The long road to recovery

Chapter 4: Detox cont.

Jack could barely keep his eyes open as the meet drew to a close Ann, the leader of the group therapy sessions, giving the usual end of meeting recap for what they were to focus on in the following week. From what Jack caught the theme of this week was to be self-appreciation, Jack made certain to store that word in a special place for when next week rolled around, he’d be certain to work it into his little speech somehow. With everything settled and the group now dismissed the once quiet room began to fill with the sounds of idle chatter as the entirety of the group dismounted their chairs in unison. Jack and Percy both made straight for the refreshment table, the lukewarm pot of coffee and the few plain donuts looking better and better as the longwinded session droned on.

“Hey, good to see yah again, how are you settling in to our little slice of “paradise”? You just about ready to bash your head against a brick wall out of sheer boredom like I am?” Percy’s question was directed at Jack who stood next to him pouring himself a cup of coffee but his eyes remained fixed on the pastries before him. “Well don’t go running your fuckin’ mouth about it but I’ve actually found something to do here.” Percy chuckled as he turned to face his pal, half of a donut in his hands as he finished chewing the other half. “Trust me after a while even that gets boring but I’m sure that I got a book or two that I could lend you if you’d like.” Jack shook his head and sipped on his coffee, glancing yet again at the clock as though he had somewhere to be. “Not at all what I fuckin’ meant… but I’ll keep that in mind pal.” With that and a slight nod between them Jack took his leave, bringing with him a warm cup to warm his hand on the walk.

It wasn’t as though he really had anywhere specific to be, it was more so that he wanted to be anywhere but that room. He’d spent too much of his time here moving from one small room to the next, it was beginning to remind him a lot of prison. The only difference that he could find was that the food here was better and nobody had tried to stab him yet, other than that it was a one to one comparison. Well at least here he was free to look out at the birds as they went about their business within the trees, birdwatching was quickly becoming a pastime that Jack was starting to consider. It wasn’t as if he had a choice though, there wasn’t much else to do in the copious amounts of free time that he had while he waited between preplanned activities. Before enrolling in the program he was told that there were a great number of drop in classes that he could join but every time he walked by one such class he always felt too awkward to just jump right in.

Jack was fine with the way things were, he was comfortable on this bench out underneath the gray skies, watching the birds go about their business as he sipped on ever cooling coffee, it was all very comfortable. Or at least it was, up until an all too familiar sounding voice rang out towards Jack. The birds that he had been studying for quite some time scattered of in all directions as the bombastic voice of the food thief called out for him. Jack turned to see her a ways down the trail, waving her hand well above her head as she attempted to get his attention. It was working, all at once she was the only thing on Jack’s mind and it was most certainly not in a good way. His head hurt at the mere thought of having to deal with her so soon after just barely getting rid of her the first time, he couldn’t help but put his forehead in his hand. “I hope that you haven’t forgotten about tonight then, I’m looking forward to finding out about your secret.”

Jack was positively “ecstatic” to be seeing his absolute “favorite” person and he was not afraid to flaunt those feelings around. “What the f**k are you doing here, I thought you said 11’oclock, and here I was worried that I wouldn’t get the pleasure of meeting you again until then. Well be still my fuckin’ beatin’ heart. “ The mysterious woman gave him a laugh as she plopped right down next to Jack, giving him not even an instance to protest as she did. “Oh well I knew that you couldn’t make it through the whole day without me so I thought it might do you some good if I paid you a visit. Don’t get too happy though, I just stopped on my way to another appointment I’ll be out of your hair in just an instant.” Jack breathed a sigh of relief as his uninvited guest started down the path once more, a smile forming as he watched he go about her way. It wasn’t long before that smile was gone once more though, replaced by thoughts of what was to transpire later tonight.

As Jack sat upon the bench and sipped on his now ice cold coffee he couldn’t help but wear a disappointed scowl, he was going to have to deal with that woman yet again later tonight. Always an optimist Jack couldn’t help but cheer up as a thought crossed his mind, that could very well be their last interaction together. After all she had admitted directly to Jack himself that the only reason for her involvement in his life at all was pure curiosity. How disappointed she’d be after she found out that all he had be slipping away to witness was the beauty of the night sky and the companionship of a cat. For someone he couldn’t stand being around the thought of seeing her realise that there was no great secret made jack long to see what sort of face she’d make, if only a little bit.

Jack stood a moment before absentmindedly walking the paved pathway towards his living quarters, his body on autopilot as his mind wandered as it so often did. In just the few moments that it took for the food thief to leave Jack’s disposition towards their rendezvous had taken a complete 180. He was no longer absolutely dreading meeting up with that mysterious woman, on the contrary one could even say that he was looking forward to it. It was just that Jack was a man who enjoyed being right, not that it meant that he was all too often so he had to savor those precious few times when he could say “I told you so”. This would be one such moment and to make things even better he’d be saying it directly to that insufferably smug face, oh how he couldn’t wait.

The worn and weathered door to Jack’s room opened with it’s signature squeal, he kept forgetting to pick up something for that damn door. It wasn’t so much that it annoyed him but it made heading out in the dead of the night just that much harder in terms of stealth. Jack put a pin in that line of thinking for today as he closed the door behind him, flipping the switch for the singular light which hung from a cord in the center of room. It let off a warm light which bathed the entirety of the room, illuminating almost every nook and cranny. The room itself was pretty barren, not much else aside from the basic necessities and whatever little nick-knacks that Jack had managed to bring along with him. The first and most important piece of furniture that Jack had within his room was the simple twin sized bed, it had been pushed into the left-hand corner of the room and was (thankfully) a lot more comfortable than it let on. On it were two bright white pillows and an extra thick blanket, which Jack had grown to appreciate thanks to the chill which clung to the air in recent nights Across from the bed were the only other pieces of furniture to grace this little piece of land which Jack got to call home for the time being. In the corner directly across from the bed was a rather tall raw wood dresser, adored at the top with a personal mirror, some deodorant, and Jack’s favorite necklace. Attached to that was a simple wood desk with a simple black swivel chair that was exactly as uncomfortable as it seemed.

As for the state of the room, everything was mostly in order save for the odd pair of socks strewn across the floor or the plethora of writing utensils and pads of paper atop the desk. Other than that the walls were a little dirty, the window was cracked around the edges, and the door creaked but all of that had been that way since Jack had arrived. He was just glad that the room held its heat relatively well and that the heater just beneath his window, though definitely on its last leg, still somehow turned on. He had seen, and lived in, conditions far worse than those present with his room, hell his apartment had gone without heat for almost a week in the past year so for him this was a step up. It was a small room though, he could stand within the center of it and stretch his arms out as far as they would go and only just not be able to touch the walls of his room. As such he did everything possible to spend as little time within what essentially was nothing more than a well-furnished prison cell as possible.

Jack looked at his wrist, the small black watch adoring it telling him that it was only a tad past midday and yet he was already tired. He fell back hard into the cool comfort of his bed, staring up at the ceiling as todays events danced through his mind. He was only about a step away from his dresser but even still he didn’t feel as though getting up and getting changed was worth the effort at the moment, after all he only planned to rest his eyes for a bit. He still had one last appointment to get to and there was that meeting with that girl who wouldn’t leave him alone so he really didn’t have time to be sleeping. Despite knowing this Jack couldn’t help but feel at ease in his room, his eyelids growing heavier, and heavier as he continued to recall al that he had done during his stay at the institute. There really wasn’t a lot to look back on but by the time he had gotten to the last few days he couldn’t hold his eyes open anymore. His bed was just too welcoming and his body too comfortable to resist, Jack had fallen asleep.

By the time that Jack awoke his room was painted in the brilliant reds of the day’s fading sun, his vision blurry as he blinked the sleep out from the corners of his eyes. He gave a great big yawn as his eyes did their best to focus on the scene outside his window, it wasn’t too dark as of yet so he still had some time to swing by the cafeteria before heading out to do his daily routine. Jack stretched his limbs in the brilliant rays of orange and red, waking them up before he got himself redressed. The appointment that he had missed was the farthest thing from his mind as he dragged his still groggy ass out of bed, the only thing that he could fathom was a nice hot cup of coffee. Even this far out from his everyday life he was still the same Jack as he had been back in his rat’s nest of an apartment.

He took one last once over his apartment, double checking to see if he needed anything before heading out, thankfully he was green to go. Jack looked down at himself and gave a quick whiff of his shirt, recoiling near instantaneously as he was more than in need of a shower and some clean clothes. Though he may not have liked his box of a room very much it did come with its own private shower and toilet so for that he was very grateful. Jack was quick to strip down to nothing, grabbing his discarded clothing and forming it into a ball underneath his arm as he opened the door just before his bed. With the flip of a switch he was greeted by the unmistakable shine of white tile underneath florescent lighting, though not a pretty sight per se a welcomed one nonetheless. Taking a step into his own personal bathroom he tossed his ball of clothing into a white wicker basket just beside the door, only missing a few articles. Jack caught himself in the mirror and proceeded to give himself a thorough examination, though not the vain type he did prefer to keep everything in order. He needed a trim and a shave but other than that he was looking good, so with razor in hand he jumped into the shower. There wasn’t much that he could do about his hair until he saw a barber but he could take care of his face in the least.

Steam poured out of the bathroom behind him as Jack emerged from the shower, a smile on his face and a towel around his waist. Sadly there wasn’t anything in the way of cold drinks in his room but nothing beat the feeling of being clean, if not a tad bit hot. All that was left to do was to find some clothes, he had a couple spares in the dresser so that was no problem, though he’d have to do some laundry at some point in the future. Putting that fact as far away from his mind as possible he slipped on a fresh outfit, ready to hit the coffee bar fast and hard. With a flick of his wrist the lights were out and his robe was dawned. Jack, not wanting to forget anything, pat himself down one last time to make certain that he had everything he needed. “Keys… check. I.D. card… check. Am I forgetting anything… nope, all good to go.”

Jack savored the crisp air of sunset as he took his first deep breath of what he considered the night, closing his door as he prepared to set out. It was a tad bit chilly but Jack almost preferred it this way, it did a good job of waking him up so what was there to complain about. Plus with his robe on the chill of the autumn air was just barely tolerable, though he was definitely not looking forward to facing the winter if this was all that he was going to be equipped with. Hopefully by then the staff would issue out something warmer and a tad bit thicker than the glorified bath robes that they had to deal with now. On that note a thought crossed Jack’s mind, he was making due with the slippers provided but at some point it would start to snow so he might as well check in on footwear while he was at it. All that was for another day, as it stood he was comfortable and more focused on getting something in his stomach than he was to get something on his back.

The pathway which led to the cafeteria was still slick from whatever rainfall must’ve occurred while Jack was busy sleeping, the stones which comprised it glistened in the beautiful light of sunset. It was late by Institute standards, seven something by Jack’s estimate, and everything on the patient’s side was long since close but thankfully for him the watering hole stayed open until nine most nights. Jack was damn lucky that it did as well, when there’s absolutely nothing better to do you tend to find joy, or at least past the time, with a snack and a warm drink. It would’ve been a grand ol’ time if Jack had actually remembered to bring a couple of the books he had been holding back on reading, there’s little more that Jack enjoyed than a nice quiet place to read. With the amount of spare time that he had been given since he had gotten here Jack was absolutely certain that he could’ve finished at least one of them by now. It would’ve made the time fly by that’s for certain but Jack felt that there really was no point on dwelling on the things that he had forgotten to do. After all if things had gone differently he may have never even discovered what he considered to be the most beautiful thing that he had seen in a very long time.

The familiar worn brick exterior greeted Jack still weary eyes as he crested the final hill on his path. It wasn’t much farther now, only about a minute’s walk if he took things casually and he was planning on doing just that. Jack had a talent for taking things slow even if his mind was racing and his word was crumbling around him. That was actually part of the reason that it took his friends so long to figure anything was arye. Despite his world falling to pieces before his very eyes to the casual observer everything was as it always had been. Though things were quite as bad as they had been then his mind was already racing to create a horrible situation. First there was the mater of him missing his appointment, though he was certain it was no big deal he couldn’t help but feel bad about it. More important than anything that had already happened today was that, that was still left to happen later this very evening, his meeting with the strange woman from the cafeteria.

Jack still wanted to go and she her smug smile fade as she finally realized that he wasn’t truly hiding anything but at the same time he dreaded it with all his being. He had set this routine to help him adjust to how things were in the institute, who exactly was she to throw a wrench into his perfectly working plans? No matter how much Jack thought about her he just couldn’t get a handle on what kind of person she was exactly. She had stormed into his life demanding and reprimanding then she was gone just like that, a flash of lightning that he was unlucky enough to be struck by twice. Even unluckier still was the fact that he’d have to get struck just one more time before he’d be rid of her, why couldn’t he just continue with his routine? That’s all Jack wanted to do tonight, slip away from the dreary stone laden world of the institute and just exists underneath the cosmos. It was an escape, his escape to be more precise.

Before he knew it Jack was pulling the surprisingly sturdy metal doors to the lunch room once more, this time being greeted by the scents of sweets and pastries galore. He had never really fancied himself a desert man, it wasn’t that he disliked sweets he simply preferred the robust taste of a coffee or a cigarette after a meal. Due to the rather shocking lack of the later Jack had to make do with the latter, upping his usual dosage of four cups a day to an alarming six. Even he had begun to notice the side effects of doing so though; he was jittery at all times of the day, his breath always smelled of the drink, and when he crashed he crashed hard. Usually that last one would be the most damning but refreshingly Jack had the time to sleep while he was here, even if it wasn’t during the times that he should have.

Jack swirled the lukewarm canister of coffee in his hand as he looked for a suitable vessel for what would be his sixth cup of the day. His sleeping pattern may have been shot to all hell but if Jack was to be honest this was the most sleep he had been getting for a long time. The smell of roasted beans delighted his nose as he filled his cup to the brim with the wonderful liquid, wrapping both hands against the warm glass of his mug as he set the now empty pot back where he had found it. The room was sparkly populated by a few groups of people who enjoyed a late night coffee and cake with friends they had made during their stay, some of the faces seemed familiar but Jack was still in no state to be giving a damn about them. Jack much preferred the silence of solitude to the ruckus noise that a crowd provided, he relished the ability to be one with his thoughts as he sipped on his coffee and looked out a window to gaze upon the shifting colours of the sunset sky. Though it’s beauty was still something to behold even from the comfort of the mess hall this was to be but a taste of what was to come, an appetizer for the main course.

Jack, with nothing better to do, began to look out amongst the groups of people which sparkly populated the many seats of the cafeteria, indulging himself within one of his lesser known hobbies, people watching. Though he lacked the artistic skill to capture what he witnessed Jack was always interested in the human condition, and he loved watching the grand drama of life unfold before his very eyes. He’d often catch a couple in an argument, or a family on a trip out to a restaurant and he’d imagine what exactly had brought them to this point in life. Jack would spend days inventing backstories and motives in his head before moving onto his newest muse, discarding all that he had built up for his last family in order to wipe the slate clean. This had been going on for the majority of his life, ever since he could Jack could remember he had been disinterested with the reality provided to him and thus he would escape to worlds outside our own and crafted by his imagination. As the years went on Jack did his best to grow out of it but no matter what he did his love for the imaginary and theatrical was bound to shine through eventually.

As he looked around the room at the many vaguely familiar faces of the many vaguely familiar people that he was sure that he had interacted with at some point during his stay this far nothing came to mind. Jack was drawing a complete blank, none of these people could feed his creativity, they were all so bland, or at least they were to Jack. He couldn’t help but sigh as he raised the cup of coffee once more to his lips, this was going to be yet another boring evening within the cafeteria. For a moment he despaired before remembering exactly why he was here so early, Jack would gladly take boredom over what would surely prove frustrating beyond all measure like what was to come in but a few hours. There was no point in moping about over having nobody interesting to gawk at while he drank his coffee, thing could, and most certainly were going to, get much worse than they already were.

That was Jack’s line of thinking before he saw something that almost made him spit out a mouthful of his beloved coffee, almost. There, far beyond the reach of his voice and hopefully beyond the scope of her vision, sat the very woman that Jack was to meet only in a few short hours from now. His immediate thought was to leave as fast as he could but who was she to make him run at first sight, if anyone should leave it would be her. With that sorted Jack’s mind turned to the question of why, most importantly why was she here in the first place. Obviously this was a building that was open to the public and it housed the most important aspect of the institute as a whole, it’s food, but why was she here. It seemed as though she was just everywhere that Jack went, it was almost as if she was dead set on destroying his mood at any given chance. Like a bad cough she turned up almost anywhere and it was always at the worse possible times, after all Jack was just beginning to truly enjoy the relaxing atmosphere of the cafeteria before he noticed her.

Without a second though Jack was about to dismiss her existence as a whole before he realised something that he couldn’t just simply ignore, she was crying. There, on a bench alone in the corner of the room, the woman that Jack had been dreading meeting all day long sat bearing her emotions for all to see. She wasn’t shy about it in the slightest either, either she cared less about what others thought than Jack himself did or something major had gone down to get her to bawl like that in public. Even though this was somebody he could’ve lived a long and happy life without ever meeting again he couldn’t help but feel a tinge of pain as he saw the big glistening tears roll down her freckled cheeks. Jack gave a low grunt as he stood from his seat, making certain to bring his cup along for the ride. As he stood a though began to form in his mind, Jack could leave this place and never have to see this woman ever again, after all if something hurt her to the point of crying in public there was absolutely no way that she’d be meeting him later tonight. His eyes met the door as he imagined all of the stress free nights that laid ahead of him and his answer was clear, there was only ever one course of action available to him.