wounds of silk

3. Eeva

When the morning rushed in a blur, Eeva felt groggy and disoriented. Limbs ached, coiling on the couch the whole night. Her back hurt. Spine protested when she tried to rise to her feet. Eeva must have fallen asleep sometime in the early hours of the dawn.

Eeva quickly showered and dressed in a pale pink blouse with a ruffle neck and a pair of jeans. She slipped out of the room before her husband woke up. She didn’t want to face her husband not knowing what to expect from him after his last night’s violent coercion.

Eeva scurried down the stairs, her mind boggling at the stark reality of her life she was thrust into. She stumbled, missed her footing on her next step. Her body flew forward, almost tripping down the flight of stairs. Her heart leapt in panic as she scrambled to grab onto any nearby solid object to find her footing. Her palm curled around the railing to steady her and prevent her fall.

A sharp pain radiating in her ankle and Eeva realised she had jabbed her foot at the bannister and hurt herself.

Damn!

Eeva climbed down the rest of the stairs in her wobbly steps and trudged straight into the kitchen, knowing quite well she didn’t have to face her father. She hardly ever saw her father meandering in the western wing of their house. He prefered to take his meals besides dinner in his office on the entire opposite side of the house.

As she sauntered into the kitchen, the maids were cooking up a storm, preparing several dishes for breakfast as if they were going to feed the entire guest list of her wedding, not just her family and her husband.

Eeva staggered to her feet, moving stiffly over to the stool to sit down but her awkward movements didn’t go unnoticed to the several pairs of eyes present in the kitchen.

A young maid, almost her age or a few years older, brought her a cup of coffee, blushing the whole time. After the maid turned away and busied herself with her tasks, she kept sneaking glances at Eeva and stifled a laugh.

Eeva didn’t know what piqued the maid’s curiosity but when the head maid whispered something in the girl’s ear, the young maid nodded, turned away and disappeared behind the storage room.

Eeva didn’t bother to rack her brains further when the rich aroma of hot coffee shook away fatigue from her bones and gave her energy to endure the day. She helped herself, stuffing freshly-baked cookies into her mouth from the rack, put on the counter to cool off.

Her mother walked into the kitchen along with her sister, Meira, trailing a few steps behind her mother. Her mother went rigid and parted her mouth in a shocked ‘O’. Eyes bulged out in shock, making her already big eyes round and huge.

Her mouth couldn’t believe her eyes. She didn’t expect to see Eeva, gobbling up her cookies and swallowing a mouthful of coffee to wash the crumbs down her throat.

Her mother blinked a few times, then her eyes roaming the length of the kitchen as if any second Eeva’s husband would pop up out of nowhere. When her mother didn’t find him, her eyes narrowed at Eeva as she asked in a terse voice, “Where is Mr Romanov?”

Eeva shrugged her shoulder, paying no attention to the seriousness in her mother’s tone, “Upstairs. Sleeping. Snoring like a pig when I left the room.”

Her mother gasped and looked horrified as if Eeva had just killed her own husband at her wedding night. Eeva didn’t bother to look up as she drizzled more chocolate syrup over her cookies in squiggly tails, “You should have waited for your husband to come down for breakfast before you started shoving food into your mouth. That’s not how a proper woman should behave.”

Her lack of response annoyed her mother, “And for god’s sake stop squeezing that bottle. You don’t want to have cavities in your mouth. Now, go upstairs, be a good wife and bring your husband for breakfast.”

All the hunger growling in her stomach had blinked away, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth at mentioning her husband.

“Why would I do that?” When all I want to do is to stay away from him, Eeva muttered to herself. “When he feels hungry, he can come downstairs. He doesn’t need an invitation.”

“Eeva,” Her mother scolded.

“Mamma, let her finish the cookies. She barely eats anything yesterday. She must be hungry.” Eeva eyed her sister but Meira had already averted her eyes, avoiding her sister’s gaze. Eeva could tell why she was ignoring her from the day her marriage was fixed. Probably, out of guilt. But Eeva didn’t blame her sister for her doomed fate. She could only hope it would be better if she had clarified that to her Meira and put her mind to rest.

The last two weeks had been miserable. Eeva had argued, begged, and finally accepted that there was no way out of the marriage. She mostly kept her thoughts to herself, cooped up in her room when her presence was not demanded and stopped initiating a conversation unless she was asked to. And her sister, Meira, gave her the space she needed, keeping a safe distance from her.

“No. Your sister needs to learn these things and behave which is socially acceptable.” Her mother turned to Meira and continued, “With you, I have had years to groom you and make you presentable.”

Her mother sighed. “I thought once you get married, I will worry about Eeva. Try to keep her in line. But everything happened so fast and unexpectedly.”

Her mother grabbed the nearest chair and settled down as if the realisation was too much to bear. “She is married and still, she is acting like a child.”

Eeva didn't want to have another disagreement with her mother when she was already drowning in her own emotions and minutes away leaving her old life behind. Eeva rose from the stool, limped as she moved out of the kitchen to make her way up the stairs.

Eeva froze and stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed her husband descending the stairs. He freshened up and clad in a fresh pair of ironed shirt and slacks. He strode towards her, never taking his eyes off her with an amused smirk tickling at the edges of his lips. When her husband came closer, he bended over and whispered in her ear, “You are a pretty slippery thing? Aren’t you, Eeva? I must admit I was disappointed when I woke up and find out you weren’t there in the room. Missed another chance to f**k my little bride.”

Eeva didn’t dare to utter a snarky response, she gulped down in fear and glanced away, “Don’t look so sad, now. We will have plenty of time tonight, I will make sure of that.” Her husband let ot a baleful laugh without a shred of emotion, “I can’t wait to hear your moans and f**k you hard on my bed at your new home.”

The colours drained out of her flushed cheeks. Eeva looked pale as if she would faint any minute now, “And love your little act.” Her husband motioned towards her feet, “No one would suspect a thing. You spared me from making a fool of myself, not f*****g my beautiful virgin bride on our wedding night and got totally hammered.” He chuckled, leaving me alone with my miseries.

Her husband joined her father who at some point had come out of his office and was waiting for him at the table. They easily engaged in some deep conversations regarding business and money.

When Eeva walked into the dining room, Meira rushed at her side and clutched her hands in hers and asked in a single breath “Are you alright, Eeva?”

Eeva nodded without giving a solid response because she had nothing to say and she didn’t want to drag down her sister in her own mess. She knew last night she just got lucky and the same episode wouldn’t occur again. But spitting her dread over her face didn’t give her any comfort.

Her father’s eyes cut through her across the room with a silent command to sit and behave. She pulled a chair opposite of her husband when with a flick of his fingers, her husband motioned her to sit down beside him on the unoccupied chair.

Her hunger died down and panic bubbling in her stomach, she nibbled on a slice of an apple, trying to distract herself from the ongoing conversation rolling around her. But her husband didn’t miss a thing when he spoke out, “You are too skinny for my taste. A few extra pounds will fill your curves and make you look more attractive. Now, all you got is a pretty face and golden hair.”

Eeva felt humiliated. She gripped the fork tightly in her palm, letting the edges dug into her skin. She wanted to hurl her words at him and demand answers.

Why did he even marry her if she wasn’t worthy of the Romanov name?

Eeva kept her lips glued against each other, for once she was glad she didn’t hold his interest and it gave her a little relief. But her father’s glare assured her that as if her husband didn’t insult her but him. He blamed her for it as if it was her fault.

Her mother uninvitedly came to her rescue as if she needed rescuing, “Wedding jitters. And how the brides these days get obsessed over their weddings to shed more pounds and fit into their ideal gowns.” Her husband didn’t appreciate her interposing and didn’t even bother to hide his scowl. Her mother smiled apologetically and held her tongue for the rest of the meal.

“I don’t have the patience to look after her and feed her like a child. Eeva is a grown woman. She needs to take care of herself and try to make her desirable.” His face twisted in displeasure, cold and emotionless. Her parents didn’t make a noise, calm and poised, making a statement of who was the most important person in the room and held powers over their heads.

The disturbing question that rose in Eeva’s mind was, who was he, exactly?

After breakfast, when it was time to announce our departure, they all walked to the front door. Eeva and Meira stayed a few steps behind and before they reached the threshold, Meira engulfed in a crushing hug and whispered softly, “I’m sorry.”

Before Eeva could react and hug her back, she was already out of her reach and mounted the stairs in an utmost hurry.

A hint of sadness glittered in her mother’s eyes as she uttered, “Stay strong. Listen to your husband and be an obedient wife.” Up close, Eeva could point out the stressed lines around her mother’s eyes and assurance her mother offered in their adjoined hands.

Her father didn’t make a great deal about her leaving her home permanently. “Don’t humiliate your family. Make me proud.”

Her husband reached the thread of his patience, he put his arm around her waist and tugged her along with him towards the waiting car parked at the entrance.

Away from her family.

Away from her childhood home.

Away from her innocence.