I’ve been sitting in the same spot for at least an hour…maybe two? I haven’t been able to move since hanging up with Maggie. The range of emotions that course through me are paralyzing. I’m still having a difficult time with believing that my phone conversation with Maggie actually happened. It’s all so surreal, a freakish nightmare from which I desperately need to wake up from.
But, as much as I wish it were something my mind conjured up in my sleep, I know it’s not. It’s real.
Cooper’s dead.
That knowledge carries so much sadness but also an equal amount of guilt. I think back to Maggie’s phone call, and though I only felt it for less than a second, I can’t pretend that I didn’t feel relief when she said Cooper’s name and not Loïc’s. I’m an awful person. God, I’m so ashamed to admit i
