When Love Knocks

Chapter 7

Nevaeh watched as Ezra followed Jackson, her heart racing watching the pair of them, aside from the hair color Jackson could be Ezra’s twin when it came to looks. She turned on her heel walking towards the kitchen, calling for Samson and Delilah to go out. She grabbed a cigarette and her phone and took them out back.

She sat on the back porch step after lighting up and then pressed on a familiar number in her phone and listened to it ring. A few seconds later it was picked up and the voice on the other end could be heard through the phone, “Hey Babygirl, I was starting to get worried about you and the munchkin. Y’all get settled in okay?” Nevaeh chewed on her lip and took a drag before answering, “Marcus, I’m completely screwed. I haven’t even been back but a couple days and I’ve already run into him. He even weaseled his way into my house and is playing with Jack…”, “Well that’s great, he must’ve taken the news well then if he’s already trying to bond wit,” She cut Marcus off before he could continue, “I haven’t told him anything, he doesn’t know. I don’t know how I should tell him. It’s been so long, he may not forgive me. I can’t risk losing,” This time it was her turn to be interrupted. “Nevaeh Lynn, ain’t no way you’d lose that little boy. Now put those big girl panties on, and tell the damn man. Hasn’t he already missed ‘nough of his son’s life?”

She huffed and took a long pull on the cigarette before answering, “I really didn’t feel like getting a lecture you know,” , “ I’m not lecturing you, just telling you the truth. You should know by now I don’t play that bullshit Babygirl.” Marcus told her with a voice that told her he was smiling on the other end of the phone which only made her reluctantly shake her head and smile, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” she said. “Thanks Marcus, I’ll call again soon. I should go start getting Jack ready for bed. We love you,”, “Love you too Nevaeh, you keep taking good care of that little boy, and just tell the damn man the truth already.” She finished the call and hung up. Standing up from where she was sitting and turned to go inside.

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Nevaeh walked up the stairs and stood outside the cracked door to Jackson’s room and listened as Ezra read him a story. It made her feel terrible for not telling him, but just listening to him read one story to Jackson wasn’t enough to decide that he’d be a good father. She knew this one, it was one Jackson picked out every night so she almost had it memorized and knew it was almost to the end. She stepped in quietly and her heart hammered in her chest seeing her little boy snuggled up with Ezra. Their eyes met and she gave a small smile, while he went back to the book and finished reading the last few pages. When he finished she heard Jackson, “Will you read it again? Pwease?” She laughed and spoke up, “Sorry Bean, but it’s time to get ready for bed. Little boys need a good night’s rest.” He grumbled a little bit but got up and went to get his pajamas and then went to get ready in the bathroom down the hall.

She was watching after him when Ezra spoke behind her, “You’re raising a great kid, you’re a great mom Neva, I’m sorry for yelling yesterday.” she turned to face him and met his gorgeous eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. “Thank you, I need to get him into bed, but well,” she started, “If you would like to stay and talk some more, you can.” she added. He smiled, “I’d like that, I’ll wait downstairs.” He said leaving the room. Nevaeh chewed her lip, trying to plan out exactly how she was going to tell him, her nerves were already on the rise again and her fingers itched to be holding a smoke to her lips to help calm her down.

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When she finally made her way downstairs after tucking Jackson in bed for the night she saw Ezra looking at the photographs she had placed about the room. “He’s finally out, do you mind if I step out for a moment?” she asked. He shook his head no and followed her as she went out back. “You don’t have to come out with me, bad habit, sorry.” she said as she took out a cigarette and lit it. He seemed to let out a breath of relief, taking out his own and joining her. “Thanks for indulging him earlier. He gets so excited about his trucks, but I gotta be honest, there’s only so many times you can ooh and aah over the same ones.” she said with a small laugh. She sat down on the step and he joined her while replying, “It’s no problem, he’s a cute kid.” There was a moment of silence before he spoke up again, “Where have you been all this time Nevaeh? I mean you broke up with me over a text back then and then ignored me.” She took a drag feeling guilty, “I mean fuck.” he continued, “Did you leave me because you met the boy's dad?”

Nevaeh looked down at her feet, “It wasn’t like that, there wasn’t anyone else. Ezra, I loved you, but I didn’t want you to throw away a bright future because of me.” he started to interrupt her but she held her hand up to stop him, “You probably don’t realize but I knew you never accepted one of those acceptance letters you received. Were you f*****g crazy?! You had offers from all over this damn country and you hadn’t even accepted one? Why? It didn’t make sense.” she looked at him. Ezra avoided looking at her knowing his excuse was weak and instead of answering took a drag on his own cigarette before mumbling, “I was gonna ask you to marry me that night.” Nevaeh stopped talking and shook her head, “Excuse me?” she asked, not believing what she had heard.

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Ezra turned so he was facing Nevaeh and spoke louder this time, “I said, I was going to ask you to marry me. That’s why I never accepted any of those offers because I wasn’t focused on that. I wanted to focus on starting a life with you. I figured that I’d support you while you followed your dreams and then you’d be there to be my support. After that I figured we’d be wise enough to begin thinking of starting a family. But you just f*****g left, you didn’t even tell me you were leaving. Don’t you think I was hurt by that?” He asked as he was trying hard to remain calm but she had been the one to dredge up the past and all it did was piss him off. He brought it on himself but thinking of her with another man was infuriating, she had a child with someone who wasn’t him. “It obviously didn’t take you long to move on either because he can’t be more than four. Was he charming? Did he give you something I couldn’t? Because I know for a fact I kept you satisfied.” he finished before his head was whipped to the side and his cheek stung. His eyes were wide, and watched her chest heaving up and down her eyes full of unshed tears. “You’re a f*****g asshole! Get out of my house!” she shouted standing up. He got up and reached out to her, “Wait, Neva, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” He pulled his hand back when she flinched out of his way. “Don’t touch me, just go.” came her reply.

Ezra gave her one last look before walking around the outside of the house and starting up his truck. What the hell was wrong with him, he beat on his steering wheel causing the horn to blare before stopping and pulling out of the drive. He had come over to try and fix whatever was wrong between them and instead had taken two-steps back.

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Nevaeh watched Ezra walk away from her, his shoulders hunched in defeat and as soon as he was out of her sight she fell to her knees in the grass and let the big fat ugly tears come out. They hadn’t even really been able to discuss anything, let alone her being able to tell him the truth about Jackson.

When she finally stopped enough she picked herself up and went to take care of the dogs and grabbed another smoke while they did their final business of the night trying to calm her nerves before dragging herself inside to get ready for bed. She brushed her teeth and undressed making sure a nightshirt was close at hand for in the morning before crawling under the covers trying to shut her brain off but failing and instead cried herself to sleep.

*

“Mommy, mommy, mommy get up!” yelled Jackson shaking her shoulder, she groaned before rolling over making sure the sheet still covered her. “What’s up buddy?” she asked, picking up her phone and seeing it was barely even seven thirty. “There’s a man here, he says he has something for you.” Nevaeh furrowed her brows, “Okay buddy, tell him I’ll be right there okay.” Jackson ran out of the room and she got out of the bed quickly pulling on a pair of shorts from yesterday and the nightshirt before heading downstairs and answering the door. “Ms. McKay?” the gentleman asked. “That’s me.” he handed her a drink carrier and left, “Have a great day ma’am.” he said before getting into his car and leaving. Nevaeh shut the door and shook her head taking the drink carrier and the drinks it contained into the kitchen. She was going to dump them out when a note caught her attention. Placing the drink onto the counter and opening it,

“Nevaeh,

I’m sorry about last night, if my memory serves me correctly you probably slept like s**t last night. Please accept this peace offering, Chai Chiller with a shot of espresso. It used to be your favorite after a rough night.

E”

She wanted to dump it still but it was her favorite and she could really use the caffeine right now. A small smile graced her lips as she took a drink, she let Jack know she was letting the dogs out and stepped out with them getting her day started.