MINE ALONE

Chapter 36:Adrain

Three months.

Three months since Jude had stood in our living room with tears streaming down his face and whispered the words that had changed my entire world.

“I’m pregnant.”

I used to think the hardest part would be waiting.

I had been wrong.

The hardest part…

Was watching the person I loved suffer and knowing there was very little I could do to stop it.

⸻

The first month had been brutal.

Morning sickness was a ridiculous name for it.

It wasn’t just the morning.

It was breakfast.

Lunch.

Dinner.

Midnight.

Two in the afternoon.

Four in the morning.

Whenever it decided to appear.

Poor Jude couldn’t keep anything down.

I’d spend an hour convincing him to eat half a bowl of soup.

Five minutes later…

I’d hear him rushing to the bathroom.

Every single time, my heart broke a little.

“I hate this,” he’d whisper one evening after another exhausting day.

I knelt beside him on the bathroom floor, gently holding his hair back.

“I know.”

“I finally wanted mashed potatoes.”

“I know.”

“And now I don’t ever want to see another potato again.”

Despite everything, I laughed quietly.

“I’ll let the chef know potatoes have been officially banned.”

That earned me the smallest smile.

It was enough.

⸻

I became impossible.

Even by my own standards.

One nutritionist became two.

Then three.

A private chef.

A prenatal physiotherapist.

A specialist midwife.

A housekeeper assigned only to make sure Jude never had to climb the stairs carrying anything heavy.

Looking back…

It was excessive.

Jude certainly thought so.

One afternoon he walked into the sitting room, looked around at the collection of professionals discussing meal plans, and folded his arms.

“Adrian.”

“Hm?”

“Why are there so many people in my house?”

“They’re helping.”

“I counted twelve.”

“I don’t think it was twelve.”

“It was twelve.”

“…It might have been twelve.”

He looked at me with the patient expression he reserved for moments when I was being particularly unreasonable.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“But if one more stranger asks me whether I’ve eaten enough spinach today…”

He pointed towards the front door.

“…I’m moving into the guest house.”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“So…”

“So.”

“I may have overdone it.”

“You think?”

By the end of the day, I’d thanked most of the extra staff and reduced everything to a much smaller, more practical team.

Jude sighed dramatically as the last car pulled away.

“I can hear my own thoughts again.”

I wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Happy?”

He leaned against me.

“Very.”

⸻

As difficult as those first weeks were…

There was one unexpected side effect that I absolutely adored.

Jude became impossibly attached to me.

Not in an unhealthy way.

Just…

Constantly.

Wonderfully.

Endearingly.

Attached.

My phone never stopped buzzing.

Jude: Where are you?

Board meeting.

Two minutes later…

Jude: How much longer?

An hour.

Thirty seconds later…

That’s too long.

I smiled so often at my phone that my assistant eventually asked,

“Good news?”

“The best.”

⸻

Sometimes I’d receive another message.

Can I come see you?

I always answered the same way.

Always.

⸻

It became almost routine.

Halfway through an important meeting, my assistant would quietly knock.

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“Dr Jude is here.”

The entire board would already be smiling.

One executive even joked,

“Should we just give him his own office at this point?”

Honestly…

It wasn’t the worst idea.

⸻

Jude would wander in wearing comfortable clothes, one hand resting absentmindedly on his growing bump.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“You absolutely are.”

“Oh.”

He’d look genuinely apologetic.

I would immediately stand up.

“It’s the best interruption I’ve had all day.”

He’d smile with obvious relief.

“I missed you.”

“You saw me this morning.”

“I know.”

“I still missed you.”

How was I supposed to resist that?

I wasn’t.

Not even a little.

⸻

Sometimes he didn’t even need anything.

He’d simply curl up on the sofa in my office with a blanket.

“I’m just going to rest.”

“Go ahead.”

Ten minutes later…

He’d already be asleep.

I’d glance over between emails.

There he’d be.

Peacefully sleeping.

Completely trusting that I was nearby.

There were days I wondered whether he was actually working anymore.

One afternoon, after finding him asleep in my office for the third time that week, I smiled and brushed a strand of hair from his face.

“Do they know you’re here?”

Without opening his eyes, he mumbled,

“…Probably.”

“Probably?”

“They’ll call if they need me.”

“You sound very confident.”

“They’re capable.”

“You are impossible.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Then he reached blindly for my hand.

Even half asleep.

He still wanted to be touching me.

Something inside me melted every single time.

⸻

His cravings changed almost weekly.

One week it was strawberries.

The next…

Fresh oranges.

Then suddenly it was warm bread with honey at eleven o’clock at night.

One evening he looked at me with enormous hopeful eyes.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t.”

“I really want mangoes.”

“It’s raining.”

“I know.”

“It’s nearly midnight.”

“I know.”

“And I think I’ll cry if I don’t have one.”

I didn’t even bother pretending to hesitate.

Twenty-five minutes later, I returned home carrying a bag full of mangoes.

Jude met me at the front door.

“You actually went.”

“Of course I did.”

He hugged me so tightly I almost dropped the shopping bag.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“No.”

He looked up at me.

“I really love you.”

I kissed his forehead.

“I really love you too.”

⸻

One evening, after he’d fallen asleep with his head resting against my shoulder, I realised something.

Months ago…

I’d been terrified.

Terrified that a baby would somehow take Jude away from me.

Now?

The exact opposite had happened.

Pregnancy hadn’t pushed us apart.

If anything…

It had drawn him closer.

He reached for me without thinking.

Called my name before anyone else’s.

Fell asleep holding my hand.

Searched every room until he found me.

He simply wanted me near.

Always.

I smiled to myself.

“So this…”

I whispered, careful not to wake him.

“…is what I was so afraid of.”

I had imagined losing him.

Instead…

He had somehow found even more ways to love me.

I rested my cheek gently against his hair.

Our little one was growing.

Our lives were changing.

The journey hadn’t been easy.

There had been sickness.

Exhaustion.

Worry.

More tears than either of us expected.

But there had also been laughter.

Late-night mango hunts.

Unexpected naps on my office sofa.

Countless phone calls that ended with,

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

And every single one of those moments reminded me of something I wished I had understood years ago.

Love doesn’t become smaller when a family grows.

It simply finds more places to live.

As Jude stirred in his sleep, his fingers tightened gently around mine.

Without opening his eyes, he murmured softly,

“Adrian…”

“I’m here, sweetheart.”

A sleepy smile appeared on his face.

“I know.”

And somehow…

Those two words were enough to make every difficult day worth it.