You’ve Got it Bad

Eleven

Perrie's POV 

The sudden silence scared me to death because like I said, I had no idea what he was capable of at this point. There was no way I could stand on the other side of that door not knowing what was going on with her. 

I twisted the knob gently and pulled the door open a bit. I poked my head out slowly, trying my best not to be noticed. Peeking down the hall, there was a clear view of the front door and from what I could see, he had Jade pinned against it. 

It looked like he was kissing her neck and she wasn't moving. I was disgusted and to be honest a little bit hurt. My throat went dry when those beautiful brown eyes met mine. 

Her face was blank and emotionless and I could tell she was not enjoying herself nearly as much as he was. Not even a little bit. Clearly he was drunk.

He kept kissing down her body and her eyes never left mine. Her dead, emotionless gaze burned a hole in me. I wasn't sure what to do. She made me promise to hide but it gutted me to watch him do what he wanted to her. 

I started to walk out of the room and I saw her eyes plead with mine when she shook her head 'no'. She put her hand up behind his back, signaling for me to stop. I stopped and backed back into the room. 

God, I hate this.

He started to run his hands all over her body and she looked miserable. 

Why was she just letting him do that to her? 

He started to unbuckle his pants and fumble with her leggings. This time she put a hand on his chest. "Please stop."

He swatted her hand away and continued trying to pull her leggings down.

"Jimmy, stop!" She yelled this time.

"Stop talking!" He responded harshly.

I stood there frozen, not knowing if I should interfere. She begged me not to but no part of me couldn't stand by and watch this.

He pushed his pants down to his ankles and tugged at her leggings.

"Jimmy, I said stop! I don't want to do this with you right now!" She yelled again.

"I don't give a f**k what you want!" He put his hand over her mouth and continued gripping at her leggings. 

She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them to meet mine again. I saw the disgust in her eyes and it ripped me apart when I saw tears stream down her cheeks as her small attempt at fighting him off was futile. 

That did it for me. I couldn't stomach seeing her crying. She was clearly miserable. I don't care what I promised. I couldn't watch this. I wouldn't watch this. I couldn't let this get any further. And he needed to know that what he was doing was not okay. Ever. If she couldn't fight him off herself, I would.

I snatched the door open completely and charged towards them. I saw Jade's eyes widen as I jumped on his back, making him stumble to the floor. She stood there in shock and probably terror.

"What the f**k?!" He yelled.

"I told you not to touch her again!" I screamed. 

We tumbled around on the floor for a second. I started punching him in the face and he did the same to me. We went back and forth until Jade couldn't watch anymore.

"Stop it! Get off her, Jimmy!" She started yanking at him. 

He quickly got up on his feet and drew his hand back to take a swing at her. Not gonna happen. Not ever again. I'm here now. He won't ever put his hands on her again.

She flinched and shielded herself as if she was bracing for the hit, but I jumped in front of her. That was proof enough that this wasn't the first time that he's hit her. His fist connected with my face, knocking me back into her and making us both fall. I hurried to to my feet.

"Jimmy, go home! Perrie, please stop!" She screamed.

Jimmy turned around and stumbled out of the door.

I started to go after him but her soft hand wrapped around my wrist. "Pez, please. I'm begging you."

"Jade, why are you taking up for that d**k?!" My adrenaline was still pumping and that came out a little more aggressive than I wanted it to.

She looked exhausted all over again and that's when I realized that it really did have nothing to do with sleep. He was exhausting her.

"It's complicated, Perrie." She replied quietly.

I closed the door and calmed myself before speaking again. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her. I stepped closer and pushed her hair behind her ear. 

"Please uncomplicate it for me, Jade. I'm begging YOU now." I spoke gently.

She closed her eyes at my touch and sighed. Then she opened them again and looked into my eyes for a few seconds. Once again, she was searching for something. I could tell.

"It's just so hard. I'm tired, Perrie. I'm tired of it all. This back and forth, this game. Him doing whatever he wants to me, whenever he wants. Him hitting me when I try to fight him off. How much longer do I have to go through this?! I'm not strong enough for this. I just need him back. He's all I need!" She broke down right in front of me and fell to the floor on her knees. It hurt me so much to see her so hurt. All I wanted to do was take it all away.

"Come here. Come here. Shhhh." I got on the floor with her and scooped her into my arms, holding her close to me. "Please stop crying, Jade." 

Who did she want back? Jimmy?

She buried her face into my neck and sobbed harder. All I could do was rub small circles on her back and try and soothe her. 

"Who do you want back, baby? Talk to me please. What can I do?" I still held her close to me and she cried and held onto me as if I was the only thing holding her together. It didn't take long for the tears to start falling from my own eyes.

After she calmed down a little she choked out. "Perrie, I'm sorry."

"Shhhh, you don't need to apologize. You don't ever need to apologize." I looked down at her brown eyes that were staring up at me. 

She was just so precious. So fragile. Seeing her this vulnerable, I didn't know if I could love her anymore than right now. I wished I could just just love her pain away, but there was something missing. A void in her heart that I couldn't fill.

"I haven't been completely honest with you, Perrie." She sat up and looked into my eyes again, reading something for herself.

"It's okay. You can talk to me, Jade. You can trust me." I looked straight back into her eyes and I saw them soften a bit. 

"I know I told you we had just met, but I knew Jimmy long before I worked at the diner." She sighed and looked down at her hands. I put my hand on hers to comfort her. Her eyes met mine again and she continued.

"I've been in an off and on very toxic and very abusive relationship with him for years. Six years to be exact."

As shocked as I was I got the sense that she was still hesitating to say something.

"Let it out, Jade. I'm here. I'm listening." I rubbed her hand again and this time she gripped mine tightly, as if trying to absorb some of my strength.

"That little boy in my paining that you asked about... that's-that's Jaden." She started to cry again and I continued rubbing her back.

"H-he's my b-baby and I m-miss him so m-much, Perrie. Every day. It hurts so bad. My one and only job was to protect him, but I failed. I don't even know where he is right now. He's probably looking for me. And wondering why I let whatever is happening happen. I'm a terrible mother! I hate myself! I don't even deserve to be here!" She was bawling now and my heart sank even lower for her. 

She has a baby?

"Baby, come here. Don't say those things." I grabbed her again and held her close to me, which always seemed to relax her. "I'm so sorry, Jade. Where could he be?"

"J-Jimmy has h-him. I'm s-scared, Perrie. He's violent and mean and abusive. You've seen him! He's been keeping him from me. H-he was letting me see him and talk to him b-but then he got upset about me and you and now he won't let me s-see him. It's been weeks. I'm scared he's hurting my b-baby. Or neglecting him. And that Jaden is somewhere alone crying for his mom and I failed to protect him. He doesn't deserve that, Perrie! He didn't even ask to be here!" She cried.

I ran my fingers through her hair to keep her calm. "Why does Jimmy have- is he?"

She nodded. "He's his son too. But he doesn't want him, Perrie. I know it. He told me. He doesn't care about Jaden. He only wants to hurt me and he knows that is the one thing that will tear me part. It's like he's got my heart in his fist, and he can squeeze it and end me whenever he wants. One night he came over drunk just like now and he beat and r***d me, which I was used to from him. Only this time I got pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion, but I just couldn't. Now he's just keeping him away from me to hurt me and to keep having s*x with me whenever he wants. I don't know where he is and Jimmy won't tell me anything. He tells me if I have s*x with him, he'll let me talk to him. If I let him do what he wants to me, he'll let me talk to my baby on the phone and I'd do anything to know my baby is okay. To hear his voice. I know it seems like it, but I'm not protecting him. I never would. I hate him, Perrie. You have to know that. Please just know that. I don't love him anymore. I haven't for a long time. I'm scared of him. I just want my baby. That's the only reason I still put up with him. But I'm so tired. I can't do this anymore." Tears we're streaming down her face nonstop and the sight made my heart hurt.

I wiped the tears from her face and held her tighter. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. She had been holding in so much. And being so strong. I had no idea. She didn't wear it on her face at all. I was angry and sad and disgusted all at the same time and I wish I could go back in time and save her from all of it. 

I hated Jimmy already but I could kill him at this point. I really wanted to. What the hell kind of man does that s**t to a woman? What joy do you get from breaking a woman down like this? He just had a hold on her for s*x. Just to feel like he has power. Even after he abused her like that. I wanted to throw up. 

"That's disgusting, Jade. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that alone. It has to be exhausting. We're going to get him back. You're not alone anymore, okay? I promise. I'm here now and we're gonna get him back. I'm going to help you in any way I can. Please don't give up. You've been so strong for so long. Jaden needs you." I said softly.

I need you. 

She was shaking like a leaf, and it broke me in two.

"H-how? I've tried. I'm so tired. I don't know if I can take anymore, Perrie." She cried.

"Have you tried calling the police?" I had to ask.

She sighed. "I've tried but there's too many questions involved. That's not an option. There are things in my past that Jimmy knows about. This is already painful but he could really make my life a living hell if he wanted to. I c-can't risk going to jail or being legally separated from my baby. I'd really never see him again."

"Okay, I don't know but we'll figure it out together. I promise you we'll figure it out. You're not alone anymore. Don't you ever give up." I said.

She looked up at me and for the first time I saw hope in her eyes. "Something in your eyes makes me want to believe you."

"You should, because I don't ever break promises." I pulled her close again and kissed to top of her head. "Come on, let's get you in bed. You should get some rest."

I'm not really sure where the courage to kiss her head even came from. I just felt like she needed it. Like she needed to feel safe and cared about.

"A-are you leaving? Please don't leave." I saw panic flash in her eyes for a second.

"I'm here, love. Come on." I grabbed her hand and pulled her off the floor and towards the bedroom.

Once we got into the bed I pulled her down on top of me and held her tight. Just the way I knew she needed. It crossed my mind briefly that we had never been this close before, and it was something I had never had the nerve to do. But it was what she needed. And her needs came before my nerves. She needed love. I was terrified to tell her I loved her, so I had to show it instead. 

She was literally on top of me, holding on like she would slide off the earth if she let go. Being this close to her gave me comfort as well. Our breathing was in sync as we laid there in a comfortable silence. I played in her hair until I felt her breathing get heavier, signaling that she was finally asleep. 

I kissed her head one more time before sliding from underneath her and placing a pillow there before she noticed I was gone. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my keys and took one last look at the only person in the world who had managed to really steal my heart, but had no idea it was even in her possession. I'd do anything to make her happy, and that's just what I was going to do. 

"I'm going to help you get your baby back, Jade. I promise." I whispered before closing her bedroom door and leaving her apartment.