The Last Letter

15

Chapter XV

Benjamin’s POV

The words August said to me are stuck in my head. I’m still at the bench where he and I talked. What he told me earlier about Suzanne’s grandma is not fully sinking in my mind.

I wish she could’ve told me that so I could cheer her up in those lonely times. But it all completely makes sense now. Why she left, why the restaurant closed and why I haven’t seen her in a year.

Maybe August is right. Maybe it’s time that I should talk to her and catch up.

But not gonna lie, I was a little jealous earlier when I saw her with August and she even told him first about that unfortunate news. As much as I could, I want to prevent myself from being so jealous of all the guys Suzanne talks to because that is so foolish. For Pete’s sake Benjamin, August is your friend!

On the bright side, I’m happy that she’s making friends now and I think she’s doing great despite having to go through all that last year.

She’s indeed a really wonderful woman.

I just wish we could still talk to each other casually, just like the way we spoke before. I wish we could laugh the same way she laughs with August earlier and she and I are just being casual just like a year ago.

Now that I’m thinking of it, my timing is completely messed up. I should’ve kept all my feelings from her and just remained as good friends. I should’ve waited for the right time since I have all the time in the world to slowly, but surely make my feelings clear as we spend time with each other.

Tonight, I plan to eat at the restaurant she works at. And I hope I can speak to her finally.

After all that lecture I got from my friend August, I think I’m slowly coming to my senses now. He’s right that I should go talk to Suzanne first to let her know I’m still her friend despite all that. She may think that the reason I haven’t talked to her even if we see each other at the restaurant is maybe because of her rejection of me.

I didn't really mind being rejected that time even though I admit, it hurts until now. I think I just expected all of that to happen since we are still young and determined to reach her goal. The way she avoided me when she told me that we could still be friends, hurted me more than her rejection.

I finally stood up from my seat maybe after 30 minutes of just thinking and dozing off. I walked to the parking lot and hopped onto my car and drove home first. I don’t want to go to the restaurant still wearing my uniform and I think I should dress a little nicer to look presentable for our first words after a year.

***

When I reached home, I noticed unfamiliar cars parked outside our gate. Mom didn’t tell me about having visitors today.

Now I’m having second thoughts if I should head inside or just head straight to Suzanne.

The cars looked expensive so maybe they are my dad’s business partners or his friends in politics. Whoever they are, I don’t want them to see me and I don’t want to see them.

After minutes of contemplating, I decided to still head inside but just use the back door leading to the kitchen even though I possibly could be seen from our living room. That’s a much better option rather than entering at the main door.

I tiptoed my way to the backdoor and made sure I wouldn't make any sound.

Thankfully, my dogs didn’t bark and just wagged their tails when they saw me so I didn’t lose my cover and successfully reached the back door. From outside, I could hear my dad laughing along with his friends.

As soon as I quietly opened the door, I saw my mom in the kitchen preparing coffee and snacks for my dad’s guests. She saw me and I signalled her to not talk to which she understood quickly. She knows how I hate visitors, especially when it is my dad’s.

I tiptoed from the kitchen but I needed to pass by a 3-meter gap in the living room in order to reach the staircase. My dad's seat is not facing me but his friends could definitely see me when I pass through there.

I could see my dad's friends that were unfamiliar to me. Maybe they are his business partners since they look like high profiled people.

They are even wearing suits.

I took a deep breath and started walking naturally through the gap.

“Oh is that Benjamin!”

“Really? Is he home? Benjamin! Come here!” I heard my dad call my name in the living room so I sighed. I walked backward and on to the living room to greet them at the very least so I wouldn’t be called disrespectful by my dad.

My dad stood up and introduced me to his friends.

“This is my son, Benjamin. If you are a fan of sports, you will probably know him. He competes in national competitions!”

It’s common for me to see dad acting like this as he’s only happy in front of guests or his friends but is actually always silent when he’s only with us, his family. He also brags a lot about me when he has a chance. That's why I don’t like it when we have visitors in our house.

I smiled awkwardly and shook hands with my dad’s guests just to show my respect.

“Fix yourself and help your mom in the kitchen. We’ll have dinner with my friends later.” Dad whispered to me.

Even if I had plans for this night, I just nodded as I don’t want to spoil this night for my dad. As much as I don’t want to, I guess I’ll just reschedule my plans for Suzanne on another day. For now, I’ll help mom to prepare for dinner tonight.

***

At about 6:30 pm, mom finished cooking and along with my sisters, we finished setting up the two tables we adjoined together in order to fit us family and the guest.

My dad brought out his most precious wine he fermented himself. This could mean that they are extremely important guests or friends of my dad.

We changed into formal clothes in front of the table. They complimented my mom’s cooking, saying that we should start a business in the food industry so that my mom’s talent won’t go to waste. As usual, dad brags too much.

I could see my younger sisters being uncomfortable and eating just a little. I smiled at them and gave them a sign to eat more.

They talked and laughed while the rest of us, the family members, were quiet, and sometimes, would laugh even though we couldn’t understand what they were talking about.

“So Benjamin, how is your school and sports career going?”

I almost jumped out of my seat when I suddenly heard my name. I felt that all of the eyes were now on me, including my dad’s.

“It’s going well sir.” I said and smiled at them awkwardly at my dad’s friend.

“Very nice. It’s just a shame that you took a different path. You could become a good politician or a businessman. You could’ve taken the same steps as your dad.” He replied.

“I know right. He became stubborn as he grew up. As if physical education can take him to places. It would be even better if he took medicine, like my eldest son, Alexis” Said none other than my own dad.

“Well Alexis, even when he was still a kid, I sensed he will make it big in the future.”

“I know I know. He was such a bright and nice kid. He didn’t even defy me when he was Benjamin's age.” Dad said.

“Don’t worry John. Benjamin could become a very famous athlete. You’ll never know. And when that happens, he’ll become the pride and honor of our city.” Another one of his friends chimed in to the conversation.

“Maybe. How I wish that would be the case.” Dad replied and changed the topic to something more up in their alley.

I stopped and laid my utensils even though I was not finished eating yet. I pressed my lips together very hard as I felt my joint becoming stiff, not because of the cold but because of the anxiety and humiliation I am experiencing now.

I snapped back to myself when I felt my mom’s warm hand pressing my hand under the table.

Ever thought I am used to dad comparing me to my brother. But I guess I’m still not.

After eating, at about 8pm they decided to go home for the day. Dad was evidently happy until just when they left but completely changed his expression to serious again when they are finally gone.

My sisters and I helped mom in cleaning the tables but we were all in shock when we heard something fall and break. I was on the sink that time so I rushed to see what caused that sound.

I saw my 10 year old sister shedding tears as she stared at the broken pieces of glass on the ground.

It was my dad’s precious wine.

My sister told me while in tears that it was slippery so she dropped it. She also had multiple small cuts on her finger as she attempted to pick up the sharp shards of glass all around the dining floor.

Mom also rushed to where we were and she was so shocked to see what happened.

Not far, we heard sets of footsteps approaching the dining area.

Dad was in an outrage when he rushed to see the broken glasses on the floor to which he knew right away that it was his wine. My sister hid on my back, holding tightly on my clothes.

“I did it… It slipped on my hand. Sorry d-.”

I held my left cheek. Dad got in front of me quickly and slapped the left side of my face real hard. My mom shouted and got between me and my dad, telling him to stop.

“You are really worthless!”

Dad went to his room slamming the door so hard that it echoed throughout the house right after that.

My sister cried hard. I carried her and brought her to the living room because the floor is still full of spilled wine and broken glass.

She touched the side of my face that was slapped by dad while I treated the cuts on her fingers.

“Don’t worry Bella. That’s nothing, it doesn’t hurt or whatsoever.” I smiled so she would feel more at ease.

“Thank you for saving me brother. I really hate dad.” She replied and hugged me as tight as she could.

“Don’t say that. Dad just had a drink so he acted like that.” I said.

I was blessed to have my younger sisters in this house full of nothing but toxicity. It also felt nice to be appreciated by my siblings more that my own parents, dad especially.