Chapter 17: Jude
1208 Words
Sometimes, I caught myself smiling for absolutely no reason.I’d be sitting in the library with a cup of tea, watching the rain kiss the windows, and suddenly I’d remember the way Adrian had looked at me that morning—as though waking up beside me was still the greatest miracle he’d ever witnessed.
Then I’d smile.
Again.
It had been two months.
Two months since that quiet evening when every wall around my heart had finally come down.
Two months since I’d placed my trust in the man who had spent months proving he would never let it break.
Life hadn’t become perfect.
It had become peaceful.
And somehow, that felt even better.
I used to wake every morning wondering what would go wrong.
Now…
I woke to Adrian brushing his fingers through my hair, whispering, “Good morning, sweetheart,” before I’d even opened my eyes.
I woke to forehead kisses.
To warm blankets because he somehow always noticed when I was cold before I did.
To breakfast waiting because he’d insisted I stop skipping meals.
To his ridiculous habit of stealing the first sip of my coffee just to grin when I frowned at him.
“I was making sure it wasn’t poisoned,” he’d say with complete seriousness.
“You’ve done that every day for two months.”
“And I’ve survived every time.”
“You are impossible.”
“But you adore me.”
I did.
Far more than I ever intended to.
Far more than I ever thought I could love another person.
Adrian had a way of filling every room with warmth without even trying.
The staff adored him.
My family loved him.
Even the old house seemed brighter whenever his laughter echoed through its halls.
But it was the little things that undid me.
The way he’d always reach for my hand without thinking.
The way he’d instinctively moved to the outside of the pavement whenever we walked through town.
The way he’d quietly drape his jacket over my shoulders before I could complain about the evening chill.
The way he’d pause in the middle of meetings just to send me a message.
Have you eaten?
Drink some water for me.
I miss you already.
Sometimes there wasn’t even a reason.
Just…
Thinking about you.
Those four words had become my favourite notification.
There wasn’t a single day he made me question where I stood in his life.
Not once.
His attention never felt overwhelming.
It felt reassuring.
Steady.
Like sunlight warming skin after a long winter.
He had this infuriating habit of looking at me as though I’d hung the stars myself.
It didn’t matter if I was dressed for a formal dinner or wandering around the house in oversized clothes with my hair refusing to cooperate.
He’d still stop whatever he was doing.
Smile.
And say, “There you are.”
As though simply seeing me made his entire day better.
It shouldn’t have made my heart race anymore.
It still did.
Every single time.
“You know you’re staring again,” I’d tease.
“I know.”
“You’re not even embarrassed.”
“Should I be?”
“Most people would be.”
“I’m looking at the person I love.”
His smile would soften.
“I think I’m allowed.”
How was anyone supposed to argue with that?
I never won.
Not that I minded.
The truth was…
Adrian couldn’t seem to get enough of me.
Not in loud, overwhelming ways.
In gentle ones.
He wanted to sit beside me even if there were empty chairs elsewhere.
He’d rest a hand at the small of my back as we walked together, a quiet reminder that I was never alone.
Whenever I disappeared into another room for too long, he’d inevitably appear a few minutes later with some terribly transparent excuse.
“I was looking for a book.”
“The kitchen doesn’t have books.”
“I got lost.”
“You own this house.”
“I still got lost.”
I would laugh.
He’d grin.
Mission accomplished.
He simply wanted to be wherever I was.
And if I leaned against him while we read together or rested my head on his shoulder during long drives, he’d grow impossibly still, as though afraid to disturb the moment.
Once, I apologised.
“I know I’m clingy.”
He looked genuinely offended.
“Clingy?”
“I’ve been following you around all day.”
“My love…”
He cupped my face with both hands.
“I’ve spent months hoping you’d want to.”
My chest had nearly burst.
There were evenings when we’d sit on the balcony, watching the sunset paint the sky in shades of gold and amber.
No conversations.
No distractions.
Just silence.
Comfortable silence.
The kind I’d spent years believing only existed in books.
Yet here it was.
Real.
Sometimes I’d glance at him and realise he wasn’t watching the sunset at all.
He was watching me.
“You’ll miss it,” I’d whisper.
“I already found something prettier.”
I rolled my eyes.
“That line was terrible.”
“It worked.”
“It absolutely did not.”
“You smiled.”
“I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“…I really do.”
His smile in those moments could have rivalled the sunrise.
If someone had told the frightened version of me from a few months ago that love could feel like this, I wouldn’t have believed them.
I thought love meant uncertainty.
Fear.
Constantly wondering whether someone would stay.
Adrian had quietly rewritten every definition I’d ever known.
Love was remembering how I liked my tea.
Love was waiting for me after work just so we could walk home together.
Love was listening to my worries without trying to fix me.
Love was dancing barefoot in the kitchen because our favourite song happened to come on.
Love was laughing until our stomachs hurt over absolutely nothing.
Love was finding home in another person’s embrace.
Two months.
Only two months.
And somehow it felt as though my heart had finally learned how to breathe.
I rested my head against Adrian’s shoulder as he read beside me, absent-mindedly threading our fingers together.
Without looking up from his book, he lifted my hand and pressed a gentle kiss across my knuckles.
“So quiet,” he murmured.
“I’m thinking.”
“Dangerous.”
I nudged him with my shoulder.
He laughed softly.
“What were you thinking about?”
I looked at our intertwined hands.
At the life we’d built from patience, trust and countless little moments.
Then I looked at the man who had become my safest place.
“I was thinking,” I whispered, “that if happiness has a face…”
His eyes met mine.
“…it looks a lot like you.”
For the first time since I’d known him, Adrian was completely speechless.
Then, with a smile so full of love it nearly stole my breath, he wrapped me in his arms.
I settled there willingly.
Because after everything we’d endured, I’d finally learned the simplest truth of all.
Home had never been a place.
It had always been him.
- Writer
