Chapter5: Loosing Control
1042 Words
RAPHAEL TOUCHED HER.
The memory slammed into me with the force of a physical blow.
Her stumbling. Raphael catching her. His hands on her arms.
The growl that had ripped from my throat had been involuntary. Primal. A warning that if anyone touched what was mine again, I'd tear them apart.
SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM.
He was helping her.
DON'T CARE. NO ONE TOUCHES HER. EVER.
My claws broke through my fingertips. Pain lanced up my hands.....sharp, grounding, but not enough.
"That's it." Raphael grabbed my shoulder. "Outside. The forest. Now."
I let him pull me away from the warehouse, away from the other kings, toward the tree line at the edge of the property.
The moment we were among the trees, I doubled over, hands on my knees, fighting for control.
Black. Silver. Black. Silver.
My wolf was winning.
ENOUGH. ENOUGH WAITING. ENOUGH CONTROL. SHE'S OURS. CLAIM HER.
"How long has it been since you've had to fight him this hard?" Raphael asked quietly.
"Never," I managed through gritted teeth. "Not since..."
I cut myself off.
Not since I killed my father. That was the last time my wolf and I had been at war like this. When he'd wanted blood and vengeance and death, and I'd needed to stay in control long enough to do what had to be done.
But this was different.
This wasn't about violence.
This was about her.
GO TO HER. PROTECT HER. CLAIM HER. NOW.
"She smelled like moonlight," I said hoarsely, not meaning to speak the words aloud. "And snow. And something I can't name. Something ancient. Something that made my wolf...."
I stopped, shaking my head.
"Insane?" Raphael supplied.
"Desperate."
The word hung in the air between us.
Desperate. After a hundred years of emptiness, of loneliness, of wondering if the mate bond was just a myth—there she was. Small. Terrified. Broken by a world that had told her she was worthless.
Mine.
OURS.
For once, my wolf and I agreed completely.
"What are you going to do?" Raphael asked carefully.
I straightened slowly, forcing my claws to retract, forcing my eyes to stay silver through sheer willpower.
"I'm going to go home," I said, my voice rough but controlled. "I'm going to give her space. Let her settle. Let her realize she's safe."
NO. BAD PLAN. TERRIBLE PLAN.
"And then?" Raphael prompted.
"Then I'm going to court her." I met his gaze. "Properly. The way a mate deserves. I'm going to prove I'm worth choosing."
OR WE COULD JUST CLAIM HER TONIGHT.
No.
YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE.
And you're impatient.
I'VE WAITED A HUNDRED YEARS.
Then you can wait a little longer.
My wolf snarled but retreated....barely. I could still feel him pacing, restless, ready to surge forward at the slightest provocation.
Raphael studied me for a long moment. "You're really going to try the slow approach? With your mate? When every instinct you have is screaming to claim her right now?"
"Yes."
"Even though it might kill you?"
"Especially because of that." I turned back toward the parking lot. "She's been hurt. Used. Sold like property. She thinks I bought her to use her. To break her."
"And you're going to prove her wrong."
"I'm going to prove I'm worth trusting." I started walking toward my vehicle....the one at the back of the convoy, not the one she was in. "Even if it destroys me."
Behind me, I heard Raphael mutter, "It just might."
He wasn't wrong.
******
We arrived at the estate just after dawn.
The gates swung open as the convoy approached, and I watched through the window as the vehicles ahead of us pulled up to the main entrance.
I saw Marcus help her out of the SUV....saw her small form wrapped in my cloak, trembling, overwhelmed.
She looked up at the castle, and even from this distance, I saw her face go pale.
Terrified.
Of my home. Of my world. Of me.
My hands clenched into fists.
GO TO HER.
No.
SHE NEEDS US.
She needs space.
My vehicle continued past the main entrance to the private garage at the back of the castle. I didn't want her to see me arrive. Didn't want to terrify her more than I already had.
The other kings had already departed...they'd said their goodbyes at the warehouse, promising to reconvene for the annual summit in three months. They'd all looked at me with varying degrees of concern and curiosity.
They knew something had happened tonight. Something significant.
But only Raphael knew the truth.
I climbed out of the SUV and made my way through the back corridors of the castle. Servants bowed as I passed, but I barely noticed them.
My feet carried me to the courtyard....the one with a clear view of the tower where I'd had her suite prepared.
I'd started preparing it two weeks ago.
After the dream.
I'd dreamed of silver-white hair and violet eyes and the scent of moonlight. I'd woken with my wolf howling, certain that she was close. That I'd find her soon.
So I'd prepared a room. Just in case.
And then I'd gone to that auction on a whim....something I never did....and there she was.
Fate.
I stood in the courtyard, staring up at the tower. The windows glowed with soft light. She was up there. In the room I'd made for her.
Safe.
Mine.
GO TO HER.
Tomorrow.
NOW.
I Said Tomorrow!
My wolf snarled, but I held firm.
I would give her tonight. Let her sleep, let her process, let her breathe.
Tomorrow, I'd face her. Tomorrow, I'd begin the impossible task of proving to a terrified omega that the monster she feared would rather die than hurt her.
But tonight, I stood in the courtyard and watched her window like a lovesick fool.
Because even though I couldn't go to her, I couldn't leave her either.
THIS IS PATHETIC.
I know.
A HUNDRED YEARS OF WAITING AND NOW WE JUST... STAND HERE?
Yes.
I HATE YOU.
I know.
But it didn't matter.
Because somewhere above me, three stories up, my mate was safe in the room I'd built for her.
And tomorrow, I'd begin the battle to win her heart.
Even if it took another hundred years.
- Writer
