Whiskey In The Water

Chapter 7-Lori

Chapter 7

Lori

Well, I did it. I told Logan I wanted to go to college and study Psychology. I was waiting for him to tell me it was a stupid idea and that I wasn’t smart enough to go to college. I guess I should have expected him to be supportive. He’s been nothing but supportive since I met him. It’s been strange. All I hear from him are positive things and I want to believe him, but I still hear my dad and Jake in my head. I keep hearing how I’m worthless and stupid and how no one will ever love me. But he’s told me he does, more than once.

I’m up and getting dressed. We’re heading out to see doctors today to find me an OBGYN. I walk down the stairs to see Logan in the kitchen, talking to Alice. When I walk in, I expect for them to stop talking but Alice looks at me and says, “I hear you’re going to look at enrolling into college.” I nod and she pulls me in for a hug and says “I’m proud of you sweetheart. This is a huge step. But you’ve got this.” She tells me and I smile softly but it isn’t like my normal smile. She looks at Logan and then back to me. “Do you need a session before you meet with the doctors?” she asks, and I nod my head. I have my phone and Logan says, “I can text Kathy if you want.” I shake my head and say “I can text her. I need to start doing some things on my own. That’s okay right?” I ask, still not sure. “Of course. Honey, we know you’re more than capable of doing things for yourself. I don’t want you to ever think that we think you can’t. But I just want to take care of you. But all you have to do is tell me that you want to handle it but don’t hesitate to tell me if you need me to take over.” He tells me and I nod and say, “Thank you.” He nods before I take my phone out of my back pocket and send a text to Kathy, and she texts back immediately telling me that she can see me as soon as I get there.

I sit at the island beside Logan and start on my breakfast. “Do you have some doctors in mind to check out?” I ask. “Not right off hand. I was going to make some calls and get in with a few in town but since you’re going to be seeing Kathy after breakfast, I can talk to Susan and see who she suggests. I know you trust her. Is that okay?” he asks. “That would be great.” I say.

After breakfast, we head to the mission, and he kisses me softly before I follow Kathy to her office. “What’s on your mind?” she asks. “Logan told me he loves me.” I tell her. “How are you handling that?” she asks. “I don’t know. I mean, I like Logan a lot and he’s told me that he knows I’m not there yet and that he will wait as long as it takes, and he hopes that I will love him back someday, but he would be there until I did.” I tell her. “That’s a good thing.” She tells me. “It is. But I’m struggling with it a little bit.” I tell her. “Tell me how you’re struggling.” She says. “I keep hearing my dad and Jake telling me how worthless I am and how no one will love me.” I tell her. “Have you told Logan this?” she asks. “I did. I also told him that I didn’t even know if I was capable of loving someone.” I tell her. “So, you’re making sure to communicate with him?” she asks. “Yes. We decided we didn’t want any secrets and he doesn’t judge me when I say what’s on my mind. Even his housekeeper, Alice has been supportive.” I tell her. “But something else is bothering you.” She says, rather than asks. “Yes. The only person who’s ever told me that they loved me was my mom, but she died when I was little, so I don’t remember it much. Obviously, my dad and Jake didn’t love me. But Logan told me that I am capable of being loved and giving love. He said that I just needed someone to show me what positive love is.” I tell her. “He’s right. The way a person grows up has a huge impact on the type of person that they become. You grew up being exposed to negative interactions. A person that grows up like that can go one of two ways. One, they can become exactly what they were raised by. Or two, they become the exact opposite. I believe you have become the second one. But being raised like you were makes it hard to trust someone. But trusting someone is more than trusting they will keep you safe. You have to trust them, mind, body, heart, and soul and that’s hard for anyone to do no matter how they were raised.” She tells me. “I trust him. I moved in with him but I’m not in the guest room. We’re sharing a room.” I tell her. “That’s a big step. But what are you going to do when you have setbacks? Remember what I told you. Setbacks will happen but it doesn't mean you can’t still get better.” She states. “He’s keeping the guest room ready for me. He told me that if it gets to be too much that I can go back to the guest room any time I need to and that he would give me my space. But I think if that happens, I might take his dog with me so that I’m not completely alone.” I tell her. “That’s a good plan. So, what’s next?” she asks.

“I told him that I wanted to go to college after high school and that I graduated with honors but that I knew that wasn’t an option for me. But he’s making it an option. He told me I could do online classes, and he would help me get enrolled.” I tell her. “What are you wanting to study?” she asks. “Psychology. You’ve been helping me so much and there are so many other people going through what I went through, and I’d like to eventually help them the way you helped me.” I tell her. “That’s amazing. It will help you get a better understanding of how to handle your trauma and it will help you better help your clients.” She tells me. We go on talking and I feel a lot better after talking to her.

After talking to Kathy, I’m feeling better and getting a better understanding of my trauma. I walk into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and turn to see one of the other girls sitting there, staring at her coffee cup. “Are you okay?” I ask. She shakes her head no. “Can I sit?” I ask and she barely nods but I see it. I take the seat next to her. “My name is Lori.” I tell her and wait for her to speak. “Mary.” She tells me. “It’s nice to meet you, Mary. Have you been here long?” I ask and she shakes her head no. “I just moved out of here. You’re safe here.” I tell her and she looks up but doesn’t look me in the eye. “Why?” she asks. “Why was I here?” I ask and she nods her head yes. “I was living with my father, and he was beating me. He had his best friend living with us and he was hurting me too.” I tell her. “I ran away from home.” She says softly. “How old are you sweetheart?” I ask. “Seventeen.” She tells me. “I’m eighteen and I’m pregnant.” I tell her and she finally looks at me. “My father’s best friend.” I tell her and she glances at my stomach and then back to her cup. “My mom is an addict and was letting her dealer use me for payment.” She tells me. “Did you consent?” I ask and she shakes her head no. “Have you had a pregnancy test done?” I ask and she nods and says “Negative.”

I release the breath I was holding. Have you spoke to a lawyer yet?” I ask. “No money.” She tells me. “The mission pays for it. If you’re okay with it, my boyfriend is here and he’s a lawyer.” I say and she asks, “Will you be there?” I take a chance and place my hand on hers and say, “I won’t leave your side.” She looks at me and asks “You said he’s your boyfriend? But he’s not the baby’s father?” I nod and say “When I first came here, he knew I was pregnant, and he was helping me to make sure that the father didn’t try to take the baby from me and he said he wanted a relationship with me and my baby. I’m still seeing Kathy for sessions every couple of days but he’s being patient with me.” I tell her and she nods her understanding. “Let me get him and we’ll move to one of the meeting rooms and talk.” I tell her and she nods.

I walk out to the lobby and see Logan standing there. “Hey honey. You ready?” he asks. “Um…not yet.” I tell him and he looks at me concerned. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “I’m okay but there’s a girl here, Mary. She’s seventeen and ran away from her mom. She could use your help. She told me what happened, and I asked if she would let me get you to help her. Is that okay?” I ask. He kisses me softly and says “Of course. Take her to one of the meeting rooms. I’ll get what I need to take notes.” He tells me and I head to the kitchen to get Mary.

I lead Mary to the meeting room and Logan is in there waiting for us. When we walk into the room, Logan stands and says “Hello Mary. I’m Logan Edwards. Let’s have a seat and talk.” She nods and takes a seat and when Logan goes to pull out the seat for me that’s beside him, Mary looks at me scared and I tell Logan “I told Mary I would be beside her through this.” He smiles and says “Understood.” We all sit down, and Mary is worrying her fingers together and I reach over and take one of her hands and she squeezes my hand slightly in thanks. “Lori has told me a little bit of what’s going on, but I need to hear it from you.” He tells her.

“I don’t have the money to pay you, but Lori said the mission would take care of that.” She tells him. “You don’t have to worry about anything. Now, I’m going to fill you in on how this is going to work and then we’ll get started.” He tells her and she nods. “I’m going to ask you some questions. If there are any questions you are not comfortable answering, you can write the answer on this notepad. We will take this at your pace and as hard as this might be for you, I am on your side.” He tells her and she looks at me. I nod, telling her she can trust him, and she nods at him.

“Can you tell me your name and age?” Logan asks. “Mary Carter and I’m seventeen.” She says. “Lori said you ran away from home. Can you tell me why?” he asks. “My mom is an addict and was letting her dealer use me for payment, but it wasn’t consensual.” She tells him and he sees her looking down at our hands. “Mary, the first thing you need to know is that none of this is your fault and I will do everything I can to make sure you never have to deal with that again.” He tells her and I look at him and smile.

“Tell me about your parents.” He says. “My dad’s name was Kevin Carter. He died when I was a baby. My mom is Lana Carter, and I don’t remember a time where she wasn’t using.” She tells him. “What drug?” he asks. “Meth.” She tells him. “Do you have any family that you know of?” he asks, and she shakes her head no. “Okay, so here’s what we can do. I can file a restraining order against your mom and get the paperwork going to get you emancipated. I have a judge that owes me a favor and I think I can get us in to see him pretty fast. But you will have to be there for him to ask you questions but he will want your mom there too.” He tells her and she stiffens and shakes her head. “Given the situation, I might can have him let you stay in his chambers to ask the questions so that you don’t have to see your mother.” He tells her. “Will I be able to be there with her?” I ask and Logan says “I will make sure of it. We can have Izzy there too for support.” He says and Mary looks at me and says, “Izzy was the one that found me.” I smile and say, “And she’s an amazing support.”

He asks a few more questions and says “We have an appointment to go to but as soon as that’s done, I will get the paperwork rolling on the restraining order and the emancipation. But until you hear from me again, I would rather you not leave the mission so that we know you are safe and that your mom doesn’t find you.” He tells her and she nods. I look at her and ask, “How often are you having sessions with Kathy?” She shakes her head no, telling us that she’s not. “I think you should talk to her. Is that okay?” I ask and she nods her head yes. Logan takes out his phone and texts Kathy to come to the meeting room. When she comes in, I introduce her to Mary and ask if she can have a session and let them work out how often she needs to be seeing Kathy.

We walk out to the car and before Logan opens the door, he stops me. Kissing me softly he says, “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met.” I look at him shyly before looking down at my hands on his chest.

“You were great with her. Being able to relate to her and make her comfortable enough to let me talk to her to help her. That’s amazing honey.” He says and pulls me close. “I love you.” He whispers before kissing the top of my head. He helps me into the car and buckles me in before kissing me one more time. He gets into the car, and we head out to the doctor’s office.

“This doctor is the one that Susan said was the best. Her name is Shannon Moore.” He tells me. “Are they going to work us in?” I ask. “No. Susan called in a favor to get us an appointment.” He tells me and I smile softly. “Are you sure about this, Logan? I mean, you don’t have to claim my baby.” I tell him, some of my insecurities are coming in. He pulls into the parking spot and turns to me and says “You and the baby are both mine. I am completely sure about claiming both of you. Like I said before, when you’re ready, I’m going to make you my wife and our baby will only ever know two parents who love them. They will never go through what we did. They will never have to grow up the way we did. You have my word baby. I love you and I’ve only ever said those words to two other people. My late wife and Alice.” He tells me. I cup his face and say, “I know I’m going to have setbacks, but I promise I’m trying.” I tell him. “I know baby and we will get there. Now, come on. I want to see our baby.” He tells me and I start to laugh.

He gets out of the car and heads to my side of the car. He opens my door, and I take his offered hand and he helps me out of the car. We head inside and walk up to the receptionist’s desk. The receptionist looks at Logan and smiles and I see her sit up a little straighter. “What can I do for you?” she asks, sweetly. “We have an appointment with Dr Moore.” He says and she finally looks at me. “Patient’s name?” she asks. “Lori Jones.” He tells her and she looks in her computer. “She looks at me and says, “We need you to fill out these forms while you wait for your name to be called but I need your ID and insurance card.” I take the forms but say “I don’t have insurance.” She sighs, annoyed and says, “Then we will need to get you with our billing department to make arrangements for payments.” Logan goes to take out his credit card, but I step in front of him and hand her the one he gave me. “I didn’t say I couldn’t pay. I just said I don’t have insurance.” I tell her and she takes the card and looks at the name before looking at me. “I will put this on file. Is this the card you want to use for all appointments?” she asks and before I can answer, Logan says “Yes, it is.” She enters the information and then hands me the card back.

We sit in a couple of the chairs, and I start filling everything out and when it comes to the emergency contacts, I fill out his information and when it asks for his relationship to me, I stop. I look at him for a minute and then the form again. I write down the word fiancé and when he sees it, he stops my hand. I look at him and he cuts his eyes to the word and then to me and raises a brow. “You said you wanted to marry me and you’re claiming me and my baby. I told you I would get there.” I say before I go back to the form and put Alice and Izzy as contacts as well. When I’m done with the form, Logan walks the forms back to the receptionist and she smiles up at him. She watches him walk back to his seat next to me, and then she looks at the form and when she sees the word fiancé, her shoulders slump. He looks at me and sees me watching her and sees her slumped over now, he smirks at me. Leaning over to me he whispers, “And I thought I was the one doing the claiming.” I look at him and say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He softly laughs and tilts my chin up to give me a soft kiss. “I love you honey.” He whispers. I smile softly and say, “I know.”

We hear my name being called. Logan stands and holds out his hand for me. I’ve noticed that he loves to touch me and help me. He’s such a gentleman. He leads me to follow the nurse with his hand on the small of my back and she leads us to a sort of triage area. She gets my weight, height, and vitals. She has me give a urine sample and leads us to an exam room. Once inside the room, Logan helps me up onto the exam table and the nurse comes in. “Hello Lori. My name is Cara and I’m going to be your nurse today. The doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes but before she gets here, we need you to strip from the waist down and put one of these paper gowns on. When she comes in, she’s going to measure your stomach and do a pelvic exam before she sends you to get an ultrasound done. Are you okay with that?” she asks, and I nod. “We work with the mission and Susan explained that you might be more comfortable if we tell you what to expect beforehand. I’m the same way. I’m not big on surprises.” She tells me and I smile softly. “I’m getting better but still have some issues.” I tell her. “Well, Dr Moore is amazing. Please don’t hesitate to tell her what you need. If you’re not comfortable with something, let her know. We got you.” She tells me and I smile before looking at Logan and he’s smiling. “I’ll step out and let you get changed.” She tells me before stepping out of the room.

I look down at the paper gown and Logan asks. “Do you want me to wait outside?” I look at him for a minute and say, “No. Just, can you turn around?” I ask and he walks over to me and kisses me softly before helping me down. He turns with his back to me, and I take off my shoes, socks, pants and underwear before putting on the paper gown and holding it closed in the back. “I’m done.” I tell him. He walks over to me and helps me back up onto the table and takes a seat in the chair he was previously in. “How are you doing honey?” He asks. “I’m okay. Kind of excited to see the baby.” I tell him and he smiles wide. “Me too.” He tells me.

A few minutes later, we hear a knock on the door. “Come in.” I say and a woman walks in with a doctor’s coat on and smiles at me. “Hello Lori. I’m Dr Moore.” She says. “Hi Dr Moore.” I say softly. She looks over at Logan and says, “You must be Dad.” She holds her hand out to shake and he says “I am. Logan Edwards. Lori’s fiancé.” And he looks at me and winks. “Wonderful. Now, let’s get this appointment started. Let’s get some measurements first.” She tells me and takes a measuring tape out of her pocket. She measures my stomach that is barely starting to show and then she says “This next part is going to be a little uncomfortable. I want you to know ahead of time, but I am going to do what I need to do as fast as possible, so you won’t have to be uncomfortable for any longer than you have to.” She tells me and I nod my understanding. “I will be doing a pelvic exam. I know Susan did one when you first came to her, but we need this one just for your records for our office. Once I do this one, we won’t have to worry about doing another unless there are complications but according to what Susan told me, that shouldn’t be a problem.” She tells me and I nod again.

“Dad, if you want to help Mom lay back.” She says and Logan moves up to stand beside me and helps me to lay back. Dr Moore sits on the stool at the end of the table and says, “I need you to scoot towards me just a little more.” I move like she asks, and she says “Now, you’re going to feel a little pressure, but I will make this quick.” I feel her put the speculum inside of me and Logan is holding my hand. I squeeze his hand and feel the pressure as she spreads me open, and I wince a little. Logan puts his forehead to mine and whispers “You are a warrior honey. It will be over soon. Just hold on a little longer.” I have my eyes squeezed tight and then I feel the pressure leave and she says, “All done.” She stands and moves the stool over to the other side of the room and she pulls the gown down between my legs to preserve my modesty.

Logan helps me sit up and he’s still by my side, holding me. “Go ahead and get dressed and the nurse will take you for the ultrasound. So far everything looks great, though.” She tells me and I nod. She leaves the room, and Logan moves in front of me. “Are you okay?” he asks. I nod and say “I think so. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” I tell him and he moves and helps me down. Turning around, he has his back to me, and I pull on my clothes really fast and tell him I’m dressed. About that time, we hear another knock on the door. “Come in.” I say again. The same nurse from before, Cara, comes in and says, “Let’s head down and see your little bean.” I look at Logan and he smiles before we follow her down the hall to another room.

Once inside the ultrasound room, Logan helps me up on that table like he did before, and the ultrasound tech tells me “I need you to raise your shirt and lower your pants to the bottom of your stomach.” I wore my leggings to make them easier to take on and off. I lower the waistband of the leggings and raise my shirt. She puts the warmed gel on my stomach and then puts the wand against my stomach and starts moving it around. All of a sudden, we hear whomp whomp whomp. I look at Logan and he’s smiling wide. “The baby’s heartbeat is good and strong. That’s what we want to hear.” She tells us before moving the wand a little more. She takes a few more measurements and then turns the screen towards us. “This little bean here is your baby. You’re measuring about eleven weeks along. We should be able to tell the gender at twenty weeks.” She tells us and goes on to clicking on a few more things on the screen. We hear a printer going and she reaches over to get the ultrasound pictures and hands them to me. I look at them and so does Logan. “That’s our baby.” He whispers. “It is. Holy crap. Logan.” I say and he kisses me softly and says, “I love you mama.” I look at him and say, “I’m yours daddy.” And he smiles wide.

We head into the kitchen, and she starts making us a snack. “You’ll be proud of our girl here.” Logan says to Alice and I look at him and then look down shyly. “I’m already proud of her.” She says and I look up at her and see so much pride in her eyes. “There was a girl at the mission that just got there. Runaway. She’s been through a lot but Lori here, got her talking and we talked to her about what needs to be done to help her.” He says. “Speaking of. I need to head to my office for a bit to get the ball rolling for her.” He tells me. “I can call Izzy about helping too.” I tell him. “That would be great baby. Do you want to do it from my office? Help me get things set up for her?” he asks, and I nod my head yes. He leads me to his office, and we start making phone calls and getting things set up to help Mary.