First Heartbreak

Chapter Twenty-One - It's Complicated

Sam's POV

Thank heavens for weekends!

I excused myself from class yesterday. I gave the teacher a dumb excuse just to get out of class and head home right away. I had to get away! This isn't right! But at the back of my mind, I couldn't forget the memory of her lips that touched mine. I knew I couldn't deny it to myself any longer. I was in-love with Zen! Gasp.

Just when I thought I could get stillness when I got into my room, the phone rang. When I answered it, Vanessa was on the other line.

"Hey! Why'd you go home early?" she asked.

"I wasn't feeling good right after I saw the blood out of Zen's hand", I lied. Zen was right, I was a terrible liar.

"Are you sure?" answered Vanessa who sounded suspicious.

"Yes I'm sure. I even asked the nurse if I could go home because I didn't like the sight of blood", I lied some more.

"Really? For all I know Sam, you're one of the very few people I knew who has a stomach at the sight of blood!" she said. Which was true. "Heck! You wouldn't even throw-up at the sight of it even if you're eating a full meal!"

"I...I guess I don't have the guts at all."

"Hmm. Something's up. You're lying to me Sam", Vanessa was still apprehensive.

"I'm fine Ness. I was just a dizzy. The nurse told me to go home and get some rest." I tried to sound firm.

"Alright. But if you ever need me, I'm just a message away, 'kay?"

"I know Ness."

"I'll drop by later at your store to hand you the homework that Mrs. Bernardine told us to research over the weekend." What would I do without Vanessa? "You get some rest, okay?"

"Yes, I will. Thanks Ness!"

"Sure! That's what best friends are for, right?" she paused. "I gotta go Sammy girl. I've got some cleaning to do, see ya Monday!" and she hang-up the phone.

"Bye" I whispered and let myself fall on the bed just near the telephone.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This isn't right. What about Melody? One of us is going to get hurt! And my conscience couldn't bear it if Melody was the one who was going to get hurt. I would get by if it was me. It's just. This shouldn't be.

I knew I was drifting to sleep when I heard the phone rang again. I didn't wanted to answer because I knew it was just Vanessa. She's so irritable at times. The ringing ended.

Then it rang again a couple of times. I ignored it some more until the ringing was now annoying.

I picked it up.

"You know Ness, how could I get some rest if you keep on calling me especially when I'm about to drift off in my sleep?" I sounded vexed.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't knew you were sleeping", answered a strangely familiar voice.

"Zen?" it's been a long time since I last heard her voice over the phone.

"Yeap, it's me babe!" I could feel her smiling.

"Don't call me that!" I furrowed my brows.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because we're not a couple! We never are! We never were! We never will be!" I yelled.

"Huh. Why do you keep on denying your feelings for me Sam? When it's all clear that what happened earlier was magical?"

I didn't said anything. She was right. How could I explain to myself what happened earlier?

"I..I...I-I was shocked and was caught in the moment. I didn't knew what to do because I was crying and I couldn't even move away from you even if I tried because I was drained from crying", I defensively replied.

"Oh come on Sam! Don't to this to me! Now that I've finally proven that you have feelings for me too!" she sounded angry.

"What about Mel, huh? How about her feelings? Have you thought about her feelings too?" I cried. "She's your girlfriend Zen, for Christ sake!"

"So? I don't love her as much as I love you!"

"Stop it! Stop that! Don't say that!"

"Why? Why won't you believe me that what I'm saying is true?"

"Because it's wrong! And it shouldn't be this way!" I could feel my eyes starting to water from all the emotions.

"Why is it wrong when I have loved you even from the beginning, Sam? Why is it wrong when I choose to love you over Mel!?"

I didn't replied.

"Come on, Sam! Don't do this to me...please?" her voice was piteous.

"I... I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Melody. She's my friend." I was torn.

"Then we won't let her know! We'd go about our daily lives up until graduation and when we're at high school, we'll go to the same school so we'd be together! She'll never find out!" she suggested.

"That's easier said than done, Zen. Don't you think it's unfair on Melody's part? Her not knowing what's going on?"

"It's not going to be unfair if she doesn't find out! What's more unfair is that you didn't gave me the chance when I confessed to you, Sam!"

"I...I know. And I admit I was wrong. But this isn't the solution, Zen! We can't do this! I can't do this to Mel!" I cried.

"Aw, don't cry baby. You know I hate to hear you cry."

"Then let's not do what you're suggesting. I don't want to become the bad guy here."

She laughed. "You won't become the bad guy, babe! You're the damsel! You've always been the damsel. Not in distress really, but, the damsel." She said putting the stress on damsel so she'd get her point. "I promise it'll all be okay. I'll think of way of breaking the news to Melody. Would you just please trust me?"

I took a deep silent breath. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay I'm accepting what you're proposing as a 'temporary' solution". I gave up. There was no use arguing with her.

"That's my girl!"

"Hey! Don't call me that! We are not even official yet!"

"Aww, come on babe! We kissed! And it isn't official yet?" I could tell she was grinning by now.

"Yes we kissed but that just made me the 'mistress' or something!"

She laughed again. "Babe, you're hilarious! You're so definitely not a mistress because first of all, it was you who first captured my heart."

I blushed.

"You're blushing right now, aren't you?"

"I am not!"

"Again babe, you're a bad liar." she laughed.

"Please don't call me that." I rolled my eyes. "That's what you call Melody." I reminded her.

"Oh, I'm sorry...Honey. Is that better now?"

"Do I have a choice? I mean, don't I get to at least pick?" I complained.

She laughed at me again. "Sure honey, anything you want!"

"Who are you talking to Sam?" asked my mom who was right outside the door.

"Vanessa, mom! She's just telling me she's dropping off homework for me to study later" I screamed back at my mom.

"Oh, okay sweetie! Don't stay too long on the phone, I'm expecting a call from your uncle."

"Sure mom! I won't!"

"Was that mom?" she teased.

"MY mom. Don't get yourself overly confident!"

"Whatever hon. You're mine now." she boasted.

"But you're not mine completely." I replied back.

"Jealous now, aren't we?"

"I am not! I'm just stating a fact!" I placed my hand on my hips, as if she could see me.

"Alright. I've got to go now...hon. I've got homework to do."

"Okay." I then suddenly remembered. "How's your hand?"

"It's fine hon. It got all better when your lips touched mine earlier."

"What does it have to do with the kiss?"

"The electricity that traveled on my body hon healed me!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're just bluffing."

"Haha! Okay, you got me. It's fine. My hand is fine. I had such a great rescue person that I couldn't be more thankful for her for coming and get me right away!"

"Ha ha, very funny." I sarcastically said.

"Better go now hon. Mom's already looking for me."

"Okay. Bye!"

"Don't miss me too much,'kay?"

"Shut up and just hang up the phone!" I smiled.

"I know you don't want me to!"

"Oh trust me, I want you to hang-up the phone now so I could get some rest."

"Alright! Geez, so bossy!"

I was the one who put the phone down first. As much as I wanted to talk to her some more, I couldn't. I'd be caught by my mom plus I'd feel even more bad for doing this to Mel. Sigh.

How am I going to go about our daily lives when all I want is to be wih her yet she's with Mel? Talk about an overly complicated love triangle!

Guess I'd have to figure a thing or two on how to control my jealousy especially when she's around Melody.The thought of them holding hands just makes me furious and want to smack Zen's pretty annoying face! Urgh!