Wings, Beasts and Claws: Violet Embers

Ch. 27 : Tentative Forgiveness

Another stretch of silence spread across the building as I took a moment to process everything I had just learned. I watched Samuel as he searched my face expectantly, a faint light of what I could only assume to be hope, glinting from their clear depths. Enna was giving me a similar gaze too, only hers was a bit heavier, her hands twitching as if she wanted to reach out and touch mine. Maybe she wanted to pick up on my emotions, as she said she could, and see what it was that was keeping me so silent for so long.

Truth be told, I was torn.

On the one hand, I want to forgive this much more grown version of my half-brother Samuel and finally put another portion of the past behind me. I had forgiven Rosanna and our Father for their own dark deeds, though Father was merely a witness to my pain and never truly participated. Rosanna’s actions in the past were… bad, but it never truly went past cruel names and a slap or two here and there.

Samuel’s deeds, as well as his now dead older brother and imprisoned mother, were much more nightmare inducing.

He was one of the three that would whip me and Arden when we were chained in the Greenhouse. He was one of the ones that would taunt us with food while we starved. He had helped spread the rumor of my terrible mistake in sleeping with a Du Pleasant Knight that had broken my heart. He was behind my k********g, my fear and my nightmares that still plague me to this very day. And though I understand that he didn’t have anyone else to show him how to be a kind and worthy man, he was one of the three people that had tormented me for the ten years I lived in the estate after my mothers funeral.

“I believe that you have changed.” I started, staring at his outstretched hand. “And I believe that you have truly repented on your past actions.” I looked up and had to pause, swallowing hard as another flash of a painful memory crossed my mind. “I will forgive you, because I can’t move on and fully heal in my life if I hold on to the past.” He started to smile and reached for me further, perhaps thinking I would take his hand in mine. “But that doesn’t mean I can forget…” My words were soft at the end and his smile dropped, his hand slowly pulling back until it fell off the table and onto his lap.

“I understand…” Enna frowned and looked like she was about to protest, but he stopped her, smiling faintly before turning to look back at me. “You’re still having nightmares, aren’t you?”

I stiffened a bit, wondering how he knew this. Only Ivy, Arden and Dorian know of my nightmares and have come to me before to help calm my panicked mind once I awoke in a cold sweat.

“I used to hear your cries at night.” He explained, staring at the table with a wave of guilt returning to his gaze. “Arden would sometimes be in there, consoling you after you’d wake up in tears… I didn’t know what they were about, but I had known that you’d have nightmares a few times a week until they happened once or twice a month as you got older.”

I smiled stiffly, feeling strangely awkward now that he fully understood how I had been feeling then, and now.

“Forgive me for changing the subject.” Enna said, making us both turn to look at her. “But I just realized that you had shown up for the former Dukes funeral… and we haven’t really heard how he died.” Samuel’s eyes widened then, turning to look back at me with a genuine look of curiosity. “No one in the city knows and, with the sudden lock down of the estate and your arrival… it doesn’t look like something natural.”

I sucked in a breath then, trusting my instincts and explaining what had happened in the estate and why things are the way they are. Samuel’s eyes darkened as I spoke, a soft growl rumbling in his chest as the details of our fathers death were revealed to him. Enna looked appalled and even paled a bit as I talked about the eye witness accounts of two men seen through the fence of the Du Pleasant land.

“Samuel’s been with me the entire time!” She proclaimed, jumping out of her seat and staring at me. “He hasn’t met with any maid of the Duchy and has spent the entire time showing me around the city and the different places he used to go to as a child.” She anxiously looked at him, clasping her hands to her chest before turning back to me. “He would never try to hurt his father, or either one of his sisters and their families!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as I said, “It’s alright Enna, I know.”

Confusion took over her face and her eyes bounced between her amused looking Mate and me multiple times before she sat back down, looking lost.

“You do?” She muttered, fidgeting in her seat.

“Yes love,” Samuel told her, taking her hand in his gently. “Amara wouldn’t have told us anything if she suspected me at all.” His eyes widened then and he whipped around, looking at me with embarrassment. “Oh, Sorry… I just realized that I’ve been addressing you casually this whole time, Your Majesty.”

Enna’s eyes widened then too and she began to apologize over and over again until she believed that I was completely fine with them addressing me casually.

After this they told me about their small journey and plans on what they were hoping to accomplish before Enna gets too big to be of much help. They admitted that they didn’t have much coin to provide them with a consistent means of travel unless they wanted to sacrifice what they had stored away for the purchase of a home. They also told me that they hadn’t had the chance to approach a Temple to seal their Bond as Mates through a wedding ceremony. Enna did not want to risk anyone recognizing Samuel if they went to one and Samuel not sure how things had changed in regards to the ceremony itself.

So, feeling a strong and undeniable need to help them, I asked if they would like me to perform a shortened version of the wedding ceremony there in the hut. Of course I wasn’t certified to perform the full wedding itself, since I was no Temple Priestess. But the ending of the ceremony itself where the two seal their Bond as Mates and gain the Mate Mark, that was something I could help them with.

Samuel was stunned silent while Enna jumped out of her seat again, smiling and babbling excitedly.

Not even an hour later, we were standing in the middle of the hut with both of them facing me and me explaining the minor points of what they needed to do. I explained things to them as I grabbed a small but sharp knife from the kitchen and motioned on myself what they needed to do. After that I handed them the blade and watched over them as they cut into their palm, just under their thumbs, and then nicked the soft flesh of their neck. Then, reassuring them once more that there was nothing they needed to say, I had Samuel cover Enna's bleeding neck with his wounded palm, and Enna do the same. I turned to give them some privacy as they sealed their Bond with a kiss, looking back when I felt and saw the pale blue and green swirls of color dance around them, flashing once by their necks before dissipating.

“That’s it.” I said cheerfully, smiling at the Marks that were now on their necks. “All you need to do know is appear before a Temple for the wedding certification and ceremony.”

They gasped and exclaimed once they noticed the dark swirling marking on each other, with Enna racing out towards the bathroom and returning with a small oval shaped mirror. She beamed as she looked at her Mate Mark, handing the mirror to Samuel who pointed out that they were identical.

“Oh!” I cut in, recalling a bit of information that I had forgotten to mention. “I almost forgot… you see the little points on the star in the middle?” They both looked confused but nodded, seeing the reflection of their Marks. “Each point represents how many children you will have together.” Their eyes widened as they turned to look at me, watching me as I pointed to my own Mark that had a four pointed star. “You see how mine has four? Well I have four children and since the birth of our last, my husband and I have stopped being careful to see if four was really it for us… so far, we’ve had no surprises.”

Enna squealed as she turned to face Samuel, her eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy.

“There’s three…. Oh, Samuel… Three!” She launched herself at him then, knocking him back a step before he stabilized himself, wrapping her up in his arms.

He looked over her head at me as she sobbed quietly into his chest, mouthing out his thanks and making my chest tighten once more. He looked so much happier now than he did the last time I saw him, which was when he had been arrested. There was no longer an air of hatred and malice emanating from him. No cold or blank expression. His voice was much warmer and I could read the brighter emotions in his eyes clearly too.

It truly seemed like he had become a different person, and a big part of me was happy for him.

The light of the fading sun alerted me to how long I had been gone and Samuel volunteered to escort me back down the path while Enna took a moment to collect herself. Silence followed us as we made our way back through the path and I was thankful that he hadn’t turned out to be the type to pressure others into fully forgiving them for their misdeeds. He wasn’t begging me to alleviate his guilt and shame and stunned me that he was actually being considerate of my own emotions and pain.

“Here we are.” He said, waving at the fork in the road clearing that I had run into him. “Do you need me to help you all the way back to the gate?”

“No, I can find my way back from here.” I told him, smiling slightly and turning away. “Thank you… Oh, wait!” I turned back in a hurry after I realized what else I could do to help them. “Here.” I fished out the coin pouch I had hidden in the folds of my skirt and stretched it out to him, smiling awkwardly as he continued to stare. “This should be enough to help you both make it across the border quickly.” I shook the pouch and watched as he hesitated to take it. “You should go to Azuren since they’re our biggest ally… I could even make it so you could find employment as soon as you get to their Capital if you want.”

His eyes widened when he peered into the pouch seeing the dozens of gold coins inside with a few rubies, sapphires and diamonds sprinkled in. This had been one of the many purse pouches that Drako and Ivy prepared for me whenever I would travel, stating that, as Queen, I should never struggle to find accommodations that befit my title. And though I would never really touch much of the jewels or gold coins inside, preferring to stick to silver, I figured that Samuel and Enna could use this to pick out a good home for their family and settle down in peace without difficulty. Especially when Enna would be nearing the end of her pregnancy once they managed to travel across the borders and find a home.

“I… I can't take all of this.” He muttered, looking back at me wide eyed as he attempted to hand the pouch back.

“Yes you can.” I told him, smiling a little bigger. “I insist.”

“No.... truly, this is too much.” He tried giving it to me again, looking slightly lost and pleading. “At least take half, no, more than half of this.” He shook his head, swallowing hard as I stepped back. “We’ll be fine with that and everything else we have.”

“Samuel, you’re taking the pouch.” I said, keeping my voice firm yet friendly. “If you won’t take it from your Queen, then take it from your sister.” He froze then, searching my eyes. “I cherish my nieces and nephews just as much as my own children, and I want to give your three future little ones a good start to life… please, take it.”

His jaw clenched and his eyes closed, making me smile when his body sagged in defeat and he looked back at me with determination and gratitude.

“Thank you.” I nodded, slowly turning to walk back down the path. “I’ll be in the distance during the funeral.” I looked back at him as I squeezed past the first tree, seeing that grief and sadness return to his eyes for a moment. “I want to say good-bye to our Father before we go.”

“I’ll pass along what you said to Rosanna.” He nodded, bowed, then turned and quickly disappeared down the path we just took.

I hiked back to the bent metal fence and slipped through again, dusting off my skirt before looking up to find a familiar and surprising face rounding the corner towards me. She froze as soon as she saw me, her face turning pale and the hood of the cloak covering her slipped back, exposing her further.

‘You filthy little snake.’ I thought, feeling the pyre within me ignite the second we locked eyes.

“You’re the last person I expected to find here, Mina.” I said, straightening up as she took a step back. “Why are you coming to this remote corner of the Duchy, concealed by a cloak and towards a thin little hole big enough to sneak out of?” She turned then and tried to make a run for it, but I raised my hand and made a dropping motion in front of me, creating a wall of fire that stopped her from getting too far away. “There truly is no point in running Mina.” She whimpered and turned back to face me, her rapid motion causing her to drop something made of glass that rolled to the middle of us.

I stared at the vial of murky grey liquid, my anger climbing ever higher as I glared back up at her.

“To think, my sister's long-time Handmaid and most trusted servant,” I bent to pick up the vial, stepping closer to her as she cowered, eventually dropping to her knees as I glowered down at her trembling form. “poisoned our father.”