The Last Letter

9

Chapter IX

“Are you okay? Why are you so red?” August asked me when he returned to our table, holding two glasses of water.

I touched my face and it was hot.

“I’m okay, it’s just hot in here you know.” I said and wiped my face with tissues. I’m not even sweating but I feel so hot.

We ate while chatting. I kept stealing glances from her since she’s at the counter around 5 meters from our table. I also feel like she’s looking in our direction but whenever I have a chance to look at her, she’s always looking down.

After staying and eating at the restaurant for 30 minutes, it was time to pay. I went to the counter while she went to get a tray and clean our tables. I took that as a chance to ask her elder co-worker her name.

“Excuse me, can you give me her name?” I asked the elderly woman who took my order earlier as I handed her my payment for our meal.

“Oh her? Her name is Suzanne. She’s my granddaughter and works part time here.” She said.

“You have such a beautiful granddaughter.” When I said that, I thought this grandma would find me creepy but instead, she smiled.

“Indeed, thank you for coming here.” She has such a lovely voice and a bright and smiley face. Maybe Suzanne inherited her traits from her grandmother.

I told her some basic information about me like my age and year I am. She was shocked to know that I’m the son of the mayor who is a regular here and she thanked me afterwards. I asked the grandma for a piece of paper and a pen, then scribbled the words “Have a nice day, Suzanne :)”. I walked towards her and she raised her head and she looked at me with a confused face.

I extended my hand out in front of her to which she just looked at. I took her hands and made her shake my hands.

“I’m Benjamin.” I told her with a smile.

“Uhm, Suzanne.” She replied while avoiding my eyes.

“This is for you.” I put the piece of paper earlier in her hands and locked it. Then I walked to the entrance where August was waiting.

I felt my heart rising so hard. I don’t know where I got the courage to do that. And I felt my face turning red again. August didn’t know what was going on so he asked me what that piece of paper was about. I told him it was nothing special and he remained silent as we exited the restaurant.

I haven’t looked at her since I was afraid of what reaction she would make. Maybe she’ll get creeped out since we just saw each other for the first time today. If I were her, I'd feel the same.

I didn’t want to go home yet so we spent time near the river outside the restaurant. Just chatting and drinking some soda, eating street food that we passed by on the way to the restaurant.

After a while, August was unusually quiet. I felt like he was tired since he had his first class earlier so I told him we should go home. I know August as much as August knows me, so when he’s quiet that is uncommon for him, I know he’s tired for the day.

I see him off as he rides his bike on the way to our old neighborhood. I still don't want to go home even if it is 5pm now and I have so much stuff I need to prepare for my first day in the University tomorrow. I stayed by the river just by myself and watched the sky as the sun set and the moon and stars slowly showed up. I do this once in a while whenever I feel suffocated at home.

To tell you honestly, ever since I entered high school, my dad expected me to follow his footsteps and enter politics when I’m at the right age. I went against him so he turned a cold blood from me that lasted for months. Then a few weeks ago, things got messier when I told my family that I’ll take Physical Education as my course in college since I am an athlete and that’s what I want to do. Dad was in an outrage when I didn’t follow his orders that I should take Law or a business course.

And of course, there is the never ending comparison between me and my brother who is now a successful doctor in the biggest hospital in this country. My dad entered politics when he was in college so my dad didn’t pressure his studies. I don’t hate my brother though. He was really nice and dependable, and I was the closest to him among our siblings. I just hate the fact that I’m always compared to him. The only times my dad acknowledges me is when I compete in national competitions.

My mom supported me like any other moms, but she couldn't hide her disappointment in her face. Our house was big and fancy, but sometimes I feel like I’m just a guest. But don’t get me wrong, I love my family. It’s just that these past few years, they felt so busy and distant.

No one, not even August knows any of this and they all think that my family is supportive of me.

At about 6 pm, I started to walk home with my bike. I didn’t ride my bicycle and I thanked God for it.

Not that far from where I was walking, I saw her again. Although it was dark and only a few lamp posts were on, and her hair tied up in a ponytail, at that time I was sure it was Suzanne. We were walking in opposite directions so we would pass by each other. Her head was down so she couldn’t see me, or I don’t know if she’s doing that on purpose to avoid me.

“Suzanne.”

She looked at me flabbergasted but she slowly wore an awkward smile and awkwardly waved her hand.

“Hi. Benjamin, right?”

I smiled and walked towards her.

“Yes. It’s late, are you on your way home?” I asked.

“Uhm yes, I just finished my shift.” She replied.

“It’s dangerous. I’ll walk you home.” It is a common courtesy to walk a girl you like home right? And this might be my chance to get close to her.

“No, you don’t have to. I’m almost there, I just have to turn right in the alley downstairs. You should go home.” She told me with a smile.

“No, let’s go.” I started to walk in the direction she said. She followed my back closely so I stopped until she’s walking by my side.

By the way, the path we are walking is the way to a small residential area near the city. My house is not that far from here but it’s in the opposite direction, I’ll get there in about 10 minutes riding my bike.

We only talked briefly since the direction to her house she said was right, we were actually just a few steps from her house.

She told me her whole name is “Suzanne Mea Cruz” and she was just 16 years old. She’s in 10th grade and she’s working in her grandparents’ restaurant, the seafood restaurant from earlier. I also told her about myself but she said she knows everything from her grandma.

She thanked me for walking her home. And that was it. That’s how my day ended but that was the day I started to like her.

***

We started to talk everytime we met, and I ate regularly at the restaurant, almost everyday just to walk her home. For a few months during that time, she realized my intentions so she stopped me immediately, saying that she still has a long way to go and she doesn’t want to enter into a relationship. I said I was not in a rush but she was sorry and insisted for me to leave her alone. But I didn’t stop there and still continued to pursue her even when she was avoiding me.

Everything was fine until one day, the restaurant was closed. The next day, it was closed again. Then the next day, and the next until weeks and months passed, the restaurant never opened. The fishermen nearby said that it was closed since it was financially distressed and they can’t meet their expenses anymore.

I was always in the river outside the restaurant during that time, spending the hours after school there, hoping to see her even if it will be the last time. Months later, the restaurant was turned into an inn for travelers or visitors.

I went into a slump in my athletic career.

Everyone was worried, even my dad although he just showed his worries imperceptibly. But I can’t tell everyone what happened, not even August nor my family. I just told them I’m undergoing psychological distress.

After a year, I accidentally saw her working in a small restaurant in the city. Her hair was long now but everything about her is still the same except her eyes looked different than how I remembered it.

I didn’t talk to her but she knows I’m there. I always let other employees take my order whenever I go to the small restaurant she works in and I don’t look at her so she won’t feel uncomfortable in my presence.

I just stared at her from afar.

It was sad that it was the only thing I could do, to just stare at her at a distance.

But because of that, I gathered myself and I gained my reputation back as an athlete.

I started to become active and bright again.

Up until now, I still don’t have the courage to talk to her but when the right time comes, I’ll properly ask her out. I promise I'll have her no matter what comes my way.