Rain Drops

Chapter 19

For a long time, I kept waking up each morning wondering what would become of me. If I had been awake, I probably wouldn't have slept again. I've learned the hard way that it' s possible to sleep longer and harder than usual because I was sleeping in my clothes and without changing. I didn't want the guards to suspect that I was awake. I kept trying to sleep, but the truth was I could not stay asleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the soldiers attacking my village. Every time I heard the sound of the swords clashing against one another, I pictured myself fighting back against the attackers. Every time I heard the cries of my village children crying for help, I imagined myself fighting with those same men. Whenever I smelled the smoke rising from burning houses or saw bodies covered in blood, I pictured myself fighting alongside Tasha, my sister. And when I heard the screams of the dying villagers, I imagined myself being killed by the warriors.

Sometimes I couldn't fall asleep anymore, and so I tried not to think about it. The best way to forget about such thoughts would be to start dreaming. Sometimes, I wished that I could live my dreams and not remember anything that happened in reality. Sometimes my dreams were so vivid that I couldn't stop myself from remembering the events that had occurred while I was asleep. Sometimes, my dreams made me feel guilty because I could see the faces of people I had saved, just like that day. Other times, my dreams caused me to feel happy. On the days I couldn't sleep, I would wake up early enough and practice my dancing or read books about music. Other times, I would just watch television. Sometimes, I would try to make myself believe that everything was fine. Sometimes, I would take one step forward and another step back. Sometimes I'd look at my reflection and wish that I had been strong enough. I'd tell myself 'everything's fine', hoping and believing that it was. But it wasn't fine.

Every single day brought its own misery and pain, just as the rest of my miserable life. But somehow, my life has improved a bit since I met those two strangers that night. It's been almost six months now since my arrival in the Kingdom of Narnia, and I've managed to adapt quite well. Despite my circumstances, I manage to keep a positive attitude and a happy outlook. Most importantly, I'm able to live comfortably and peacefully at home, with my sisters and my father, my friends and everyone around me, and especially my beloved brother whom I love so much. Even when we're not working, which is quite often given how busy we are in the village, it doesn't bother me as much as it did before. I've accepted my position as one of the maids to King Edmund and Queen Susan. Of course, my life has also changed for the better. I don' t know how, but I have gained more confidence and trust, as though a wall had been built around my heart, protecting it from any harm. I don't know if it's the result of my training or because of my new environment. However, when I think about it, I know that I mustn't judge everything from one single incident. For example, I didn' t do anything wrong that night. The two strangers were not doing the wrong things either. But perhaps it's their fault.

It's the last day of spring harvest, and today we celebrate the first harvest of our land. Our village isn't exactly wealthy, but that's only because most of the crops grow well in our fields and gardens and are harvested fairly quickly. Still, I enjoy celebrating the day of harvest, so many thanks to the farmers who share their harvest with our village. The harvest festival has always been one of our special days in autumn, and I can assure you that there will always be plenty of food left over for those who work in our fields.

The whole day was spent outside working in the fields. Some villagers gathered together with their hoes and plows to help with the planting of winter crops and with the harvesting of crops later. Everyone worked hard. When dusk fell, the whole field was covered in mud, but no one complained. We enjoyed the evening meal together. The smell of the hot roast lamb filled the air, and everyone got excited. The next day was different. There was no feast to commemorate the festival. People were still in a hurry to eat supper and get some sleep, and there wasn't anything to be done.

I woke up the next morning feeling unusually tired and weak. During the whole night, I had kept having nightmares. Once, the memory of my nightmare resurfaced and I found myself in the middle of an empty field with nothing around me. As far as I was concerned, all the wheat I could see was covered with dirt and leaves that had fallen onto them. The sky above me was dark, but I couldn't see any sun. A storm was brewing somewhere near me; it was raining very heavily. The wind blew and tossed the corn leaves in front of my face violently, creating loud rustling sounds everytime one of them hit the ground. At some point, I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye: a large black creature appeared in front of me. He was wearing a huge pair of trousers, and he had short legs with enormous hands. He was carrying a pitchfork that was covered with straw. He grabbed me by my arms, lifted me off my feet, and began dragging me towards the edge of the fields toward where he was hiding. Then something terrible happened! The monster's pitchfork went through my body and pierced me through the stomach, causing a lot of blood to flow out of me.

My dream left me shaken and terrified. My face grew pale, my mouth became dry, and tears streamed from my eyes, running down my cheeks, dripping onto the pillow. I cried silently for a long while.

In the end, I couldn't cry any longer, and so I stopped. In spite of this, my head hurt terribly and I wanted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't fall asleep. I stayed lying in bed for a while until it was dawn.