To Dream Is To Die

Chapter 1-2

I crouched and examined the small clearing for a while. What had pulled me into the area was still unclear to me. But when I stood up, I finally felt it—there was a reason I had come to this part of the woods, and it was now very clear. What I sensed wasn’t something I could look at in my current state. I’d have to return to investigate without my body.

Despite the urge to fall asleep right there in the woods, I began to make my way back to the dorm building. The group that had been smoking earlier was gone, leaving the campus practically abandoned. It was oddly quiet and I liked it—though I suspected this was a rare peace.

When I returned, I stopped at the door. Putting my ear up against it, I tried to make out if Erica was back. As soon as I was sure I didn’t hear anything, I went inside and looked at what she had done. At some point she had returned, but only to change her clothes. Boxes and suitcases were thrown all over the dorm room, with pieces of clothing hanging out from everything. Some of her clothes were even resting on my bed.

After I managed to navigate the minefield of Erica’s boxes and threw her clothing back to her side of the room, I jumped onto my bed. As soon as I rolled over to find the TV remote, a knock sounded on the door.

“Erica, you in there?” The masculine voice made me roll my eyes. Erica had only been here one day and she already had a boy to mess around with. This was going to be a long year.

I carefully jumped from my bed and made my way across the room to open the door a crack. “She’s not here.” I said briskly, hoping that would be enough to make him leave.

A man with shaggy black hair and hazel eyes stood at the door, I had to glace up to see his startled expression. “Oh, do you know where she is?”

“Nope. When I got back, she wasn’t here.” Please just leave.

“Do you mind if I wait a little bit to see if she shows up?”

I could tell he was stalling for time. This was a problem that was not going away.

“Why don’t you just call her?” I snarled. I knew I was being harsh, but for some reason his presence made me uncomfortable and annoyed.

He shrugged, “I don’t have her number... She hasn’t given it to me yet. Come on, I’ll stay on her side and you won’t notice that I’m here. I’ll only stay for thirty minutes and if she doesn’t show up by then, I’ll leave.” He grinned in what I was sure he considered a charming manner, revealing a row of perfectly white teeth. His disheveled hair flopped into his eyes, which he quickly flicked to the side as he waited for my response.

“Fine, whatever. Do what you want.” I opened the door wider and stalked back to my bed. I noticed he shut the door before going to sit on Erica’s computer chair. That made me uncomfortable.

“So, who are you?” He playfully glanced at me while swiveling the chair back and forth as I attempted to go back to watching TV.

“Brenna.”

He didn’t need to know anything. I knew I was being rude, but I didn’t care. He could get laid on his own time. It was pointless to just sit in the room like a lost puppy. I crossed my arms and tried to focus my attention back onto the television.

“Where are you from, Brenna?”

“That you don’t need to know. You can stay here and wait for Erica, but I’m going to watch TV and you should too.” Rude, and definitely not the best way to make friends like my mother was hoping I would, but he had invaded my space, though it was partially my fault for letting him wait for her. Probably not the smartest thing to do.

“You sure don’t play nice, do you? I’m just trying to make conversation.” He snapped in annoyance as he shifted in his chair to face me.

“I don’t want to make conversation, I’m tired and I just want to watch TV.” I flicked the volume up a few more bars to prove my point.

All he did was grunt back, but he finally turned his attention to the TV set. I didn’t look at him until it was time for him to leave. Erica never showed up, which was no surprise to me. When I looked over at him for the first time, he locked eyes with me for a moment and nodded before getting up to leave. After the door slammed shut behind him, I grabbed my pajamas and shower gear before making my way into the hall bathroom.

After a lukewarm shower, I walked back into the room to find Erica passed out on my bed. Of course. Where else? Looking over at the clock on my desk, I noticed it was already midnight, and she reeked of alcohol and smoke. She sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping on my bed smelling like that. I went through her boxes to find some sheets and a comforter. Feeling rushed, I made her bed, and threw a few more blankets on it just to get them off the floor.

“Erica, come on. Time to move to your own bed before you puke all over mine,” I poked her until she started to move.

She mumbled something I couldn’t make out and rolled over. Obviously, she was going to be difficult about it. Good thing I was strong and she was only 5’3”. I lifted her up with a bit of a struggle and heaved her onto my shoulder. As carefully as I could, I shuffled over to Erica’s side of the room and laid her onto her bed, nearly hitting the wall as she flopped down. She lifted her head and the look on her face was that of surprise. Slight recollection seemed to hit her when she realized she was in her own bed. Mumbling something, Erica shifted farther into the bed on her own, and pulled the sheets over her head.

I grabbed a trashcan and put it near her head. “If you feel sick, throw up in here. It’s right beside your bed. I’m going to sleep.” I thought she tried to say thanks, but I couldn’t hear anything besides more muffled grunts.

It was no surprise that she had already gone partying, according to pop culture, kids who first moved to college would start to party almost immediately. At least, that’s what I heard. Actually, all levels of college students tended to start right away. It reminded me of my early high school days when I enjoyed partying as well. The memories left a poor taste in my mouth.

Lying down, I settled my body for the usual routine, the same thing I had undergone every night for the last three years. Slowly, I drifted to sleep, and then my eyes opened to stare down at my sleeping body. I felt no pain. I felt nothing. My clothes were no longer there and I stood, watching my chest rise and fall, naked.

Ever since that accident years ago, this had taken the place of sleep. My body rested while my spirit left to live in the Fade. It was cool…at first, but now it was just annoying. At least I had learned how to make some sort of clothing mentally so I didn’t have to wander around the spiritual plane as naked as the day I was born. Unfortunately, the only things I could materialize were jeans and a crop top. I still needed to practice.

I looked over and saw that Erica had thrown up a little bit. Thankfully, she aimed well, it must have been when I was falling asleep. I didn’t exactly have a lot of awareness in the moment between worlds—I was still working on that part. Even though everything seemed to be exactly the same, it really wasn’t. On the spiritual plane, the world was brighter, and louder. All of my senses were heightened, and the room looked as though a light had been turned on.

I had seen my fair share of spirits, but most didn’t like me very much. When they figured out I was actually alive, they became angry and didn’t find it fair. Some of the nastier ones perceived my presence as a kind of trespassing. They’d attempt to become my personal poltergeist, but they always got bored of it eventually. It became an easy arrangement. Just like with the living; if you ignore me, I’ll ignore you and we can all live peacefully. Even the spirits that lived in my house back in Richmond wouldn’t talk to me, though I had been trying for a while.

Thankfully, while outside of my body, I couldn’t smell anything on the physical plane. That was the one sense that seemed to dull. Which meant I couldn’t smell Erica’s vomit. So, before Erica decided to wake up again, I left.

I explored the dorm building for a while, curious as to what the other students were doing. Some were partying, but they kept the music low—probably paranoid security would discover all the underage drinking—others were already asleep, reading, or playing video games. Most were socializing; not many seemed to seek solitude like I did.

Finally, I floated from the building to make my way back to the woods. Coming to the clearing, I descended, and approached the large tree from earlier. Looking at it in this form, I could clearly see what had attracted me here.

From what I could tell, there were three planes of existence: The mortal plane–where all living things lived–and the Fade where spirits dwelled, among other things. But the third was something I had never seen. I only knew it existed from the doors. Found mostly on trees, there were doorways to another plane of existence I had no access to. They contained beings that I only saw when I was a spirit. I called them “fairies” and “demons” because I couldn’t think of a better description. Names based off appearances, I know, but I didn’t know the actual names for what they were.

Although they were undetectable by anyone on the mortal plane, there were legends about them throughout history. From those, and my own experience, I understood the doors operated on a sort of cycle. They would only open during certain nights, allowing them free reign of the Fade. But once the night was over, they would return to their realm. When it was a full moon, the demons came through the doorways. Though not the prettiest things to look at, the demons tended to enjoy messing with humans. Not necessarily hurting anyone, but just hovering around them, causing mood shifts occasionally. They would move items around, trip people up, follow them, and on occasion throw acorns at people and animals. That was their favorite mischievous activity. The demons were basically small, disfigured pranksters.

There have been many studies on humanity and the effects of the full moon that make them go crazy or believe they are a werewolf or some other such nonsense. It had nothing to do with the full moon, just with the demons being allowed to escape. When the night of the full moon ended, they returned to their domain, leaving behind whatever mess they had created.

During the time of first and third quarter, and new moon, the fairies were given leave to roam from their own doorways. I hated them. Unlike the demons, their energy was hostile. A few times I had seen them torture any spirit they came across, or even whisper into the ears of humans, causing them to react violently. It wasn’t often that I would run across a fairy, but I preferred it that way. Though beautiful, they were little shits.

There was no doubt about this tree. It was a demon gateway. The door appeared old, as if it had been there for centuries with the worn wood and small cracks. Because the doorways were on trees, I had found a few at home, but whenever I traveled to populated areas, they became harder to find. Once I had discovered a doorway in the wood frame of a friend’s home. Fairy doors, however, were much more difficult to locate. To this day, I hadn’t seen one. I had only seen the beautiful little monsters flying around.