Whiskey In The Water

Chapter 6-Logan

Chapter 6

Logan

After tucking Lori in, I head to my room with Clyde. He moves to his bed in the corner of the room, and I pull a book from the shelf and sit in my chair in the corner and start to read. It’s hard to concentrate on the words, knowing Lori is in the room next door. This is a big step for her. I know she’s worried about her nightmares, but they aren’t going to scare me off. I’m in this for the long haul. I pour two fingers of bourbon and settle in to start trying to read again when Clyde’s ear perks up. “What is it boy?” I ask and he jumps up and moves to the door. He’s whimpering and pacing between me and the door. “Okay boy. Let’s see what’s got you so riled up.” I tell him before opening the bedroom door. He runs right to Lori’s bedroom door and looks back at me. I slowly open the door and hear her whimpering and crying “Please don’t. Please don’t hurt me.” And I know she’s having a nightmare. I slowly walk to the bed and sit on the side and Clyde climbs on the bed and lays his head next to her hand. I start caressing her face and move close to her ear. “I’m here baby. I’ve got you. Come back to me sweetheart. You’re safe.” And she stops whimpering and when she finally opens her eyes, she sees me sitting there and looks to her other side and sees Clyde.

She moves to sit up and I take her hand, and Clyde moves closer to her and she says, “I’m sorry.” I cup her face and say “Don’t ever apologize. None of it was your fault. You are beautiful and perfect and you’re mine.” And she starts to cry. “Why are you crying baby?” I ask. She starts telling me about how she feels like every time she starts getting closer to me, she falls ten steps back. “Honey, this isn’t going to scare me away, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.” I tell her and we agree again to no secrets. She asks how I knew she was having a nightmare, and I tell her how Clyde was acting, and she rubs the top of his head.

She asks me if I will stay with her, and we both slip under the covers and Clyde moves to lay at our feet on the bed. She lays with her back to me, and I wrap my arms around her and snuggle up against her and kiss her shoulder. “Is this, okay?” I ask her and she turns to face me. Before I know it, she kisses me, and I feel her tongue run along my lips and I pull back to look at her and ask, “Are you sure?” She nods and I lean in and kiss her again and we deepen the kiss. I’ve kissed women before, but this feels like something deeper. Like something that sets my soul on fire. “I love you, Lori.” I whisper and she looks at me. “I know you’re not there yet and that’s fine. There’s no rush. But I need you to know how I feel. I love you and our baby.” She softly says “I’ll get there. I promise.” Before snuggling against my chest and falling asleep.

After she falls asleep, I lay there, holding her close. This is what it will be like when we’re married. Her laying here, in my arms, carrying my child. Our dog at our feet. This is all I’ve wanted since the minute I met her. She’s been through hell and back, but I get to have a family with a woman that is so strong and compassionate. I loved Maura but this is deeper. I feel like I can’t breathe without Lori. And getting to be a father. I make a mental note to get her a debit card to my account and maybe look at getting her a car. We will have to sit down and see what all she wants and is ready for. I don’t want to push her.

The next morning, I wake up and Lori is still sleeping. I slip into my bedroom and get dressed but Clyde stays on the bed with Lori. He seems to want to protect her as much as I do. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen and Alice is in there making breakfast. “Good morning, Logan.” She says. “Morning mom.” I say. “How’s our girl?” she asks. “She’s still sleeping. She had a nightmare last night.” I tell her and she looks at me worried. “Didn’t she sleep in a separate room?” she asks. “Yeah but apparently, Clyde heard her and whimpered until I opened my bedroom door, and he went right to her.” I tell her. “He’s a good dog and German Shepherds are a protective breed.” She tells me. “I know. She asked me to stay with her last night.” I tell her. “That’s progress. One thing to remember about her is she’s going to have setbacks. That’s normal for what she’s gone through.” She tells me. “I’m not going anywhere.” I tell her and she smiles.

I walk back up the stairs and into Lori’s bedroom and Clyde raises his head. When he sees that it’s me, he lays back down. I move to Lori’s side of the bed and stroke her hair. “Lori, baby. It’s time to wake up. Breakfast is almost done.” Her eyes flutter open, and she smiles softly. I lean down and kiss her softly. “Good morning beautiful.” I say softly. “Morning handsome.” She says and I smile at her. She sits up and I move to let her up and she says, “I’ll be down in a minute.” I nod and say, “I’ll see you downstairs.” Before heading for the door and Clyde follows me.

I let Clyde out the back door and move to the island. About the time that Alice places our plates on the island, Lori comes in and takes the seat next to me. We start eating and she says “Can I borrow your phone? I need to call Kathy.” She tells me. “You need a session?” I ask. “Yeah.” She says and looks down at her plate. I tilt her chin up to look at me and say “Finish eating, and I will text her to meet you in her office. While you’re with her, I’ll pick you up a phone on my plan.” I tell her. “You don’t have to do that. My phone is fine.” She tells me. “Your phone is a burner. I’ll get you one on my plan.” I tell her and she nods subtlety.

After eating and driving her to the mission. I walk her in, and Kathy meets her in the lobby. Lori looks at me and I lean down and kiss her. “Use your burner to text me when you are done, and I’ll be here to get you.” I tell her. “I will.” She says before I watch her and Kathy walk towards her office. I walk out the door and to my car. My first stop is to get her a cell phone. “I need to get a phone added to my account.” I tell the salesman. “Which phone are you looking at?” he asks. “I have the newest iPhone, and I need the same model. I also need a screen protector on it and either a green or yellow phone case.” I tell him and he goes to get what I asked for.

After getting Lori’s phone, I head into the bank and am greeted by the manager. “How can I help you today Mr. Edwards?” he asks as he leads me to his office. “I need to get a second card for my account. I need it to have the name Lori Jones on it.” I tell him and he says “Let me get the paperwork together. Do you want there to be a limit on the second card?” He asks. “No. I want her card to have the same access as mine.” I tell him. “Mr. Edwards, in my experience, having a second card to your account is a little risky with the kind of funds you possess. May I suggest setting up a separate account for Miss Jones?” he asks. “I understand the risks and I want her on my account with her own card with the same access I have. No limits.” I tell him. “Yes sir.” He says and does exactly what I ask.

When he hands me the card, he says “I want you to know that I meant no disrespect before.” I smile and hold out my hand to shake and say “Your attention to the risks is why I only do business with you. I trust you because I know you will speak up to let me know all the risks. I respect you.” I tell him and he smiles before I walk away. I get into my car and my phone dings with a text.

I’m ready when you are

On my way baby

I smile and text back. I head to the mission and when I walk in, I see Lori standing there with two bags. “Everything okay?” I ask. “I was talking to Kathy about last night and I want to go ahead and move in. Permanently.” She says. “Are you sure you’re ready? You know I’ll wait as long as you need me to.” I tell her. “And that right there is why I’m ready.” She tells me before leaning up and kissing me softly. I grab her bags and lead her out to the car. I put her bags in the back seat and help her into the passenger seat and buckle her in. I move around to the driver’s side and drive us home.

Once we’re inside, I lead her to her bedroom, and she stops me. I look at her confused and she lets go of my hand and walks into our bedroom. I follow her in and ask, “Are you sure?” She nods her head yes and I say, “If sleeping next to me gets to be too much, we will keep the room next door, so you have somewhere to go.” I tell her. “That’s a good idea.” She says and I help her get her things unpacked. “I have a couple of things for you.” I tell her and she looks at me confused. “I knew you were getting me a phone.” She says. I take out the new phone and hand it to her and she loves it. “I had them put all your numbers that you wrote down from your burner for me and texted everyone to let them know this was your new number. I added Alice’s number too.” I tell her. “I have something else for you.” I tell her and she looks at me again and I hand her a card. “What’s this?” she asks. “This is a card to my account. There’s no limit. When you go back to work, we will go to my guy at the bank and set up an account for you to put the money in like we talked about, so you have that safety net, but this is the card I want you to use when you need or want something.” I tell her. “Logan, I can’t accept this.” She tells me. “Oh, but you can. I won’t take no for an answer.” I tell her. “Logan…” she starts but I cut her off with a kiss. “Please take it.” I say and she sighs and nods her agreement.

After we get her unpacked, we head out to the patio. She seems to like to look out at the garden. “How did your session go?” I ask. “It went well. I told Kathy about my nightmare last night and how you were there for me and so was Clyde. I told her about us spending the night together.” She tells me. “What did she tell you?” I ask. “That you don’t scare easily and that my feeling safe enough with you to sleep next to you, might have been the push I needed to take another step forward to being with you.” She tells me. “Is there anything you need?” I ask. “Just what you’re already doing. I don’t know how I got so lucky. You could have anyone you want.” She tells me. “But you’re the one that was made for me.” I whisper before kissing her softly.

“Can we walk in the garden?” she asks. “Of course.” I tell her and stand up. I hold out my hand and she places her hand in mine and I help her up. “Won’t be too long before I won’t be able to get up out of the chair.” She says and puts her free hand on her stomach. “I thought we could check out some doctors tomorrow and get some of the furniture for the nursery. And if you want, we can talk to your boss about you returning to work.” I tell her. “I’d like that.” She says before snuggling into my side and we walk around the garden together and I tell her about all the flowers that we have that bloom at different times of the year.

“What do you call this one?” she asks. “That’s a Magnolia.” I tell her and she looks at me with a smile. “Magnolia for a girl?” she asks. “Magnolia is perfect.” I tell her and she beams up at me. “How long has the garden been here?” she asks. “Right after I moved in and Alice came to work for me, she said the back would look great with a garden so I told her if she could find a landscaper and figure out how she wanted it, I’d pay for it.” I tell her and she stops. “You did that for someone just because she said it would look great?” she asks. “I did. I’ve never been one to not be good to anyone working for me. I came from nothing. I built myself up and I will never forget where I came from.” I tell her and she pulls me close and hugs me. “You’re an amazing man.” She tells me and my heart soars.

After walking in the garden and talking, we head inside and she says, “Is it okay if I go to my office and write?” I pull her close and kiss her softly and say “You never have to ask. Would you like me to bring you something to drink? A snack?” I ask. “Can I have some hot chocolate?” she asks. “Of course. Head on up and I’ll bring it to you.” I tell her and she lets me kiss her one more time before heading upstairs to her office.

I walk into the kitchen and Alice is already making her hot chocolate. “You heard that huh?” I ask. “I did. I’m proud of you son.” She tells me and I look down at my hands that are on the island. “I’m serious. You grew up with a hard life. That would make most people hard but you, you’ve been helping so many people at the mission just because they needed someone in their corner and now, with Lori. You’re doing everything you can to be what she needs.” She says. “I want to be what she needs. She’s so strong but she doesn’t think she is.” I tell her. “That’s because everyone in her life, up until you, kept knocking her down. Let me tell you something. When I was about her age, I was married.” She tells me and I look at her shocked. I didn’t know she was ever married. “We weren’t married long. He was abusive. I won’t go into detail because he's no longer an issue. After about six months of the abuse, he was killed in an accident at work. I had never been more grateful in my life. But it messed with me. I felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn’t more upset that my husband had been killed.” She tells me. “I think she feels that too. But I think it’s more, getting past the assault. I think she trusts that I won’t hurt her, but she’s never really been shown love. How do I help her?” I ask. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep showing her that everything that happens is her choice. Keep being affectionate and showing her that she’s important to you.” She tells me as she puts the cup in front of me and sprinkles marshmallows on top for her. I kiss her cheek and head upstairs to my woman’s office.

I lightly knock on the office door, and she says “Come in.” I open the door and walk over to her desk and put the hot chocolate on the desk and kiss her temple. “Is there anything else you need honey?” I ask. “No, but you said that we would go look at doctors tomorrow and talk to my boss?” she asks. “I did and if you’re up for it, we can get some of the furniture for the nursery.” I tell her. “Can we also look for some comfortable furniture for that corner over there, so I have more than one place in here to write?” she asks. “Of course, sweetheart. Anything you want.” I tell her. I kiss her one more time before leaving her to write.

I head to my office to get some work done. I’ve been working for a while, and I hear a knock on the office door. “Come in.” I say. I look up as the door opens and see Lori standing there, looking shy. “Come here.” I tell her and push back from my desk. She walks over to me, behind my desk and I pull her into my lap. “What’s on your mind baby?” I ask. She lays her head on my shoulder, and I hold her closer. “Talk to me baby.” I say. “You told me you love me.” She whispers. “I did. And I do. But I know you’re not there yet. And that’s fine.” I tell her. “What if I’m not able to love you back?” she asks. “What do you mean?” I ask. “Mom died when I was little. Dad didn’t love me, and I know Jake didn’t. No one had ever even been affectionate with me until you. I mean, Donna would hug me but that’s it. The only person that ever told me they loved me was my mom.” She tells me. “Look at me honey.” I tell her and she looks up at me. “You are capable of being loved and of loving someone. You had a s**t childhood but you’re not there anymore. I love you. Alice loves you. Clyde loves you. Our baby will love you. I know you will love our baby and one day I hope you will love me. Just don’t stress about it.” I tell her. “But what if you get tired of waiting?” she whispers. I cup her face with one hand while the other is wrapped around her, holding her close. “Listen to me. There’s nothing you can say or do that will make me walk away from you or our baby. I won’t get tired of waiting. You have no clue just how patient of a man I can be.” I tell her. “But I know you have needs…” she starts, and I cut her off by placing my finger over her lips. “I do have needs but honey you are worth the wait. I’ve not been with anyone in over three years.” I tell her. “Why not?” she asks me, shocked. “I was never one to get around to begin with but after my late wife died, I just wasn’t interested in anyone and didn’t want to be with anyone if it wasn’t going to be something long term.” I tell her. She kisses me softly and says, “I promise I’m trying.” I smile and say, “I know.”

She goes to stand, and I ask, “Where are you going?” She looks at my desk and says, “I’m going to let you get back to work.” I take her hand and say “What I’m working on isn’t something time sensitive. Do you want to see it?” I ask and she nods her head yes. I pull her back to my lap, and she sits down and starts looking at the papers on the desk. “What’s this?” she asks, picking up one of the pages. “This, sweetheart, is a project I’ve been working on. I’ve been helping at the mission since the doors opened but thought about bringing in some other lawyers to help since the mission has gotten so big.” I tell her. She looks at some of the other pages and asks “So, are you changing your practice?” she asks. “Not completely. When most lawyers graduate from law school, they usually move on to the public defender’s office and then if they are lucky, they move on to the District Attorney’s office or to another practice. I was thinking about, since most of these cases are pretty cut and dry, I would bring in some newer lawyers to help them gain experience and it would help towards their pro bono requirements.” I tell her. “So, you’re still going to be handling custody cases like you’ve been doing?” she asks. “Yes. But having more people helping at the office and the mission, will help me free up time for doctor’s appointments for you and the baby and to spend time with you and the baby when they get here.” I tell her and she looks back at the papers. “What if…” she starts and stops. “What if, what baby?” She picks up a page that has some information on counseling services to partner with. “Never mind.” She says and goes to stand. I take her hand again and stop her. “No, what is it?” I ask. “Something I’ve been thinking about. I write my poetry because it helps me clear my mind. But, when I graduated high school, I graduated with honors. Of course, I didn’t tell my dad, and I didn’t walk with my classmates, but I always wanted to go to college.” She tells me. “Is that what you want to do?” I ask. “That would be too much.” She says. “Too much how?” I ask. “With work and the baby, going to school would be too much and I couldn’t handle the crowds anyway.” She says. “What about this? I know you want a safety net. One of the things we will do tomorrow is set you up a separate account. I will put one hundred grand in it for a safety net. The account will only be in your name, and I won’t have access to it. No one will but you.” I tell her. “Logan…” she starts but I stop her. “I’m setting it up no matter what. So, instead of going back to work since you would have to take leave when you have the baby. You can do online classes and still be home with the baby.” I tell her. “I can do that?” she asks. “You can do anything you want. All you have to do is tell me what you want. We have the money. Are you wanting to study Psychology?” I ask and she nods. “Then we will figure out what we need to do to get you enrolled.” I tell her. “Thank you, Logan.” She says before kissing me softly. “You don’t have to thank me. We are in this together.” I tell her and she snuggles closer to me.