting the idea that Ben still likes her. Looking at those chocolates and flowers he brought, they look very personal and made with so much effort.

“Those Chocolates and flowers seem to be the main problem here. They look very… personal?” I said awkwardly.

He released a discouraged sigh.

“I know. I overworked it. I was so happy when I made that, not thinking of what she could possibly think when I gave her those. I just realized when I was done making it.”

“Yes. I actually also do not know about this kind of thing. Why do we not have any female friends aside from Suzanne? Life would be easier if we have one.” I said and leaned my back on the wall beside the window.

“I tried asking Racquel but she wouldn’t take me seriously.”

Racquel is Ben’s younger sister, the one who’s born 2 years after him. Out of all Ben’s siblings, she’s the only one I’m not close with. She is just like her mom, very formal and lady-like, I can’t seem to joke around with her.

“I suggest giving only one flower. The prettiest in that cluster.” I said.

“Really?” He looked at me frustrated.

“That’s what I suggest. If I were Suzanne, I'd be so suspicious when you’ll give that whole bouquet of flowers.”

“But I want to give all of that.” He insisted.

“I just suggested that Ben. You don’t have to do what I said. Give all of it to her then, just make sure she won’t be uncomfortable.”

He just buried his face on my pillow and screamed his frustration.

“Hey! That’s my pillow!”

After thinking about something I don't know about, Ben fell asleep in my bed while I took a nap at my study table. We woke up at about 5:30pm, the sun had already set and the sky was turning dark outside.

In the end, I decided to just stay home and not attend the live band session at the university since I felt lazy to leave the house. While Ben is still here like it is his own home. The four of us, including mom and dad, are having conversations at the dining table. Just some everyday stories and stuff about Ben’s current happenings in his house.

Mom was so happy for Suzanne and Ben’s gifts for Valentine’s day and I also gave her all the chocolates I received, including the one Suzanne gave. I gave it a taste and it kinda tastes like the ones she gave me earlier at the university but this one is much sweeter so I only had about 3 bites.

Ben spent so much time here. He left at 9pm to meet with Suzanne. In the end, he followed my advice to give just one flower. The rest of the flowers, he said, he will give to aunt (his mom), later.

My Valentine’s day ended just like that, just normal and nothing too fancy.

Benjamin’s POV

A special day for a special someone.

After I left August’s house, I went straight to the city, in the bistro where Suzanne works. I really wished I could give all those flowers to Suzanne but I’ll follow Master August’s advice for now. I also wish I could tell her that I still have the same feelings for the last two years. But I know I can’t do that. Not now, but soon when the timing is right.

This is the first time I prepared something like this on Valentine's day. Usually… screw that, every year, I don’t really care and cringe so hard whenever I turn my page in the calendar and it is February 14th already.

As the routine every year follows, I go to school/university to hangout with my friends, get chocolates from people I don’t even know, go home then sleep. Then Valentine's day is over.

But now that I have someone in my heart, I realized how this day is becoming more and more special as we love. The day you exert effort to profess and show your love to someone special. Be it your family, your friends or your significant other.

I started to appreciate the people who give me chocolates every year, making sure to thank them wholeheartedly. Since I am about to do it tonight, I may finally be able to know how they feel.

It was the exact time when I reached the bistro. Although the restaurant is still open, her shift ended so she was just about to go home when I saw her.

She dresses so simple but still looks stunning. She doesn’t even wear makeup but she looks the most beautiful in my eyes. She had a hard time in life but she’s resilient. She faced so much struggles but she remained strong, hardworking and optimistic. She’s the closest to the ideal woman I ever want to marry. I promised myself that I won’t even look at any woman, my eyes are all for her.

I thank dad that he told me about the restaurant. If not for him, maybe I won’t ever encounter Suzanne.

She was walking towards me but her head was looking down. When she finally raised her head, I waved my hand above my head. She smiled and waved her hand back. That smile, the prettiest I’ve ever seen that it made my heart race upon looking at those.

She came running towards me, as if we were in a movie. “Benjamin!” She exclaimed as she stood in front of me.

“Happy Valentine’s day Suzanne!” I said with a smile and handed the flower and chocolates I made and poured my heart into.

Before accepting my gift, she got something in her bag. A box of chocolates too, same as what August and his mom received. She handed it to me, with a small note that said “Happy Hearts Day!”.

“This flower is so pretty. Thank you so much Benjamin. I really appreciate this.” She smiled again. How could she smile like that in front of me? I might melt on the ground because of those.

“It’s my pleasure.” I replied.

We walked down the alley, and I am leading her to the car right now without her knowing.

“Where were you these past few days? I haven’t seen you in a while so I was close to giving up handing the chocolates to you.” She asked as we walked slowly.

“Oh I have to spend time at the gym. There will be a sports event so I’m preparing myself physically to participate even though it hasn't been confirmed yet that I’ll be one of the participants.” I answered.

“I’m sure you’ll be accepted since you’ve proven yourself that you are a great athlete. Goodluck on your journey, I know you can do it!” She stopped in front of me and gave me a high five.

She continued to walk but I stared at my hand that she just high fived just a while ago. I them walked and matched her pace.

“Do you know that only you and August cheers me like that?”

“What really? How about your family? Aren’t they so supportive of you?” She asked.

“It is quite complicated. I’ll tell the details later but what I said is true. So thanks to you too for cheering me up. I really need that, especially these days.”

“If you ever need encouraging words, me and August are always here for you, you should keep that in mind. We’ll cheer for you always so keep your head up! You’ll be one of the greatest athletes ever!” I felt my throat as if being tied in a knot. I also feel my eyes getting teary so I blinked a lot of times.

“Thank you.” I said when I got to finally say a word.

“No problem. You are my friend Benjamin, much like a best friend and you’ve done so much for me. I am now left all alone and sometimes, I don't even have someone to talk to. And everytime I look outside, there you are, as if you predicted that I’ll be lonely. This is the only way I could repay you. To be there at your troubled times, cheering and supporting you as you venture in your milestones.”

Lord, thank you for bringing her into my life. I know and I’m aware that I’ve been a bad son, brother and a friend, lying, being disobedient, being jealous of my friend, I had done so many things that people least expected me to do.

I am not a religious type of person but I believe in God. As I grew older and older, I’ve become hopeless and questioned everything. I never suffered in life as much as Suzanne had, but she always sees the bright side of life while I stood in the dark even though I have almost everything in life. A family, friends, money, luxury and more but why does my heart still feel empty?

If there is one thing I could wish for, I wish I could be the one for Suzanne. I wish Suzanne is the one who could fill the void in my heart.