Undoubtedly Yours

Chapter 13

Dean

"Welcome to my humble abode.", I hear Hope say. I feel my palms getting sweaty and my heart trying to come out of my chest. I was teasing her and everything was fine, but the moment she asked me to join her I felt air being sucked out of me. My brain was completely disconnected with my body from that is the only explanation I can come up with when I think about what I am doing here. Tea, we are supposed to have some tea, but beverages are the last thing on my mind right now. It does not help that the only thing I can think about is when she last invited me for tea. It led to a heavy makeout session on her couch. That was also the first night we kissed, and I cannot think about a single thing other than that night right now.

"Let me give you a tour.", I hear Hope say after a while. I turn towards her and notice she has put away her purse and has removed her heels and is now barefoot with one foot resting on the other and my throat becomes dry. I nod my head because I cannot say anything and remove my shoes and put my hand out for her to lead the way. She smiles at me and shows me her apartment. It's a one bedroom with nice big windows, no doubt bringing in daylight as she likes. She always used to love the daylight where she lived. I see there is a couch and a nice tv along with a little fireplace in the living room and the kitchen is open next to the living room with a table for four set up on one side by the window with a great view of the city. "It's so you. You always liked daylight at your place. This is very nice and cozy Hope.", I tell her after looking at everything.

"Well, thanks, it took a little more than two weeks to make it cozy, but I love it. And towards the end of the hallway is my bedroom.", she says, while avoiding my eyes. I smile inwardly thinking she is as uncomfortable as I am, which helps settle my nerves a bit. "Can we see it or does that make you uncomfortable?", I ask her, making an innocent face. She looks at me and is almost glaring, but her cheeks are a little pink, which I love. She pffts and huffs out, "Ofcourse not. Why would it make me uncomfortable? I was just giving you time to look around is all." She starts walking towards her room and looks over her shoulder at me and catches me staring at her. "Well, are you going to follow me or just stand there standing?"

There is something about Hope that she cannot back down from a face off. She found an opportunity to call me out after I teased her and she took it. I chuckle and walking to her I say, "The view isn't bad at all, so I don't mind staring, but, lead the way. I will follow this time." She just shakes her head without saying anything and walks to her room with me close behind. When we enter the bedroom, I see she has made the bedroom cozy as well. There are tree lights hanging by her bed, with a couple of paintings above her king bed which sits in the middle of the room. There is a mountain of pillows on the bed, which I know she loves. I look at the wall on the side and there are a bunch of pictures. "What are those?", I ask her and see her face pale a little.

"Those are just some pictures that I had. Let's go sit on the couch.", she says hurriedly in attempt to deflect the conversation, but I am walking towards the photo collage she has on the wall. I look at all the pictures and there are a few pictures of the two of us, some which I also have, where we look like we are falling in love. I can't help but frown when I think she has all this and still walked away from me. I turn to look at her, and she is looking everywhere else but me. "You are still hanging on to these? Why?", I cannot help myself and ask her. She starts wringing her hands together in front of her and I see her turmoil on her face, but I am not going to back out this time. I am ready to wait, but I need to know if what I am thinking is right or not. I wait for her to say something, but she doesn't, so I say, "Look at me Hope." She looks at me and I ask again, "Tell me why?"

"Dean, what do you want me to say? Would you believe me if I told you that I am still where I was back in college and looking at these photos keeps me going? Would you believe me when I tell you that I have not had any friends or relationships since I left here? Would you believe me when I tell you that after leaving here, the first year I was away, I almost ended my life? Would you believe all that Dean?", she says, her voice cracking with each question. She has one hand on her stomach and one hand in front of her mouth and is trying hard to control the sob that is coming out of her. "I don't know why you are being so nice to me, but I wanted it to last but I know it is not going to last. I know deep down you are angry, and it is going to come out sometime. I was just trying to savor the fun we were having before you realize you hate me. I should have known it will not last."

I have no idea what she is saying right now, but I cannot stay away when she is like this, so I do what my heart tells me at that moment and go to her. I hold her face in my hands and wipe away her tears with my thumbs and I cannot help but think that she takes my breath away. "Please don't cry. I am not going anywhere. I will stay right here and be with you until you are ready to share your burden with me.", I put my head on her forehead as I spoke and kiss her forehead. She closes her eyes and when she opens them and looks at me, I am knocked on my a*s. There are so many emotions in her eyes that I cannot help but just do what I have wanted to do since I saw her. I bend down and kiss her lips softly. I pull back to look at her, and she has her eyes closed, but she leans towards me. This time, I move my hands into her hair and pull her hair back and tilt her face towards me.

I wait for her to open her eyes again, so I can see in her eyes that this is okay. She looks at me and then puts a hand on my chest and that is all the sign I need. I crash my lips on hers and I don't know who moans first. My tongue comes out, and she opens her mouth to welcome it. Our tongues are dancing together, and she has wrapped her arms around my neck now. My hands move from her hair to her waist where I hold her tight. We are both breathless but don't want to let each other go. When we finally let go of each other, we look at each other with our chests rising and falling. "Hope, I did not come here for this.", I tell her as I kiss her cheek and jaw. She tilts her head to give me access and says, "I know, but I don't care." She turns her head and kisses me again, and this time I lift her up, and she wraps her legs around me. I push her into the wall behind her and ask, "Are you sure about this? I don't have any self-control when it comes to you, so you have to be the one to back out."

She pulls back and looks into my eyes and says, "I will not back out from us ever again. I am sorry for leaving like that, Dean, and I promise I will tell you everything soon, and then you can decide if you want to stay or back out." "Never.", I tell her and dive in to kiss her again. I cannot get enough of her, and I am scared she is going to get scared, but the way she is responding tells me she has missed me just as much if not more. "Hope, before we continue I need to ask you something.", I tell her and I feel her stiffen in my arms.