The spirit of Èowyn

Chapter 11

Lucien

She took this much better than I had hoped. But it didn't escape me that she sounded worried at first, only to be reassured by what I told her I had seen. She was hiding something. 400 years of trained senses could tell me that easily. But I was going to ignore it for now, hoping that one day she would trust me enough to tell me on her own. Her eyes looked at me in wonder. "I can hardly believe it. You saved me. I would never have escaped if I hadn't gotten hold of that fire poke.” I squeezed her hand reassuringly while the thought of her not being able to escape gave me a sickening feeling. I didn't want my mind to even go there. "It was you who did the fighting. You who fought for freedom, for survival. You should be proud of yourself because the goddess knows I am. Nevertheless, from now on, you'll never have to fight again. I'm going to protect you, so no one will ever hurt you again. On that you have my word.” She looked down at our intertwined hands in what, hesitation?

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me." Her words came out as a whisper, barely audible, but I heard them none the less. She didn't meet my gaze and that sad demeanour fell over her once again. "Cain, he won't let me go that easily. He's vain and vindictive. I'm sure he already has scouts out looking for me. When he finds me, and he will, he'll hurt you to get to me. I can't let that happen. You should drop me back where you picked me up. Forget I exist.” Her words sent a fire of anger blazing through my body. Never would I turn my back on her or back down from a fight. I gripped her chin firmly to raise her gaze to meet mine. Whatever she saw made her eyes widen in surprise. I wasn't going to hide from her. Not my passion, my possessiveness, not my love. But neither my anger at my enemy nor my strength to be able to defend her. My supernatural strength had slowly returned since I found her. When that damn werewolf showed up, and she was definitely right that he would, I'd be ready.

“Don't ever tell me to forget your existence ever again. I have longed for you for 400 years. I'm powerful enough to take down a goddamn werewolf. I would never let you go for any reason other than that I made you unhappy. Is that why you want to leave because I make you unhappy?" Èowyn gasped in surprise. "What? No, I don't want to leave you. You're all I've ever wanted. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid you're too good to be true. And if you're true, I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you. I'm afraid of losing you at the same time as I'm afraid of being hurt. I know it doesn't make sense..”

Her rambling sentences continued, but I understood. I really did. I felt all the longing and fear she radiated. But for lack of words, I cupped her delicate face in my hands. She stopped speaking in surprise. But before she had time to say anything, I leaned forward and put my lips gently against hers in a soft, tender kiss. She tensed up, but quickly softened in my arms. Her plump lips were lovely. Soft with a hint of vanilla and strawberry flavours. I was already addicted and in need of more. much more.

My hand found the back of her neck, bringing her closer to me as I continued to enjoy the kiss, unable to pull back. Her low moan against my mouth made me painfully hard and I had to fight my urges to lay her down on the bed and take this further than I had intended to. I slowly pulled back, though my whole body ached with need. Her hands held a tight grip on my shirt as she looked up at me a bit hazed. She was so beautiful. I gave her one last quick peck on the mouth before caressing her cheek all while trying to gather what was left of my sanity. I felt almost intoxicated by a closed-mouth kiss, like an inexperienced youth. How could a simple kiss affect me so much?

“I don't know your story, but when you're ready I'll be here to listen to you tell it. I don't know how you and Cain met, but I do have a hunch about what happened after. I know he mentally and physically abused you. I know he cheated and forced you to watch like a sick game and I can only imagine how painful it must have been for you. We've checked out his pack and Damien will investigate it. We will not allow Cain's reign of terror to continue, I promise.” I began to reassure her, trying to figure out what I could say to make her understand that I would never do anything to hurt her. I'd rather stake myself.

I looked into her blue eyes that held so much pain and that glistened with unshed tears. "With your past, I understand it's hard for you to trust me. But at least let me tell you this. My parents were head over heels in love with each other. They were true mates and set the bar for what I wanted for myself. I've longed for you all my life. I'm going to admit that as a youngster I made mistakes. In retrospect, I would have done anything to undo it. It meant nothing.” I sighed and felt the regret eating at my soul. If I had known what my future beloved would go through before she met me, I would have kept myself pure as a flower so as not to give her a reason to distrust me. But I couldn't change the past no matter how much I wanted to. She intertwined our hands while urging me with her eyes to continue.

“What I wanted to say was that I haven't touched a woman in over 380 years. All I wanted was my beloved, even if I was forced to wait in solitude until I found you. You are the only woman I want, the only woman I will ever want. That will never change, of that, I am sure.” I looked at her with a more open expression than I had ever given anyone. I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore, not from her. “If your parents were the bar that set your standard, then why did you fool around with other women instead of looking for your beloved? I don't mean to judge you, I'm just curious.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair in resignation at what a can of worms this conversation had unleashed. “My parents died in an accident when I was 18. It left me to take on the family name and all it entailed while grieving the only family I had. And I was not ready to shoulder the responsibility that had befallen me. I had no one to confide in. I knew the other boys I went to school with. But I wasn't close to any of them. Anyway, I was persuaded by a classmate one night to come along to a party. That night I drank myself into oblivion. After that I continued, until the day I realized that every time I woke up emptier in my heart than the night before. That all my so-called friends wanted something from me because of my last name. That day I turned my back on all of them and set myself on a new path.” I explained before my gaze fell on our intertwined hands. She hadn't pulled back yet. Surely that must be a good sign?

Èowyn sighed, seeming to consider her words. “I'm sorry for your parents. I wish I could have met them." She spoke. That made me smile. They would have loved her no doubt. "But Lucien, I would never blame you for your past. All I care about is your future. Our future." My eyes widened at those words while my heart beat faster, a brand-new sensation I was yet to get used to. “Does that mean you're giving me.. us.. a chance, angel?” For the first time since I found her, she looked up at me with sparkling eyes and a smile graced her lips. All my rational thoughts disappeared. She was breathtaking. "Yes, Luci. I'll give you a chance. But my heart is fragile, so I beg you to be gentle with it.”