Doctor's Orders

How to Have a Happy k********g

Did I mention I am a pro at kidnappings? 

That came out wrong, sorry. 

I am decidedly not a pro at executing a k********g. When it comes to surviving one, though... Well, heed my advice. Here is a fun fact: 

Most kidnappings are over in under seven days. 

Whatever you think about criminals, most of them are just as anxious as you are. It's risky business to take another human being. This is not your sister stealing your favorite Barbie and threatening to chop her hair if you don't give her your cookies. 

Kidnappings are dangerous business. 

This is why most people who do them want two things: 

(a) the ransom

(b) to get rid of you quickly

Of course, this poses a problem. If your family is stubborn and dangerous like mine, the situation can drag out. The longer you stay with your kidnappers, the worse for you. If you make it to freedom, you would be able to identify them. Even if they blindfold or drug you, you'd have some clues as to who they were. In a police line-up, you would recognize them. 

Then again, my father doesn't do line-ups. What he would do to you... Not even the police can save you from it. 

Anyway, if kidn*pped, here is my number one tip: 

Do not let them drive away!

Duh... 

No, hear me out. Humans are stupid. They fall asleep in dark unlocked cars, giving criminals the perfect opportunity. But, if you find yourself in the situation in which I am now: 

Do. Not. Let. Them. Drive. Away. 

Jump out of the car (if they forgot to lock it) or cause a car crash. If you are in the front seat, the airbag will save your life. The shock from the crash will be enough distraction to help you escape your kidnappers. This gives you a much better shot at escaping than you will once they take you to their basement. 

So why aren't you doing that, you stupid girl? 

First, I need to orient myself. I also want to know if my kidnapper has any weapons, specifically a gun. 

'What do you want from me?' I ask her in the evenest tone I can muster. I try to ignore the small knot that is being tied in my stomach. This is going to be fine, I remind myself, you can't let yourself panic, though. 

The woman puffs out a big breath. She doesn't move her eyes from the road but I can see her body tense up. 

I remind myself to do a mental scan of my body, head to toe. Here is how it works: 

You take deep slow breaths. Then, you start observing your body. Do you notice any muscles tensing up? You breathe into the tension, releasing it. 

It's a great little technique if you have a big presentation coming up or if you're being kidn*pped by a stranger, taken away into the darkness. Panic and fear are not your friends. Relax your body and the mind will follow. 

I am clenching my jaw. My throat is tinier than usual, breath whistles as it comes in and out. I could also sit up straighter, open my eyes a little wider. Any detail I notice now can help me escape later. 

The woman is about Jana's height but much heavier, her fat spilling out of the driver's seat. She is wearing grey-ish sweatpants and a spaghetti strap top with jewels on it. There is no jacket. The only pockets she has are on the sweatpants. She couldn't have a gun there, could she? 

'I could pay you right now to release me, ' I say. Kidnappers just want your money, kidnappers just want your money, I repeat to myself. Even though in my case this is probably not true. I am a 'person of interest' for anyone engaged in shady business. They know that through me they could get my father to do anything, give up anything. After they are done, they would probably kill me. 

No, I refuse to think like this. This woman just saw a chance and she took it. Who knows what her life was like? Maybe she's desperate for the money. Certainly, she is desperate for the money. 

Another k********g fact for you: the perpetrators are usually male. And there would normally be a bunch of them. I guess today is my lucky day. Go women's right! Go feminism! Yay, a woman kidnapper. I wonder what must be going through her head right now. Why did she jump in the car? Does she know who I am? Probably not, hopefully not. 

'We arrived, little girl,' my kidnapper says. I almost jump at the sound of her voice. So far, she had been completely silent, focused on the road. 

But we aren't anywhere? I can see no lights outside of the car, just trees. She doesn't bother to explain herself. Instead, I feel a sharp pain under my left rib. 

'You like that, little girl?' she taunts. The blade has come out of nowhere. I am struggling to breathe, unable to understand what is going on. Blood gushes out and I gasp. It's real, this is actually happening. 

She stabbed me and we're in the middle of nowhere. I die here if so she wants.  I thought this was a k********g, she is not supposed to make an attempt on my life, why the hell is she doing that, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts so bad... 

'Oh, you must be wondering why I did this?' the woman sneers. 'What's the matter, little girl, you don't recognize me?'

I desperately try to recognize her. Not that it will do me any good. I feel the blood spilling out of me, now slower, in small dark red droplets around the knife.  

'Your precious father,' the woman says, her hand still firmly on the knife handle. 'I suppose you know he has murdered many people. Well, he shouldn't have touched my son.'

My eyes widen and I can feel the blood draining out of my face. Then again, this is to be expected. I grow weaker by the minute and I am losing more and more blood. I would be dead soon, I know it. 

'He will kill you, too,' I manage to hiss. My voice breaks a little.

'You think I care about this, little girl?' she laughs. Her teeth glare in the night, a vicious and vindictive glare. 'I have nothing left to live for. I will embrace death like an old friend knowing that I've taken the only thing he has ever truly loved!' 

Pain, pain, pain, and blood, and darkness. 

'Well, goodbye then, little girl,' the woman says, almost happily. 

She kicks me out of the car. For split, blissful second there is nothing. No pain, no nothing, I am flying through the cool air of the night. Then, I crash on the ground. My bones c***k on impact and the knife (she left the knife, she really left the knife) pushes even deeper inside of me. My face burns with the scratches from the impact. 

The car engine starts. Why wouldn't she come to see what she's done? Why not take full pleasure in my dying body? Instead, the woman drives off. Laying face down on the asphalt, I don't see the car going away. I hear it, though. I wish I could lift my eyes and watch her. I wish I could turn around and watch the stars or the trees, or even just the darkness. I am denied even this small mercy. So here I lay, paralyzed, face glued to the dirty asphalt. 

When I was a kid, I was afraid of the darkness. I think all children are. They think something might be hiding in there. So really, you're not afraid of the darkness. You are afraid of what hides in the darkness. You are afraid it might come out and harm you. 

But as I lay dying, I know there isn't anything that could harm me. For the first time, the darkness isn't an enemy, it's a sweet friend. My only friend, really, my only company as I descend into the nothingness. 

The night covers me like a soothing blanket. They say you shouldn't let yourself fall asleep. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how sweet the embrace of unconsciousness, don't fall asleep. 

I shrug and take one last gurgling breath. The darkness mercifully engulfs me. 

*          *           *

Silk. Dark blue silk. It smells clean and hugs my body gently. 

What? Is this heaven? 

I open my eyes fully. As consciousness slowly returns, I realise I'm very far from heaven. Dull but powerful pain has grasped my entire abdomen. I groan softly and try to pull myself up on the bed. To no avail, it hurts too much to move even an inch. 

It's definitely not heaven, then. 

I smirk to myself, remembering how they described heaven to us in Catholic school. It's a place where there is no pain and suffering, only joy. And you're joyful because you're not alone, you are in the company of all your beloved beings. 

I guess I'm very far away from heaven, then. 

Otherwise, it's a beautiful room. My bed sits in the center, huge and fitted with these expensive sheets. Above me hangs a chandelier, a proper crystal chandelier, the type you would find in five-star hotels or mafia boss bedrooms. And yes, I know this from experience (though my own bedroom back home isn't nearly as lavish). 

I turn my head and try to examine the rest of the room. 

The walls are also dark blue with two gigantic mirrors hanging on either side of the room. It makes the space look even bigger. I notice my own reflection in there and gasp at how skinny I look. You just survived a stabbing, it's normal not to look your best!

And then, suddenly, I notice someone else in the reflection. A tall man has been standing in the corner, silently observing me all this time. 

'Welcome back to the living,' he says. He must have realized I saw him.

'Who are you?' I ask, trembling. I don't know this voice but it's thick and velvety, and threatening. He doesn't sound like one of my father's men. 

'The man who saved your life,' he responds and rises from the chair. He takes his time walking over to the bed and leans over me. I immediately notice his striking blue eyes and the dangerous glare in them as he continues: 

'And I am also your new master.'