ONLY TIME WILL TELL

VII: Promises

Jolene gets back to her house and takes the front door inside. The front light was on in the living room, but nobody's there when she walks in. Thank God, she thinks. If he was there she was worried that her exhausted self would say something stupid. When she was tired she often acted drunk, no filter between her brain and her mouth, which was not a good situation when trying to avoid sharing her feelings or thoughts. The human part of her wanted to, but the survivalist said to shut it which got her by all this time. She shuts the front door and is sure to lock it, just in case. He would have to knock to get in, she thinks.

She heads upstairs to get into the shower. She was covered in dry, salty sweat and dirt, so was craving the hot water. This time, she remembers a towel and brings a t-shirt and underwear into the bathroom so she isn’t forced to come out naked again. She didn’t trust that somebody could get in if they wanted to. 

She gets in the hot shower and just lets the water loosen her sore muscles. After a few minutes she gets her hair wet and scrubs it with some shampoo and applies a little conditioner. She wanted to conserve the rest for the remainder of her week. She starts to wash off her body and takes the chance to pleasure herself. 

Of course, the first thing that comes to her mind is Daryl f*****g her against a wall. She rubs her c**t gently at first and then harder. She inserts two fingers inside as she uses her other hand to continue to massage her c**t. She moans as she comes and juices run down her legs with the shower water. She chuckles at herself afterwards. It made her happy that she could enjoy her body again, without fear. 

She finishes her shower and dries off. As she is putting on her shirt she hears a creak outside of her door. She goes to her boots that she kicked off in the bathroom and finds her small knife, still there. Luckily she had locked the door to the bathroom. 

“Hello?” she chances to shout. She didn’t know how somebody could get in without using a window, but she didn’t like that they would. 

“It’s Daryl.” he responds through the door. 

Fuck, she thinks, how long has he been there? She opens the door to him in her t-shirt and underwear with the knife still in her hand. 

He lifts his hands as if under arrest. “Everything alright?” he says to her looking down at the knife in her hand. She looks down and Daryl chances to look at the rest of her, fresh from the shower. Her perky n*****s were exposed through yet another white shirt and she wasn’t wearing any pants. Her hair looked almost brown when wet and was tousled to the side again which was sexy as f**k. That combined with the noises he heard her making in the shower make his d**k stiffen in response. 

“Oh” she says, putting the knife on the bathroom sink, “s**t, sorry...I thought...I don’t know what I thought...but...how? How did you get in? I locked the...doors.” she stutters out, crossing her arms in front of herself in embarrassment. Her mind was getting fuzzy and whole sentences were getting harder to form.

Daryl drops his hands and reaches in his pocket, pulling out a key. “I picked this up while you were working. Figured you wanted a little privacy.” he says, handing it to her. 

“Oh, thanks.” she says awkwardly, taking the key from him. His kindness was still taking her by surprise. He stands there for a moment and the tension is killing her. She can’t go anywhere because he is blocking her way, but he clearly wanted to say something. She was still worried about how she might react to him, fiddling with the key in her hand. 

“Daryl?” she finally asks, “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah. Uh...did you have dinner?” he blurts out, his face inadvertently contorting in a grimace. f**k, what are you doing?, he thinks to himself. Dinner? You don’t even know how to cook you fucktard. 

Jolene is surprised also. Why the f**k would he invite me to dinner when I already told him I don’t want anything from him? “No, but I don’t really feel much like eating…” she responds, looking past him to the bed. She did feel hungry, but just wanted to sleep. 

“You should probably eat sumthin.’” he tells her matter of factly in his low growl of a voice. 

“Uhh...yeah, but...It’s just...I’m just....exhausted from today and---” He cuts her off. 

“Stay here.” he says, biting his inner lip in contemplation. He turns around and heads out the door and down the stairs. Jolene, still standing in the doorway of the bathroom, walks to the bed and sits down, waiting for him. She felt a little dizzy so stands up to try to wake herself up. 

Daryl returns promptly, “Here, eat.” he says handing her a fruit cup and a spoon. Jolene takes it from him and he gestures for her to sit down. She obliges him and sits back on the bed. He sits down next to her to make sure that she does eat. Jolene rolls her eyes and peels back the plastic lid. It was a mixed fruit cup with the little cherries and peaches. She eats it quickly and realizes that it makes her feel a little bit better. Daryl looked at her the entire time.

Daryl stands to leave and Jolene considers asking him to stay. She wanted him so badly. Even now she could feel the pressure building in her lower abdomen and her underwear getting wet from her arousal. But she didn’t want to fall in love with him. Dinner couldn’t happen, but maybe physical comfort? She thinks. 

“Daryl?” she finally says. He turns around in the bedroom doorway. She walks up to him and grabbing the fabric of his pants on his hips leans up to kiss him. At first he flinches away from her so she looks him in the eyes and slowly brings her face to his. Their lips touch softly for a moment and finally he closes his eyes. He reaches his hands up to her face and opens up to her completely, kissing her back passionately. Jolene closes her eyes and reaches around, placing her hands on his lower back, molding her body to his. She can feel his erection push against her center, which arouses her further. We’re almost the same height, she thinks. He slides his hands down to her backside and squeezes her ass gently, then back up to rest his hands on her lower back. 

Jolene begins to back up, feeling drunk, pulling Daryl into the bedroom with her until she hits the bed with the back of her legs. She breaks their kiss, reaches up and slides the vest from his shoulders. Then she touches the bottom of his shirt, intending to lift it above his head. “Wait.” he says. Jolene smirks at him, is he kidding? Why is he getting shy now?

Daryl was worried about exposing that part of himself to anybody.“It’s okay.” she whispers in response. He seems to relax, so she pulls his shirt above his head. She looks at him in all his glory. He was beautiful, scars and all. She puts her hands on his chest and runs them down his abs to the top of his pants. He sighs contentedly at her touch. It seems like he hasn't been touched in some time, Jolene notes to herself. She slides both her hands around his side and feels his scarred back. As she touches him there he sucks in his breath, making a hissing noise as if it hurts him. She gently runs her hands up and down his back, trying to calm him. It seemed to be working as his body relaxed. He then breaks her hold, reaches down and pulls her shirt above her head in one swift motion. He looks down at her naked body and Jolene feels a flush rise in her cheeks from his gaze. They stand there for a moment just taking each other in. 

Jolene looks down and suddenly feels dizzy; vertigo was getting to her and she stumbles. Daryl catches her easily. “You okay?” he asks in a husky voice.

“Yeah, I just got dizzy all of a sudden.” she says. 

“You should sit.” he says leaning forward to guide her down to the bed behind her. 

“Thanks.” she says as she sits down and puts her hands on the edge to steady herself. She looks at the floor spinning. She starts rocking back and forth unintentionally. 

Daryl bends down in front of Jolene so he is eye level with her. “Lay down.” he tells her. 

“Okay.” she says and she lets her body fall to the side onto a pillow bringing her legs up on the bed. She rolls over onto her back and the ceiling continues spinning. She lifts her hand and waves it above her head watching as it becomes multiple hands. Then everything goes black as she passes out. 

Jolene opens her eyes, but it is still too dark to see anything. As her eyes adjust she realizes that she is lying on his bare chest, on her bed, with her left leg and arm wrapped around him under the sheets. He has his left arm wrapped around her and his right holding onto her left hand so she stays as still as she can. Embarrassment starts building in her gut as she feels the drool from the side of her mouth on his bare chest. f**k, she thinks, as she cautiously tries to move her left hand to wipe it off. She looks up at his face, but he is sleeping soundly with his mouth slightly open, breathing heavily. She moves her left hand and is able to wipe off the drool from her mouth, but doesn’t take the chance to wipe off his chest. 

Fuck, she thinks, what happened? She tries to get her bearings without moving around. My underwear is still on, she thinks, and he still has his pants on so we didn’t have s*x. Why is he here? She wonders, and why am I in bed with him? The last thing she remembered was the kiss from the night before. She hated herself for that. Why are you being so stupid? She thinks to herself. You promised to use him for s*x, you promised you would not fall in love with him. Is this really keeping your promises? You barely know each other, except physically. It was nearly pitch black outside so it had to be sometime in the middle of the night, maybe early morning. She thinks about trying to fall back asleep, but her achy muscles are keeping her awake. She considers trying to move, but before she can it sounds like Daryl is awake.

She looks up at him, but his eyes are still closed. He is scowling and talking in his sleep. 

“Stop...no....” he says as he starts to jerk slightly beneath her. She unwraps herself from around him and sits up, still against the side of his body. His arm from around her falls against the bed as he continues to jerk around. Suddenly he lifts his arms over his head, as if protecting himself. “STOP!” he yells. At his outburst Jolene sits up beside him cross-legged to watch him. She didn’t want to wake him up, worried that it would be like waking up a sleepwalker, but instead tries to calm him. “Daryl.” she whispers, “You’re okay...you’re safe...nobody is going to hurt you.” she repeats quietly while chancing to touch his arms softly. 

She pets his arms until he seems to relax and they drop to his side. Suddenly, he rolls his body to face her. On his side his arms come up to grip the pillow under his head, flexing with his grip. She had to contain her chuckle as he looked like a big kid. After a couple of minutes looking at him Jolene gets out of bed, puts her shirt back on and heads downstairs in search of food. 

In the kitchen she finds a can of fruit cocktail and pulls off the lid. She searches the drawers and finds a spoon to eat it with then pulls herself up so she is sitting on the island kitchen counter. She starts to feel a little bit better as she is eating. Once she is finished she jumps down and thinks to get a drink from the fridge. As she opens it she is hit with an awful smell. Inside there’s an animal carcass on the bottom shelf. I guess this is what Daryl meant with “dinner” last night, she thinks. She grabs a bottle of water and closes the refrigerator, then goes back to sit on the kitchen island. 

She hears steps on the stairs and Daryl appears walking into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. “You alright?” he asks her in his husky morning voice. Why is he always asking me that? She wonders. He took the time to put on his sleeveless t-shirt before coming downstairs. 

“Yeah, I just woke up really hungry and dazed...what happened last night?” she asks him. 

“What do you remember?” he responds while taking a bottle of water from the fridge and coming to lean on the kitchen island next to her. He takes a sip of water while waiting for her answer. 

“I remember up to you taking my shirt off and that’s...about...it.” she says finally. 

“Yeah, you passed out.” Daryl tells her. 

“Really? Why did you stay?” she asks, chuckling.

“‘Cause you asked me to.” he responds.

Fuck, of course you did you i***t, she thinks to herself. She grimaces when he tells her that she was the reason he was in bed with her. “Oh my God. I’m sorry. I...I don’t know what to say...fuck…” she responds. 

“Stop.” Daryl tells her. “There’s nothin’ to be sorry for. I made the decision to stay to be sure you were okay.” 

Jolene blushes and looks down at the bottle of water she is holding. “I just...I made you a promise that I wouldn’t depend on you and here you are sleeping in bed with me to make me feel safe. You shouldn’t have to do that.” She shakes her head. 

Jolene can see from her peripheral vision that he is looking at her and chewing his inner lip, analyzing her. “Maybe I wanted to.” he tells her.

She didn’t know what to say to that. He wants to sleep with me? Why? What could he possibly see in me? She thinks. She looks up to her right at him to give him a look of confusion. She shakes her head while asking, “Why?” in almost a whisper. 

Daryl puts down the bottle of water he is holding and comes to stand in front of her sitting on the island counter. He takes the water she is holding from her and puts it down next to her then pushes her chin up to look at him. f**k, she is beautiful, he thinks to himself. He continues to look into her hazel green eyes while considering what he wants to say. He is still trying to remain guarded as he might scare her away. “You’re the only woman that has ever made me feel this way.” he finally says, chewing his inner lip compulsively. She furrows her brow in confusion so he sighs and looks down for a moment while saying, “You make me feel wanted. Very few have ever made me feel that....needed, sure. Like a thing, something that gets used and thrown away, but with you...I don’t know...you don’t need me. You want me.” He looks back up to gauge her reaction, squinting at her. This was the most vulnerable he had felt in his life as he had never confessed his feelings to a woman.

Jolene wants to look away from him as his admission to her makes her nervous. She looks down to his chest with her eyes to avoid his gaze. She did want him every which way she could have him, but she did not want him to worry about protecting her. She loved his personality and his overprotective nature and wants to know more, but she was trying desperately not to love him.

After a few seconds Daryl says, “If you don’t want this I’ll leave you alone for good, if that’s what you want...Is that what you want?”

Jolene takes another moment to consider her own feelings. Finally, she shakes her head no in response. She looks up into his blue eyes, analyzing her again. “No, I don’t want you to leave. But...Daryl...” She looks worried, almost fearful to him. A tear falls down her cheek and he reaches up to wipe it away with his thumb and keeps his hand on the side of her face. She closes her eyes and leans into it taking in a deep breath. She thought of her husband and the pain she felt after losing him. She never wanted to feel that again.

“I understand.” he tells her as he leans in and kisses her softly, tenderly. “Take all the time you need.” 

Jolene was surprised by how easily he could read her. She wants him to take her right there, but tries to brush it off. Feeling embarrassed from the seriousness of their conversation she diverts his attention to the animal carcass in the fridge. “So is the dead animal in the fridge what you had in mind for ‘dinner’?” she asks him smirking, pointing to the refrigerator nonchalantly. Daryl drops his hand and leans back, away from her. 

“Ah...yeah. Breakfast?” he asks her.