“Whoa. She didn’t, like, really do that, did she?” Doug stared at him.
Mitch shrugged. “Dunno. I wasn’t there. Wouldn’t put it past her.” He heaved a sigh. “We’re going to have to break up.”
Doug was still staring. “You and the cat?”
Mitch made a face. “No! Me and my boyfriend. Well, he’s not really my boyfriend,” he amended sadly. “We haven’t even had s*x yet. Because of the cat. His cat. She’s his cat. And she hates me. And he loves her better.”
“Oh. Yeah, that sucks,” Doug said. “Me and my girlfriend broke up because of that. The ferrets, I mean. She didn’t have a cat. But, uh, yeah. She preferred the ferrets.”
“I’m very sorry to hear that,” Mitch said sincerely. “I’m sure you’re at least as attractive as a ferret.”
“Thanks,” Doug said.
“I wish I had a ferret,” Mitch said wistful
