The long road to recovery

Chapter 4: Detox

The chill of the early morning was nothing to sneeze at, well actually it was precisely something to sneeze at as Jack could feel that he was in the early stages of a cold. It wasn’t all too strange that he had begun to catch one, he had always loved watching the changing leafs dance about in the early autumn wind it was just a shame that the robe provided for him did little to stave off the cold. He breathed a heavy sigh as he looked towards the sky, the muted tones of gray clouds all that the eye could see. It was disappointing that he wouldn’t get to watch the sun rise today, the weather hadn’t been the greatest as of late and this would mark the fourth straight day that his precious routine had to be broken. Yet another in a long list of disappointments in his recent life but what was he to do about it, rather than ruminate on it he did his best to enjoy the beauty that the day still had to offer. Though the golden rays of the sun were absent the scene was far from ruined, after all he still had the colourful leafs, the lovely singing of the songbirds, and most beautiful of all was the fact that he was alone.

Jack was a man who could see the value in his own company and being alone with one’s thoughts but ever since he had come here it was rare that he could enjoy either. The only time that he wasn’t forced into ridiculous activities or crammed into the doctor’s tiny office were these few moments before the world had awoken or the sun has risen. As such he grew increasingly fond of this alone time as his stay continued on, it felt like the only time that he could truly be himself. Yes he was most honest with himself during his sessions with Patterson but that wasn’t “him” as he had grown to define it, he was perfectly captured in the space just before sunrise. Jack let out a yawn as he stretched his legs, preparing himself both mentally and physically to return to his daily routine. Before he departed from his favorite bench he took a moment to check the time on his watch “It’s only about 7:25, I can sit here just a bit longer”

Jack didn’t really have any concrete time at which he’d head in, ever since the cold weather had begun creeping up on him he’d taken to sitting outside until he couldn’t feel his fingers any longer. That didn’t really take all too long usually, an hour to an hour and a half and he’d be more than ready to head inside to make himself a cup of coffee. Today would be different though, something about the way the birds were singing in tandem with the motion of the trees caught in the wind it was downright hypnotic and made him forget about the cold which nipped at his toes.

His time away from the rest of the world had drawn to a close as lights began to flicker on one at a time, proof that he was no longer alone in the early throws of twilight. With a sigh Jack rubbed his hands together then cupped them to catch the warmth of his breath, a small attempt to keep what little warmth remained within his fingertips as he rose from his seat on the bench. He could feel each twig and pebble that lined the small footpath through the woods which surrounded his new home, a draw back to the comfort afforded to him by his fuzzy slippers. He paid the sting on the bottom of his feet no mind, his mind was already turned to a much more important topic, breakfast. Jack hadn’t been lodging here long enough to commit the entire menu to memory but if there was one thing that he couldn’t forget it would be the coffee bar. They had types of coffee that Jack had never heard of before he had arrived here, not only that but they had it in such great quantities that even someone as late as Jack often was still had his pick. Next to the alone time spent beneath a gray sky that coffee bar had been the highlight of Jack’s stay thus far.

Thoughts of the rich aroma and complex taste always kept him warm during the rather lengthy walks back from his favorite spot from which to watch the sun rise, although there had been less and less sun with every day of autumn that passed. A sort of gray filter had begun to permeate his world lately, the grass was turning brown, it rained nearly each and every day, not to mention the all-white clothing provided for him. Despite all this there were still the occasional splash of colour every now and again, the most noticeable being the brilliant hues of the trees as they readied themselves to shed their foliage. As Jack’s stroll through the woods drew to a close he could finally start to see the cafeteria appear in front of him through the thinning foliage. There was nothing terribly special about the building itself, on the contrary it closely resembled pretty much every other building that dotted the landscape which sprawled out before him. All of them single or two story redbrick building with a simplistic design to them, functional yes but nothing to write home about.

Jack wondered to himself why they couldn’t put as much effort into these buildings as they had the business side of things. From his hilltop vantage point he could see just about every square foot of land that belonged to the Westward mental institute and it was quite clearly divided between the professionals and the patients. On the one side stood the gracious buildings with pillars of chiselled marble and renascence art, the other housed simple dwellings of brick and mortar. It was funny though, on each one of Jack’s trips the walk back always reminded him that though those simple brick housings may well be just that, simple, they were also very warm and for that he was thankful. Happy to be heading out of the cold he resumed his journey, the rather worn soles of his slippers struggling to find traction as he strayed from the path to head down a hill. Though he loved the fresh air that his little trips afforded him this was the one part that he could do without for you see Jack’s bench wasn’t technically on any Westward land.

Jack’s favorite spot was just a tad out of the way, though that was to be expected considering this was his secret hideaway from the rest of the world. He had found it quite by accident one restless night as he wandered the grounds in the hopes of tiring his body to the point of exhaustion. He had been having problems getting any real restful sleep when he first moved into his new temporary home and had already tried everything he could think of by the third night there. Usually these bouts of increased restlessness had been combated with alcohol and cigarettes in the past but seeing as such contraband was prohibited within Westwards walls Jack was s**t out of luck there. So in the absence of his tried and true methods he did what he could to stave off the sleepless nights for as long as possible. At first he tried listening to soothing music to aid him in falling asleep but sadly all that accomplished was giving his misery a soundtrack. Next was a warm drink before bed, usually this would be a shot of bourbon or perhaps a nice scotch but he tried to make do with what little was available. On his third night there Jack could take this torture no more and was determined to get at least one nights rest before he threw the towel in and started asking for some meds. So he did the only reasonable thing that came to mind, he went for a little midnight run along the grounds in the hopes that his body would be so tired by the end of it that he’d just crash as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Jack got a little more than he had bargained for that night though, and it all started with the emergence of what he had thought was a stray at the time. As he did his best to keep a good pace despite the discomfort that jogging in slippers gave him Jack heard a sound from the underbrush. It was weak at first, distant as well but as he continued down the path it became clearer and clearer. He could hear a cat calling out to him somewhere beyond the trees, it was well into the night at this point in his journey and though the main path was illuminated by lamps anything past that was pitch black. Jack’s first thought was to ignore it, after all he’d never really been an animal person his whole life so he thought why start now? He had even started along the path once more before he heard the cat cry out again, this time halting in his tracks completely as he tried to listen for the direction that the call was emanating from. There was a lengthy silence before yet another meow rang out through the night once more, this time Jack had slowly began to head towards the sound. He pushed the low hanging branch of a pine from his path and produced a phone from the pocket of his robe with his other hand.

What was he thinking? It was dark, there were clearly animals in these woods, and if something happened to him there was nobody awake let alone around to help him out of whatever trouble he was certain to get himself into. He knew this was a bad idea, he was absolutely certain that it was and yet with every meow he heard Jack’s pace quickened just a little bit. Jack wasn’t the type of man who could sit back and just watch as others were in need of assistance, even if that “person” was a cat who had managed to get themselves lost in the woods in the middle of the night. The flashlight from his phone was barely bright enough to illuminate three steps ahead of him so he couldn’t exactly take off running but he had a pretty good pace going as he began to realize that he hadn’t actually heard the cat in some time. Jack took a moment’s pause to look around him and assess the situation, his flashlight shifting about the foliage as he tried to make heads or tails of where exactly he was but it all looked the exact same.

Jack froze for a moment as he realized exactly the situation that he had gotten himself into, lost in the wood with nothing but a dying cellphone to guide him. He was just about to turn around and head back out the way he came, or at least the direction he thought he had arrived from, when the glint of light against metal caught his eye. His flashlight had found something, just beneath a tree, hiding just beside the mighty trunk of the tree was a cat as dark as the inky night itself. As Jack slowly crept forward a startling glimmer of green shot towards him, the cats great big eyes had met with his own as the feline had finally caught sight of him. It was nothing more than a lost house cat not doubt, the collar around its neck evidence enough for Jack to draw such conclusions. The poor thing looked so scared, how could he just up and leave it here, deep in the woods in the middle of the night? With a sigh Jack’s mid was made, he may have to hide the little guy for the time being but it was better than leaving him out here to fend for himself.

While Jack’s mind may have been made on the subject of bringing home the adorable little fluff ball our friend the cat felt that they should have a say in the matter, and they were definitely not shy about voicing their opinion. A hiss rang out as Jack approached the animal with an open hand outstretched, quickly pulling back as the cat swatted at him claws and all. It was almost as if the cat could smell Jack’s usual distrust of animals “Geez, what was that for you fuckin’ cat?” Another hiss rang through the air as the cat arched its back, unblinking eyes fixated on Jack as he did his best to keep his movements slow and subtle. Why was it that every attempt that Jack made to help others ended up biting him in the ass at the end of the day, in this case perhaps more literally than others. He could understand that the poor cat was probably frightened but this would be done an over with so much faster if the damn thing would just come with him. Once more he attempted an approach, this time inching forward at a snail’s pace while keeping his hands safely at his side, he learned his lesson the last time.

Just like the last time the stray had a less than favorable reaction to Jack’s attempt to help, though this time they took off running through the darkness of the forest. Jack placed a hand over his face as he stood up, dusting his pant legs off before sighing once more. “You couldn’t have just made this easy huh? You just had to fuckin’ run didn’t you?” With that he set off into the depth of the forest after the cat, following the faint glint of a collar as he did his best to keep tabs on where exactly he was. That’s when he hit it, the large fence that separated the Westward mental institute from the outside world. This thing was pretty damn imposing, ten feet of chain-link fence topped with barbed wire, definitely not something he’d want to try and scale in the dead of night. He was certain that the cat had come through here though and there was no way that he climbed this thing in the time that it took Jack to catch up so how did the stray get past it then?

And as if to answer that very question Jack caught just a glance of a furry butt squeezing itself through a medium sized hole at the base of the fence otherwise hidden by shrubbery. If it hadn’t been for the jingle of the cats collar as heit wiggled and writhed it’s way through Jack would’ve missed the damn thing entirely. “You haven’t lost me yet damn it, I’m gonna fuckin’ help you whether you like it or not you stupid cat!” The hole was snug to be certain, Jack had done what he could to open it up a little for him before going through it himself and still he had to wiggle his way through it. Strangely the cat Jack had been chasing, rather than continuing to run further into the woods, had sat itself atop a stump from which it watched jack struggle. Jack gotten himself about halfway through before his robe got stuck on one of the many jagged edges that lined the hole. He twisted and turned but a quick glance back at the hole confirmed his suspicions, he was going to need to lose the robe if he wanted to continue after the cat.

He figured that it wouldn’t be too much of an issue, whatever it was doing the cat had been rather calm not to mention stationary for the entirety of this little mishap so Jack figured that he could just grab his robe after he had wormed his way out of this mess. That was the plan at least but sadly not everything goes according to plan for no sooner did Jack find himself free of the steely grip of the fence than did the cat continue on his merry way up a hill and further into the darkened woods. Slightly enraged now Jack gave a moment’s glance back at his robe before bursting forth into a full sprint after the cat, whatever it had been before it was personal now.

The path that the mischievous cat lead Jack through was full of twist and turns, even harder to follow with thought of his dying battery life playing on repeat in the back of his mind but he was determined to help this little bastard of a cat. Slowly as the two of them continued on their way the woods around them started to thin until all at once there was nothing but grassy plains before him. Huffing and puffing Jack struggled to catch the breath that he hadn’t the time to notice he had lost whist his eyes scanned for any gray stripped bastards on the horizon. With his heart racing and pulse pounding he spotted the little bugger, sleeping soundly stretched out on a simple wooden bench. It was hard to believe such a bueatiful animal could be such a d**k but Jack wasn’t about to forget all he had been through just because the damn thing was cute. That was until he truly took a good look at the wondrous landscape that now surrounded him.

Jack was a city boy born and raised so it was rare for him to see more than a single star within the night sky but there in the inky blackness of the wide open field he laid eyes upon the beauty of the night for the first time in his life. He couldn’t help but be awestruck by the sheer beauty of the spectacle he was witnessing, it hadn’t occurred to him just how far from the city this place had been until just that very moment. It was all he could do to keep his jaw from hitting the floor as he viewed the stars as he had seen them in movies and television for years but somehow this was all new to him, fresh. Jack took his seat on the bench next to the peacefully sleeping cat, all thoughts of what the damn thing had put him through to get him here erased as he looked to the heavens unblinkingly. Jack’s hand fell softly onto the cat, stroking it slowly as all his worries melted away into the cosmos.

As the sun rose upon that fateful fist viewing Jack had left everything behind, he was so wrapped up in enjoying the moment that he had even forgotten the cold which by now had taken hold of him to his very core. With the suns light illuminating the scene Jack could more accurately make out his surroundings. He had somehow found himself upon a plateau overlooking the entirety of the Westward institute, from this far away even his problems looked small. The only other structure that he could make out was a rather large white house on the opposite end of the plateau, it was set not too far from a large wooden barn so Jack felt It safe to assume it was a farmhouse of sorts. Other than that there was the occasional tree and Jack could just make out a small path down the side of a hill which looked to him to be the path he took on his way here.

A soft purring broke the silence of this early morning scene, Jack looked down at his lap to find himself absentmindedly petting the cat from last night as she pushed her head deeper into his hand. The glint of metal in the morning sun reminded Jack that what he had been assuming was a stray this entire time had a rather lovely pink collar across her neck. Jacked stopped petting the cat for just a moment as he flipped over the little metal heart which dangled from hr collar, inscribed upon it in simple font was the name Mable. “Well it’s too bad you’re not a stray Mable, you would’ve driven me crazy but I was looking forward to having a friend here…” As if on que Mable looked up at Jack, her big green eyes glistening, and let forth her sweetest meow. It was safe to say that Jack was smitten with this kitten, it was the first of their kind that he could actually tolerate and it hurt that he was going to have to say goodbye for now. “I take it you belong to the people who live down there huh? Well at least you have a nice big home and plenty of space to get into trouble.” Jack gave a weak chuckle as he removed his hand from Mable entirely, the cat immediately taking her chance to leap from the bench and onto the grass below. She gave out a long yawn as she stretched, golden rays of light bouncing of her lustrous grey coat. Without so much as a glance back Mable was off, bounding towards the grand white house in the distance and as Jack watched his friend leave without a word he felt something that he hadn’t felt ever since he arrived here, tired.

This had proven a rather effective measure for combating Jack’s otherwise restless nights, he’d lay down to rest early and come dawn his butt would be planted within the very same bench as before bright eyed and bushy tailed. If he was really lucky Mable would come visit him in the twilight hours of the morning bringing with her on occasion the prize of a recent hunt. On the days that she would sit with Jack beneath the star bathed skies she had taken to presenting him with all sorts of small game. The first was a mouse, shaken but still alive Jack had managed to persuade his feline friend into letting the little guy go, the others she brought weren’t so lucky. Today sadly Mable had better things to attend to it would seem as she was rather absent from Jack’s star gazing, no matter though he was certain to see her sometime soon. He gave one last look towards the farmhouse in the distance before making his way carefully down the hill which led to the hole in the fence.

With the amount of rain they had been getting lately Jack had begun to take his trusty umbrella with him almost everywhere he went, it came especially in handy for these nightly trips off the beaten path. Even if the rains had stopped by the time he was ready to head out the trail he traveled was nothing more than a worn section of forest that he was certain Mable had carved out while she enjoyed her own midnight mischief. Traction on such a muddy path would be hard enough to come by as is but add in the fact that he had to walk the entire thing in slippers and a makeshift walking stick was a god send. The doctors and staff here already looked at him funny he didn’t need to give them anymore reason than they already had by showing up to breakfast coved in mud. Well it wasn’t like he cared much what the others here thought anyways, he was here for himself not them so what mind should he pay to their views of him?

Thankfully he had found his way down the hill without incident now came the hardest part of the entire journey, the fence. It had been several trips now, and he had to cross through the hole both ways, so you would think that by now it would have become at least a tad bit easier but that was not the case. Each and every time that Jack laid eyes on that tiny little hole between the outside world and the Westward institute he began to question his choice in coming out here each night. On more than one occasion he had actually injured himself by snagging his arms or legs on the jagged edges of the hole. Nothing serious mind you, a couple scrapes and only one actual cut but still enough to warrant treatment by the time he got back to his room. Yet almost every time Jack crawled through that stupid fence he found himself stuck halfway through for one reason or another, forced to wiggle worm his way out and pray that he didn’t get cut along the way.

Today was shaping up to be his lucky day, he passed the threshold into the Westward institute without so much as a single hitch and when he got up to dust himself off there was only bit of mud on his clothes. Not only that but seeing as he hadn’t wasted his time stuck in the fence Jack was on course to make it to the cafeteria early for once, which meant that he’d have his pick of whatever donut he pleased today. With thoughts of powdered jelly filled and honey crullers dancing through his mind Jack couldn’t help but to smile, today was most definitely going to be a good day.

Jack ducked under the low hanging branch of a pine tree as he emerged from the woods to join the paved pathway, the simple brick buildings of the patient’s side of Westward coming into view once more. Though the lights on this side of the world had begun to flicker on most everyone was still fast asleep, save for those who worked within the cafeteria. Jack relished walking about the grounds this time of morning, as with his midnight trips into the woods it was the silence that he enjoyed most about it. Not to mention that the air just somehow tasted better early in the morning, almost as if it hadn’t been tainted by the day’s events yet. He was in such a good mood that he would have waved at passersby if there had been any but he settled for having a stupid smile plastered across his face as he strutted his way down the path. It may have been a gray morning, hell it may have even been a gray week but there are times in life when all that doesn’t matter and all you have to do is smile.

Jack checked his reflection as he passed a set of darkened windows, making certain that he was at the very least “passible”. He didn’t much care for preening or primping but he’d clean himself up if need be, thankfully today he was just fine, he’d be needing a shower at the end of the day but that was a problem for another time. Figuring that there was time to spare Jack thought that he’d take the scenic route today, usually he was in such a rush to get some food into him but today was different. Sure he felt hungry, hungry enough to eat whatever passed for breakfast in this joint but what was a few extra minutes to him.

He wasn’t quite sure why but today it felt as though Jack was skipping across cloud nine with how well his day had started off. Despite the lackluster weather and rather drab gray aesthetic of the world as a whole it was a shame that his walk had to come to an end but it did. With one hand Jack flung open the doors to what he had lovingly titled “the mess hall”, the sounds of the of clattering coming from the kitchen at the other end of the long white room. Other than himself and a few employees there to set up the breakfast buffet there really wasn’t anyone else present. The room was (mostly) still and silent which was rather a sight to behold, it seemed that no matter the time of day whenever Jack had visited this place it was always teeming with life. There was ruckus laughter, waves of voices engaged in conversation, and even the odd patron there to actually eat something as weird as it was. Never before had he seen this room so empty, though then again he had made it a point to avoid this room like the plague after all.

It wasn’t as if the food was “bad” per se but all the food that was made here was too healthy for Jack’s tastes. He swore that this place was secretly run by rabbits or something by the sheer amount of leafy green things on display amidst the offerings for the days buffet. Now Jack knew that vegetables were good for him, hell he didn’t mind eating the damn things in moderation but that was the thing, there was no such thing as moderation in this place. The most that he’d ever gotten in terms of proper meat from the buffet was when his spaghetti had five meatballs instead of four. Jack was a meat lover, hell he was certain that they had named the pizza after him, and yet there was hardly ever a scrap of meat by the time he arrived but all of that would change as of today. He was here well before anyone else was even awake and he was determined to claim what was rightfully his.

A low grumble echoed in the quiet corner Jack had claimed as his own as he watched over the workers who continued to put out food, his stomach growing impatient as piles of bacon were placed between to mountains of fluffy eggs and bushes of spinach. Officially breakfast wasn’t served until 9 A.M., nobody really cared whether or not you stayed within the dining hall but there was to be absolutely no touching the food until nine sharp. Jack began to pace, his hands crossing before his chest as he thought to himself what a stupid rule that actually was, no matter what time the buffet opened it would still be first come first served so it would stand to reason that Jack should be the first one served. It wasn’t as if one of the workers was going to stop him, after all jack could just tell from their “wonderful” work ethic and positively copious amounts of “enthusiasm that all that they thought of was the pay check. Who would notice if a few slices of bacon went missing, or a few sausage links, definitely not anyone who mattered that’s for certain.

With his mind made Jack looked back towards the buffet, his surprise plastered across his face as he caught another doing exactly as he had plan to do. The food thief, as Jack had labelled them in his mind, had been hard at work piling food by the forkful onto their plate. Jack was never one to be out done so he grabbed a plate and headed straight for the meats, a small haste to his steps as he stared into the back of the food thief’s head. He shook his head dismissively before turning his attention to the beautiful pile of cured meat before him, Jack had, had dreams of this moment but those could not compare to the sensation of the real deal. He grabbed everything that he could, piling everything that he had always been too late to partaking in on a single plate before dousing the whole lot of it in maple syrup. He was in heaven, in fact he was so absorbed in his food that he couldn’t resist digging in right then and there, only taking a small bite but a bite nonetheless.

He was experiencing pure bliss, he knew that tomorrow was likely to be back to the usual rabbit food but that just made what he was enjoying in this instance that much better. Jack had lost track of the world he had forgotten that he was still eating standing just before the buffet and he had also forgotten that there were still others besides himself within the room. A fact that he was all too suddenly and abruptly made aware of as he felt a solitary finger lightly but sternly tap him on the shoulder. “You do know that the buffet is only open to patients starting at nine, right?” Jack swallowed hard as the feminine voice flowed into his ear, almost immediately beginning to apologise as he turned around to face whoever it was who owned it.

He wasn’t certain exactly who or what he had been expecting but whatever it was it definitely wasn’t who he found standing just behind him with a smirk on her face. “W-wait what? You’re the food thief not some doctor, what the f**k are you doing scaring me like that!?!” The supposed food thief couldn’t help but break out into a fit of laughter as she began pointing directly at Jack “You should’ve seen your stupid face… and the apologizing, absolutely hilarious.” Jack sighed as he placed his forehead into the palm of his hand, walking away while muttering less than flattering things under his breath. With his long sought after foods stacked high upon his plate he headed straight for an open seat, not that it was hard to find any since there still really wasn’t anyone present at this time of day. His tray fell unceremoniously upon the table of his choice with a thunk, the clatter of silverware hitting the plastic of his tray accompanied by sharp exhale as Jack took his seat.

He was quick to scoop up a fork and knife and begin laying into his morning meal, needing to make up for the time wasted by that food thief. As if she had heard her name being uttered in the depths of Jack’s mind the unknown woman plopped down before Jack, food and all. He was caught off guard by this, his eyes shifting from side to side as he scanned the many vacant tables which dotted the room. Jack put on a forced smile as he interacted with her, doing his best to mask his confusion towards this whole interaction. “You aren’t blind are you? ‘cause you could’ve sat legitimately anywhere else but here.” Jack’s uninvited guest had just shoved a forkful of food into her mouth so she waved off his statement by holding up a solitary finger. “Real fuckinn’ classy of you” Jack snickered at her gesture before indulging himself in his meal once more.

As the two of them sat in relative silence “enjoying” each other’s company Jack took this lull in conversation as an opportunity to really look at who was sitting across from him for the first time. He had caught glances of her and seen her from the back but he had yet to actually pay attention to her. Something about her was familiar to him but he couldn’t quite place it. It wasn’t as if she looked remarkably similar to anyone he actually knew, on the contrary she was completely different than anyone within his circle of friends. She played host to a myriad of striking features, the first of which that drew Jack’s eye were, well her eyes. They were bold and bright, though they spent most of their time fixated on her food during the rare occasion that she actually looked up he couldn’t help but to catch a glimpse of those pools of hazel. Just below her eyes, adorning her face from check to check and even across the bridge of her nose, was a smattering of freckles. Her long black hair was tied back haphazardly into a messy bun and errant strands cascaded down her face like ebony silk. She was in a word beautiful but Jack felt that her personality could use more than a little fixing.

“So what brings you to my table exactly, here to point and laugh at me some more?” Jack’s guest rolled her eyes as she pushed her plate away from herself and placed her fork atop her food. She swallowed what food remained in her mouth before sighing “Geez, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that you couldn’t take a joke. I mean, come on it was pretty god damn funny how you jumped out of your skin when I called you out on your shit.” Jack could tell that the time for eating had passed, at least for now, so he followed in his gust’s footsteps and put his food to the side. “And what fuckin’ s**t would that be exactly? If I’m not mistaken, which I’m not by the way, you’re just as guilty as me for sneaking in here for a bite to eat.” Jack’s annoyance with the food thief only grew as his comment was met with a snicker “Well no s**t, the only reason anyone would even come here this early in the first place is to get all the best food before anyone else had the chance to. The only difference between me and you id that I’m more than well aware that what I’m doing is against the rules, and I don’t give a single shit.”

From what little interaction Jack had, had with this woman he could already tell that he absolutely could not stand her, she just thought that she was so much better than everyone else. She may not have said as much but he could just tell from the way she carried herself that she was definitely thinking it. “What about you, we know why I’m here but I’m more interested in why you’re here this early in the morning. You’re not dressed to be an employee and you’re too much of a goodie-goodie to intentionally break the rules so why are you here exactly?” Jack felt his heart skip a beat as the question was asked, going off institute grounds without permission was strictly prohibited and he’d hate to get kicked out after all that his friends did to get him here. “What’s it to you? Maybe I just wanted a decent breakfast for once, ever think of that?” The food thief laughed before leaning in and motioning for Jack to join her, keeping her voice as a low whisper as she spoke to him. “I’ve seen you, you know… coming out of the woods at god forsaken hours of the morning. It would be a shame if the wrong people learned of that huh?”

Jack’s heart was in his throat within seconds of hearing this, he scrambled to think of something, anything but his guest was much quicker than him in the draw. “You and I both know that leaving this place is a big no-no but I’m rather interested by what it is that would drive even a good boy like yourself to break the rules.” Jack, now completely floundering for any ground in this conversation shook his head as he tried to reclaim ground. “I… like to take hikes is all, it’s good to get fresh air into your system every now and again, or didn’t you know that?” The food thief had Jack exactly where she wanted him, and she wasn’t afraid to flaunt that fact either. She resumed her meal, only half paying attention to what Jack had to say, as if the conversation was already over. “But it’s not just every now and again now is it, we both know you’ve been doing it more than that.” Jack was starting to get pissed, how could this woman he’d never met before know so much? “How do you fuckin’ know that huh? Have you been watching me every day? You fuckin’ stalker.” She was unphased by his claims, merely enjoying her food in response. “I didn’t know until just now, when you told me yourself… oh and every day? You must really like to hike huh?”

That was it, Jack had played himself into a corner that there was absolutely no getting out of, all he could do now is listen to this rather strange woman’s demands. “Out with it than, what do you fuckin’ want, you wouldn’t be bugging me so damn much if there wasn’t anything in it for you now would you?” With that Jack’s guest once more joined the conversation in earnest, setting aside her fork so she could be certain to speak clearly. “Well isn’t that rather perceptive of you, I’m just curious is all, Take me to wherever it is that you run off to in the middle of the night. This is as good for you as it is me, after all at that point I’d be just as guilty of breaking the rules as you and I’m not too keen on the idea of getting tossed out of here. Though it really doesn’t matter now does it, you have no say in the matter. I’ll meet you by that pine tree that you love so much at 11 tonight, see you then.”

That was to be the end of their conversation, the food thief turned her back to Jack and merrily strutted away, making certain that she had the last word in. Jack was left dazed and confused as to what exactly had transpired here, how did he end up promising to show some woman he had never met before his one escape from this whole place? He shovelled another mountain of food into his mouth as he mulled over the conversation in his head, the only explanation he could come up with was that it was just too damn early in the morning to be dealing with this sort of thing. What he needed to do was to finish his breakfast and get a nice hot cup of coffee before he could truly start his day off, he just figured that it would be best to just continue on as if none of this had happened. As to what his plan was in regards to later on in the evening, well he’d worry about that bridge when he crossed it.

At this point a crowd of others had started to form as the buffet began to open officially, no one really cared about Jack or how he’d started early most of them were much too preoccupied with their own food to even notice him at all. Unbeknownst to the world around him Jack sank just a little bit lower into his seat as thoughts raced through his mind, thoughts of the girl, her proposal, and most importantly thoughts of fresh brewed coffee. Finally the staff had brought out the stainless steel kettles which held within them what Jack had been waiting for the entirety of the time he had been sitting with his new acquaintance, coffee. Almost as if by instinct Jack dropped everything that he was doing and made a line for his beloved drink. It was as if he had never had so much as a sip to drink the way that Jack tore through the beverage cart. He prepared two cups, each for himself, whilst sipping on a third he had thrown together in an instance. This much should hold him over for the rest of the day and as he reclaimed his still vacant seat, waves of warmth washing over him as he sipped on perfectly peculated coffee a thought occurred to him. Perhaps today could still be a good day.

Breakfast had come and gone, the sun was now waning in the sky and the birds had taken to fliting about as Jack looked on from the other side of a window. He hated being cooped up like this on such a beautiful day but it wasn’t like he really had all too much of a choice, part of his stay here was dedicated to group therapy seasons. Even though it was gray and the clouds threatened to part at any instant and release yet another flood Jack would have much rather been soaking wet than be stuck in the same uncomfortable chairs with the same people talking about the same problems day in and day out. It wasn’t as if he didn’t get it, after all the leader of this exercise had explained it to Jack more times than he had cared to count, this was simply to get people talking about their problems. He was told that once a problem was out in the open it much smaller and much more manageable than when it was only in his head, was it true? Jack was reluctant to say that this had helped him, though he’d be lying if he said it didn’t.

It had been awhile since Jack had started with this whole group therapy thing and already he could tell that his suicidal thoughts, though not quite gone, were no longer some taboo that he couldn’t think about let alone talk about. He supposed that in that regard this whole thing was working but it didn’t change his mind any. He’d still much rather be out in the world experiencing life rather than stuffed into a cramped room with ten other people, just to do what amounted to complaining. Still for the sake of his friends he endured the unrelenting boredom which he associated with this program. After all he was doing it just as much for them as he was himself. All those within attendance sat in a circle, each of them seated upon the same cheaply constructed metal folding chairs. There were drinks and a light assortment of snacks provided on tables on the far end of the room, Jack couldn’t help but remember all the AA meetings that he had seen on television and in movies up to this point.

Contrary to all those fictional portals of such meetings the ones that Jack was forced to sit through were completely and utterly boring. In the movies they always had interesting characters and horrible backstories behind their problems but here it was more or less just a bunch of people that were going through a similar thing as Jack. It strangely normalised his problems, before arriving here he felt as though he was the only one in the world who understood what he was going through, obviously he was well aware that there were people with their own problems but he could never see from beyond his own perspective. Now that he could though, now that he was confronted by the truth that there were people in the same boat as he was he could see his problems for what they really were. Problems to be certain but not these hulking behemoths that he had made them out to be in his head, no if others were living and fighting the same battle that he was it meant that perhaps this could be beaten.

Jack looked around the room at the familiar faces that gathered here every Monday morning and took his own version of rollcall. To his left was Mike, Jim, Ann, as well as Scott, He’d never really talked to any of them but they seemed like nice enough people. To his right sat Jackie, Lynn, other Mike, and the only other person in this room that Jack had actually held a conversation with other than himself, Percy. Percy was a rather rotund man in his late thirties who had a thick head of short length black hair that was usually slicked back, exposing the round features of his face. He was still a young guy but his forehead was creased and cracked from the weight of the life he had lived, the entirety of his face looking just that much older than he actually was. His nose was round and plump, much like the rest of him, and poked out from a bushy beard which sprouted forth from the bottom of his face like a well-groomed forest. Over all he was an interesting man, from what little the two had actual talked about Jack could tell that Percy was his kind of person, an honest upfront person who didn’t sugar coat what he had to say.

It may have helped that the first conversation that the two had, had was about their favorite pastime, reading. Jack may not have seemed so but he was an avid reader since he was in diapers and his obsession with written word had only ever gotten worse as time went on. Lately he hadn’t been indulging himself as much as he would’ve liked, considering all that had and still was happening it wasn’t too hard to see why but the instant he struck up a conversation with Percy the fires of passion were once more lit within him. They had spent the latter half of almost every session that they had with one another recommending authors or retelling tales of books they had read long ago and in a small way it made these unbearable seasons just a bit more bearable.

It was made abundantly clear from the outset that Percy was a well-educated man, or at the very least a well-spoken man. Whenever the two would converse Jack would have to put all his effort into making certain that he was caught up on the topic before he could actual form a rebuttal. The man’s mouth moved a mile per minute and the truly scary thing about it was that his thoughts must be moving even faster than that. Jack shuttered as he thought about it, he could barely stand the voices in his own head, he didn’t want to imagine how much they could say if they spoke as fast as he was assuming Percy’s did.

Jack Idly glanced at the clock, only half invested in the time as the meeting had just started and yet it already felt like an eternity. The others in the group were engrossed in telling one another about their week, how they were coping, what they were feeling, and Jack opted to sit there quietly nodding his head and half listening to what everyone had to say. Just enough so that if he happened to be asked anything he could give at least a vague answer in response instead of awkward silence. Jack had been perfecting the art of knowing just enough at any given time to give what on the surface sounded like an informed answer since his day of sleeping through high school. Only now that he was a dysfunctional adult did this skill really start to come into it’s own in terms of usefulness, Jack couldn’t count the number of times it had saved his ass when dealing with friends and family.

Unfortunately the focus on the group inevitably fell upon Jack, he didn’t much enjoy talking about himself but he did his best to get through it with all while putting on his best fake smile. “It was a good week for me… I’ve been enjoying my new surroundings and meeting new people, it’s really helped a lot to come here and talk with all of you.” His statements where followed by chatter but not much else as the group quickly moved onto the next person in line. It wasn’t as if he was lying about any of that either, he really was enjoying the change of scenery even if the reason why was beyond the boundaries of the institute and he was most definitely meeting new people. The woman from before crossed his mind as Jackie began to speak about how the last week here had treated her.