Wings, Beasts and Claws: Violet Embers

Ch. 24 : Sisters in Grief

*Queen Amara*

I stared at the estate that loomed before me as the carriage I rode in crossed through the gates. A weak smile parted my lips when I caught sight of my sister, much more pregnant now, standing on the steps in front of the doors.

She was in a long sleeved satin black dress with a fur cloak over her shoulders, pulled tightly around by her hands. I stepped out of the carriage with the help of an accompanying Knight and climbed the steps quickly, holding my sister tightly when she launched into my arms. Her sobs and soft whimpers made her body tremble and I nodded to the Knights behind me to open the door for us while I guided her back inside, not wanting her to stand out in the cold wind.

We sat down in the small sitting room beside the entrance until Rosanna was able to collect herself. She sniffled and directed the butler to lead my Knights to their rooms as well as to my old room where I would be staying. I watched quietly until everyone left us, taking note of the flushed pink patches on her cheeks and around her eyes, and the pale complexion hidden behind her light make-up. Her hands are unconsciously rubbing her stomach and I could see that she had not been sleeping well either.

“Where are the children?” I asked her softly, absently rubbing up and down her arm while she continued to stare out at nothing.

“In their rooms, playing.” Her voice was barely loud enough for me to hear her, her lips moving ever so slightly to speak. “I have a few of my most trusted Knights that were friends with my Leo to watch over them while I prepared everything for father.”

I nodded, keeping my eyes on her as the silence took over the room again.

Some maids came in after a short moment and set down fresh cups of tea and pastry tower on the table in front of us. They left just as quietly and I stared at the cups as the quiet took over once more, my eyes narrowing as I wondered if one of those maids, or all, could be the ones behind our fathers death. It was while I continued staring at the cups that I realized that they were uniquely crafted silver cups with the Du Pleasant crest etched into the side. My stomach knotted for a moment, knowing that my sister's caution was reasonable, yet hating that she would have to go through such fearful days because of the culprit.

Who would ever find peace in a home that houses someone that might try to kill you and your family?

“How did you do it?”

Stunned for a second at her sudden, much clearer voice, I stared at her before she spoke again.

“Taking on the role of Queen…. How did you get accustomed to it so quickly?” Her gaze was still filled with sadness as she looked back at me, but there was a glimmer of curiosity and something else that I couldn’t understand. “Even after all of the… awful things my mother and brothers made you suffer through, while pregnant… you got back to the Capital and practically jumped into your future role of Queen as if it was nothing.”

I continued to stare at her, wondering where this was coming from and why she was asking me this out of the blue. It then came to me that she was distracting herself. She was looking for whatever first popped into her mind, bringing it up in conversation and hoping it would be enough to block out the grief, pain and sorrow that was taking over her mind and heart. I reached out and smiled softly at her, recalling how I had done this very thing millions of times in the past to try and forget or ignore the horrible truth that was my life.

“I had prepared myself before then, mentally at least.” I finally answered, seeing the curiosity grow as her brows knit together. “If you think back to the days before I was dragged back here, Dorian and I had grown closer and were spending a lot of time together.” She nodded, turning away to take her cup in her hands, staring at the warm amber liquid before taking a sip. “Well I had made up my mind at that point that I would let my emotions and feelings guide me, and that, if I ended up winning the competition in the end, that I would need to prepare myself for the load of responsibility that was going to be placed on my shoulders.”

She smiled as she set her cup down, turning to me with a slightly brighter gleam in her eyes.

“You were probably the only Queeness thinking about the weight of being the winner.” She chuckled, shaking her head as she sat back a bit more. “From when I had talked to the others before and after your k********g, none of them had thought about the end result if they were the winner. Like me, they were all just busy fantasizing about the wealth, status and power… the responsibility and looming threats of death weren’t on our minds then.” Her brows knitted once more and a disgusted look came over her features as she glanced at me. “There were a few that were delusional and had some sort of one-sided love with His Majesty. And after your coronation, I remember that there were Lady's that were too young to participate in the competition that had high hopes of becoming His Majesty’s concubine…” She laughed then, shaking her head as some distant memory brought out a warmer smile across her face. “A lot of them gave up though once they saw how His Majesty looked, talked and treated you. It was clear then that no one could compete with you.”

I fierce blush took over my cheeks then and Rosanna laughed some more, humming teasingly at me.

After I had managed to calm the heat that spread over my face, we talked about some happier news that had been spreading throughout High Society. Who had found their Mates, up and coming weddings, who was pregnant and those that had inherited their parents titles that had gone to school with us. We laughed, we smiled, we joked about the strange rumors that we had heard.

Hours were spent in that room just enjoying a slice of normality and peace, the pale and tear stained blotches no longer visible on her face by the time the sun disappeared, darkening the sky.

Her children soon appeared and were begging for their mother to read them a story before bed, so I hugged my niece and nephew and made my way out of the room. I didn’t need anyone to show me where my old room was, but even as I climbed the stairs and entered the corridor, I took my time. My eyes locked on the different portraits that have replaced the ones that Rosanna’s mother had hung. Images of Rosanna with her husband and their kids were scattered throughout the building.

When I finally made it to my old room I had to take a moment, feeling my heart beat start to race as a wave of memories struck me. Even though the bed and other furniture was new and the walls had been painted a different color, those darker moments of my past still crashed into me and I stumbled towards the bed as my breathing picked up. I knew that Rosanna had no other choice than to put me in this room since the others held her kids, or were being remodeled, but looking around this old space felt strange and overwhelming.

The corner where I had curled up crying myself to sleep when I was dragged into this building at nine. The space where the vanity sat where I would stare absently at the bruises and smears of blood from my step-mothers special discipline. The empty floor by the bed where my brother Arden had found me unconscious after being starved while I drowned in my own heartbreak and shame. And the thin door to my right that led to the small bathroom where I would go to shout and vent as loud as I could so no one else could hear my rage and pain.

I glanced around at the room again and again, taking the time to filter through all of the memories flashing through my mind. My breathing slowly calmed and my heart returned to its normal thrum.

As I sat there in the now peaceful quiet, a soft knock rang out from my door, a young maid entering with a decently sized leather chest in her hands.

“Forgive the intrusion, Your Majesty.” She said softly, bowing to me with a kind little smile. “But Duchess Du Pleasant has asked me to give this to you.” She extended the chest to my and I took it, placing it on my lap while she continued. “She had asked me to tell you that this was found in your fathers room, hidden deep in his wardrobe. And my Mistress said that you and your brother, Sir Arden Delphia, were the rightful owners of this chest.”

I muttered a soft thank you and waited for the door to close again before opening it, my jaw dropping and the dam of tears bursting as I stared into the stuffed chest.

The first thing that greeted me was a portrait that was just an inch smaller than the chest itself. It held the smiling, joy filled faces of my brother Arden, me… and our mother. We looked to be very young in this image, with the cherubic features of a toddler barely beginning to thin out into the frame of a child. Arden was standing in front of our mother with his profile showing his bright smile and his dark hair being blown back by a breeze. I was kneeling across from him, facing the person taking the portrait a bit more with my hands gripping my mothers hand while I beamed up at her, my eyes squeezed shut in a look of quiet laughter. And our mother, with her deep brown hair cut short to allow her to spar without being blinded, and dark amethyst eyes that were just a few shades darker than mine or my brothers. Her smile was serene and loving as she looked directly at the person taking the portrait. A cream colored ribbon went across her head to keep her swaying locks from covering her face, and the matching cream and soft grey dress she wore was very simple and modest, yet she made it worth millions.

I gingerly placed the canvas beside me on the bed, wiping away at my silent tears while I continued to look at what was underneath.

Two weathered, slightly chipped wooden toy swords were pulled out next, followed by a much smaller portrait of Arden and I in mid-battle with them in hand. A pair of scuffed, dirt covered girl shoes were found next, and I quickly recognized them as the Academy shoes I had lost when I had followed my brother through some deep mud and had them sucked off of my feet. A few old books with the Delphia family crest were followed by that and I quickly hugged them to my chest, recognizing them as sacred text that was passed down through our family. These texts held our family history, the meanings behind our crest and colors, and vital information for the next Head of the Delphia Knighthood.

Arden had done a great job reconstructing what he could remember of our families unique Swordsmanship technique, but he nor I could ever find these very books that detail exactly how to perfect it and what skills and training are required to master it.

More images of Ardena and I in various stages of growth were pulled out after that, along with a few more portraits of our mother and even one of our grey haired grandfather. But the very last portrait that was the same size as the first at the end of my treasure hunt was one I wasn’t expecting.

It was of my mother, much younger, in a lavender dress with hair as long as mine. It was braided and resting over her right shoulder as she smiled up at the man to her left whose arm she was holding. That man was my father, also much younger and staring back at her with the brightest, most love filled gaze I had ever seen on him. Love simply poured out from both of their eyes through this picture and I felt my heart race as I continued to stare.

They looked so happy together, so in love and at peace in each other's presence that it was truly hard for me to recall that my father had already been married and became a father when they met.

I sniffled and smiled weakly at the image, wondering if they were reunited now in the presence of the All Mother.