Chapter 26: Jude
1656 Words
Fourteen days.Fourteen mornings without waking up beside him.Fourteen nights of staring at the empty half of our bed.Fourteen days of pretending that a house filled with silence still felt like home.
It didn’t.
It felt haunted.
Not by ghosts.
By memories.
Every room reminded me of him.
The kitchen where he’d danced with me while breakfast burned.
The library where I’d fallen asleep against his shoulder more times than I could count.
The hallway where he always waited for me after work.
The bedroom…
God.
The bedroom hurt the most.
His pillow still smelled like cedarwood and sandalwood.
Sometimes, when the loneliness became too much, I’d hug it against my chest and close my eyes.
It wasn’t enough.
Nothing was enough.
Because I didn’t want his pillow.
I wanted him.
⸻
That afternoon, I finally broke.
I drove to my parents’ house.
Mother opened the door, took one look at me, and immediately wrapped me in a hug.
“Oh, sweetheart…”
That was all it took.
The tears came instantly.
⸻
An hour later, we sat together in the garden.
She listened.
She didn’t interrupt.
She simply held my hand while I told her everything.
The gala.
The argument.
Damian.
The silence.
The guest room.
The way Adrian still made sure I ate.
The way he still looked after me.
The way he loved me…
Without knowing how to come back to me.
When I finally finished, Mother was quiet for a long moment.
Then she smiled sadly.
“You know what I hear?”
I shook my head.
“I hear two people who love each other so much that they’re both terrified of hurting the other.”
I frowned.
“But he won’t talk to me.”
“And have you talked to him?”
“I’ve given him space.”
“You’ve given him silence.”
Her words landed gently.
Not as criticism.
As truth.
“Sweetheart…”
She squeezed my hand.
“Love can’t survive forever on guessing.”
“You’ve both been trying to protect each other.”
“And in doing so…”
She smiled sadly.
“…you’ve both been lonely.”
I looked down at our joined hands.
“I don’t know what else to do.”
Mother reached over and brushed my hair away from my face, just like she had when I was little.
“Go and tell your husband.”
“No pride.”
“No rehearsed speeches.”
“No fear.”
“Just tell him the truth.”
⸻
That evening…
I waited.
Every minute felt like an hour.
I heard the familiar sound of Adrian’s car pulling into the driveway.
Then the front door.
His footsteps.
Slow.
Tired.
Predictable.
He greeted one of the house staff.
Placed his briefcase down.
And just as he had every night for the past two weeks…
He started walking toward the guest room.
Something inside me snapped.
No.
Not tonight.
I couldn’t lose another evening to silence.
“Adrian.”
He stopped.
His shoulders tensed.
But he didn’t turn around.
I swallowed.
“Can we please talk?”
A long silence.
Then…
A quiet nod.
He continued toward the guest room.
My heart dropped.
Until I realised…
The door hadn’t closed.
It was waiting.
For me.
⸻
I stepped inside.
He stood by the window with his back to me.
Neither of us spoke.
I suddenly forgot every sentence I’d planned.
Every carefully chosen word disappeared.
Only my heart remained.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
My voice trembled.
He closed his eyes.
“I know.”
“No…”
The first tear fell.
“I mean this.”
I pressed a hand against my chest.
“This distance.”
“This silence.”
“I can’t.”
“It feels like I’m losing you while you’re standing in the same house.”
He slowly turned around.
His face looked exhausted.
Not angry.
Just…
Heartbroken.
“I’m sorry.”
The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Jude…”
“No, please.”
I shook my head desperately.
“Please let me finish.”
He nodded.
I walked closer.
“I never hid Damian because I didn’t trust you.”
“I hid it because I was terrified we’d end up exactly where we did.”
“I wasn’t scared of you.”
“I wasn’t scared of your love.”
“I have never been scared that you would stop loving me.”
Another sob escaped.
“I was scared of seeing that look on your face again.”
“The one from the gala.”
“The one where you looked so hurt.”
“I couldn’t bear being the reason for that.”
My breathing became uneven.
“I wasn’t protecting myself.”
“I was trying to protect us.”
“I just…”
I laughed weakly through tears.
“I protected us in completely the wrong way.”
He stared at me silently.
“I should’ve told you.”
“The very first day.”
“I know that now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So…”
Another tear slipped down my cheek.
“…so unbelievably sorry.”
His expression softened.
Just a little.
Hope flickered inside me.
“I love you, Adrian.”
My voice cracked.
“So much.”
“You are my home.”
“My safest place.”
“My favourite person.”
“I don’t want a life that doesn’t have you in it.”
I stepped even closer.
“If you want me to transfer hospitals…”
He frowned.
“I will.”
“If you want me to request another post…”
“I’ll do it.”
“If you want me to quit…”
He looked genuinely startled.
“I will.”
“Jude.”
“I don’t care.”
I shook my head.
“I’d rather rebuild my career than lose my marriage.”
“I’d rather start over than spend another night without you.”
“I just…”
I covered my face, crying openly now.
“I just want my husband back.”
The room fell silent.
Then…
Very gently…
Adrian crossed the distance between us.
He carefully took my wrists and lowered my hands from my face.
His own eyes were wet.
“No.”
His voice was barely above a whisper.
“No more.”
I looked at him through blurred vision.
“I never wanted you to quit your job.”
“I never wanted you to give up the career you’ve worked so hard for.”
“You save lives.”
His thumb brushed away a tear.
“I would never ask you to stop doing that.”
“I just…”
His voice broke.
“I wanted you to tell me.”
“I know.”
“I know.”
“I understand now.”
“I thought you were afraid of me.”
“I was afraid of hurting you.”
“I know.”
“I know.”
He let out a shaky breath.
“And I spent two weeks convincing myself I’d become someone you couldn’t trust.”
My heart ached.
“I trust you more than anyone.”
“I always will.”
“I just made a terrible decision because I was scared.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep apologising.”
“I do.”
He smiled sadly.
“No.”
He rested his forehead against mine.
“We’ve both apologised enough.”
His hands found my face, warm and gentle.
“I missed you.”
The confession was so quiet I almost didn’t hear it.
“I missed waking up beside you.”
“I missed hearing you laugh.”
“I missed stealing your coffee.”
A watery laugh escaped me.
“You always steal my coffee.”
“I know.”
“I missed annoying you.”
“I missed you annoying me.”
For the first time in two weeks…
He smiled.
A real smile.
Small.
But real.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“So much.”
“So much.”
He wrapped me in his arms.
I broke completely.
Not because I was hurting anymore.
Because I finally felt safe enough to stop pretending I wasn’t.
He held me while I cried.
Not trying to stop the tears.
Simply reminding me that I wasn’t carrying them alone anymore.
When my breathing finally steadied, he leaned back just enough to meet my eyes.
“We’re going to make a promise.”
“Anything.”
“No more protecting each other with silence.”
I nodded immediately.
“No more.”
“If something scares you…”
“I tell you.”
“If something hurts me…”
“You tell me.”
“We face it together.”
“Together.”
“Always.”
“Always.”
Then he kissed my forehead.
Softly.
Tenderly.
The way he always had.
The kiss wasn’t desperate.
It wasn’t hurried.
It was a promise.
A quiet reminder that, despite everything, they had found each other again.
Later that night, they stayed together in the quiet of their bedroom, holding one another close after weeks apart. Words gave way to long embraces, gentle kisses, and the simple comfort of being reunited. The distance that had filled the house slowly dissolved, replaced by warmth, whispered reassurances, and the steady rhythm of two hearts finally at peace.
For the first time in fourteen days, I fell asleep with my head resting against Adrian’s chest.
His arms were around me.
Mine were around him.
There were still conversations ahead.
Still lessons to learn.
Still moments when fear would try to speak louder than love.
But tonight…
Love answered first.
And for the first time in what felt like forever
- Writer
