Whiskey In The Water

Chapter 11-Lori-Part One

Chapter 11

Lori

It’s been a few days and I’ve been struggling. Logan has been affectionate but the more I think about the hell that Mary has been through, the more I think about what I’ve been through. My father beat me. He didn’t even know that Jake was raping me. How can a parent not know…or care what’s happening to their own child? How can a parent not care about their child period. I’m sitting in my office, in my window seat, blanket over my lap, journal in hand. What I didn’t tell Logan was that I wasn’t using the journals for poetry. I’ve been using it to write out my thoughts. It helps some but I feel like I’m keeping things from Logan. Maybe I am. I’ve not told him what’s going through my mind. Sometimes he asks what’s on my mind but it’s like he can see my mind spinning and trying to work things out, so he gives me my space.

I look up when I hear the knock on my door. “Come in.” I say and Logan walks into my office. “Hey baby. Thought you might be hungry.” He says before sitting the tray of fruit on my desk. I put my journal down on the window seat and walk over to him. He opens his arms and I walk into his embrace and it’s the safest place I’ve ever been. He kisses the top of my head and says, “You’ve been quiet today.” I feel him squeeze me tighter. “I won’t push you to talk about it but I’m here if you need to.” He tells me. I’m not sure how to explain it all to him so I walk back over to my journal and hand it to him, open to the entry I was just writing. “What’s this?” he asks when he sees it’s not poetry. “It’s my journal. Writing in it helps me work through what’s in my head.” I tell him. “Honey, these are your private thoughts. I’m not reading this.” He tells me. “I want you to.” I tell him. He points to the tray and says, “Eat please.” And I nod. I take the plate and walk over to my couch, and he follows me. Neither of us say anything as he reads the pages. Once he finishes, he closes the journal and looks at me. “Is there anything I can do?” he asks. “You’re already doing it. Kathy said I would have setbacks. I called her. Had a session over the phone. She said it’s normal for things to trigger me. Even if I’m not having full on panic attacks and it’s just my mind wondering, it’s normal. Writing helps.” I tell him.

After I eat, he pulls me close and says “I was thinking about something. We need some time to relax. I was thinking about a family night.” He tells me. “Family night?” I ask. “Yeah. Us, Alice, Izzy, Ashton, and their kids along with Evan and Mary. We can all hang out in the theater room and veg out. Relax and watch some movies. What do you think?” she asks. “I’d love that. There are so many movies I wanted to watch growing up, but dad wouldn’t let me watch them.” I tell him. “Well, we have all the streaming apps so we can watch whatever you want.” He tells me. “I’m game for anything but we have to watch The Goonies.” I tell him. “f**k I love you. That was my favorite movie growing up.” He tells me and I snuggle into him.

That Saturday morning, I have Hans take me to the mission. “Would you like me to wait Mrs. Edwards?” he asks. “If you don’t mind. I won’t be long.” I tell him as he helps me out of the back seat. I walk into the mission and to Mary’s room. I knock on her door and when she answers, I walk in and say “Pack some things for the weekend. We’re having a family weekend.” I tell her. “What?” she asks, confused. “So, we’re getting all of us together, including you and Evan and we’re piling up in our theater room and watching movies all weekend.” I tell her and she smiles. “Evan’s going to be there?” she asks. “Yeah. Speaking of Evan. What’s going on with you two?” I ask. “He’s a nice guy. I still can’t believe he sent mom to rehab. I mean, I hate how she treated me but I know I didn’t deserve it, but it makes me wonder if she would have been like that had she not been an addict.” She says. “Only time will tell but if you tell Evan you want to keep tabs on her, he will.” I tell her. “I might ask about that. He’s been here to see me almost every day. Texts me every night.” She tells me. “He’s a good man. You can trust him.” I tell her. “I hope so.” She tells me before zipping up her backpack and heading out to the car with me.

Pulling up at home, we get out of the car and head inside. I take Mary to one of the guest rooms so she can put her things in there. “Would you be okay with us putting Evan next door to you?” I ask. “I think so.” She tells me. “Just wanted to make sure. I want you to be comfortable.” I tell her. “Thank you. I’m just glad none of you treat me like I’m broken. I mean, I know I’m damaged goods and I don’t know why Evan is spending all this time with me when he can have literally anyone he wants but it helps me remember that I can heal.” She tells me. “Okay, one, you’re not damaged goods so we’re not saying that again. Two, he’s spending time with you because you’re worth it and he sees that. Three, I’ve been through hell just like you have so I understand the need to feel normal. I mean, we’re never going to be normal but we’re our version of normal.” I tell her and she hugs me.

We head into the kitchen and hear everyone talking and laughing. As we walk in, one of Izzy’s kids runs up and says, “Hi Aunt Lori.” And hugs my legs. “Hey buddy.” I say. “Who’s this?” he asks. “This is Mary. She’s mine and your mom’s best friend.” I tell him. “Are you my aunt too?” he asks. Mary looks at Izzy and she nods her head yes. She looks back down at Izzy’s son and says “I sure am. Is that okay with you?” she asks. “Yep. Do you like ice cream?” he asks, and she laughs and says “I do. Chocolate is my favorite.” She tells him. “Mine too. Mommy, Aunt Mary likes chocolate too.” He says before running off to Izzy to get ice cream. Mary looks around and sees Evan and smiles. “Go ahead.” I tell her and she walks over and stands next to Evan, and they start talking.

Logan comes over and puts his arms around me and puts his hand on my stomach. My baby bump has just started showing and I can’t wait to feel the baby moving around. “How’s my grandbaby?” Alice asks. “Hungry.” I tell her and everyone laughs before Alice pushes a plate of my favorite fruits over to me. “Eat mama. Gotta feed our baby.” Logan whispers before kissing my shoulder.

After we get all of our snacks, we head to the theater room and see pallets on the floor in the front and blankets in the seats and there are some that are loveseat recliners. Alice told us that she would stay in the theater room with the kids so that we don’t have to move them when they go to sleep. Ashton and Izzy take one loveseat. Logan and I are on another, and Mary and Evan are on another. “What’s first?” Ashton asks. “The Goonies.” Logan says and I look up at him and smile. “That’s a good one.” Evan says. “I’ve never seen it.” I tell him. “Oh, you’re going to love it then.”

Four movies later, the kids are sleeping and so is Alice. Logan helps me up and all three couples slip out of the theater room and into the kitchen for a nightcap. I slip onto one of the stools and Logan moves to get me a cup of tea. We are all sitting at the island and Evan says “This was a great idea. It’s been a long time since I just relaxed and some of those movies I haven’t seen in years.” He says. “It was fun. What’s the plan for tomorrow?” I ask. “Well, Ashton and I have plans with the kids, so we’ll be heading out after breakfast.” Izzy tells us. “I’m good for the day.” Logan says. “I’ve been wanting to check out that new art museum that opened up in town.” I say. “That sounds fun. What do you think, Mary?” Evan asks. “I think I’m just going to head back to the mission. Finish the book I’ve been reading.” She says and looks really uncomfortable. “You know, I could use some air. Want to walk the garden with me, Mary?” I ask and she nods her head yes before standing and following me outside.

We walk out past the patio and to the entrance of the garden. “What’s going on? I thought you’d like the museum.” I say. “I would love to. But I don’t have any money.” She says. “Hold up. No. If you want to go to the museum, we’re going.” I tell her. “Lori, I can’t afford it.” She tells me. “Well, I can and that means you can but I’m telling you right now, Evan isn’t going to let you pay for anything.” I tell her. “It’s not his place to pay for me though.” She tells me. “Oh honey, that man is head over heels for you. He’s going to want to spoil you. Do you want to check out this museum?” I ask. She nods her head yes. “Then we’re going and you’re not going to stress about anything. You’re going to let that man spoil you.” I tell her. “Lori…” she starts. “Lori nothing. Trust me?” I ask and she nods her head yes. “Then you’re going.” I tell her before taking her hand and leading her back inside.

As soon as we walk back into the house, she walks over to her stool beside Evan, and he takes her hand. “Are you okay?” he asks. “I think so. Um…if it’s okay, I’d like to go to the museum.” She says softly. “Then we’ll go.” He tells her and kisses her knuckles. We finish our drinks and head to our rooms. As soon as Logan and I are in bed he asks, “Is Mary okay?” I snuggle up to him and say “I think so. She said she wanted to go tomorrow but she didn’t have the money. I basically told her that she was crazy if she thought Evan was going to let her pay for anything.” I tell him. “He was worried that she didn’t want to spend time with him.” He tells me. “No, she likes him. A lot actually, but she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him. But I did tell her that she is good enough for him, but I know he’s not going to give up on her.” I tell him. “You’re right on that. I’ve never seen him like this about a woman before.” He tells me.

The next morning, we are dressed and saying goodbye to Ashton and Izzy. The kids hug us all and take off running out the door laughing. “I want that someday.” I tell Logan. He puts his hand on my stomach and says, “We’re working on it.” We head out to the car and see it’s a limo. “Logan.” I say and he smirks. “We’re going out in style today.” He says and I look at Mary. She’s standing next to Evan and looking at the car and I see her slip her hand into Evan’s and I smile. “Come on.” I tell her and we all get into the limo. Logan and I on one side and Mary and Evan on the other and she’s still holding his hand. I see him lean over and whisper something in her ear and she nods her head yes and he kisses her temple.

We pull up in front of the museum and the guys get out and help us out. Once inside, we walk up to the front desk and purchase our tickets. “Meet back here in a couple of hours?” I ask and everyone agrees. Logan and I head one direction and Evan and Mary head the other direction. We walk up to the first piece. It’s a painting of a faceless mother, breastfeeding her child with papers, calculators and men screaming in the background. Looking at the description plate, I read aloud. “This piece depicts the struggles a mother faces trying to be mother and provider while society makes her feel like she’s doing everything wrong.” I read. I stand there for a minute and think about that piece. I put my hand on my stomach and say “Why does society do that? I mean, you have women out there that are single mothers, having to work and take care of their kids by themselves. Not always by choice.” I say. Logan doesn’t speak. He just lets me speak. “I’m lucky. Honestly if it weren’t for you, I don’t know if I would have even kept the baby. I may have had to give my baby up.” I tell him. “I hate that you would even have to think about that. Is that why you want to help young mothers?” he asks. “Yeah.” I say as we start walking and looking at the other pieces. “I just keep thinking about how I would feel if you wouldn’t have chosen me. If I were having to do it all alone. I never want to give up one of my babies but what if I didn’t have any other choice? I know I grew up with a horrible father, but I still deserve the chance to be a good parent. Right?” I ask. “Absolutely. All young women should have that chance. We’ll talk to Izzy about adding those services to the mission. I wonder if you would be able to run it without your degree or if you’ll have to wait until you, have it?” he asks. “I don’t know. If I can do it without a degree, I want to. What if I just head the program? I wouldn’t have to have the degree then but would still be able to set things up to help.” I say. “We will get with Izzy and see what we can find out.” He tells me.

A couple of hours later, we meet Evan and Mary at the entrance and head back out to the limo. Getting inside, I ask Mary, “What did you think?” She smiles wide and says “It was amazing. I got a lot of inspiration in there too.” She tells me. “I did too.” I tell her and Evan asks, “What inspiration did you get?” I smile at Logan and then back to him and Mary and say “I had been tossing around the idea of getting my degree in social work and setting up a program to help young mothers to get on their feet so that there are fewer young mothers having to put their babies up for adoption. I don’t know what I would have done had it not been for Logan.” I tell them. “Can I help too?” Mary asks. “Oh yeah. We can get with Izzy and see what we can do to get it started.” I tell her and she smiles. We sit in silence, and I see Mary sitting with her head on Evan’s shoulder and I smile.

We pull up to the restaurant. “We were just talking about this place.” Mary says. “You were?” Evan asks. “Yeah. We were talking the other day about it. She said she hoped that someday she’d be able to eat here.” I say and Evan smiles at her and says “Well, let’s make that wish come true.”

We get out of the car and walk inside, and the hostess seats us by the windows and the view is incredible. “This is beautiful.” I say as I look out the window. “It is.” Mary says. Our waiter arrives and asks what we want to drink. “Water for me.” I say. “Water please.” Mary says. “I’ll have a sweet tea.” Evan says. “Oh, can I change mine to sweet tea too?” Mary asks. “Makes hers a sweet tea as well.” Evan says. “I’ll have water as well.” Logan says and the waiter heads to get our drinks. We start looking at the menu and when the waiter returns, we start placing our orders. “I’ll have a steak, medium well, house potatoes and chef salad, ranch dressing.” Logan says. “That sounds good. I’ll have the same.” I say. “What about you ma’am?” the waiter asks. “I’m not sure.” Mary says. “Would you like me to order for you?” Evan asks and she nods her head yes, seeing that he sees she’s uncomfortable. “We’ll both have the house potatoes, house salad, thousand island dressing and we’ll try the fried catfish. Does that sound good to you baby?” Evan asks Mary and she says “Perfect.” Before the guys hand the menus back to the waiter. “Your food will be out shortly.” He says before walking away. “Is that okay with you? If you want something else, we can change your order.” He says. “No, I like everything you ordered. Thank you.” She tells him.

After we eat, we head back home and Mary heads to the guest room to get her things. Walking back out, Evan asks “Would you be okay with me taking you home?” She nods her head yes and they hug us goodbye before heading out the door. Logan and I head to the patio, and he has a cup of coffee, and I have a cup of tea. “This weekend was fun. Thank you, Logan.” I say. “It was fun for me too. How are you feeling?” he asks. “I’m okay. Tired. Feet hurt a little.” I tell him. He moves his chair and lifts my feet into his lap and starts to massage my feet. “That feels good.” I say and I’m starting to feel more relaxed. “You’re going to hate doing this when I’m nine months pregnant and can’t see my feet.” I tell him. “Nope. I’ll do this every day for the rest of our lives if it makes you happy.” He tells me. I look up at him and say, “I kind of hit the husband lottery didn’t I?” I ask and we both start laughing. We sit outside and talk for a while before heading inside to bed.

Once we’re in our bedroom, I go to shower and ask, “You want to join me?” Logan looks at me and smirks and asks, “Are you sure?” I nod before taking his hand and leading him into the bathroom. “Let’s take a bath instead.” He says and I start the water and plug the tub. Once the tub is filled and we’ve stripped down, he steps into the tub before helping me in and we both sit down. I am leaned with my back against his chest and my arms are on the side of the tub while he has one arm around me, on my stomach, and the other is at my side, gently rubbing up and down my thigh. “This is so relaxing. It’s been the best day, Logan. I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun.” I tell him. “It was. We’ll have to have more days like that.” He tells me. His fingers start rubbing circles on my stomach and he says “I can’t wait to see your baby bump. Feel the baby kicking.” I put my hand over his and say “I can’t wait. Izzy was telling me that when she was pregnant, Ashton would get a kick out of making the baby move. She said her stomach looked like it was possessed.” I tell him, laughing. “That will be interesting to see.” He tells me, laughing with me.

After our bath, we get into bed, and I pull out my journal and go to head towards the door. “Where are you going?” Logan asks. “I was going to go to my office. I don’t want to keep you up, but I want to write.” I tell him. “Come here. I’ve got some things I want to look at online, so you won’t be keeping me up.” He tells me. “Are you sure?” I ask. “Yes baby.” He tells me and I move back to the bed and sit against the headboard and start writing. He has his tablet out and I’m not looking at what he’s doing. I’m in the middle of writing and he says, “Quick question.” I look at him and he asks, “Where’s one place you’ve always wanted to go?” I look at him confused but say “I’ve always been obsessed with Greece.” I tell him. “Okay.” He says and goes back to his tablet. “What are you doing?” I ask. “Doing a little research. Ashton was telling me that before Izzy got too far along to travel that he took her on a babymoon to Italy.” He tells me. “What’s that?” I ask. “It’s like a vacation so you can relax and be pampered before the baby comes.” He tells me. “You want to do that?” I ask. “Of course. And we didn’t really get to go on a honeymoon. It could be both.” He tells me. “I love you.” I tell him before kissing him softly and he books the trip, and I finish writing in my journal before we decide to call it a night.

Waking up the next morning, we get to the kitchen and Lori isn’t looking so good. “Are you okay sweetheart?” Alice asks. “Morning sickness. It’s not been too bad but this morning it’s killing me.” I tell her. “Let me get you something to help.” She tells me before heading to the pantry. She brings over a small bottle and a spoon. Filling the spoon, she tells me “Take this.” I take it because I trust her. “What was it?” I ask. “Vanilla extract. One spoonful of it will help the nausea. Old trick my mom taught me when I was younger.” She tells us. “Now, try to get some of this fruit down and relax today.” She tells me and I nod and start eating my fruit. “You need me to stay home?” Logan asks. “No. I’m just going to pile up on the couch with Clyde and watch some movies or something.” I tell him.