Getting in Touch with Your Hexed Side

California Witch

I sent out a group text and went to wash up. Joe would be irritated at having his relaxing day interrupted, but, if it meant getting rid of the tail, he’d probably forgive me. I enjoyed the feeling of the hot water, luxuriating more than I probably would have normally. I rationalized the extra water usage by deserving some spoiling when I was going through all this other garbage in my life. Unfortunately, that meant the guys were there to spot me when I came out in a towel. Joe let out a laugh and a wolf whistle.

“Lookin’ good, Tails.”

“You did not,” I stared at Lizzie in utter betrayal.

“I may have let it slip,” she looked unapologetic, to say the least. “Go get dressed so we can get this thing over with. Michael says he’ll be here in just a couple minutes.”

I grumbled, but at least she was letting me choose my own clothes. Hopefully she’d just gotten bored of playing dress up that quickly, but I had a feeling it was more that she had guests to entertain. I took the opportunity to throw on sweats and a tank top.

I came out just as Michael was coming in. We didn’t have enough chairs for everyone around the table, so I crawled up on a nearby countertop. Lizzie shot me a chastising glance, but let me get away with it. I was briefly worried when she left the room, but she only returned with a brush. She tossed it to me, the unspoken command to detangle myself. I sighed and attacked the annoyingly thick locks of hair.

Lizzie dialed the number, putting it on speakerphone and setting the cell in the middle of the table.

“Hello?” the answering voice sounded far too aged for the picture on the website.

“Mrs. Parker?” Lizzie asked hesitantly. “This is Elizabeth; I’m the one who emailed you.”

“Oh, yes, about the four cursed boys,” her dry voice was skeptical, but at least she was talking.

“We’d be more than happy to provide video evidence. I’ve got a wagging tail and an extra pair of twitching ears interrupting my hair style.”

“Perhaps you could just explain what happened in that store a little more clearly. Do you remember anything this supposed witch said? You mentioned symbols; can you describe one?”

My recollection was vague at best, but apparently Caesar had been taking note, reciting the words almost verbatim and describing sigils where I only remembered hand waving. The woman was silent for a moment as he finished.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” she scoffed. 

“Does that mean you know what she did?” Michael asked tentatively. 

“Some nasty karmic transformation magic.”

“Karmic?” I asked.

“You each transformed into something different, right? It must have fed off your personalities somehow. I’d be able to tell you more if I saw you in person.”

I blanched. I didn’t know what aspect of my personality involved turning into a little girl. Then again, Michael was about the furthest guy from a demon I could think of. He followed the rules to a fault.

“The more important question is if it’s reversible,” Joe cut in. “This has pretty significantly impacted our lives here. Unless we’re looking for new careers in the circus I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

“I’d have to see you to know. Unfortunately, it sounds like you aren’t exactly close to California.”

“We’ll find the money for tickets,” I quickly assured her.

“Tails, hate to break it to you, but we aren’t flying anywhere. Even if we had believable IDs the TSA isn’t going to let me on a flight with actual claws.”

“Well what then?” I asked in exasperation.

“I guess we’re going on a road trip,” Caesar shrugged like a 2000 mile roadtrip was the obvious answer.

“It’s not like we’re going back to work,” he added when it was quiet for several moments.

“It’s also possible the spell will wear off in its own time,” the woman said. “Without something personal of yours being used in the spell I can’t imagine it sticking for long.”

“I don’t really want to take that chance,” Joe stretched. “Besides, Caesar’s right. We’re not doing anything else right now. Worst case scenario? We have a fun little brotrip to Cali.”

I sighed, but saw the logic. If we had some fun on the way we could still be there within a week. The circus might not have been too far from reality with the freakshow we’d be taking on the road.

“I’ve got to go to class,” Lizzie sighed. “Can you lot even be trusted for a cross country trip?”

“Probably not, but that’s half the fun,” Joe grinned predatorily. 

“Sounds like I shouldn’t hold my breath,” the witch on the phone said good naturedly. “I’ll send you my shop’s address and hours and, boys?”

“Yeah?” Michael carefully answered.

“Don’t mess up my shop or you’ll walk away even worse than you are now. You have a bad track record now.”

“Duly noted,” the demon swallowed thickly. I didn’t want to think about how much worse it could get.

“Great!” her voice was suddenly bright. “I can’t wait to meet you gentlemen. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually seen someone else’s magic at work. If she’s willing to use that kind of black magic I’m not interested in meeting her, but this could still be fun.”

That was not a word I’d use.

“Good luck, boys. I’ll see you when I see you. I’m sure I’ll be able to pick you out,” she cackled and hung up. 

For a moment we sat in silence. A road trip sounded kind of fun. I hadn’t had a vacation in years. I’d been so focused on work and saving up for a house for Lizzie and I that there hadn’t been the time or money to spare. Then again, a couple weeks stuffed into a car with the insufferable lot would probably quickly change my mind.

“I say we relax and pack today and head out in the morning,” Joe said, rising from the table excitedly. “I’m pumped. Been a long time since I’ve been on a bro-cation.”

“I second that without the horrible pun,” Michael rose. “I’m excited to shed the hooves, but it’s already afternoon and I’ll need time to get things in order. I’ll have to message someone from work to take care of the dogs and find some clothes that’ll cover this condition better.”

“Don’t bother,” Joe laughed. “I’m not going to. We’re going to be freaks either way; may as well do it comfortably.”

They were still arguing about the benefits and drawbacks of going incognito as they left the apartment, voices echoing down the halls.

“What a mess,” Lizzie locked the door behind them and leaned against it. “I was hoping she’d send us a charm or some kind of herbal tea and we’d be good to go.”

“It’ll be fine,” I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her away from the door. “It sucks that you can’t go, but I promise we’ll live.”

“Joe’s going to get himself shot by a hunter,” she laughed.

“I promise I’ll make him wear an orange vest the whole trip,” I crossed my heart, drawing another round of laughter from her.

“I’m going to miss you, whether you’re Jason or Tails.”

“I’m going to miss you too, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get back to normal and put our lives back on track.”

“Your proposal is kind of ruined though,” she smiled.

“I did let that slip, didn’t I? Don’t worry, even if you know it’s coming I promise I’ll make it memorable,” I shot her a grin back.

“Welp,” she pulled away and slapped her thighs. “I suppose we ought to get you packed. Might have to make another trip to the store.”

“For what?” I groaned. “It’s a couple weeks.”

“You’re not taking my brush,” she gestured to the abandoned tool on the countertop.

“Fine,” I fake pouted. “I don’t want your cooties anyway.”

Turns out packing when your name was Lizzie was a lot more complicated than I’d ever made it. I had to have comfortable clothes, casual clothes, a dress ‘just in case the situation calls for it’, and some sleep shorts because it wasn’t appropriate for me to be around the guys in just my underwear. I didn’t tell her it was a little too late for that. Deodorant, I got, but there were brushes and hair products to add to the toiletries. She visibly cringed when I suggested using the motel’s shampoo. I balked at the feminine hygiene products, but she reminded me we had no idea what to expect and it was better than being caught without. I couldn’t argue with that; bleeding on myself while we struggled to find a convenience store didn’t appeal. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.

After an afternoon of arguing, debating, and multiple trips to the store, we managed to cut down my baggage to one oversized duffle and the least ridiculous purse I could find. I’d wanted to go without the additional bag, but Lizzie had espoused on the importance and, well, who was I to argue? I could leave it in the trunk. She also forced me to learn to braid my own hair, though I suspected that was more for her entertainment than practicality. She was determined I was going to live up to my namesake.

We laid on the bed in exhaustion as the sun slowly set outside. Neither of us felt like cooking, so she ordered a pizza and we waited in companionable silence.

“They grow up so fast,” she joked. “One minute they’re crawling out of bed on unsteady legs and the next thing you know they’re taking off in a car with three men. By the way, I got that picture from Caesar. You look pretty comfortable; I’m almost jealous.”

“Don’t be,” I groaned. “I’m not eager for a repeat performance.”

“Yeah? Well remind him that you’re taken if he tries it again. He’s only going to become sexually confused if he gets attached and you go back to being normal.”

The doorbell interrupted that particularly uncomfortable line of conversation. Lizzie jumped up to go and get it, clearly even more starving than I was. I reluctantly pulled my body from the comfortable mattress and followed.

“Ollie,” she dragged the name out, clearly displeased to find our neighbor at the door instead of the pizza guy.

I leaned against the kitchen counter and watched with amusement. It would have been easy to be overly jealous and possessive if I didn’t know how utterly uninterested in the man she was.

“Hi, Lizzie. Talia,” he gave me a little wave when he spotted me behind the counter and I gave him a jolly wave back. I was just glad to have pants on this time.

“I just wanted to check up on you. I thought I hadn’t heard Jason’s voice in a while and I wanted to see if everything was okay.”

“Are you asking about the health of my relationship?” she laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

“No, no,” he was quick to try and salvage the sentiment. “I just thought if he was away for a while you might like some company. I know your sister’s here, but I thought you might want some adult conversation.”

“Hey now,” I protested. “I’m very capable of adult conversation. We just finished an in-depth discussion about planning for this year’s taxes.”

“Right,” he wasn’t entertained by my comedic genius.

“I appreciate the offer, Ollie, but we were just getting ready to eat and then hit an early bedtime.”

“I just fixed up some pasta back at my place. You can always grab some before it gets cold. I think I have some wine laying around too; no reason we can’t enjoy ourselves. Talia would probably enjoy staying up late too.”

I was tempted to tell him how much I wouldn’t enjoy him trying to screw my ‘older sister’, but decided to play it cool.

“Oh, sorry, Ollie. We just ordered a pizza,” she gave a horribly fake wince. “Sorry, we’ll have to take a raincheck on it.”

“Oh, well feel free to swing by if you want some wine or to talk. I’m more than willing to bring it over, too, if you need to keep an eye on Talia.”

Keep an eye on me? I looked young, but not ‘needs a babysitter’ young. I raised a challenging eyebrow at him, but he was pointedly keeping all his attention on Lizzie.

“We’ll see. Like I said, we’ve had a busy day and we might just head to bed early,” she pasted on an even worse emoted smile than the earlier wince.

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see you around. I’ll be right down the hall if you change your mind.”

He sulked out of the doorway and Lizzie gratefully closed it, turning to me and mouthing ‘oh my god’.

“Why don’t you just tell the poor bastard no?”

“I tried a couple times, but he wouldn’t give up. Besides,” she gestured towards the door. “It’s like kicking a damn puppy. I just avoid him for the most part. Besides, he never shows up when you’re around.”

“Jeez, I wonder why,” I commented drily. “It couldn’t be that he’s trying to get you to cheat or anything.”

“No, he’s trying to charm me into leaving you. There’s a difference. Hopefully he'll stop once I have an engagement ring on my finger.”

“Man, you’re really excited for that now, aren’t you?” I smiled.

“Do you blame me?”

“At least I know you aren’t going to say no.”

“Was that a concern?” she frowned at me.

“That’s always a concern,” I shook my head. “Every man’s greatest fear.”

“Well, rest assured, unless you tie it to a tarantula or something I’m not going to turn it down.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I laughed. She looked at me with adoration before catching herself.

“Maybe we need to stop the romance or I’m going to be the one with a confused sexuality,” she shook her head.

“Oh, that sounds promising.”

“Sorry, I’m not adding a schoolgirl to the bedroom,” she laughed. “We’re not adding anyone to the bedroom as far as I’m concerned.”

“Eh, I suppose I can live with that,” I shrugged.

“Unbelievable.”

The doorbell rang again. This time the guest came bearing pizza.