Keeping His Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 6

"Your mind is probably just messing with you, Genevieve. Your boss is not Kairo. The one and only Conrad Easton, the CEO himself, is not Kairo." Feliza said with her voice sounding firm. Sounding like nothing's going to change her mind, and nothing's going to convince her.

"Girl, Conrad Easton is not a stripper. He's like super duper far from being a stripper. I mean," She took a chip from the bowl and nonchalantly ate it. Making crunchy sounds and somehow leaving crumbs. "He's hot, and he's handsome and all, but I'm not buying it. I think that he'll rather go crazy being a businessman than be a stripper." Feliza took a sip from her glass that contains fresh orange juice.

I'm here with Feliza in her house, and just like what we like to do, we're eating snacks while talking about random stuffs.

But this time, it's no random stuff. It's about my boss that made me think that he's the man that showered me so much love the night that I got drunk; the night of my 27th birthday. I told her about all the dainty details that I noticed towards what Mr. Conrad Easton has been showing me.

Or should I say, hinting? A little more, I'm certain that I will kill my subconscious for always interrupting my relaxed state of mind. I hate it, it's luring me out of my sanity. And it's making me want to believe something that doesn't come with a confirmation at all.

Feliza's right. There's no way that Mr. Conrad Easton is the stripper that I adored, which is Kairo.

I have to always make myself believe that.

Whatever happens, I hope I'll be able to stay reasonable and firm for what I believe in. I need to strengthen my belief system. That's what I need to do right now as I go to work as his secretary.

I can't help but to look around the kitchen of Feliza's house. It's spacious, and it has all the kitchenware that anyone who would like to cook will find essential.

"Your house is big, Feliza." I said while munching chips in my mouth. Producing a muffled sound due to eating.

"It's his house, Genevieve. Not mine." She corrected me, and that made shrugged my shoulders. "Isn't it yours too now? 'Cause I believe that when you get married, whatever is in your husband's possession, will become yours too." I just laughed a little when Feliza grimaced after hearing what I said. "What? That's what my aunt told me." I reasoned out. "Well, me and my so-called husband doesn't believe that. In fact, we don't feel married to each other at all." She responded with a matter-of-fact tone of voice. I have no other choice but to be quiet instead and continue munching chips while looking around.

If I'm not mistaken, this is the second time that I got to hangout with Feliza in her house. And this is also the second time that I'm here and her husband is not around.

That somehow made me wonder.

"Where's your husband, by the way?"

She sighed before standing up and walking towards the refrigerator. "Work. He usually comes home around 7:30 PM." Then she opened the refrigerator, taking out two in-can beers. "Oh, okay. Do you guys eat dinner together?" There was nothing else for me to say, or to think of to disguise as a question. I'm trying my best to keep the conversation going without Feliza's mood changing into something unpleasant.

But I think I failed when she eyed me lazily while walking back to the stool that's just right beside me.

She sat on the stool, and now we're both in front of the island counter. Facing the bowl filled with innumerable potato chips and the pitcher with fresh orange juice.

She suddenly handed me one in-can beer as she give me her answer. "Sometimes, we eat dinner together. But most of the times? We don't. We're very civil and formal despite the fact that we got married in a church." My lips turned down, "Oh. That's sad?" She laughed at my answer. "Is that a question?" I just shut my mouth instead. I don't want to ruin the moment. She might burst, and I don't want for that to happen.

It has been a long day, and I don't know what can make me recover from it.

Sleep? I agreed with my subconscious this time. I think it's right. I deserve a long long sleep after what happened earlier. And speaking of what happened, I didn't have the courage to tell Feliza about it. I don't know where to start, and I don't how to explain it well to her. I might confuse her, and she might tell me that it's all just because my head is too creative for capturing my boss as Kairo. I know she would think that way. That's how she is. And I absolutely can't do anything about that.

"Let's continue talking about your boss." Feliza meaningfully looked at me when she caught my eyes with her. She even giggled like she's excited to say something that will certainly make me overthink.

I hate it. I got a boss who's complicated and making me feel confused, and I also got a friend that comforts me and that has the ability to cause me to overthink.

I think I'm meant to be around with these kind of people. I'm just going to accept my fate, rather than complaining all my life. Completely wasting opportunities, and the one and only lifetime that each of us is born with.

Yeah, that's right.

You only live once, so try everything to make the best of it.

"What do you want to talk about my boss?" I asked while trying my best to pretend that Conrad has no effect at me all. "Everything. All the sudden turns that both of you took since you became his secretary." Feliza, then, sighed after realizing that I'm only a temporary secretary. Only going to last for two months.

I inwardly laughed at that. Temporary, yet I think I'm going to lose my mind for being around my boss even for just two months. I didn't know that I have to put up with work, and the CEO himself. It wasn't mentioned when he offered me the job role that I'm filling right now.

Well, I just hope he'll eventually change for the better. For the people that probably doesn't understand him too. Including me, and his close buddy, Záviš.

"I think Mr. Easton likes you, Genevieve."

I gaped at Feliza, "What the hell are you saying? There's no such thing as my boss liking me. I'm a nobody in work." Feliza looks like she's not going to believe what I said as she continue to prove what she sees towards my situation, and from her point of view. "You're a nobody for you, but not for him. He's not Kairo, right? So, what else could be the meaning of everything that he's hinting you?" I just frowned at her. I'm trying to divert my attention from what she just said. I mean, there's really no way that he could like me. It's so so so far from being true. And I don't want my subconscious to have a brand new reason to overthink such things.

It's stupid.

I shook my head, "You're the one who's losing your mind here, Feliza. Not me." She just laughs as she opened the in-can beer and drinks it for a moment. I decided to do the same, and to continue convincing myself that everything is not as weird as it seems. "So, if I'm also losing my mind, then what is your final and only assumption for that?" I squinted my eyes at her, "I'm not assuming." She stuck out her tongue at me. "You are, Genevieve. You just keep on denying it. 'Cause of course, you're... in denial." I tried to quickly think of something else that would serve as my final assumption concerning my situation. Due to the reason that I know that Feliza will just keep on shoving it to my face that I'm assuming.

Well, for me, I'm not.

Not assuming, at all.

"Your boss likes you—"

"I'm probably just missing Kairo, Feliza."

There I said it. That's the best that I could think of.

"Everything that we did, the careless me, the feeling, the sensation, and the love making, of course." My heart started beating fast after what I said. Flashbacks also appeared in my head and they caused butterflies in my stomach. Providing a ticklish feeling as they flutter their wings.

"Ooh, missing him, huh." She looked at me teasingly as she also used her index finger to tickle me. That made me think that she believes the only reason that I could think of. "What if you visit him again at the strip club?" My eyes widened, "What? I can't do that. Just like what you said, it's expensive there. Right? I can't spend a lot just to see him." Feliza huffed that sounded like she's against what I said. "Come on, satisfy yourself? Try to hit off again with him?" I rolled my eyes at her. "It's not my birthday anymore, Feliza. Meaning, he's not for free anymore." I watched her lips turned down as it ended up being a pout. I'm glad that I don't need to explain further why I can't see Kairo again, or why I can't visit that strip club again.

"Hmm, maybe I could tell my friend to give you a pass?"

"What? No, that's not a good idea."

Like always, I'm opposed to her crazy ideas. But sometimes I would end up going along with her; going with the flow. Because during those times, I also think that it's not bad to take a little risk.

They say life is a rollercoaster ride. But for me, it is not if you'll always choose rational thoughts to abide.

"I'm trying to help you here, Genevieve. You should accept my offer before you completely lose your mind." She finished drinking her beer, and she once again stood up to throw its can to the trash bin. "I'll be like, 'I'm sorry for your loss.' once I see you in a mental hospital." She grinned, making it worse.

There's no way that I'll accept her offer. It's too much. If I would want to have fun again in that strip club, I should be able to pay for myself. It's so embarrassing to have Feliza's friend to give me a pass.

And who is this friend anyway?

I was about to ask Feliza about her friend when I suddenly had a glimpse of the wall clock.

It's almost 7.

"I need to go home now, Feliza."

She rolled her eyes. Probably because I dodged her offer. But I seriously need to go home now before her husband arrives. I don't want to witness them being civil and formal to each other. It'll be awful and the atmosphere will be awkward. I never met Feliza's husband before, but I don't have any plans on meeting him either.

"Okay, go on. Take care."

"Thank you, I will. You too."

I gave her a tight hug as I bid my goodbye. I walked my way out of her huge house, and I was thanking God that I didn't get lost.

A little more, this house will be definitely be defined as a mansion. And to think, that the only people that occupy their house is Feliza herself and her husband, is sort of amazing and quite going to cause a headache. I can't imagine myself living in such a huge house with only me and my future husband.

Future husband? Am I even going to be married soon?

I grimaced, "Geez, I don't think so."

On my way home, I took a taxi and the whole ride was quite short. Actually, I could even walk the distance between my condominium and Feliza's house. But I realized that I was wearing a pair of sandals, and I would end up hurting my feet after walking for a long time.

When I arrived, I ordered food 'cause I was too exhausted to cook dinner for myself. And it's going to be a waste of food if I'll cook a lot since I'm kind of full. I can even taste the beer in my mouth that I had earlier.

I went to the shower room to bathe myself before I sleep. I wore my favorite pajamas and was surprised when I fell asleep early.

---

Waking up, I groaned when I heard my alarm clock making noises to remind me that I need to get up early.

For work, of course.

This is my daily routine. And I can't accept the fact that I'm still not used to it. I still feel lazy sometimes to get up, and to start my day with a good mood. It's very exhausting, but I need to do it 'cause it's the only reason I have that I also consider as my only purpose in this world to live.

I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and I checked Mr. Easton's schedule for today.

I almost cried when I saw that it's once again full.

"Does he have even just one day without all these things to do?" I complained even though that I'm the only one here. I don't think that I can keep on living like this. Take note, I'm always grateful that I'm only temporarily his secretary. Only for two months; luckily, not for eternity. 'Cause if it was for eternity, I would absolutely quit and would spend my whole life with my aunt instead in Chicago.

Just like everyday, I took a shower and groomed myself. Today, I only wore high waisted jeans and a dark green turtleneck sweater. I tied my hair into a messy bun, and I wore a necklace and a pair of gold earrings that I bought a week ago.

This is why we work. Every time that I see myself wearing the things that I love, that's when I get a hint of inspiration to continue working. I mean, are we really going to fool ourselves that we work not because of money? I'm certain that there are people who works and decided to have jobs that they're passionate to do. I'm one of those people, but I'm certain that money is the root of it all.

And truth to be told, money can buy happiness.

There are people out in the world that are not satisfied with what they have, and with what they can afford because they envy those people that are satisfying their selves with lavish things.

That's one of the reasons why humankind is bound to be their own downfall.

We always want what we can't have.

Going to work, I used my car this time. I actually got my baby yesterday, but I didn't use her yet. I'm somewhat afraid, so I gave her another rest day.

When I arrived at the building, I received a text from Mr. Easton. He usually do this every morning to inform me that I will eat breakfast with him. I got used to it, honestly. I don't have any complains, and I don't have anything to say but the choice to be grateful instead. It's Clara's though. No one says 'no' to Clara's.

Well, maybe other people who haven't tried their specialties yet.

After putting my bag in my cubicle, I went to the coffee corner to drink some coffee. I also prepared a black coffee for sir Conrad because he also likes starting his day with a cup of coffee. Until today, I'm still wondering why he goes to work without drinking coffee or eating breakfast. I won't deny that I'm also a doer, but I only do it sometimes though. For him, it's everyday.

"Good morning, early bird."

I just smiled at him and greeted him back when I heard his voice. "Good morning too, sir." I handed him his coffee, "Here's your black coffee, sir." He accepted it in an instant that he was a bit startled when he felt it hot. "Careful. Why are you in a rush, it's so early." We both laughed at that.

Sipping coffee, silence reigned between us. I would sometimes look at him and I would sometimes catch him looking at me. I noticed that he haven't combed his black hair yet, and it's still kind of wet. Meaning, he just had a shower and that he rushed all the way here.

If I was the boss, I wouldn't bother coming to work very early. Why is he pressuring his self this much?

"I like your outfit today." I almost spit the coffee out of my mouth after the compliment that he just said. And then I tried to keep it simple. I wanted him to think that I'm not buying his compliment. "You're only saying that because you want to be forgiven." His lips turned down at that, "No, but I also want to be forgiven." I chuckled at his state, and just continued drinking my coffee. I decided not to say anymore words to end our conversation. I wanted the silence to keep on going. I like it this way, the whole place is so quiet due to the reason that workers are not yet around. But then sir Conrad started talking again, and I decided to just let him be.

"I guess, I won't be forgiven then." He looks away, but he looks like he's into something that he's about to do now. And when his sea green eyes caught mine, he made me hold his coffee cup which confused the hell out of me.

"Keep your eyes on me." Just like what he said, I indeed kept my eyes on him. Challenging myself as I focus on his pupil that's dilating. He took a step forward as I take a step backwards. And when my back hit against the wall, I asked him. "Is this a staring contest?" He shrugged his shoulders, "Is it?" And then I realized that he cornered me with each of his arm on each side of my shoulders.

My heart started pounding as I helplessly breathe and struggle to keep my cool.

"What else should I do for you to admit?"

Admit? Admit what?

"I badly want you to come clean. That you're being in denial. That you're convincing yourself that you don't know anything." His voice was deep, but at the same time smoky and and quite low. I found myself liking it when my eyes fell down to his naturally red lips. His face is only inches away from mine, and it's killing every fiber of my being.

The anticipation.

It feels like it's tormenting me.

His nose touches mine, and my mind lost its sanity. It lost its control, and it's no longer in the right state.

"Come clean, Eve." He whispered.

With that, he presses his lips into mine and I almost drop the coffee cups on my hands. My eyes automatically closed when I felt his lips moved. He cupped my face with both of his hands, and I felt one of his thumbs caressing my cheek.

I savoured the sensation. I move my lips the way that his does. So soft, and my lips were so docile to follow his with its own way.

He bit my lower lip, and he earned a throaty moan from me. Which made him chuckle and stop. I didn't know how many seconds the kiss lasted, but as his face finally parts away from mine, I inwardly wished that it was longer. I was longing for that without my knowledge.

I gulped as I stare at his handsome face. Trailing his every feature with my eyes as I learn to adore every detail.