You’ve Got it Bad

Seventeen

Perrie's POV 

There was silence. Ear-splitting, bone-crushing, heart-shattering silence. Every millisecond that passed without her saying anything, I wanted more and more for the ground to just open up and suck me in.

"I- Uh-" She scratched her head. Great. I've never seen Jade speechless. She turned to face me. "Pez-"

I was on the verge of tears. Even though I kind of knew she didn't feel the same, it didn't make the confirmation any less gut-wrenching. I was crushed. 

"It's okay Jade. Y-you don't have to." I said quietly, pushing past the lump in my throat.

"But I-" She started again.

"Really, please stop." I couldn't even look at her, so I kept my eyes on the diner in front of us. "You should get back to work. We'll talk later."

She sighed and got out of the car. Before closing the door she spoke again. "Perrie, wait! No. I'm sorry. I-"

"Jade!" I yelled, tears pricking my eyes. 

It was like the more she stammered, the more she was just twisting the knife. She hesitantly closed the door and I immediately sped out of the parking lot.

My heart was in my lap, and I had no idea where to go. There was no way I could go back to her apartment, so I sat in my car for a few hours just thinking. I know I said it wouldn't matter if she didn't feel the same, but that was a lie. It hurt. A lot.

How could I be so stupid? How could I ruin this before it even started? How could I fall so hard?

I pulled into an empty parking lot, shut the car off and just sat there. I slammed my fists into the steering wheel and put my head on it as hot tears streamed into my lap.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes it was many hours later. I left Jade at around 7 and it was now 11:30pm. I looked around and there was still no one in sight, thankfully. 

Anything could've happened. I was just exhausted. I looked down at my phone and there were nineteen missed calls from Jade, and several more texts. I felt that same sharp pain in my chest again as I read her messages.

Jade: Pez, I'm so sorry. I was just caught off guard. Please talk to me. 7:53pm

Jade: I'm home and you're not here, where are you? Please pick up! 8:02pm

Jade: I feel disgusting for so many reasons, and I can't imagine how you must feel. We need to talk about this. I really don't want to lose this. 8:24pm

Jade: Pez, where are you? I'm worried! 9:06pm

Jade: If you don't want to talk to me, I understand. But please just let me know you're alright! 9:31 pm

Jade: I can't go to sleep, I need to know you're safe. 10:03pm

Jade: I called your mom and she hasn't seen you. Perrie, please! 10:30pm

Jade: I'm really really sorry I hurt you, ocean eyes. Please come home and talk to me. 11:03pm

She almost got me with the last one. After some thought, I decided that maybe I jumped in too fast and needed to back up. She was just getting her feet wet, and I was already swimming. 

I was going to have to go back home to my mom. But before I left Jade alone for good, there was one thing that I wanted her to have and that I had promised her. Her son. At least one of us could be happy.

I made the quick decision to drive to the house I learned he was being kept at. When I pulled up, the lights were off and no cars were around. Jimmy must not be here. I quickly jumped out of the car, probably too quickly as I had no plan whatsoever. 

I walked around the house trying to discreetly peek through the windows. I could see an average sized man on the couch playing video games in the living room. Jesy said they took turns, so it must have been this guy's turn to watch the house.

I waited for a bit to see if there was anyone who was going to join him. After about 20 minutes, no one came so I guessed he was alone. I kept peeking around in the windows of the house until I came across a bedroom in the back. I got closer to the window and peeked in, noticing a mattress on the floor and a child sized table with a plate of nasty looking food on it. 

As I continued to look around the room at how disgusting it was, my eyes landed on him, and my heart really broke. Suddenly, I didn't care at all about the night I had or the fact that Jade didn't love me back. All I could see was this baby. This poor helpless baby boy, sitting inside the closet of a dirty bedroom, holding on to two action figures. He looked so scared. 

His long messy curls fell all over his face and shoulders, his jeans and t shirt were both worn and ripped, and he wasn't even wearing any shoes. Suddenly I was filled with rage. 

Why make a baby if you don't intend to love him? And why keep him away from someone who absolutely would?

I made sure no one else was in the room before tapping lightly on the window with my nails. I saw him jump and look around in fear. Poor baby. There was no telling what he must have been put through in there. 

I did it again and he looked over at the window. When my eyes locked on his big brown ones, my heart fell right through to my feet. There they were. I had run dead into those same big chocolate brown eyes I was running from. I swear there is no other pair like them.

I waved him over and after some time, he hesitantly walked over to me. I motioned for him to raise the window and he did.

"Hi, you must be Jaden." I whispered, trying not to frighten him or draw any attention. 

He nodded, but he still looked afraid. I went into my purse and pulled out my emergency chocolate bar. His eyes lit up and I smiled. 

"You like chocolate?" I whispered.

He nodded again, this time more enthusiastically. I broke the chocolate in two, gave him half and nibbled on the other half. He stuffed it in his mouth and I giggled. 

He had to be the cutest little kid I had ever seen. I wanted to hurry and get him out of there, but I also wanted him to somewhat trust me and not be afraid. 

"Whatcha got there?" I asked, pointing to his toys. Up close I could see he was clenching onto Superman and Wonder Woman.

"It's me and mommy." He said holding them up so I can see, and it made me want to cry.

"Mommy gave you those?" I asked.

He nodded and smiled. "Yup. We are... were the justix leave." 

He dropped his head and I could see that he missed her a lot. I could also see that he was very smart to just be three years old.

"She really misses you buddy, do you want to go see her?" I asked. 

He looked up at me and I could see the hope in his big brown eyes. "Yes!" 

"Okay, I'll take you to her." I reached for him through the window but he handed me Superman and Wonder Woman first. I slipped them into my purse and then reached for him again, finally pulling him out. I picked him up and made a run for my car, but was stopped in my tracks when Jimmy's car came screeching up.

I put Jaden down and behind me as Jimmy came flying over to us.

"WHAT THE f**k ARE YOU DOING HERE?" He yelled. "GET BACK INSIDE NOW, LITTLE BOY!" 

I heard Jaden start to cry and then run inside through the front door.

"JIMMY LET HIM GO!" I yelled back. "YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM HERE!"

Before I knew what was happening, his hand was around my throat and he was pushing me backwards inside the house. I tried scratching and clawing at him but it wasn't helping. He pushed me inside and I fell on the floor. He tried to stomp me but I rolled over and got to my feet. I will never go out without a fight.

He threw a punch and landed it on my face, but I immediately returned the favor. He stumbled back a little, and I could see the anger on his face. The guy who was playing the video games snuck up from behind me and held my hands over my head while Jimmy laid punches into my face and stomach like he was using a bag at the gym. I looked over and saw Jaden hiding behind the couch, crying his eyes out and looking petrified.

"I TOLD YOU TO MIND YOUR f*****g BUSINESS AND STAY AWAY FROM JADE, b***h!" He screamed as he continued punching hard into my ribs and stomach. 

The pain was unbearable. I doubled over and he continued hitting me in my face. One hand after the other. Blood poured from my mouth and nose and I could feel both of my eyes tightening. 

I tried getting up once more but he hit me again and I fell to the floor. He used the opportunity to stomp me in my chest and stomach over and over, until I was sure I was about to die. I could feel my bones breaking.

"NOW GET OUT AND DONT COME BACK!" He spat while dragging me out of the front door. "AND IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, IT'LL BE THE LAST TIME! I GUARANTEE IT!" 

I could hardly hear him due to the ringing and blood pumping in my ears. My right eye was now swollen shut and I could hardly see out of my left. My entire body felt shattered, and it hurt like hell when I started to throw up blood. I had to get to a hospital fast. 

I dragged myself to my car and fell inside. Everything hurt so much now. It was all too much. All I wanted to do was close my eyes. I started the car up and drove away. I made it about two blocks when I couldn't take anymore. 

My whole body felt like broken glass and I couldn't even see anymore. At this point, I imagined it would feel better if I just laid my head down and let sleep takeover, and that's exactly what I did.