The Last Letter

37

Chapter XXXVII

Fortunately, Suzanne was alright.

That Saturday morning after the day of the incident, I got a message from our team leader saying that Suzanne is fine and her injuries were not severe at all. She just needs to take some more rest. That was the only thing the professor said so that was also the only update I got from her.

Ben also said that Suzanne wasn’t in the dormitory that day he went by. I assume she is still in the village or in the hospital. I tried to message her a couple of times but she wasn’t replying at all. Even a single letter reply was all the message I was waiting for. It’s making me so anxious that she was really mad at me because I left her in the village all by herself.

I also tried to go to her workplace but her coworkers said that she’s still on leave. I also got to talk to her boss and she said that Suzanne contacted her yesterday to ask to extend her leave because she got into some important matter. Suzanne didn’t tell her any details so I still remained clueless for the rest of the weekend.

I was a little hurt that her pager was on all this time but she hasn’t replied to any of my messages. But on the brighter side, I’m just really happy to know that she’s okay, that is all that matters.

Then the weekend passed with so much unending anxiety and uncertainty.

For this monday, we are just supposed to meet and discuss with our teammates for the whole day, except that we will still follow the schedule for minor subjects. Actually, today up to Wednesday, for the whole day, we just are supposed to work on our project proposal because as I have said, that will be our midterm examination. I really hope I can finally see and talk to Suzanne today.

I was running late that day because it was raining so hard. Since I have learned from the past, every rainy day, I only walk to the university or if dad is in a good mood, he’ll drop me off nearby the university. But now is not that day, dad was still sleeping so I had to walk. Mom was worried but I assure her every time that I’ll take good care of myself especially when I am on the road.

Just before walking into the assigned classroom for my team, I already hear so much noise inside. To my surprise, just as I entered the room we are assigned in, people were circling around Suzanne. She was facing her back on the entrance so she hadn’t seen me yet. I feel my heart beating faster and faster as I take steps forward.

I walked to her and tapped her shoulder lightly. She looked up to who it was but then when she saw it was me… her smile faded.

“Hello…” I said awkwardly and waved my hand at her.

She then stood up and bowed at me, something that I unexpectedly thought she’d do. It felt like I was just a stranger to her for the very first time. So with that, I bowed to her too and timidly made my way to an empty seat on the back without looking at her. I felt my throat tighten so I drank from my tumbler.

They then proceed to chat again while I was just at the back staring at the sky from the window. Inside, I was feeling guilty and disappointed from the way she acted a while ago. It looks like she is really mad at me. I can’t blame her though.

In the first 5 hours, the meeting went by really well. Everyone participated actively, including Suzanne. Our team decided to go on with turning the village into a huge resort and theme park. Although that may seem hard to make as a miniature model, we think we have a higher chance of getting into the 2nd round of the competition if we do that.

We all had lunch with each other. I seemed to get close with my teammates but I feel like I grew so apart with Suzanne. It was so hard to not talk to her when we were just sitting very close to each other. She also was quieter than usual, looking like she’s thinking of something deep every time I take a glance at her.

During that awkward lunch time, or at the very least I am the only one feeling awkward, I asked for permission if I could take a walk outside to digest the meal we just had. I stepped outside and walked to my favorite part of the university, the field. Since it was lunch time, many students were gathered here eating their packed lunch or meals they bought outside.

It was like the first and only time I ever felt lonely even if Suzanne was just a few seats away from me. Since I don’t want to show to my teammates that I was actually not in the good mood, I just chose to step outside. In that way, I might bump into Ben or any of my close friends and ease this feeling of solitude growing inside me.

I sat by my favorite spot, where I could see the hill where my neighborhood is.

I took a deep breath and just let the cool breeze touch my face. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath again. All I could think of is Suzanne. What am I supposed to do?

“Are the two of you in a fight? Like a lover’s quarrel?” Out of nowhere, I heard the team leader’s voice at my back. She sat beside me but still maintained a distance between us.

“What? No. It’s not like that. And we were not lovers.” I chuckled while looking down at… grass?

“Really? You two were always together. Everyone could think the same way as I do upon seeing you both, being so close and thoughtful.” She said then smirked.

“Nothing’s really going on between us Ms. Leader. We’re friends, that’s just what it is.”

“Okay, if you say so. By the way, do you know what happened to her now? She told us everything about it a while ago. And then when you entered the room and did that awkward wave and everything, she stopped.” She paused and sighed. “Do you want me to tell you what she said instead of messaging me about an update every hour?”

“No, but thank you Ms.Leader. By the way, thank you for always responding to my messages. I guess I’ll just wait for her to open up to me about it.” I answered.

“Okay, I have no problems with that. And don’t call me Ms. Leader, my name is Claire.” She stood up and shook off the dirt in her pants from sitting down in the grass.

“I know Ms. Claire Venzon.” I chuckled.

“Okay Mr. Nice Guy. Don’t get so emotional and cry here, let’s go to the room and start earlier with the modelling. A simple advice, guys normally do the first move to apologize in a lover's quarrel. Go talk to her if you can’t take the loneliness anymore.” She raised her thumbs up and looked at me with her eyebrows arched and wearing an awkward smile. She then turned away and started walking to the building.

I looked at the view in front of me for one more time and took a deep breath before standing up.

Maybe Claire is right. Maybe I should talk to her first and apologize for leaving her alone that day. And maybe she’ll talk to me the same way again.

***

The modelling was of course, a lot of work even though we have a set of 30 hands.

Well, just 28 hands or 14 people only are functioning well.

Since Suzanne’s hands are wounded really badly, we exempted her from doing this even if she wanted to be of any help. With that, she only assists in handling everything we need.

At 3pm, she asked Claire for permission if she can go now since she has a part time job. Claire looked at me and I answered her with a confused face. Now that I think of it, Claire acts as if we are close when we barely talk to each other.

Claire sighed and put on a smile in front of Suzanne afterwards.

“Of course Suzanne, you can go now, we can do this but tomorrow, we will double time. Make sure to stay safe and may I ask how you will work when your hands are wounded?” Claire asked Suzanne.

“Thank you Leader. Uhm, my boss told me I can only work on the counter for a couple of days. These wounds will heal in no time anyway.” Suzanne answered and smiled at her.

“Ohh okay okay. You should go now. Will you be okay by yourself? Do you want someone to accompany you to where you work?” Claire asked again.

I turned my eyes away from them just in case Claire looks at me again. Suzanne might notice that we exchange glances and misunderstand it.

“No, I’ll be okay. Thank you for worrying. See you tomorrow, Ms. Claire.” I heard Suzanne replied and I heard footsteps leading to the door. As I hear the door closing, I immediately turn my head to Claire. She looked at me too, shrug her shoulders and mouthed the words “you missed your chance.”

I sighed and just paid my attention to cutting whatever this is that they said I need to cut. I looked out the window and the sky was so clear and blue. How beautiful it is but I can’t seem to appreciate it today.

Maybe I’ll talk to her tomorrow or page her a message tonight, this awkwardness shouldn’t continue for longer. I need to fix what’s making us apart as soon as possible.

To be continued…