The Last Letter

41

Chapter XLI

“Are you cold?” August asked that made me snap back to reality after seconds of dozing off.

“A little.” I said and smiled. Deep inside, I was feeling really cold but August was also wearing a shirt only. I couldn’t possibly ask him to lend me some jacket.

But to my surprise, he stood up and sat behind me. He wrapped his arms around my body and my folded legs, like a back hug. I could feel his breath on my neck which sent shivers down my spine. He moved much closer to me and my back has completely closed the gap from his chest. August hugged me tighter and I immediately felt warmed inside his arms.

With the view in front of us plus his warm and welcoming hug, it really felt as if it was just us against the world.

I leaned into him and closed my eyes to savor the moment. Me and August, at this time and place, it felt like heaven in his arms. This is the first time I ever felt this way and I’m glad that it’s with August. It was August that made me feel special and lucky. It was August who made me feel warm and protected. It was August that I think I’m now in love with. I’m glad that he will be my first love.

But… it was embarrassing to ask him directly. Does he ever feel the same way with me?

I felt his warm breath on the side of my neck that made all the hair in my body stand up.

“Suzanne…” he whispered, calling my name. He breathed directly on my neck. Oh God August, why are you doing this to me? It makes me so weak, I think I’ll melt any second by now.

“Hmm?” I answered. I took a look at his face that was resting on my shoulder. He was looking intently at me, especially in my eyes. Our face was so close that I could smell his breath. He leaned closer to my face, slowly closing the 1 inch gap between our lips. In a matter of seconds that felt like I was struck by a lightning, my heart pounded so wildly inside my chest and my mind went blank.

October 22, 1995, I finally had my very first kiss.

It only lasted for like 5 seconds but it felt as if I was freely floating in the air. It was warm and light at the same time. It was like I was a main character in a fairytale and August is my knight in shining armor.

When our lips touched, my mind went blank and my body felt weak. I couldn’t even close my eyes that time due to the shock even though I kinda saw it coming.

After that kiss, August buried his face on my shoulder and hugged me tighter. I lifted his head and turned my body around to face him. He was still looking down and I couldn’t force his head to face me. Too bad, I want to see his reaction.

“Are you okay?” I asked in a soft voice.

He just nodded in response. I pouted and wrapped my arms around his back and buried my face in his neck. He was feeling so warm. I feel so comfortable in this position, I hope we can stay like this forever. He hugged me much tighter again, this time he kissed my forehead and the top of my head. I felt myself giggling inside.

“I like you, August.” I whispered, just enough for him to hear.

“Really?” He whispered back and he made me sit back up.

I nodded and scratched my head. “For about 8 or 9 months now. It lasted for a very long time even though I avoided falling deeper. I thought it was just a mere happy crush but I found myself wanting more for us.”

He smiled and gave me a quick peck on my lips. It made my eyes wide and the same feeling of my heart pounding fast is still here inside my chest. He raised both of my hands, kissed it and placed it on his neck to make me feel warm.

“I like you too Suzanne for quite a while now. I just don’t know how or when it started.”

I smiled brightly and chuckled. He smiled at me and gave me a kiss on my forehead and cheeks. I hugged him again but leaned on his shoulder so that I could see his face, the face of the man I like or I don’t know if this is love I feel. I don’t know if this feeling inside me is already on the love stage. But regardless of that, I am so happy and content to know that he feels the same way about me too.

He glanced at me as he noticed that I was staring at him.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asked, looking directly into my eyes. His eyes were so expressive and soulful. Looking at those makes me know what he feels. I felt my face getting hot and red. How am I supposed to answer that, August? I know I want more of that kiss but I am too embarrassed to answer ‘yes’.

“I can’t?” He pouted.

“You… can, August. Anytime you want to.” I covered my face in embarrassment. I can’t believe I just said that directly in his face.

“Really? Can I do that?” He asked excitedly. I nodded even though I was still covering my hot and blushing face. He removed my hands and wrapped it around his neck but I was still closing my eyes because I still can’t face him after what I had said.

“Open your eyes Suzanne. Look at me please.” I felt his breath on my face as he said those words..

I slowly opened my eyes and his face was so close, his eyes were shifting on my eyes then on my lips.

He leaned closer and closer until our lips met again for the third time. His hands were on my waist, gradually pulling me closer into him. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and unknowingly deepened the kiss. His lips moved slowly so I followed him doing it the same way. He slid his hands to my shoulder onto my face and caressed my cheeks and hair so gently, pushing the back of my head to further deepen the kiss. I felt his lips on my lower lip, licking it with his tongue that made me feel so hot inside. After that, he went all out again and like a gentle kissing monster, he played with my lips passionately. I tried to return every movement his lips were making but I got weak as our kiss went deeper and deeper. It was only the third time but this feels extreme already. Can’t complain though.

Unlike the first kiss, this one lasted longer and actually we kissed for a very long time. It lasted for minutes and we were both out of breath after that.

“I love you Suzanne.” He whispered in my ears.

It took me aback and I felt my eyes grow wide. I didn't expect him to say that to me so soon. He looked at me after he said those words and smiled at me sweetly. But it felt good inside my chest, to hear someone you like tell you he/she loves you.

“I love you too… August.” I said. He gave me a quick kiss and smiled at me so sweetly after.

And then for the fifth time, we kissed again, passionately. He wrapped my hands on my back and mine was wrapped in his neck. I tilted my head and allowed our kiss to get deeper. I also opened my mouth and without much preparation, he gently slid his tongue inside and played with mine even though I don’t know how to do it. I just followed his rhythm.

I was unconsciously closing my eyes the whole time. Maybe because it felt so good.

To my surprise, he removed his lips onto mine and he went to kiss the side of my neck. It sent shivers down on my spine. I felt my nails burying on his back and moaned lightly as I felt he was planting small kisses on my neck. I looked up at the sky but no matter how many stars were in the sky tonight, I only had my attention in August.

My heart was racing so wildly inside. I might die of a heart attack at this rate. August drives both my mind and heart so crazy.

“August…” I called his name in a husky voice.

“Hmm?” He asked without paying attention, still continuing what he was doing on my neck.

“Don’t…stop.” I answered and moaned as I felt his tongue lightly licking my jawline.

“Do you want more?” He asked and went directly on my lips again. I nodded in response when we stopped kissing for a while, drowning in each other’s eyes.

To be continued…