ONLY TIME WILL TELL

VIII: Living

They spend the rest of the morning preparing the rabbit he caught the day before. As he skins it and removes its insides on the kitchen island Jolene pulls out a pot and some utensils to actually cook it. “Really?!” she asks him when she sees the mess he makes on the counter. 

“What?” he says to her. “I’m cooking.” 

“Yeah, no you’re making a mess.” She tells him as she shakes her head and pulls the garbage can up to the side of the island.

“Pfft.” he replies. 

“Just throw away what you don’t need. I’ll find something to clean with.” she tells him. 

She searches through the drawers in the kitchen and finds some sponges, as he starts discarding small bones and fur in the garbage. She takes a sponge and puts it on the counter for when he’s done. Then she goes searching and finds a can of mixed vegetables in the cabinets so they can do a sort of ‘rabbit stew’ for that morning. Jolene flits through the kitchen in her t-shirt and underwear as she cooks. She was surprised by how well she remembers kitchen organization. Old habits, she thinks to herself. 

Daryl is surprised as well at how adept she is. Thank God, since I don’t know how to cook, he thinks, as he uses his bowie knife to chop the meat into smaller pieces. He also rather enjoyed watching her ass as she cooked and cleaned in her underwear. They both sit at the small kitchen table to eat. At first they both feel awkward around each other, having both exposed their feelings, at least partially, but eventually Jolene decides to just break the silence.

“So, what happened to her?...that girl you were with years ago when we met…” she asks him, taking a bite of food. It was grisly, but tasted good enough for her needs. 

“Who? Oh...uh...she started f*****g around and I got fed up with her bullshit. Why?” he asks, taking a huge bite of food, making his cheeks stick out as he chews. It was the sort of bite that would have looked comical for most, but for Jolene it just made her more hungry.

“Well, I’m just kinda curious, y’know? I figured you would have a girlfriend or at least a fuckbuddy by now, but it seems you haven’t all this time. There a reason for that?” she says, laughing on the inside that she could now be that ‘fuckbuddy.’

“How do you know?” he asks her with his mouth full.

“Well, they talk a lot down at construction. I guess I just assumed since you’re quite the loner.” she responds as she continues eating.  

Daryl looks down at his plate as he continues eating and decides to just give her the facts, “I’ve hooked up with a few girls since we met as kids, but never had a ‘relationship.’ Didn’t have the time or the patience....Me and Merle were always on the go. Then the world ended and it just never happened.” he responds. Jolene nods her head, coming to grips with his exploits. “What about you? How is it that you don’t have some guy following you around already?” he asks, waving his fork in her direction, then taking another huge bite. He had almost already cleaned his plate.

Walked right into that one, she thinks. She responds emotionless, “I did...My husband.” Daryl looks at her apprehensively, chewing his lip. “He died a while back now. Don’t worry, he’s not coming back.” she says as she looks down at her plate of half eaten food. 

Daryl was starting to get a bigger picture, understanding more and more why she didn’t want to fall in love with him. She was married before, maybe even had kids and now she was completely alone. He continues eating quietly just digesting the information they share. After a few seconds Jolene tries to continue their conversation. 

“What about your brother? Merle?...how did he die?” she asks. 

“I’d rather not...I mean just yet.” Daryl can see Merle now, chewing on a piece of flesh with undead eyes and he puts down his fork. 

“I’m sorry, I understand” she tells him. 

“Sorry ‘bout your husband.” he says, standing up to take his empty plate to the sink. 

“Yeah, well. s**t happens.” she says, trying to lighten the mood, but failing miserably. 

“So what’s with you and Carol?” she blurts out as her mind wanders back to that conversation. She continues looking straight ahead at the wall next to the table to avoid his gaze. She notices a generic watercolor painting adorning the wall and stares at it. 

“What about her?” he asks as he washes his plate and fork.

“Well, I met her at the armory the other day and she was strangely curious about you, much more so than anybody else in town. She seemed like she was really interested in you.” she says. He comes back over to the table to look at her, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall she’s staring at. He bends his right knee to lean harder, with his foot as leverage. 

“We go back a ways. She’s been there for me in some hard times. She was probably the closest I ever got to a ‘relationship.’” he says. “She used to be married too, but her husband was a real prick.”

Interesting, she thinks, so maybe Carol is worried about him. She crosses her arms, looking at him glaring at her and asks, “Why didn’t you two ever hook up? Or have you?”

She serious?, Daryl thinks as he furrows his brow in thought. “Uh...we just never...I mean...no.” he struggles to respond then says, “I don’t know, it was just never right.” 

He was unintentionally flexing his arms which was making it difficult for Jolene to concentrate. She looks to her right, through the window. “So do you think it could be right with me?” she asks him, looking at him through her left peripheral vision. 

Daryl had to think about that for a moment. She was the first woman he had gotten this close to in over three years. The one before her was before the outbreak and he could barely remember anything about her, just another ‘notch’ on his belt. “Maybe.” is all he can come up with, shrugging.

“Hm.” she says smiling down at her plate. Daryl loved seeing her smile, hoping that he would see more of it. She is so distracted she doesn’t realize the time. The sun had risen hours ago and it was becoming late morning. Suddenly there’s a banging at the door. 

Jolene looks up and notices it’s light out. “f**k!” she exclaims, “I’m late for work!” She stands up quickly, the kitchen chair scraping loudly against the floor, and runs for the stairs. She gets to her bedroom and changes quickly into her usual shorts and t-shirt and pulls back her hair. She finds her boots and checks to be sure her knife is still there before pulling them on.

Downstairs Daryl answers the door to Francine. “Oh hi Daryl.” she says to him formally, surprised that he is answering the door. “Jolene’s late for work and Abraham is not too happy.” 

“Just let him know it was my fault. We were catching up.” he tells her in his gruff voice. 

They hear Jolene yell from upstairs, “I’LL BE RIGHT DOWN! SORRY!” 

Francine smiles and shakes her head, looking down. “I’ll just wait out here.” she tells Daryl, pointing her thumb behind her. 

He nods and partially closes the door. He goes to the bottom of the stairs to wait. 

Jolene comes running down, but before she can turn the corner for the front door he grabs her by her arms and pushes her up against the wall across the staircase. Jolene can’t even react as it happens so fast. He pushes into her, molding his body to hers, pinning her to the wall. She could feel his d**k getting harder against her pelvis. He looks down her body and up to her face as he runs his hands softly up her arms, possessing her. Oh God, right now? She thinks as she can feel her panties get soaked. She closes her eyes at his touch. “I’ll be waiting here when you get back.” he says with a husky voice, leaning in and speaking against her neck. “Don’t let that asshole give you any s**t today.” Jolene lets out an almost whine as his hot breath tickles her neck. He kisses her hard, hungrily, possessing her lips and her body completely. He forces her mouth open with his tongue and swirls it around, tasting her. Jolene reaches up and grabs the back of his shirt as she kisses him back. Then he breaks the kiss and takes a few steps back away from her, leaning his body again on the railing of the staircase. He gives her the slightest of smirks. 

Jolene stands there for a moment disoriented, still leaning against the wall. She felt dizzy. She shakes her head and looks at him, giving him a scowl because he already knew she was late, then runs out the door into the hot DC air. 

She almost runs into Francine who is standing on the porch waiting for her. She didn’t realize how hard she was breathing until Francine says, “Everything alright?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah, of course. Let’s go.” she responds, smiling to her. Francine hands her a rifle as she slings another one on her back. They both walk down the porch to the expansion site. 

When they arrive Francine explains to Abraham that Daryl was the reason she was late. He laughs loudly. “No s**t?” he says to them both, looking at them incredulously. Francine shakes her head responding, “No s**t. He answered the door.” 

Abraham laughs again, even harder. “Good for him. Fuck...all this time I thought he was f*****g gay!” he says between laughs. “Well, good for you woman, I hope you can deal with Mr. High and mighty do gooder.” 

She laughs with him. “Alright, whatever. Can we please just work now?” she says. Abraham jabs at her again about being late, but she just brushes it off. They continue working on hauling more material to the spot they left yesterday. 

The day flies by again. The only memorable parts of the day were the others trying to get more information about her and Daryl and taking out a larger group of the dead during the afternoon. But Jolene did not kiss and tell. She wouldn’t give them any information, not even confirming that she slept with him. And the walkers were easy enough to get rid of. She got to see how they established a formation for bigger groups where they would all face out to take them from all sides. Everybody used a knife or blunt object to cave in their heads. At one point they did have to use their guns, which unfortunately drew more into their location, but they got the job done. She noticed how Abraham not only seemed to be an expert, but seemed to enjoy taking them out. Definitely not somebody to threaten anytime soon, she thought. It took them a couple of hours to take them all out as the noise kept bringing in more and more and they were pretty slow. The afternoon was then filled up with collecting all the dead bodies and putting them in a trench to burn later, so they lost some hours of construction time. She was sore, but it definitely was not as bad as yesterday. 

On the walk back Jolene talks with Francine and Tobin about some upcoming get together that they are all having at Rick’s. It sounded like a party, but she was a little skeptical that they could pull it off. 

“So, do you do this often? These parties?” Jolene asks them. 

“Oh no.” Tobin says. “The last one we had was when Deanna was here a couple of months ago. And I wouldn’t exactly say ‘party’. I think it will be more of a ‘gathering’ this time around.” Jolene would have been more scared of Tobin if he was part of Rick’s group because of his size, but he was another “townie” and was very non-threatening. He was clean cut and a bit older than anybody else she had met thus far. 

“I think Rick just wants to see where everybody stands since losing about half the town.” Francine responds. Tobin shoots her a scowl and Francine looks at him incredulously. “What? She would have to find out sometime if she doesn’t already know!” she says to him. 

“What don’t I know?” Jolene asks.

“So you heard that we were attacked a while ago, right?” Tobin asks.

“I heard something, but I didn’t get the full story.” she says. Tobin and Francine stop walking and he looks at her knowingly, then nods his head. Jolene turns around and looks at him as he walks up to her, Francine following. 

“Alright, here it is. And if anybody asks, you didn’t hear it from me....” He starts. Jolene nods her head as they stand there and he continues. “Well, a week or so ago we were attacked maliciously by this group that called themselves ‘wolves’. This group came in and just started brutally murdering townspeople out in the street...Our people were unarmed and totally unprepared….Then one of them ran a truck into part of our walls over to the side and a huge group of walkers came through which took out more people, Deanna being one of them…”

Francine continues, “Reg, her husband was killed before all that started by Pete, our original town doctor who was then killed directly by Rick....

Then Tobin: “Let’s see, before that a group of people were killed while out on a run for solar panel equipment, one of them being Deanna’s oldest son. The only living descendent of hers is Spencer, who you met at the church. There’s probably more bullshit that happened in between, but that’s the gist of it.” Tobin says. 

“There was also the horde.” Francine says, “A group were out doing a supply run when the wolves attacked and many of them were killed by a horde of walkers that we were trying to lead away from here.” 

“Holy shit.” Jolene responds. She takes a moment to absorb all the information they provided. No wonder Rick felt the need to warn me. I knew this was a bad idea. She thinks to herself. History had taught her that staying in one place was the easiest way to get killed these days, by the living or the dead. 

“I’m sorry for the blunt delivery, but you needed to know.” Tobin tells her earnestly as they continue walking to the armory. 

“It’s okay.” Jolene responds, “I’m glad you told me.” She looks down at the ground as she walks, trying to contain her reaction. It was only day three and she was wondering how she was going to leave Daryl. 

Before they walk into the armory Jolene stops them to ask, “So what was with Pete? Why did he kill Deanna’s husband?” she asks them curiously. 

“Pete was actually going after Rick and Reg got between them. He cut his throat by mistake.” Francine says. “Pete was beating his wife Jessie and Rick exposed him to everybody.”

“So then Rick killed him?” she asks.

“Yeah..well, Deanna told him to.” Tobin responds.

“Where’s Jessie now? I mean, that must be rough for her.” Jolene asks.

“She died, her and her two kids were attacked by the walkers that were let in when they tried to get away.” Francine says. 

“Jesus.” Jolene says, sighing. These people were put through the wringer. She walks into the armory and they all sign back in their weapons with Olivia. Jolene has gone quiet and Francine notices as they leave. 

“You going to be okay?” she asks Jolene. 

She takes a moment to look around. The town was dark now, the only light coming from house windows. “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just a lot to take in. You have seen some awful things.” she says. 

“I’m sure you have seen just as bad, if not worse, out there. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m here.” Francine tells her, putting a hand on her back. Jolene was not really comfortable with her touch, she didn’t really like anybody touching her, but she doesn’t shy away as she knows it would be rude. “Thank you.” she tells her. “I’m just gonna head home tonight. Have a good night.” she says as she walks down the steps back towards her house. 

She feels scared as she walks back. Not of death, not of the undead or the living, not of wolves or abusive husbands, but of seeing Daryl again. She was falling for him. She was falling hard. Thinking of all this death made her realize that she didn’t ever want to leave him....but she can’t stay. She can’t love him because that means he will die. Everybody she ever loved had died. And if he loves her he would be in more danger. Because he would do anything to protect her. f**k, why is he so perfect? She thinks.