The Last Letter

12

Chapter XII

Living alone at my grandma’s house made me look back on so many memories of her. When she wakes up, she will prepare for our breakfast. After that, she would wake me up and make me prepare for school. Those simple things seemed bittersweet now and that made my heart break upon realizing that I won’t see her ever again.

But for her, I’ll continue to be strong. Just like how she and grandpa gave me hope, I’ll carry on to this life so she would be proud of me.

“Thank you sir. Come again.” I said cheerfully as I handed the change to a customer.

It is 9 pm now and I am finished for my shift today so I rushed to our mini locker room to change my clothes. It is past the new year season so the small restaurant I work in is a little busy.

I am now in my first year in college at a well known university located in town not far from where I work. I take architecture as my course since that was my dream and my grandparents’ dream for me.

I also live in the dormitory near the university. It is shared with two other roommates so it is quite cheap and I could afford it with my monthly salary.

My two other roommates were best friends and are in the engineering department but they were nice and they didn't make me feel out of place. I had a good time settling in the place since they help me out so much.

Another thing I am grateful for is that the university is just across the street so I could wake up in an hour or 30 minutes and go straight to school after preparing. I manage my time well so I don’t get sleep deprived.

Grandpa immediately sold our house as soon as I settled in the dormitory. He also bought me a new bike so that I won’t have a hard time travelling from my work in the city to the university in the town. With my bike, I could get from my work in just about 15 minutes and forth to the dorm. Grandpa offered to help me with my allowance but I firmly refused and told him I got this and just use the money to buy what he wants and make himself healthier. I can’t take it anymore if I’ll also lose my grandpa.

I’m not that worried about where my grandpa lives now because it was such a nice place. I visited him last month and to my astonishment, it was inside a mango orchard his son owns. Sometimes, he works there with other farmers he befriended. It was nice to see my grandpa smile and be talkative again after all the unfortunate things that happened in my family. It was such a good decision to bring him here because if we still live together, I might’ve been unable to take care of him because of my studies and work.

The air is fresh and cool and now he eats vegetables and fruits they planted in their mini backyard. Dion, my foster brother and his wife, takes really good care of grandpa, making sure he doesn’t overwork and still gets his regular check ups.

No matter how busy I am, I always make sure to have time to visit grandpa.

It was hard to adjust to a new environment but thankfully, I’m in the same university and same class with some of my closest friends in high school. The professors are surely different from those in lower grades, they are far more strict and scary. But some of them are chill, telling us to just pass our requirements and life will be much easier for us.

At first, it was also hard to do both studies and work since I got much busier now that I’m in college. Almost everyday, there is homeworks and quizzes or exams to prepare for the next day. Fortunately, my boss is kind enough to let me study if the restaurant is not that busy and she also gives me break times.

The restaurant is much more active at night because the city at night is much livelier than in the day. We close by midnight but my boss lets me finish my shift by 9 or 10pm because she worries that I only ride my bicycle to get to the dorm. But I always assure her that it is safe in the town as all my years here, I haven’t gotten in an accident or trouble or anything. She was really concerned for me because she has a daughter the same age as mine.

As I ride my bicycle to the university, I can’t help but admire the night sky. The sky is so clear and the stars are showing up and shining brightly. When I get stressed or get sad, I do this as my therapy. It is free and works just well. I always think that my grandma is one of those stars that shines especially brighter for me.

The next morning, it was Friday. And as usual, it is the same routine as everyday. Going to school then to work but Fridays are especially busy since it is the weekend after. Most of the time, it was students who gather around to party because it’s the weekend anyways.

On Fridays and Saturdays, I could extend my shift to midnight and get overtime pay. On Sundays, my boss only lets me work from 10 am to 3 pm because she said I have to use that time of the week for rest and study. Seriously, I have the best boss everybody could ever wish for.

It was just 7 pm now when the wind chimes suddenly rang, indicating that there is a customer entering. I looked from the back of the counter and saw…

Benjamin.

We locked eyes for a couple of seconds before I turned my eyes against him. You could see we were both shocked to see each other after a long time. I could feel my heart beating so fast that my head ached.

I could still feel his eyes staring at me so I rushed to the kitchen and politely asked my coworker to take his order. I held my chest and breathed deeply to calm my nerves. I took a small glimpse from the kitchen window and there he was, sitting on the single table at the right corner of the room.

His seat is facing against me so he can’t see me now and I felt my heart beating normally again.

He changed physically. I could tell he lost a lot of weight and he seemed sad. I’m wondering, is it because of me? I shook my head, that would be impossible, I thought. I haven’t seen him for a year, his feelings would have changed by now, right?

I went back to the counter, not looking in his direction. There were many customers that I served so I managed to be distracted for a while. But after about 20 minutes, when I finally had the courage to look at him, he wasn’t there anymore.

I went by his seat to clear the table when I found a tissue with a note that says “It was nice to see you again, I hope you’re doing great :)”

I smiled.

This is also the way he approached me when we first met almost 2 years ago.

To be honest, it made me feel relieved because I considered Benjamin as a good friend and I thought I lost him when I left without saying anything. I am grateful that I feel that he’s still the same Benjamin I know. But I am still concerned as to why he lost so much weight and seemed blue.

After that day, Benjamin eats in the restaurant from time to time but he didn’t talk or look at me even once. He even bought his friends one time and I was so embarrassed when I felt like he and his friends were talking about me. I think that was our first time I got the courage to walk close to Benjamin after a year.

It’s also nice to see he’s still best friends with August. Even though I don’t know August personally, I heard so many stories about him from Benjamin and in the university where he’s quite popular. He’s my senior in my department so in a few days, we’ll surely meet in the ceremony for us, freshmen.

As Benjamin visits, I was happy to see him improving physically, it puts me at ease.

Sometimes, he leaves notes on his table with the words “thank you” or “have a nice day” and it is always me who cleans his table to read those notes. But I can’t bring myself to serve him even after all this time.

I think we both understand we need space but I wish that sooner or later, I can talk to him again the same as how we did before.