The Eternal Present

Between Desire, Confusion, And regret

Time at Nikola Tesla University continued its steady course, days of lectures, projects, and long hours of study weaving seamlessly into the social life of the campus. Relationships among students shifted constantly, yet the trio of Andrey, Davide, and Gai seemed one of the most unshakable bonds within the faculty. Beneath the surface, however, Andrey’s emotions and inner conflicts had begun to stir.

It all began with the arrival of Nerea, a brilliant aerospace engineering student who quickly captured the attention of the university—and especially of Gai. Nerea was charismatic, passionate about her field, and, in the eyes of many, unattainable. Her academic brilliance, combined with her approachable nature, made her both respected and admired. For Gai, it was as though he had finally found someone who matched his intellect, someone who not only admired him but challenged him.

At first, Andrey observed the growing connection with curiosity and respect. Gai, his close friend, seemed genuinely interested in Nerea, and she appeared to reciprocate. There was no reason for Andrey to feel uneasy. Yet as the weeks passed and he saw them share more and more moments together, something within him began to shift.

Andrey had never paid much attention to romantic relationships, always absorbed in his studies and his passion for quantum physics. But Nerea’s presence unsettled that focus. He felt a strange attraction toward her—not merely for her beauty, but for her determination and the way she spoke of her career with such fervor. The problem was clear: his best friend was already moving steadily toward a relationship with her.

As time went on, this attraction did not fade; it grew stronger, accompanied by mounting frustration. Andrey began to feel smaller, more insecure. Gai’s brilliance, his effortless ability to draw people in—including women like Nerea—left Andrey feeling relegated to the shadows. Despite his academic achievements, he felt he could never compete in that other realm, the world of personal connections.

Caught in this storm of emotions, Andrey made one of the mistakes he would later regret most. In an attempt to conceal his feelings for Nerea and avoid conflict with Gai, he chose to use Eline, his old high school friend, as a shield. Eline had always been a genuine companion, someone with whom he shared a sincere bond. Yet Andrey began to hint to his friends that there might be something more between them, suggesting a romantic interest where none existed.

At first, the ruse seemed effective. Gai and Davide assumed Andrey was interested in Eline, which kept suspicion away from Nerea. But as months passed, the emotional burden of this lie began to weigh heavily on him. Though he had succeeded in diverting attention from his true feelings, he could not escape the guilt of using Eline in such a way.

The first academic year ended, and as summer break approached, Andrey realized the weight of his decision was greater than he had imagined. Each time he saw Eline, a pang of remorse struck him. She had no idea what was happening, and that ignorance made his guilt sharper. Instead of confronting his feelings, he chose to continue the charade, convinced it was better for everyone.

As the years advanced, Gai and Nerea’s relationship solidified. They were not officially a couple, yet their connection was evident to all. Each time Andrey saw them together, he felt a mixture of jealousy and regret. His friendship with Gai remained strong, but deep down, Andrey knew the lie about Eline was slowly consuming him.

Semester after semester, Andrey tried to focus on his studies and his growing fascination with quantum physics, but his mind always returned to the same question: how could he move forward knowing he had betrayed a close friend and deceived those he cared for most? Despite his efforts to bury it, the guilt only deepened with time.

By the third year, the breaking point arrived. During a lecture on quantum physics, Andrey found himself distracted, unable to concentrate. Images of Gai and Nerea, intertwined with memories of Eline, crowded his thoughts. The accumulated weight of the past years pressed down on him. In that moment, he realized he could not continue.

Regret had grown within him slowly, like a shadow that followed him everywhere. For years he had tried to ignore it, convinced he was protecting his friends from his own feelings. But now, after nearly three years of carrying the lie, Andrey understood he could not move forward without facing it.

One afternoon, walking through the corridors of the Hawking Library, Andrey paused to watch Gai and Nerea engaged in lively conversation. In the distance, Davide approached with a smile. Everything seemed so perfect, so harmonious—except for the knot in Andrey’s stomach.

At that moment, he knew what he had to do. It was no longer simply about confessing his feelings for Nerea or clarifying his relationship with Eline. It was about releasing the burden he had carried for so long, about ceasing to deceive himself and others. He knew it would not be easy, that confronting the truth might change everything. But he also knew it was the only way to find peace.

That night, Andrey sat alone in his room, staring at the ceiling. Regret had crept in slowly, but now it was impossible to ignore. He had spent years trying to protect his friendship with Gai and Davide, but in the process, he had betrayed Eline—and worse, himself. He knew that the next day he would have to face the truth. Though he feared the consequences, he also felt a strange sense of relief. At last, after so long, he was ready to confront his mistakes and do what was right.