Getting in Touch with Your Hexed Side

A Likely Story

I was slow to wake the next morning, Lizzie gently nudging me to alertness. Thankfully, even if the intimacy wasn’t the same, we’d still fallen asleep tangled together. I don’t think I could have stood a night of cold separation in the same bed as my woman.

“Better wake up,” her eyes shone with barely restrained laughter. “You’ve got a big day ahead of you and you look like an utter mess.”

“Good thing you look beautiful enough for the two of us, then,” I wiggled my eyebrows and she laughed.

“Go get the brush before you get in the shower. You’re about to be introduced to a new kind of scalp pain.”

“Wasn’t so bad yesterday,” I slowly extricated myself, reluctant to leave the warm embrace.

“Yeah, yesterday you didn’t look like you do today. You need to work on your braids so they hold through the night. Unless you want your morning routine to include Joe dragging a brush through your hair.”

I shuddered at the thought.

She was right about the pain, too. I thought it had more to do with the ferocity with which she attacked my hair than the knots themselves, but she assured me it was a necessary violence. I was incredibly grateful when she finally let me escape to the shower.

By the time I made it through the morning routine my phone was constantly pinging with a raging debate about whose car we were going to take across the country. Of course we’d forgotten the most important s**t until the last minute. We took a tally of our bags and I suggested my hatchback would work, but Joe insisted his SUV was the only thing that was going to have enough leg room for him. In the end, I threw down the phone, utterly disgusted, as I was outvoted. I’d have to crawl in and out of that monster probably a hundred times over the next several weeks. Not to mention the fuel costs we were going to end up splitting. He got all of 20 miles to the gallon if he was lucky.

I rushed to grab my bag and a breakfast bar as my phone chirped he was on his way. At least I was the closest so I got my choice of seats.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Lizzie hovered, no doubt making herself late for class by waiting for me to be picked up.

“I’ll be fine,” I promised. “I’ll text you all our misadventures every night and, when we get there, I’ll send you a group pic of us all back to normal dudes.”

“You can leave out the misadventures where Joe almost gets you killed, but I would appreciate the rest.”

My phone beeped again, no doubt Joe was annoyed I wasn’t already outside and waiting for him.

“Take care of yourself,” Lizzie planted a sloppy theatrical kiss on my cheek. I returned the favor and gave her the tightest hug I could manage.

I wished so much I could shower her in tender kisses at that moment, but the curse had stripped even that comfort from me. Instead, I settled for a fierce hug that she turned bone crushing and then dashed downstairs before I could break down and beg her to come with. I’d never thought of myself as having attachment issues, but it was hard to say goodbye to someone for a couple weeks when you hadn’t been apart more than 24 hours for the last several years.

“About time,” Joe growled from the driver’s seat as I comically lept to grab ahold of the rear hatch and shut my bag securely away. 

I climbed into the passenger’s seat, easing into the oversized leather cushions. The man barely waited for me to grab the seat belt before he took off.

“Nice purse,” he nodded to the bag I’d tossed at my feet.

“Yeah, f**k you very much too.”

“Whoa, someone’s in a bad mood. What happened?” he steered into Caesar’s neighborhood as he waited for me to spill.

“I didn’t get to kiss my girlfriend goodbye,” I sighed. “It’s a stupid reason to snap at you. Sorry.”

“Not a problem. If I had a long term girl as good looking as Lizzie I’d be upset about not being able to smooch her too. Fair warning, Caesar’s had some girl trouble too. Catherine came over last night.”

“s**t, didn’t go well?” I was moderately upset my best friend hadn’t called me first, but I understood his thought processes. He knew I’d be busy with Lizzie and didn’t want to bother anyone.

“Nope, took one look at his face and bugged out. Dude didn’t have time to beautify himself before she knocked on the door.”

“Honestly, good riddance. He deserves better. But I’ll be sure to be appropriately consoling,” I added the last at Joe’s dirty look. Even if she was a b***h, she’d been Caesar’s b***h and that meant something to him.

However upset he felt, it didn’t stop him from trying to jack shotgun.

“Nuh-uh,” he motioned me towards the back. “The smallest person doesn’t get to ride passenger.”

“I was here first,” I argued. “This thing is so massive you’ll have more than enough space to sprawl in the back.”

“Pity the man’s legs,” I glared as Joe took Caesar’s side. He just gave a merciousless grin back. “Besides, my car, my rules. Only men or conquests ride shotgun and you are neither.”

“That’s a little too far, Joe,” Caesar echoed my thoughts from outside.

“Fine, asshole,” I seethed, grabbing the small bag off the floor and climbing over the console to sit behind the passenger seat. “You still smell like wet dog from your shower, anyway.”

“Well, this trip is off to a wonderful start,” Caesar sighed heavily as he slid in and shut the door. “Let’s pick up Michael quickly so I have another mediator.

Michael, to his credit, either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the tense atmosphere, gladly taking the back seat without a fuss. He even brought snacks and drinks, something else we’d totally neglected.

“By the way,” he cracked open a soda for himself. “I’m sorry about Catherine. I know you really cared about her.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Caesar sighed. I suddenly wished I’d taken the other seat so I could see his expression. Besides, then I could have kicked the back of Joe’s seat for a couple hundred miles.

“Did you want to egg her car on the way out of town or something? The grocery on 20th is having a sale, I think.”

I thought it was a valid question, but Caesar’s laughter told me I’d said the right thing even if he thought I was joking.

“No thanks,” he shook his head. “Any tourist traps you guys want to hit up in Bloomington before we head to Illinois?”

“God no,” Joe moaned. “We’ve only been to WonderLab a thousand times growing up. Let’s at least get out of the state before we start playing tourist.”

He turned up his god awful music, brokering no argument. Hopefully this road trip was going to turn into more of a democracy than a dictatorship as we went along. Joe, well behaved for almost all of yesterday had already made it on my s**t list not even thirty minutes into our several thousand mile journey.

Joe and Caesar bonded through off key singing and Michael was content to munch on snacks, pulling out a book and escaping to his own world. I pitched in singing for the songs I knew, drawing laughter as I tried to find the pitches with new vocal chords. I got the hang of it after a few attempts, cutting the laughter to a stop as I proved myself less tone deaf than either of them.

They eventually got tired of that, turning down the radio and turning the talk to sports. Unfortunately, I had nothing to contribute on that, so I settled for staring out the window. The Sun was in full force and the warmth on my face and the thrum of the roads knocked me out.

I startled awake to screaming laughter from Joe, bent over the wheel as he wheezed at whatever Caesar had said.

“Jesus Christ,” I reached over and slapped his shoulder. “You gave me a heart attack.”

“Damn,” he rubbed his shoulder, but it was obviously for show. “I think I’ve got you figured out, Talia. You’re just always grumpy when you wake up.”

“I’ll be sure to wake you up with a scream in your ear tomorrow morning and we’ll see how good of a mood you pop up in.”

His glare promised pain and suffering if I did any such thing.

“Anyway, now that you woke me up, I gotta pee. Let’s stop somewhere; this monster has to need gas by now.”

“You’re joking,” Joe tilted the rearview mirror so he could fully meet my gaze. “We’ve been on the road for all of three hours. Did you not have the common sense to go before we left?”

“I did,” I muttered, wiping my palms on my thighs. “Not my damn fault.”

“Whatever, fish one of the empty bottles out of the trash sack.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me. You want your back seat covered in piss?”

“Not particularly. I knew a chick who could do it; you can manage.”

“I assure you I can’t,” I said humorlessly. “Five minutes at a gas station or whatever isn’t going to kill us. Not like we’re on a schedule or anything.”

“How about the side of the road?” Joe prodded. “Thirty seconds and we can be on our way.”

“No,” I said firmly. “I wouldn’t want to whip it out for a highway full of witnesses before, I’m sure as hell not putting my ass on display now.”

“Just find a gas station,” Michael rolled his eyes. “Stop being obstinate. We’re going to be stuck in close quarters for a long time. May as well try to get along.”

Joe finally agreed to stop, but he took his sweet time about it. It was fifteen miles until he found one just off the highway and I was squirming in my seat by the time it came in view. I jumped from the car before it stopped and all but ran into the gas station. My hurried shuffle towards the back only drew mildly entertained glances from the attendants; probably something they saw on a regular basis.

I barely, barely, made it to the toilet. I could have cried at the relief, but my phone chirping interrupted any tears that may have been coming.

You make it, princess? - Joe.

Yeah, barely, asshole. Don’t you dare do this again. I’m not putting up with it next time. I don’t even care. Try me and I’ll piss all over that expensive leather you put in that thing. - Talia

I frowned at the changed signature. Someone had changed my nickname in the app, but I wasn’t sure whether to put the blame on one of the guys or Lizzie.

No need to be so hostile. How about you give me more than fifteen minutes warning next time? - Joe

Emergencies happen. I know you would have stopped sooner if it’d been one of the others. - Talia

Yeah, I would have stopped within a minute . . . On the side of the road. - Joe

Let’s drop it. Everyone is fine, the leather seats are fine, crisis averted. - Michael

Better hurry it up, Buttercup. We’re drawing some admirers out here. - Joe

Maybe you should have covered the ears then. You’re clearly not sympathetic to my newfound weakness. I’m not going to feel bad for you because you have a tail and some social woes. - Talia

Not that your social skills were much improved without the fur. - Talia

Damn, I may be the dog, but you’re the one who turned into a b***h. - Joe

I really hoped this station sold baseball bats, because I had a pair of shins that needed some concussive attention. I finished and stalked out to the store proper, but the guys were waiting outside somewhere. Wanting to spite Joe a little more, I spent a little time browsing the aisles. No baseball bats, but a candy bar looked amazing. Too bad my wallet was in my purse instead of my pants and that had been utterly forgotten in the car. I left the store with neither a weapon nor sweets.

Joe was right that they’d gathered a small crowd, but instead of gazing in terror the three men were excitedly chattering to the group.

“I’ve always wanted to go to one of those big cons,” a sandy haired willow of a guy sighed dreamily. “Your costumes are all just amazing.”

Of course, it was the perfect cover. There were always conventions going on somewhere, right? And conventions always had people dressed up and the weirdest s**t imaginable. We should have printed off some fake passes and put them on lanyards for public use. 

“Oh, who’s this?” a slightly pudgier boy caught sight of me on the way over. No offense to Caesar, but this guy looked like what Caesar would look like if my friend took a little less care of himself. This was the kind of friend he met at a LAN and brought over for a month or so until he got tired of the mess they inevitably left. 

“Little sister,” I gave the explanation and a weak wave. They were hooked.

“You’re so lucky,” the second guy turned back to the guys, not bothering to ask whose sister I was and not noting I looked like none of them. “It’s so hard to find a girl willing to go to a Con.”

It wasn’t really true. Caesar always managed to snag a group to go to his little events in and I knew I’d seen at least a couple women over at his place applying ridiculous makeup. Didn’t stop the first guy from looking me over with a discerning eye.

“You really need to dress up though. Their costumes are so incredible I’m sure you could get something amazing too. I’ve got some ideas,” he tapped his chin in fake thought. 

The three of them proceeded to argue about what fictional character I would look best as. I tried to extricate us from the situation, but the others were fully entertained and had no intention of bailing. Caesar started chipping in with his own ideas and I slumped on the front of the SUV, knowing we were going to be here a lot longer than the five minutes it had taken me to pee.

I wasn’t sure how much later they broke it up, but it wasn’t until the trio of strangers realized they were running late for something or another I couldn’t have been less interested in.

“f*****g finally,” I climbed into my seat when Joe unlocked the door.

“You were right, Talia,” Joe laughed. “Stopping here was a great idea. Better than any tourist trap in Indiana.”

“Hold on, I need to go purchase the best blunt implement I can find,” I grabbed my purse and reached for the door, but Joe hit the child locks and pulled away from the station before I could do anything else. Like reach up and strangle him.

“I can’t tell if you two are joking or not,” Caesar sighed. “If it counts for anything, I enjoyed talking with them.”

“I guess as long as you enjoyed it,” I sat back in the seat with a huff.

“Damnit, I forgot to buy a funnel,” Joe smacked the wheel.

“I really hope that’s because you’re running low on oil, because I’m not appreciating the alternative.”

“Oh my god stop,” Caesar waved between us. “If you bicker this whole time I’m going to die.”

‘Sorry,” I automatically responded. “So is our official cover story that we’re going to some comic or anime convention?”

“Sounds good to me,” Caesar responded enthusiastically at the same time Joe groaned.

“Man, I don’t know anything about that crap.”

“You play video games with me; you’ll be fine,” Caesar shrugged. “What about you, Mike?”

“I know enough to get by.”

“Easy, then. What’s our next stop?” Joe flexed his hands on the wheel. “I’m good for an amusement park or something.”

“Something we won’t spend all day at,” I supplied. 

“I agree. I’d like to get back to normal,” Michael sighed.

“Even if we drive all day every day we’re still looking at a three day trip,” Joe pointed out. “We may as well enjoy ourselves a little bit.”

“If we drove through the night we could be there tomorrow,” I countered.

The entire car groaned.

“That’s easy for you to say when you’re not going to be one of the drivers,” Joe complained.

“For now,” Michael played the peacekeeper. “Let’s drive another handful of hours and see if we can’t find ourselves somewhere nice to eat.”

That seemed agreeable to everyone and we settled in for the long haul.