In Another Life

Waking Up in a Strange Land

I woke up feeling warm and cozy. I snuggled deeper into my blankets, then realized my dogs weren’t in bed with me. I sat up to see if they were in the living room with my husband, but as I sat up I saw I was most certainly not in my bedroom. I jumped up and looked around. Oh my god, I’m at mine and lyssa’s old apartment. Realizing this, I hesitantly walk to the bathroom attached to my room. Everything is exactly how I remember. All of my stuff is there, my toothbrush, my jewelry box. So weird. I brush my teeth and throw my hair in a bun. I open the closet and find all my clothes, so I grab a sweater and head out to the living room. A quick peek in the kitchen showed either Lyssa wasn’t home or wasn’t there. I peek out the windows and see Lyssa’s car- and my old truck! If everything else wasn’t so bizarre, I’d be so happy to see my truck again!

I made a pot of coffee, while waiting for Lyssa to get up. I grabbed a cup and sat on the couch, curled up in a fuzzy blanket. I let about an hour pass before I went and knocked on her door. A very groggy Lyssa opened the door and greeted me with a groan. She slid past me and dipped into the hallway bathroom. I smiled and walked back to the kitchen to wait for her. I hopped up and was sitting on the counter when she walked in.

“Morning.” She says.

“Good morning! Hey so, uh, what are we doing here?” I say, trying not to sound weirded out.

She looked at me for a moment, with one eyebrow raised, “well we’re having coffee right now. And then we both need to get to work.”

I nodded, turning away. I must still be dreaming? I got ready for work and then met Lyssa back in the living room.

“Do you wanna take my car or yours?” She asks.

“Uhm..” I stall, thinking, so we still work at the same place? “We’ll take my truck.”

She just nods and finishes tying her shoe. I find my purse where I always used to leave it and my keys were in there. Suddenly, very excited to drive my truck (which, by the way, I had sold two years ago), I skipped back to Lyssa, who was just standing up. “Come on, then!”

She laughed and followed after me. We both hop up in my truck, and my heart feels full as I start up the Diesel engine. She grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from my center console and lit two up, handing one to me. I quit smoking nearly five years ago, so I hesitated, but then thought, well, it’s just a dream, right? And I take a gentle drag- and it was heavenly. Like I never quit. A short drive later and I pull up to Home Depot, which I’m assuming is where we work, judging from the timeline. She didn’t question it, just hopped out, finishing her cigarette and walking into the store. I follow closely behind, saying hello to a few people I recognized, and also some that I didn’t recognize. It took a few tries to find my locker, but I finally got it and clocked in. As I was putting on my apron, I noticed Lyssa looking at me funny.

“What?” I say to her, smiling.

“Are you okay? You seem weird today.” She smiles back, but suspiciously.

“I’m great!” I grin at her, and she shakes her head in response.

“Well, have fun mixing paint all day! See you at lunch.” She waves as she dips out.

Okay, cool so I’m working in the paint department. This will be fun! I kind of miss paint. My thoughts ramble for a minute as I walk that way. Then I accidentally bump into someone. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” I turn and look and the man I bumped into is my old friend James. We used to be SO close, he was one of my very best friends! Well, friends with benefits actually. We fell out of touch a few years ago, so seeing him is so nice. “James!!” I wrap him up in a big hug.

“Harmony!” He says, trying to match my energy, but clearly confused.

“It’s so nice to see you!” I smile, then I remember I’m in some weird funky timeline dream, “I mean, you know,” I suddenly go totally blank, looking in his eyes.

He laughs heartily and puts his arm around my shoulders, walking with me towards paint, “you’re in a good mood today, little one.”

I grin at him, “I really am, today is a good day! And I’m older than you so you know, you’ll always be the little one.”

“You know I’ll always win,” he leans in and whispers to me, sending chills all over my skin.

I stop in my tracks and stare at him, before smiling back at him, “never.” I start to back away, before shooting him a quick wink and trotting off.

Well that was a blast from the past. The day goes on perfectly normally, and I meet Lyssa in the break room for lunch. She’s already there when I come in and clock out, and she looks flustered.

“Hey, is everything okay?” I ask her as we walk out, and I catch James’ eye. She looks over as James starts to walk over.

“Yeah it’s just,” she pauses, James and I both c**k our heads, “ugh it’s Tim.” Suddenly I feel dizzy. Oh my god. Tim? What is he doing in this timeline? I can tell some things are different now, but most things are the same so figuratively, he should be single. The thought of him being available suddenly makes the blood rush to my head.

“Earth to Walker!” I hear James say through my fog. I shake my head and zone back in. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” I nod.

He wraps my arm around his and walks with Lyssa and I to the door. “Look, we can both see how much like Tim, clearly. You can talk to us about it.”

“Yeah, you know, you two should just talk to each other.” Lyssa says, laughing a bit, “just get me out of the middle.”

That’s when it dawns on me. Tim and I haven’t been together. Holy s**t, how do I look at him? Knowing how in love we were, knowing what happened to us. How am I supposed to look him in the eye, or even hear his voice without breaking? I realize I’m zoning out again. “So you were saying something’s up with him?”

James stops at the door and waves goodbye to us. She looks over to me as we walk out to my truck, “yeah, he’s been super weird today. He booked a plane ticket out here. He wants to stay with us.” My heart leaps into my throat.

“Wh-when?”

“That’s the thing, he bought a ticket for tonight! How weird is that?”

We hop in my truck and I try with everything I have to get out a “yeah, super weird.”

“He’s just dropping everything, it’s odd. And hey look, I know you two have the hots for each other or whatever, but are you okay with this? You know, him staying with us?” I think for a minute as she hands me a smoke. I take a deep, long drag, thinking of all the nights we spent together. All the hours we spent texting, and on the phone. I finally force a nod, not trusting my voice. She shakes her head, “it’s just so weird, right?”

“Yeah.” I say quietly. Her phone rings and my stomach turns.

She shows me the screen- it’s Tim. “Hello?” I hear him talking on the other line, “alright, when do you land in Phoenix?” He says a few more things as we pull up to Taco Bell and I park. “Hold on, I’m gonna put you on speaker, I’m with Harmony.” I hear him shout something really fast, then she clicks it on speaker. “I was gonna tell you two to just exchange numbers but I guess you coming here is much better!” He laughs a little and my heart flutters. “So, Tim’s coming in at 10, so we should get there just in time if we leave work right away, are you okay with coming with me?” She looks at me, awaiting response.

It takes everything I have but I manage to say, “yeah of course, I’ll drive.”

“Wait, Lyssa,” Tim says, “Harmony…” he trails off, it’s like I can feel my name on his lips. I can tell there’s something in his voice, “I was, uh, I was wondering if Harmony would come get me herself? If that’s not too weird?”

Lyssa and I quickly look at each other and she squeals, then looks at me expectantly. “Oh uh, yeah of course!”

“Okay, great. I can’t wait.” I can hear his smile, and it makes me grin.

“Aww y’all are cute.” Lyssa says, “anyway, we’re gonna go get lunch! Harmony will see you at 10.”

“See you then, Timothy.” I say.

There’s a long pause, then he finally says “see you then, Harmony.”

“Goodbye, big brother.” Lyssa hangs up and gawks at me, “uhhh what just happened?!” She smiles.

“Well I think I got a date for tonight.” I smile, partly because that felt very quick-witted, but mostly because oh my god I am gonna see Tim tonight!

“Uh YEAH! Come on, let’s hit the drive thru and head back!”

We swing through the drive thru and then head back to work. We eat as we walk in. I light up a smoke as Lyssa hops up, “where you goin?”

“I have something I need to do before we clock in,” she says smiling, “I’ll see you in a bit!”

“Kay bye?” I call out at her as she walks away. I finish my cigarette and then head inside and clock back in. A couple hours go by then Lyssa comes running up.

“C’mon, we gotta go!” She says, grabbing my hand.

“Go? I still have three hours left in my shift!” I protest, before one of my coworkers walk up.

“No ma’am, I talked to Nikki about our family emergency, how we gotta take off to head to the airport. I got us covered, babe!” She pulls me away.

“Lyssa, what have you done?” I say quietly and we walk off to clock out.

“You’re gonna meet Tim in person tonight. ALONE!” She says quietly, leaning into me, “we have to get you all dolled up!”

I shake my head and smile, and as we turn the corner, we run into James. I laugh out loud, “wow I keep literally running into you today! I’m so sorry!”

He smiles, “it’s fine, really. Hey you guys wanna have some drinks after work?”

Lyssa grabs his arms and grins, “we can’t! Tim’s coming into town and Harmony’s gonna pick him up from the airport!”

I see a hint of sadness in his eyes, but he smiles, “oh that’s great! Let me know how it goes.” As he walks away, he runs his hand across my lower back, giving me chills. Wow, I forgot what it felt like to be flirty and have more than one person into you! I smile, watching him walk away.

“Okay I’m gonna ignore that,” Lyssa says pulling me away, “I know you and James have a ‘thing’ going on but I can see how you feel about Tim. Give him a chance.”

I smile at her as we clock out, “I swear to you, tonight, I’m all Tim’s.” We walk out to my truck and I speed off. When we get home, we have a little under two hours til I have to leave.

“Stay here! I’m gonna find something super sexy for you to wear!” Lyssa runs off into my room.

I sit on the couch and open my phone as I wait. I go to Tim’s f*******:, just to look at him for a minute. Then I think of my husband. Even in my dreams I miss him. I go to find his f*******:, but we’re not friends. Oh that’s right, technically we haven’t met yet, huh? Just then, Lyssa runs out and throws some clothes at me. “Try that on first! If that doesn’t feel right, I have one more.”

I slip into my room and get dressed in the first outfit. It’s a pair of distressed black skinny jeans, a tight and fitted red top with a deep neckline, and a shiny gold belt. I walk out and present myself to Lyssa. “Oh wow. That would look so good with some white shoes, damn momma!” She smiles and then throws something else at me, “okay just for kicks, try that on!” I turn back around and change into outfit two. It’s a stunning tight black dress, and somehow it fits perfectly. I walk out slowly, smiling. “Oh my god! That’s it! Wear that!!” She grins at me, clapping.

I smile and look down, “I know, I love it too. But what shoes should I wear with this?”

She thinks for a minute then jumps up and runs to her room, before coming back a couple seconds later with gold converse shoes. “These would look awesome.” Next she curls my hair and does my makeup. Before we know it, it’s just past eight, and it’s time to go. Lyssa gives me a huge hug. “Are you ready?” She smiles at me.

“I don’t know. I mean, yes, I just,” I pause, “what if he doesn’t like me?”

She laughs out loud, “then he’s lost his damn mind. He’s gonna love you.”

Yeah, no kidding. I nod my head and smile. “Okay, I’m gonna go.”

“Drive safe!!” She waves as I walk out the door.

The whole hour and a half long drive, my hands are sweaty, my heart is pounding. I keep reminding myself that it’s just a dream and I don’t need to be so nervous. I pull up to the airport with ten minutes to spare. I park and then head to the arrivals to meet him. Lyssa texts me to let me know he’s gotten off the airplane and he’s headed my way. I wait for what feels like hours, and then- I see him. It’s him, the same Timothy I knew. I smile, despite my heart beating out of my chest. He walks up to me, quicker than I would have thought. He drops his bag on the floor, picks me up and holds me tight against him. I can feel his heart pounding. The second he touches me, my skin erupts on fire. As he sets me down, I go to pull back, but he laces his fingers in my hair and pulls my face to his, pulling me into a deep, passionate kiss. I feel my face flush, but like it’s the most natural thing in the world, I embrace him and return the kiss. Pulling him tight against me. For a moment, time stands still. It feels like the whole airport is empty besides Tim and I. The feeling of his lips against mine, all I can think of is our past- or rather, the future. I think of the first night we slept together, and I melt into his kiss. When he finally pulls apart, he presses his forehead against mine, and takes a moment to stare into my eyes, and I let myself get lost in his crystal blue eyes. After a moment, he closes his eyes and rubs his nose against mine.

“Harmony.” He whispers my name.

I grin. It feels so good to hear my name on his lips. “Timothy.”

“God it feels so good to hear you say my name.” He smiles.

“I feel exactly the same way.” I grab his hand and walk backwards pulling him toward me. He picks up his bag, we get outside and I lead him to my truck. He throws his bag in the back and we get in the truck. He leans over and kisses me passionately again. I revel in it, taking in the feel of his lips.

“Harmony, I need to tell you something.” He says, pulling apart abruptly.

“What, is something wrong?” I say, trying not to frown.

He shakes his head, “I don’t know. When I woke up this morning,” he trails off, searching for words.

I decide to take a risk. “You woke up in a different time? And everything’s different?” Please laugh and say I’m crazy.

He looks at me and stares for a moment. Then my heart sinks as he nods, “my family was gone. Marie, she has my daughter,” he pauses and shakes his head, “but she doesn’t even know who I am.”

“Oh, Tim,” I put my hand on his, “I woke up in mine and Lyssa’s apartment. My husband has no idea who I am. I thought,” I pause and gently pull my hand away.

“You thought it was a dream? Yeah,” he laughs softly, “yeah, me too.” He looks over at me and pulls my hand back to his, smiling. “I realized that everything was way too real. Then I realized that you and I would have just met. I don’t know how long we’ll be here. So whatever time I have, we have, I wanted to spend it with you.”

I pause, and take a moment to think before speaking. “Why me?”

He squeezes my hand, “I have a lot of apologizing to do. Most days, I wish I’d never left you. I never, ever, stopped loving you.”

And there it is. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I throw myself across my truck, over my center console, and into his lap. He catches me, and pulls me tight against him, kissing me deeply. “I feel the same way, Timothy. I’ve always said a part of me will always love you but when I realized that this was a timeline we were both single, I felt every inch of my body longing for you.”

I can feel him shaking underneath me. I press my hand to his chest and feel his heart racing, his lips barely touching mine. He groans softly against my mouth then whispers, “we need to get home. Or get somewhere more private.” I open my eyes to see him staring hungrily at me. I smirk and kiss him deeply again, his hands exploring my sides and back. Then I pull away and climb back in the drivers seat.

“Let’s get going then.” I take off, flooring it back out of the city. I smoke to pass the time and keep my hands busy. Which I can’t say as much for Tim, whose hands find my bare legs quickly, inching dangerously higher. We get about halfway home before I can’t take it anymore. I pull my truck over down a dirt road off the highway. I hop out without saying a word. As I walk around the back towards his side, he jumps out himself, walking quickly towards me. We meet near the tailgate on the passenger side.

He grabs me and pushes me against my truck, kissing me hard and deep. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him grabbing his hair and returning the intense kiss. He lowers my tailgate and sets me down, my legs still wrapped tightly around his hips. I push my body against him as he runs his hands up my sides, then one hand travels all the way back down, then up my thigh, under my dress. I moan in his mouth and slide my hands under his shirt, pulling him closer. His hand works it’s way between my legs, dangerously close. I lean my head back and melt in his hands. His free hand grabs a handful of my hair and tips my head back gently, then he whispers in my ear, “are you sure you want to do this?”

I can feel my body screaming. Breathlessly I reply, “wh-what? Of course, I want this more than anything.” I meet his intense gaze and kiss him deeply before gently pulling back, “why, are you, like, second guessing this?”

“No!” He yells, louder than expected, “I’m sorry, I just, no. I want this so f*****g bad. I just, I want this to be special. At any moment, we could zap back to our old lives. I don’t want to miss a thing, but I want to savor every moment.” He gently rubs my leg as he talks.

“I understand. Let’s get back to my place then.” I smile and pull him in for a sweet, deep kiss. He tastes so good. Kissing him feels better than I ever remember. We fix our clothes and get back in my truck. As I start the engine, I hear him sigh and look over. “What’s wrong?”

“Maybe while you’re driving we should talk about things.” He says, and I notice him trying not to look at me.

“Okay. I think that’s a good idea. Do you wanna go first, or do you want me to?” I put the truck in drive and take off.

“Uh, I want to start, but I want to see what you need to say first, so I can answer any questions. I know now I was the one in the wrong.”

I nod, “okay. So first of all, for a long time I hated you for what you did. I was really reckless for a long time. I did a lot of dangerous things, and things I wish more than anything i could take back. But through it all I never stopped loving you. I forgave you years ago, but I never fully understood why you left me. So my only real question for you is, why?”

He inhaled sharply and lets his breath out slowly, “I was scared. I know it sounds like bullshit, but it’s the truth. I was terrified about how much I loved you, and I was dealing with some pretty bad ptsd. I was miserable any time I wasn’t talking to you, and I could feel it getting worse. I didn’t want to drag you down with me. So, I walked away.”

I nodded, but I already knew all that. “Why didn’t you breakup with me face to face? Or even over the phone? You texted me. And then that was it, I must have texted you a dozen times before I gave up. Why couldn’t you have given me that courtesy, or closure?”

“Well, to answer that first part, I couldn’t have done it if I saw your face or heard your voice. If I saw you cry, because of me, I would have taken it back instantly and been back to square one. That’s why I texted you. And I couldn’t reply because I was, well, destroying my house. I threw everything I could lift, I took out boundless anger on my surroundings. If I replied it would have been nonsense, so I didn’t. Every single text from you made my heart ache, but I couldn’t. And I didn’t want to give you closure on purpose. I didn’t want it closed. I always planned to come back to you, if you would take me. But,” he paused.

“But then you met Marie?”

“Then I met Marie.” He shakes his head, “she was- sweet. And I thought she could bring me closer to god and that might help me heal. But, first of all, she turned out to be the exact opposite of sweet. And secondly, church and finding god did nothing to help me. Everyone at the church was condescending, no one I tried to talk to understood me or my problems. I was planning my breaking it off when she told me she was pregnant and I couldn’t,” he trails off and rubs his face.

I reach over and put my hand on his, “I know. You always told me if you ever got a girl pregnant you’d stay with her for the kid no matter what. I just feel awful that you’ve been through all that.”

He nods, “yeah. It’s definitely been a lot. And I gotta be honest, when I heard you met a guy who stole your heart, and you were gonna get married, I became a shell for a while. That’s actually why Marie and I split up for a while. One day she confronted me and asked why I was being so miserable, and I said, quote, ‘my ex is in love and I can’t stand the fact that the man she’s marrying isn’t me’.”

I swallow a laugh, “wow, how’d that go?”

“She kicked me out,” he chuckles, “she couldn’t believe I admitted to her that I was still in love with you. But I’d do it again every time. Part of me will always wish I had come to you and made you mine.”

I squeeze his hand, my heart fluttering as I pull into town. “Well we’re almost there. I forgive you for everything. All I want to do now is be in the moment with you.”

“I agree,” he nods.

We sit in a comfortable silence for the last few moments as I pull up to my house. The lights are on, which means Lyssa’s still up. I sigh and share a look with him. “Let’s go face the music.” He nods and we walk inside. Lyssa jumps up and runs over to hug her brother.

“Tim!” She smiles and pulls away, “how was the drive?”

“Amazing,” he smiles at me, his fingers brushing my hip lightly, “could have been a lot shorter though. I’m exhausted.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah that’s fine, do you want the couch? Or I could always bunk with Harmony and you can take my room?”

He looks at me, then back at Lyssa, “if she’s comfortable with it, I’d actually like to take Harmony’s bed.” I smile and shake my head.

“Tim! You can’t ask her to give up her room!” She smacks his arm.

“Uh, I’m not.” He smirks.

She looks at him for a minute, then over to me, smiling when she sees my face. “Ah, I get it. Well, you two go have fun then. Try to uh, keep it down though? For me?”

I hug her tight, “I love you.”

She squeezes me back, “yeah I love you too. And you’re welcome!” And with that, she trots into her room and closes the door.

I barely get to turn back to Tim before he picks me up and kisses me, carrying me to my room. He closes my door with his foot and sets me on my bed, then backs up and locks the door, never taking his eyes off me. He closes the distance between us and kisses me deeply, his hands feeling my body. He pulls off my dress, and I pull off his shirt. My fingers trace down his chest, past his stomach and find his belt, unbuckling it and letting his pants fall to the floor. He slides me further onto the bed, leaning forward and kissing my legs. I pull him on the bed and on top of me, then into a kiss. His tongue dances with mine, and I melt into the bed. Finally, he unclips my bra, grabbing my breasts. Then he pulls off my underwear, slipping out of his, and he hovers slightly above me.

“Are you sure about this?” He says breathlessly, stroking my hair.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

And with that, he enters me, gently rocking against me. I can feel our hearts beating together. We make love for a while, then when we’re done, I cuddle against him. Feeling so safe, I drift off to sleep.