Alpha of the Dead

Chapter 24

(Siobhan’s P.O.V)

Tiernan was starting to piss me off. I really wish that I hadn’t gone into heat as I had, or I wouldn’t have mated with him, and I would have been able to reject him like I wanted to. But no, I mated with him…a lot…and now I was up s**t creek without a paddle.

You need to get over it.

Who’s that? Is that my wolf? No, it couldn’t be my wolf since I haven’t heard from her in days.

Stop being a C U Next Tuesday. You have no one to blame but yourself for my silence. You were hurting me because of your inability to trust that someone would love you without hurting you.

Wow, way to be a b***h.

You just don’t like the fact that I’m right and that you’re scared.

Tala goes back to the deep recesses of my mind, back to ignoring me. I hate when my wolf is right about s**t. I wish that, just once, I could be the one spitting facts at her, but nope, here I am with egg on my face. I’m starting to think that volunteering for this case was a bad idea and that coming home was a bad idea. I had made my way out to the woods behind the hotel, I just needed a minute of peace…of solitude. My therapist, Jeremy, is a lynx shifter and has been after me to try and meditate when I get into these moods of wanting isolation. He says it can help balance the internal noise. I’ve never been able to successfully meditate but here I am, giving it the good ol’ college try. I find myself a nice little area to sit under the trees, the sun was starting to lower, and I knew I only had a few hours until my date with Tiernan. Once I sat down and crossed my legs, I closed my eyes and started to take deep breaths, breathing in through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. I began to feel my body relax as I continued this routine of breathing deeply, emptying my mind of thought and emotion. I was disturbed in my meditation by the sound of feet, big feet…Alpha feet for sure. His whiskey and campfire smell bombarded me, making me wet and making my body tremble.

“What do you want Ty?” I ask, keeping my eyes shut.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I really am so sorry for the way I’ve behaved since you’ve been back. I understand your apprehension and aversion to the mate bond, and I know that my attitude about it hasn’t been helping matters.” He says softly.

I feel a tear slip down my cheek, apologizing never came easy to him, it doesn’t to most Alpha’s, but the fact that he is apologizing means a lot to me.

“I appreciate the apology, Ty,” I murmur, before opening my eyes and finding him sitting on the ground in front of me.

“Do you still want to go on our date? I will understand if you would like to cancel.” He says, though his eyes are full of hope that I will say yes to the date.

“Of course, Ty. I just needed to be away from people for a bit. It’s been overwhelming being home and I haven’t really had a single moment to myself. That’s all.” I state.

“Okay, well, you have about two hours until we need to head out.” He states, before getting up and walking back to the hotel.

Are you done being a b***h to him now?

Stop it, Tala.

No, I won’t stop it. Not until we have our mate and he’s bearing OUR mark and we are bearing his.

STOP f*****g PRESSURING ME! YOU AREN’T MAKING THIS ANY EASIER FOR ME!

Tala balks at my anger. I’ve never spoken to her like this. Our wolves are the other half of our soul, the other half of our being. They are our constant companions after we shift at 18, and for me to be at war with Tala like I am, hurts. She whimpers at me before completely shutting down, to the point that I don’t even feel her anymore. Like I had just drunk a gallon of wolfsbane, and she was dead. I couldn’t help the tears that cascade down my face at this point, knowing that I’m hurting my wolf, hurting Tiernan and Steele, hurting my family, hurting the pack. The pack is always stronger with a mated Alpha here in the Human Realm. In the Lunar Realm, the mate status of an Alpha doesn’t matter regarding their pack strength, because they are closer to the Celestial Realm than we are. I get up from the ground and walk back to the suite, wallowing in my self-hatred.

When I get back to the suite, Tiernan is nowhere to be found and everyone is working really hard to avoid eye contact with me. I sigh, walk into my room and head straight for the bathroom to shower. I spent a long time in the shower, I swear I do my best thinking in the shower sometimes. This, however, was NOT one of those times. I couldn’t get my brain to shut the f**k up, giving me constant horrific scenarios about how this date will go. I finally shut off the water and climb out, drying myself off and then putting my long black hair up in a towel so I can get my make-up on. I keep it simple, soft pink lip, nice sharp cat-eye that would cut a b***h if they tried me, and a bit of highlighter to show the Moon Goddess I am still her favorite without sending light signals to her. I pull the towel off my head and blow dry my hair. After brushing it out I decided that I want loose curls for tonight. So, after curling my hair, I get to the closet to figure out what I’m going to wear. I’ve never been on a date, to be honest. Wyatt and I were college students and our idea of going on dates was to cook a package of chicken Ramen and a package of beef Ramen and binge on Netflix. I never had to dress up for those “dates”.

I swear, I’ve been standing in the closet trying to figure out what to wear for hours at this point before someone knocks on my door. f**k! It’s Tiernan! I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t even smell him coming to my door. I fling it open, completely forgetting that I’m naked as the day I was born, and in front of me are Camilla and Artis.

“Not that we don’t enjoy a free show every once in a while, but neither of us swings that way.” Artis chuckles.

“f**k! I didn’t even think, I thought you guys were Tiernan.” I mutter, before scurrying further into my room so they could enter.

“We are here to help you get dressed because you have like twenty minutes until he gets here,” Camilla says.

“I don’t have dresses, I just have business attire, jeans and t-shirts, and workout gear.” I wail.

“That’s why we are here,” Artis states before pulling a dress out from behind her back.

It was beautiful, a deep navy color that would complement my skin tone and make my eyes pop. It was sleek and form-fitting without looking like it was painted on, it reached mid-thigh and had an off-the-shoulder sweetheart neckline. Camilla brought out some fake silver jewelry that included a small diamond choker, a diamond tennis bracelet, and a pair of diamond studs. I topped the look off with a pair of black stilettos, and giving myself a once over in the mirror, I felt ready for my date.